Monday, July 09, 2012
I started this "biggest loser" competition at work on June 6th. I was pretty sick of myself at the time and needed some motivation to start taking care of myself again. I was really pushing myself, counting everything I ate and working out harder than I had in a long time. After 2 weeks, I had GAINED 2 1/2 pounds. I was a wee bit frustrated, to put it mildly.
So, I talk to one of the trainers at the gym that is doing our weigh-ins. I told her I was using SP and my calorie range was 1200-1500 per day. She suggested that I might need to eat more than that and my body may be going into starvation mode. (I am 5' 8" tall with a large frame.)
For the past 2 weeks, I've been eating 1400-2000 calories per day (usually around 1800). My workouts got derailed also due to 100+ degree heat and issues with my knees and an ankle. I did a few gentle walks with Trixie the cockapoo (6 pounds of fluff and thinks she's a doberman), but that was it. I weighed in today and I'm DOWN 4 1/2 pounds. This leaves me happy, but still a bit frustrated. My competitive, perfectionistic side wants to push harder to get there faster, but my body has other ideas.
MORAL: More-harder-faster isn't always better. Starving and stressing my body did the opposite of what I wanted. Being kind to myself with healthy food choices and gentle exercise are not only easier to maintain long-term, but give me the results I want.
Friday, June 22, 2012
I was looking forward to my weigh-in for our Biggest Loser contest wednesday. I've been tracking my (much healthier) food, measuring everything. I started doing the 30 Day Shred video, which leaves me a panting puddle of sweat on the floor (cry, fat, cry!).
I'm feeling stronger, have more energy, my pants are fitting better, and I no longer have to deal with daily heartburn. (I know I keep bringing that up, but it was miserable!)
So, after work, I go to the gym that agreed to handle our weigh-ins.
I step on the scale, full of anticipation,
only to find that I've lost .2 pounds. That's 2/10ths of a pound! After going from 219 to 221 the week before. Color me frustrated. The trainer checked my BMI - it hasn't changed. So we went over my nutrition. I'm already doing most of what they suggest, though my salt intake might be too high & my carbs too low. My mom is diabetic, so I try to make what is good for her, too.
The suggestion was made that I may not be taking in enough calories and my body may be going into starvation mode, hoarding what I take in. I have run into this before on one of my many, many attempts to take off this weight. At the time, I found I couldn't go below 1400 calories/day. I've been keeping above that limit, just in case. The trainer gave me a copy of the diet they use at the gym - 5 meals/day, protein at each meal, lots of fruits & veggies, and whole grains. Like I said before, I'm already eating this way, for the most part, but I haven't been cooking everything myself. Cooking and I are not best friends.
So I smiled, thanked her, and left the gym then spent the rest of the evening frustrated and feeling sorry for myself. My husband and sons tried to cheer me up (they agreed I'd probably not been eating enough) but it didn't help much.
I had a good wallow and a good cry and a bigger than usual dinner and went to bed. Yesterday morning, I'm still in a bit of a funk and find that I can't get the wrinkles out of the shirt I was going to wear to work. I didn't have a backup shirt so I grabbed my son's Men's Large polo shirt & hoped real hard I could get it on because I really didn't have time to dig up something else. It fit. It fit well! This would not have happened a few months ago - if I had managed to get it on then, I would have looked like a stuffed sausage in that shirt.
My mood took a turn for the better. I'm still frustrated because the only way I will find out how many calories are "too much" and how many are "not enough" is trial and error. I hate trial and error. I want everything to be smooth and easy to understand. Working hard doesn't bother me but uncertainty really does. I'm just going to have to put on my big girl panties and get over it. I refuse to give up.
Friday, June 15, 2012
I recently re-committed myself to a healthier lifestyle after a long period of eating junk and acting the part of Couch Potato. I had some disappointments and extra stress in my life (had to postpone finishing my degree, my Mom moved in with us due to health problems, and we've been having money problems). These were my excuses to bury myself in chocolate & television. It wasn't until I started earning some health problems of my own that I came to my senses.
It has only been three weeks since I started eating better. I joined a Biggest Loser contest at work last week, and my first weigh-in was better than I expected. My weigh-in this week showed that I had gained 2.1 pounds. I weighed in on the same day, but the first one was before lunch and the 2nd was after work. I tightened up on my diet the past couple of days and am starting to exercise again (after hurting my knee last week). This morning, I was able to zip up my jeans, fresh from the dryer, without stretching them out first. Progress!
One step at a time.
From a motivational poster: "Losing weight is hard, maintaining weight is hard, staying fat is hard; CHOOSE YOUR HARD."
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
When most of us think about the word freedom, we think of a complete absence of any kind of restrictions - doing what we want, when we want, how we want. When I applied that kind of "freedom" to food, I found myself bound to an unhealthy body that restricted my freedom in most other areas of my life. Carrying around an extra 80+ pounds meant I couldn't participate in activities with my family (or if I did, I slowed them all down). Fatigue, joint problems, mood swings, unstable blood sugar, and digestive problems plagued everything I did.
I've learned the hard way that true freedom means self-control. My choices have consequences. It is my job to weigh the consequences and make the choices that are going to give my life the best balance. My choices determine whether I am bound to the couch (and the doctor's office) or free to live a life of activity...maybe even adventure! I have a long way to go yet, but I know I'll get there (one step at a time).
Friday, June 08, 2012
This is my zillionth time at starting over. I've been on the diet roller coaster for 35 years now. I actually started again a couple of weeks ago. My plus-sized clothes were tight, I was having heartburn at least twice a day, trouble sleeping, no energy, and living with depression. Of course, I was trying to deal with stress and depression by putting food in my mouth, which just aggravated the problems.
I found out a few years ago that I'm a carbohydrate addict. I went on the South Beach Diet, lived through 2 weeks of fatigue and irritability (withdrawal) then had a great period of no cravings, no heartburn, and more energy. You would think that I'd stick with something that worked so well. But no, like any addict, I found my way back to my drug of choice and quickly went back to my old ways. My highest weight (that I know about - you know we avoid scales) was 246. I got down to 211 and hit a plateau. Not being the world's most patient individual, I fought it for a while then gave up. I didn't gain everything back, but got back up to 230.
Now I'm at 219. I joined a 'Biggest Loser' contest at work and am making good use of the SparkPeople tools. I need all the motivation I can get. My pants are fitting better, I'm not having the food cravings, and the heartburn only crops up now and then. The low-carb eating plan that's good for me is also good for my diabetic mother, who lives with us (more motivation).
I've started exercising again. This isn't my favorite, but I always feel better afterwards. I am SO out of shape, I think I'll have to work up to couch potato! I refuse to give up this time. I'm also sick & tired of being a quitter.
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