Monday, June 29, 2009
Sometimes we have to have something we do not always eat that might be a trigger food. I try very very hard and when I can't take it anymore ,I fit it in.
I do know that if I do not write it down daily, I will sabotage myself. That has always been my major trigger. I have to commit to the writing or I might as well hang it up. Go back to being a fat couch potato. I start off full steam and then write it down.. you have got to be kidding. then Bam.. back to the old me.. super failure.
Oh I joined OA once when I was in my 20's and did super..then i I got a sponsor and she said I had to write everything down and best of all. tell her what I am going to eat and how much and when.
Well do i have to tell you how quick that deal ended. So what did I do.. go to a diet Doctor..he sure put me on a diet and diet pills. Way back then..they were amphetamines..You were up and flying around. my poor dad came home and slid in the front door .. I had washed and waxed every floor in the house. So needless to say I am a good judge of diets and my own triggers. FINALLY I woke up after the dumb thingsI have done in the name of weight loss and excuses why I failed. I failed because I sabotaged myself.. poor me, i didn't like the rules so I ate. I didn't get what I wanted I ate I didn't ....... and I ate.
I did learn that there are foods I crave and I can have a bit and fit it in and others No WAy.
You will not believe what just happened as I am writing this...
My Darling DH.. just made edwards Singles Hot Fudge Brownie with ice cream. Yes and the browin has to be mircowaved and then add the ice cream. Do you realize I am sitting here smelling the hot brownie. So I took it and held and smelled it and gave it back to him.. I had aroma therapy just now.
Ok can I jump out the window now.
Ok so the smell of Hot Brownie isn't good aroma therapy...Not for me anyway. Besides If I am ever going to binge... Don't worry I am not.. Only joking. Idon't want to have any of it. Now that was my point of all this rambling..I wrote down all I can have tonight and am Not going to deviate from the list..So If i didn't write it out I would have gone over the edge. It also helps that I am diabetic and that would have killed me.. I don't mess with God's Plan he gave me a second chance at life and I am not going to blow it..My darling just finished it and fit it all in his food journal....He will probably lose more weight again next friday....Hmmmmmmm Now I will go sniff my apple and eat it and go to catch up on my soaps I taped.
So I hope this helped and I didn't bore you too much.
Many hugs and remember to recognize your own personal triggers and No Self Sabotage.. It isn't fun anymore .... G'night all