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Slipped , fell and trying to pull myself up

Sunday, July 12, 2009

I need some support., and I need to face the reality of my mistakes today.
I am really struggling with the weight now. I weighed myself and I am up 4 lbs. I have had to much sodium for a few days and just plain over estimated my portions. I figured it out that my dinners are the killers and not eating at a good time. Then staying up late not helping. In stead of actually weighing it all out I guessed at the portions. I feel so ashamed and disgusted with myself. funny Sp posted an article about 25 ways to get back on track today. Guess they heard my cries. I needed to come clean with my peers so that I can do one of the 12 steps and my own step of Honesty.
I am trying to make it a brand new day!!!
I am giving it my best shot.
DH and I are going to get new measuring stuff today and he is my rock.
Thanks for listening. I am so sorry if I let any of you down besides my self. I tried to be encouraging for others because for so many years all I had was negative responses to all the weight issues. I like all of you have walked the path of negative remarks and how bad we felt. To all of you.. You are awesome and taking the right steps and making the right choices and Please Please do not let anything get in your way. Least of all my fall. Even to this day..
I still hate looking in the mirror and I do not own a full length mirror.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOMMA_BEAR_69 7/13/2009 1:29PM

    Donna, You have had a bad couple of days, that's ok. We have all been there and will be there at least once or twice again. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off (maybe a swift kick to the seat of the pants) and get moving again. You already figured this out and are getting back on track again.
God gives us a new day every 24 hours, start fresh. Each day is a new beginning, treat it as such. Make the most of every day that God gives you.
Wake up each morning knowing that you have been given a new chance, put a smile on your face, give yourself a little pep talk because you know you can do this and get your day started with a happy thought, and thank God you have this new day. Before you go to sleep each night, thank God for the day you have just had and a pat on your back for a job well done...that you did the best you could for that day.
I hope this helps a little. You are in control! You are working toward making yourself a healthier you. You can do this!!!
Any time you want to chat, vent, or have a blessing, just drop me a line...a spark mail, an email, or a comment on my spark page. I will get back to you. I am also diabetic and know exactly what you mean. But just remember "the emoticon will come out tomorrow"!!
God bless you as you continue your journey to a healthier you.

P.S. Just remember, there are days I walk into walls too!!!! I just smile and look for the door.

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DJS-DEBBIE 7/12/2009 6:20PM

    Don't beat yourself up. You know what went wrong and you are working to fix it. I definitely need to measure everything - I am very poor at estimating. I bought a scale for home and measuring spoons and cups for both home and the office. I used to be embarrassed to use them in front of other people but I don't care anymore. SP works if you stick to it.

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PATSDIARY 7/12/2009 2:00PM

    Donna, My heart goes out to you. Don't beat yourself up over the past - it's a new day. And you are mourning the loss of your sweet fur babies. Yes, you need to jump back on the track, but we all fall off sometimes, and all we can do is try again. Measure everything for a week or 2, and see how the results show. It will inspire you!

Your health is the most important gift you can give to yourself, your husband, your friends and your family. As a survivor, you CAN do this!!!


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APRILNFO 7/12/2009 1:00PM

    Maybe it's me, but I feel you are on the right road to success. You analyzed your situation, found the problem, and figured out a resolution. Now if that's not achievement I don't know what is.

Don't dwell too much on what has happened it's in the past. Turn your attention to today and what you can do to make it work in your favor.

Just keep your head up, this too shall past. emoticon

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LYNETTE185 7/12/2009 12:57PM

    I'm sorry that you're struggling. When I focus on the overall immensity of my task, I get overwhelmed. One day, a few days, it's just that if I allow it to be.

ON the other hand, I can club myself over the head with I'VE FAILED I'VE FAILED and the rest that comes with it, and end up gaining 50 pounds.

That part is a choice. It's a choice to sit and not eat when everything in me is screaming for food. It's a choice to weigh and measure when I want to nibble and snack.

You are doing this. You just had some bad days and I know that four pounds is discouraging. But you have good reasons for losing weight and you've already done one of the hardest things anyone can do, going through BC and surviving that. You're amazing, strong, capable, and able to get this train back on the track.

Hope this is a better day for you . . .

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STORMFAN 7/12/2009 12:43PM

    Wow welcome to my club. Since being alone I am finding it easier but I do use a food scale and am always shocked at the portion size. So get moving you have learned a valuable lesson, nothing bad has happened.

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GILLIANMASTERS 7/12/2009 11:43AM

    We all make mistakes it is part of being human. The only one that is perfect is God. So try not to be so hard on yourself. Pick yourself up, realize your mistakes, and strive to do better next time. We are all here rooting for you. You support nd help many of us, now it is our turn to repay the favor. You can do it. I have faith in you and God's plans for you.


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DEE797 7/12/2009 11:23AM

    Please don't be so hard on yourself. We all have setbacks and once we recognize what we can do better than that is what we need to do. You are making some changes to help yourself. Remember baby steps, this didn't happen overnight but you are moving in the right direction. Much success on your journey.


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Washing away the tears.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

The SP Journal posting brought me to tears.
I have been thinking alot about my brother. I don't know if he is alive or dead. Last I knew in Feb 2008 he was at a closing on a family owned house that I did not attend.
Long story short, he turned his back on myself and my sister. Even before my father passed away he was leaving us for his wife's family.
Never talked to my sister or me and I used to send him pictures of our family when I was moving. To let him know and show his kids and grand kids who they had for relatives and what he looked like as a child. Never a response to them, until he once called about my Dad's will in re guards to that family house and he mentioned the pictures. I like an idiot getting tossed a bone felt good . he bragged of all his children and grandchildren that I never saw get married nor saw his kids grow up. Used to send him christmas cards in hope he would ask to see me. My sister was living in Florida at the time and I still in NY. Long before my DH came into my life.
WHen DH and I got engaged I sent out announcements. Nothing from RONALD. Did I really expect it.
Then out of the blue he called and wanted to come to my wedding. I didn't have a big one, Jack & I went on a cruise ship and Bett and Joyce stood up for us. THen we took them on the cruise with us. HAd a blast. Sent out wedding notices and my first Christmas to my wonderful DH we got a card addressed to Donna and Spouse. talk about rude.
Putting all that aside... the ground work was laid many years before.
Then my sister took very ill and she did not want him to know. then she changed her mind and I contacted him and gave hi m every opportunity to get in touch with her. He never did and said.." I will prayer for her".
I let him know when she passed on and he tried to blame me. He even said, Bett hated me even in death. I yelled No she did not.. she cried for her Big Brother. then he told me he would have come. I said he had all the opportunity to call her and didn't. She loved him and when his time comes he can see her in Heaven.
It breaks my heart that the big brother I loved and adored turned his back on us when we were so alone and chose his wife's family. We were not kids either we were all adults. the hard part is he could not accept her life style and I did.. because My sister's Heart never changed for on second in the love and understanding and Inspiration she was to me. She was like another mother to me.
Fly with the Angel My Bett. Ronald.. I will send you a letter today.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BETRME100 7/13/2009 7:54PM

    How painful for you...sending hugs your way today.


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DRADISCH 7/13/2009 5:55PM

    Thank you all so very much. I did as I promised, wrote a note and sent some old family pictures a that he could share with his kids and grand kids. I mailed it today.
The sad part is the grand kids do not know me nor I them. But it is ok. I have to live one day at a time.
many hugs to you all

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MOMMA_BEAR_69 7/13/2009 1:19PM

    Donna, I feel your grief and sorrow and I am praying for you and your family. May God surround you with his infinite love and comfort. I hope he will reach out to you before it is too late.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SKBUCKBEE 7/11/2009 7:25PM

    That is sad. Maybe your brother has something to hide or he is embarrassed of his wife's family. I'm blessed with a close family. My mom was the most wonderful mom I could ask for , but we lost her at age 59. I know this might sound dumb, but keep writing to him. if he didn't really want to hear from you he would fade away into the sunset. My mom did have a sister she begged to come see her. her sister would not do it, but she show up for mom's funeral, then had the guts to ask us for money so she could get back home cause she spent her's playing bingo. She also went to a palm reader who told her my mom gave up on life. Every time she needed my mom , mom would jump on a plane or jump in her car and drive from IL. to California. You know you have nothing to feel bad about, you have done everything to get your brother back into his blood family. One day he will need you. I just hope he doesn't wait until it is to late. I really truly hope he see the light.


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DOREENKNIGHT64 7/11/2009 2:59PM

    All you can do is reach out and hope the other person reaches back. You've done all you can, and have nothing to reproach yourself with.

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SHOES17 7/11/2009 12:46PM

    Hang in there. Sometimes we have to be the first one to reach out. I am sort of there right now. I read a quote today talking about if we dont reach out we lose. However it is hard to take the first step. emoticon

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A beautiful email I received.

Thursday, July 09, 2009

I received this from my cousin and wanted to share it. May it bring you peace and comfort and a new appreciation of You.

You reap what you sow

Good morning said a woman as she walked up to the man sitting on ground.
The man slowly looked up.

This was a woman clearly accustomed to the finer things of life. Her coat was new. She looked like she had never missed a meal in her life.

His first thought was that she wanted to make fun of him, like so many others had done before. "Leave me alone," he growled....

To his amazement, the woman continued standing.

She was smiling -- her even white teeth displayed in dazzling rows. "Are you hungry?" she asked.

"No," he answered sarcastically. "I've just come from dining with the president. Now go away."

The woman's smile became even broader.

Suddenly the man felt a gentle hand under his arm.

"What are you doing, lady?" the man asked angrily. "I said to leave me alone.

Just then a policeman came up. "Is there any problem, ma'am?" he asked..

"No problem here, officer," the woman answered. "I'm just trying to get this man to his feet.. Will you help me?"

The officer scratched his head.. "That's old Jack. He's been a fixture around here for a couple of years. What do you want with him?"

"See that cafeteria over there?" she asked. "I'm going to get him something to eat and get him out of the cold for awhile."

"Are you crazy, lady?" the homeless man resisted. "I don't want to go in there!" Then he felt strong hands grab his other arm and lift him up. "Let me go, officer. I didn't do anything."

"This is a good deal for you, Jack," the officer answered. "Don't blow it."

Finally, and with some difficulty, the woman and the police officer got Jack into the cafeteria and sat him at a table in a remote corner. It was the middle of the morning, so most of the breakfast crowd had already left and the lunch bunch had not yet arrived...

The manager strode across the cafeteria and stood by his table. "What's going on here, officer?" he asked. "What is all this, is this man in trouble?"

"This lady brought this man in here to be fed," the policeman answered.

"Not in here!" the manager replied angrily. "Having a person like that here is bad for business."

Old Jack smiled a toothless grin. "See, lady. I told you so. Now if you'll let me go. I didn't want to come here in the first place."

The woman turned to the cafeteria manager and smiled. "Sir, are you familiar with Eddy and Associates, the banking firm down the street?"

"Of course I am," the manager answered impatiently. "They hold their weekly meetings in one of my banquet rooms."

"And do you make a goodly amount of money providing food at these weekly meetings?"

"What business is that of yours?"

I, sir, am Penelope Eddy, president and CEO of the company."


The woman smiled again. "I thought that might make a difference." She glanced at the cop who was busy stifling a giggle. "Would you like to join us in a cup of coffee and a meal, officer?"

"No thanks, ma'am," the officer replied. "I'm on duty."

"Then, perhaps, a cup of coffee to go?"

"Yes, ma'am. That would be very nice."

The cafeteria manager turned on his heel, "I'll get your coffee for you right away, officer."

The officer watched him walk away. "You certainly put him in his place," he said.

"That was not my intent. Believe it or not, I have a reason for all this."

She sat down at the table across from her amazed dinner guest. She stared at him intently. "Jack, do you remember me?"

Old Jack searched her face with his old, rheumy eyes.. "I think so -- I mean you do look familiar."

"I'm a little older perhaps," she said. "Maybe I've even filled out more than in my younger days when you worked here, and I came through that very door, cold and hungry."

"Ma'am?" the officer said questioningly. He couldn't believe that such a magnificently turned out woman could ever have been hungry.

"I was just out of college," the woman began. "I had come to the city looking for a job, but I couldn't find anything. Finally I was down to my last few cents and had been kicked out of my apartment. I walked the streets for days. It was February and I was cold and nearly starving. I saw this place and walked in on the off chance that I could get something to eat."

Jack lit up with a smile. "Now I remember," he said. "I was behind the serving counter. You came up and asked me if you could work for something to eat. I said that it was against company policy."

"I know," the woman continued. "Then you made me the biggest roast beef sandwich that I had ever seen, gave me a cup of coffee, and told me to go over to a corner table and enjoy it. I was afraid that you would get into trouble... Then, when I looked over and saw you put the price of my food in the cash register, I knew then that everything would be all right."

"So you started your own business?" Old Jack said.

"I got a job that very afternoon. I worked my way up. Eventually I started my own business that, with the help of God, prospered." She opened her purse and pulled out a business card. "When you are finished here, I want you to pay a visit to a Mr. Lyons...He's the personnel director of my company. I'll go talk to him now and I'm certain he'll find something for you to do around the office." She smiled. "I think he might even find the funds to give you a little advance so that you can buy some clothes and get a place to live until you get on your feet.. If you ever need anything, my door is always opened to you."

There were tears in the old man's eyes.. "How can I ever thank you?" he said.

"Don't thank me," the woman answered. "To God goes the glory. Thank Jesus... He led me to you."

Outside the cafeteria, the officer and the woman paused at the entrance before going their separate ways...

"Thank you for all your help, officer," she said.

"On the contrary, Ms. Eddy," he answered. "Thank you. I saw a miracle today, something that I will never forget. And..And thank you for the coffee."

If you have missed knowing me, you have missed nothing.

If you have missed some of my emails, you might have missed a laugh.

But, if you have missed knowing my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, you have missed everything in the world.

Have a Wonderful Day. May God Bless You Always and don't forget that when you "cast your bread upon the waters," you never know how it will be returned to you...

God is so big He can cover the whole world with his Love and so small He can curl up inside your heart..

When God leads you to the edge of the cliff, trust Him fully and let go.
Only 1 of 2 things will happen, either He'll catch you when you fall, or He'll teach you how to fly!

The power of one sentence!

God is going to shift things around for you today and let things work in your favor.

If you believe, send it.
If you don't believe, delete it.

God closes doors no man can open & God opens doors no man can close..
If you need God to open some doors for you...send this on.

Have a blessed day and remember to be a blessing...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FLYFROG 7/10/2009 12:33PM

    Lovely! (Wiping the tears as I write)

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    What a wonderful tale. Reading it made me so happy that I found this place. Not even 18 hours into this new adventure and I am feeling inspired. Thank You for sharing this with us.

Gillian emoticon

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Heart Hugs

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Where but here, can anybody and everybody get heart hugs. When you feel lousy and alone. You turn on your computer and click on Sp and there you are among so many wonderful souls.
All on the same journey and all on a different road but one destination. There are helping hands, kind words, little goodies and above all HEart Hugs.
No one to say "Oh you were so Bad, or did you have to eat that, You have such a pretty face, can't you lose weight."
No Not One. Only good wishes , shoulders to lean on and friends to talk it out with.
So many teams so many Gentle souls, it doest' matter what you look like, who you are, if you are well educated or not. Just people, helping other people. Don't you wish the world was like SP?
Some of the teams have the question.. What are you grateful for?
I am grateful for SP, my teams , the blogs of people not even on any teams I am on, the warm mental hugs and Being Blessed everyday to be able to be alive.
I know big mush, but that is me.
To all of you I am wishing many successes and many many heart hugs every day!!! www.danceintherainmovie.com/

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FLYFROG 7/9/2009 8:46AM


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Fly with the Angels MJ

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

What a beautiful tribute today to Michael Jackson. I didn't think it would touch me as deeply as it did. There were a few times I broke down and cried.
The man left a legacy of beautiful music and showmanship. So many negative reports were always flying around and a lot of his humanitarian deeds were not told.
What saddened me the most was when the Congresswoman Johnson said that Michael walked the hall of Walter Reed Hospital to talk thank all the wounded.
I never once heard it on the news.
The topper was his brother Germaine singing Smile and MJ's daughter standing up there so brave saying how he was the best daddy and she loved him.
Rest in Peace Michael Fly with the Angels and grace Heaven with your beautiful voice.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRAMTOTWO 7/8/2009 9:46AM

    I watched the entire memorial service. It is part of history - a - where were you when you heard. I loved that all performances were truly from the heart. It was a wonderful tribute to life gone to soon. I have a feeling that his children, like the children of Princess Diana, will someday carry on his humanitarian efforts in his honor.

In the words of Mother Teresa: "If you judge people, you have no time to love them."

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DRADISCH 7/7/2009 10:39PM

    Peggy I don't know how I left that out. Thanks for reminding me. You are right.
May he Rest in Peace!!!

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TXSPLA 7/7/2009 10:20PM

    I fell the same way you do. It was a beautiful tribute. His brother Germaine singing and then his daughter. Boy did I cry.
One thing when congresswoman Johnson said in the US you are innocent until proven guilty. He was never proven guilty.
Fly with the angels MJ.

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