Tuesday, August 14, 2012
As I mentioned in my last blog, I've taken inspiration from IVANASLURPEE and started a virtual trip from Ohio to Maui. The nice thing about virtual trips is you don't have to worry about all the pesky hazards that come with biking that far (like bad weather, bugs, dogs, crazy drivers, and of course - the ocean!
The total number of miles I'll need to log on my exercise bike to complete the trip will be 4,857. That number is a l i t t l e overwhelming. So I broke the trip down into stages.
Leg 1 is 218 miles to Santa Claus, Indiana.
As of last night, I have pedaled 52 miles and crossed the Indiana state line. 166 miles to go for this stage of my journey. I look forward to seeing what Santa Claus has to offer!
Saturday, August 04, 2012
The "Biggest Loser" competition at work finished yesterday. I went to my final weigh-in, not too confident because the scale hasn't been kind to me since the beginning of June. According to the scale, I've lost 2.6 pounds since June 6th. BUT...the legs of my pants are looser and a pair of shorts I just bought that would have been tight at the beginning of the summer are too big.
I had measured myself last week for the first time and I'd really been pushing myself the past 2 weeks, so I measured again. I've lost 4.5 inches since last week! (Told ya I'd been pushing myself!) I can now do 10 girl (on the knees) pushups and 35 crunches without stopping. Something is definitely happening here.
The thing is, other than my face looking thinner, I can't see it when I look in a mirror. A distorted body image is common for those of us with eating disorders. My mom and my husband say they see a difference. I'm going to have to trust their eyes since I can't trust my own.
. . .
On another note, I went to see the Reds play the Phillies last night with my husband and younger son.
Both of my boys had pitched in to take their dad for a belated Father's Day gift, but my older son couldn't get off work. I felt bad for him, but it was so good to get out! The Reds won 3-0, Marty Brennaman - Reds sportscaster who is an institution in Cincinnati - had pledged to shave his head if the team won 10 straight. He said he'd do it publicly if $20,000 was raised for charity. They raised $50,000! So Marty had his head shaved at Home Plate after the game (he looks younger in my opinion). Afterward , they had a fireworks show over the stadium. It was a lot of fun. And it made me realize that there hasn't been much fun in my life lately. I'm definitely going to have to work on that.
. . .
Speaking of fun....one of my new Spark Buddies, IVANASLURPEE - has a great idea for making exercise on a treadmill or stationary bike more fun. Check out her website: http://bikingacrossamerica.weebly.com
I love this idea! I'm just trying to decide where I want to bike TO. Hawaii?
I can learn to hula! And I don't care about no stinkin' ocean! I'll just pedal right across! After all, Google Maps says we can. Go to Google Maps and select Driving Directions. Put in San Francisco, CA as the starting point and Okinawa, Japan as the destination. Then click Get Directions. If Google says it, it MUST be true! All I need now is a kayak that will hold my bike.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
I didn't formally write down any goals for July. I was pretty much making them up as I went. After today, I'll have 620 minutes of exercise for the month. I've gone from 20 minutes on the exercise bike to an hour. I'm drinking a lot more water and eating a lot more veggies than I was in June. So for August, I want to:
1. Exceed 800 fitness minutes for the month - cardio 3 times per week and weight-bearing/toning exercises 2 times per week.
2. Get to the point where I can do 10 jumping jacks and run 100 yards without hurting myself.
3. Balance the extra fitness with the right number of calories. I have some trouble with this -eat too much & I gain weight, eat too little and my weight stalls then starts creeping up.
4. Find 5 healthy meals the whole family will eat. This is a real challenge!
5. Build some fun into my schedule (there hasn't been too much of that lately). One fun activity per week!
What are your goals for next month?
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
I get up this morning, a little tired but OK. I put on a skirt and a cute little top I just bought, remembered my lunch, and left for work. There was a rainbow in the sky when I pulled up and, later, some much-needed rain. I was in a good mood and feeling good all morning.
Something happened after lunch. I was feeling stressed-out and REALLY wanted to chew something. I had a couple of snacks I had budgeted for the day - still on the meal plan and still well within my calorie limit. I caught myself attacking my apple & peanut butter like a ravenous beast.
It wasn't pretty. I switched to gum, then felt my jaw easing out of socket because I was chewing so hard (happens sometimes, but not lately). The job can be stressful but wasn't so bad today. I'm still feeling wound up, anxious, and irritable. I think PMS may be rearing its ugly head. Anybody else feel like someone you don't know (and don't particularly like) is taking over your body once a month?
I'm going to work out and see if that helps. It usually does. I really hate this feeling, but this too shall pass.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
I've been fat most of my adult life. Even in my thinner periods, my relationship with food was unhealthy and extreme. I didn't get to be obese because I liked to eat (even though I do). Food was my comforter, stress reliever, companion, and drug of choice. There was no need to deal with uncomfortable feelings as long as I could bury them under large quantities of sugar, starches, and greasy goodies.
Now that my mind has been cleared through a healthier lifestyle, all those little (and big) hurts I had stuffed down with food are now bubbling up. They never really went away. I'm having to deal with them now because I didn't deal with them when they happened. Some things I had no control over but some were self-inflicted. So there is also guilt over my part in hurting myself and in hurting people who love me. Sometimes the feelings are really intense. Mostly, there is just a general feeling of anxiety. Exercise helps (love those endorphins!) but I suspect, like my weight loss, there won't be a quick fix. I have to find a way to come to terms with old hurts and move on as a better person.
I've been studying to be a substance abuse counselor. A couple of things I have learned apply directly to my own situation:
1. High levels of sugar over time will affect the brain the same way alcohol does. It causes physical changes in the reward pathways that lead to cravings, withdrawal symptoms, and drug-seeking behavior (hidden food stashes, late-night runs for snacks, eating what is there if going out isn't an option). If you want more information on this, check out the link below:
2. A common trait among addicts is immaturity. This is because the path to maturity involves dealing with the pain of life and learning from it. If I am burying my pain by binging, I'm keeping myself at the same level. It makes me feel better for a while, but the pain is still there, festering. It has to be dealt with eventually or it will never heal.
“Maturity is when your world opens up and you realize that you are not the center of it.” ― M.J. Croan
“The greatest day in your life and mine is when we take total responsibility for our attitudes. That's the day we truly grow up.” ― John C. Maxwell
“I began to understand that suffering and disappointments and melancholy are there not to vex us or cheapen us or deprive us of our dignity but to mature and transfigure us.”
― Hermann Hesse
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