Friday, August 24, 2012
I guess I've had an "Aha!" moment.
It has been building over the past few weeks and I'm almost afraid to put it into words. I don't want to jinx it. I've spent the majority of my adult life on a roller coaster of diet-binge-diet with only brief periods of being "thin". Even when I was at a normal weight, I saw myself as fat.
It was only years later, looking at old pictures of myself, that I could see what I really looked like at the time.
As I've gotten my diet under control, my food cravings are changing. Instead of chips and candy, I'm craving fruit and salads. I feel like my mind is clearer. Before, I was masking my feelings with food, stuffing down unpleasant emotions. Now food is my fuel and I want the high-octane brand, not the watered-down junk.
The biggest change is that I am starting to visualize myself as an athlete.
That has NEVER happened. I was sick for the past week and the biggest thing I missed was my workouts. I was resenting the interruption in my virtual trip! And I'm starting to think about running!
I'm not there yet - there are issues with my knees and an ankle that will have to improve a lot before I can subject them to all that pounding. But I WANT to get there.
One thing that got me thinking is the article on body type at: http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/fitnes
Especially this part: "Endomorphs are generally shaped like apples (men, especially) or pears (women, especially), and naturally carry more body fat even at their ideal weight. Their bodies may resist losing weight and body fat even when they are restrictive with their eating. In fact, the more they “diet,” the more their metabolisms slow down to resist weight loss. Overweight endomorphs don’t necessarily eat more than their slimmer counterparts—they simply tend to store more calories as fat than ectomorphs and mesomorphs. This is a handy trait to have if you have to contend with famines and food shortages—but not so handy otherwise."
Needless to say, this is my type. I could either be depressed about it and whine about how it's unfair that I'll never lose all these hips
OR I can look at it another way:
1. I am genetically configured to be a survivor.
2. I will always have curves. My husband likes that, so it's all good.
3. I don't have to starve myself (it would just be counter-productive anyway, since my body jumps into "famine-mode" so easily).
4. I can be healthy and strong and athletic.
I just finished "Wild (From Lost to Found on the Pacific Coast Trail)" by Cheryl Strayed and am now reading "The Competitor in Me" by Francie Van Wirkus - and getting the urge to do a lot more physically. I may be trading a food addiction to an exercise addiction, but it's a much healthier tradeoff. AND I'm having more fun than I've had in years!
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
As I mentioned in my last blog, I've taken inspiration from IVANASLURPEE and started a virtual trip from Ohio to Maui. The nice thing about virtual trips is you don't have to worry about all the pesky hazards that come with biking that far (like bad weather, bugs, dogs, crazy drivers, and of course - the ocean!
The total number of miles I'll need to log on my exercise bike to complete the trip will be 4,857. That number is a l i t t l e overwhelming. So I broke the trip down into stages.
Leg 1 is 218 miles to Santa Claus, Indiana.
As of last night, I have pedaled 52 miles and crossed the Indiana state line. 166 miles to go for this stage of my journey. I look forward to seeing what Santa Claus has to offer!
Saturday, August 04, 2012
The "Biggest Loser" competition at work finished yesterday. I went to my final weigh-in, not too confident because the scale hasn't been kind to me since the beginning of June. According to the scale, I've lost 2.6 pounds since June 6th. BUT...the legs of my pants are looser and a pair of shorts I just bought that would have been tight at the beginning of the summer are too big.
I had measured myself last week for the first time and I'd really been pushing myself the past 2 weeks, so I measured again. I've lost 4.5 inches since last week! (Told ya I'd been pushing myself!) I can now do 10 girl (on the knees) pushups and 35 crunches without stopping. Something is definitely happening here.
The thing is, other than my face looking thinner, I can't see it when I look in a mirror. A distorted body image is common for those of us with eating disorders. My mom and my husband say they see a difference. I'm going to have to trust their eyes since I can't trust my own.
. . .
On another note, I went to see the Reds play the Phillies last night with my husband and younger son.
Both of my boys had pitched in to take their dad for a belated Father's Day gift, but my older son couldn't get off work. I felt bad for him, but it was so good to get out! The Reds won 3-0, Marty Brennaman - Reds sportscaster who is an institution in Cincinnati - had pledged to shave his head if the team won 10 straight. He said he'd do it publicly if $20,000 was raised for charity. They raised $50,000! So Marty had his head shaved at Home Plate after the game (he looks younger in my opinion). Afterward , they had a fireworks show over the stadium. It was a lot of fun. And it made me realize that there hasn't been much fun in my life lately. I'm definitely going to have to work on that.
. . .
Speaking of fun....one of my new Spark Buddies, IVANASLURPEE - has a great idea for making exercise on a treadmill or stationary bike more fun. Check out her website: http://bikingacrossamerica.weebly.com
I love this idea! I'm just trying to decide where I want to bike TO. Hawaii?
I can learn to hula! And I don't care about no stinkin' ocean! I'll just pedal right across! After all, Google Maps says we can. Go to Google Maps and select Driving Directions. Put in San Francisco, CA as the starting point and Okinawa, Japan as the destination. Then click Get Directions. If Google says it, it MUST be true! All I need now is a kayak that will hold my bike.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
I didn't formally write down any goals for July. I was pretty much making them up as I went. After today, I'll have 620 minutes of exercise for the month. I've gone from 20 minutes on the exercise bike to an hour. I'm drinking a lot more water and eating a lot more veggies than I was in June. So for August, I want to:
1. Exceed 800 fitness minutes for the month - cardio 3 times per week and weight-bearing/toning exercises 2 times per week.
2. Get to the point where I can do 10 jumping jacks and run 100 yards without hurting myself.
3. Balance the extra fitness with the right number of calories. I have some trouble with this -eat too much & I gain weight, eat too little and my weight stalls then starts creeping up.
4. Find 5 healthy meals the whole family will eat. This is a real challenge!
5. Build some fun into my schedule (there hasn't been too much of that lately). One fun activity per week!
What are your goals for next month?
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
I get up this morning, a little tired but OK. I put on a skirt and a cute little top I just bought, remembered my lunch, and left for work. There was a rainbow in the sky when I pulled up and, later, some much-needed rain. I was in a good mood and feeling good all morning.
Something happened after lunch. I was feeling stressed-out and REALLY wanted to chew something. I had a couple of snacks I had budgeted for the day - still on the meal plan and still well within my calorie limit. I caught myself attacking my apple & peanut butter like a ravenous beast.
It wasn't pretty. I switched to gum, then felt my jaw easing out of socket because I was chewing so hard (happens sometimes, but not lately). The job can be stressful but wasn't so bad today. I'm still feeling wound up, anxious, and irritable. I think PMS may be rearing its ugly head. Anybody else feel like someone you don't know (and don't particularly like) is taking over your body once a month?
I'm going to work out and see if that helps. It usually does. I really hate this feeling, but this too shall pass.
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