DR8561   13,747
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Feeling Sexy

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

I took a weekend away with my DH this past weekend. We didn't go far, just to a hotel the next town over, but we needed some alone time (which can be rare as hen's teeth in my house).

We had a pleasant weekend, checking out the local flea market, going to the horse races, and out to eat. My DH kept commenting on how much weight I've lost and a stranger at the flea market called me "striking". I choose to believe the compliment was genuine and she wasn't just trying to sell me something.

I actually felt sexy this weekend. I didn't feel sexy when I was much younger and thinner. When I look at pictures of myself back then, I looked pretty good. At the time, all I could see was a fat girl in the mirror. I never saw myself as I was, just how badly I compared against other women. My whole focus was on what was wrong with me....all of the time. No wonder I turned to food.

I still see that fat girl in the mirror (now with wrinkles, too). But sometimes, like this weekend, I see an attractive - and yes, sexy - woman. A woman who deserves better than I gave her for a long time. I'm not there yet, but I'm in a much better place than I have been.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHERYLDS 4/16/2014 10:00AM

    sexy is a state of mind...but looking great and feeling healthy is even better than sexy.

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    emoticon It's a work in progress for all of us.

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ALIHIKES 4/15/2014 11:22AM

    Sounds like a great weekend, and a great improvement in feeling positive about yourself! emoticon

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Food Addict Relapse

Wednesday, April 09, 2014

I went on a binge last night. I'd been doing so well. Since I was diagnosed with diabetes in January, I've been closely monitoring my carbohydrates and my blood sugar. I hadn't even been having cravings. I let a little bread creep into my diet - a biscuit when I knew I'd be going to the gym, low-calorie whole wheat bread for a sandwich, some chips here and there. I should have seen it coming but, like any addict, I'm an expert at fooling myself.

So last night I'm eating dinner alone. I had the chicken and salad, skipping the biscuit. There was a chocolate pop tart my son left lying in the living room that was calling my name. I had a mini bag of popcorn instead. Then I gave in and ate the pop tart. Then I grabbed a couple of Girl Scout cookies my other son left out. By then I was feeling drugged by the carbs and I knew I'd messed up. I took 4 units of insulin to counteract some of the sugar and drank some water. As binges go, it was far from my worst. But diabetes complicates things.

When I checked my blood glucose before bed it was up to 353. I took another 6 units of insulin. This morning, it was down to 150. I was groggy, feeling hung over, and a little sick to my stomach. I'm back on my eating plan now.

If any of you have read A.A.'s Blue Book, you'll be familiar of the story of the alcoholic, sober for years, who got it in his head he could drink again if he mixed the alcohol with milk. He wound up in worse shape than he started. There is an element of insanity to addiction. I felt that last night. Addiction is the enemy and I can't afford to let my guard down. I know where this path leads.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DR8561 4/9/2014 10:53AM

    Thanks THINFITKINDVGAN. I was lonely and bored. And frustrated because Tuesday is my gym day and I couldn't go because my back went out over the weekend. I needed to distract myself with something other than TV.

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    What were the thoughts/emotions that were being ignored and then played out when you binged? That is what needs to be looked at.

I'd say you did pretty darn good.

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More good test results!

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

I saw my Dr. on Friday (I got my A1C results early). He was very pleased with me. Not only is my A1C in a good place, my cholesterol numbers are much better as well. Now, instead of going in every 3 months, I only have to go in every 6. I've been working really hard to manage my blood sugar and get in better shape. It's nice to see the numbers reflect that!

I've got 20 years' experience in Tech Support, troubleshooting problems, so I used those skills to research answers for my own health.

What's working:
*a low-carb diet (watching the glycemic index of the carbs I eat)

*keeping my daily calories between 1200 and 1500 to lose fat (not enough calories can be as bad as too many)

*exercising - cardio to improve stamina and weights to build muscle (which can improve insulin resistance), and being conscientious about my meds

This means tracking my food, exercise, meds, and blood glucose readings. I've figured out that 1 unit of insulin lowers my blood glucose (bg) 15 points (that's assuming I'm not sick and haven't eaten foods - like biscuits - that really spike my bg). I'm still trying to figure out how much 10 grams of carbohydrate raises my bg. Once I have that piece of the puzzle, I should be able to plan my insulin doses to keep my bg levels in a good range. I've got it consistently under 200 now, but I want to keep it under 150.

It's a lot of trial and error. What works for me won't necessarily work for everybody, since every body is different. But I've learned that it is definitely doable if I'm willing to put in the work.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    Your desire to get this worked out will lead you to your answers. Mine was to keep my fat intake to less than 15% of total calories and from plant based raw sources only.

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SUNSHINE192DAY 3/25/2014 9:53AM

    It's so great that you're doing well! I feel like I'm a slacker compared to you because I don't have diabetes and you do yet you manage it AND all the weight loss tools. I can't even use the tools half the time lol. Have a great day!

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LOVELESMILLS 3/25/2014 9:41AM


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Good Test Results

Thursday, March 20, 2014

I'm still working on rebuilding my strength after dislocating my shoulder. I feel myself getting stronger, but still have to be careful with the exercises I do and the weight for each. Some are a lot easier than others.

I got good news this week. I had blood work done on the 1st. In January, my A1C was over 10 (it is supposed to be less than 7). It is now 5.9, thanks to a fairly strict low-carb diet. This means my blood sugars are consistently much better.

I'm also starting to get some energy and stamina back. It's starting to feel like the long, hard winter is over for my health - just in time for Spring!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DR8561 3/25/2014 8:51AM

Thanks GEORGE815! I'm on insulin now as the oral meds didn't work for me. I still have to watch the carbs, but it's nice to know my hard work is paying off.

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    What wonderful results and news!

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GEORGE815 3/20/2014 9:28AM

    We share some things. I have separated my shoulder twice. It has been doing fine now for about 30 years. Glad to hear your diabetes numbers are improved. Are you taking oral medicine still? Keep up the good work.

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Drama, drama, and more drama.

Friday, February 21, 2014

I haven't been on Spark since November. I managed to dislocate my shoulder (in my sleep, no less) and that made for a long recovery. The Dr. prescribe physical therapy and advised me that if the shoulder goes out again it will mean surgery....and that surgery can potentially leave me with a frozen shoulder. So I have to keep up the exercises for the rest of my life.

While I was going through physical therapy for the shoulder, I was diagnosed with Diabetes (type 2). Metformin didn't work for me, so now I'm taking insulin. This has been a huge adjustment for me, but it did force me to take control of my diet. I'm sensitive to breads, pastas, rice, potatoes, and popcorn - they all spike my sugar, so I've had to use the Glycemic Index and go very low carb. Thankfully, there are some really good frozen Atkins meals which have made this a lot easier. I'm still having issues with high blood sugars in the morning. If I can work that out, I should be in pretty good shape as far as the blood sugars go. I have managed to lose almost 20 pounds but One-derland is still elusive.

Right on the heels of this diagnosis, my son and I were involved in a car wreck. A drunk driver pulled in front of us while we were going 40mph through a green light at an intersection. We all walked away with minor injuries, but the car was totaled. Now I have a new car that I like a lot better than the old one (and a shiny new car payment to go with it).

And, just because there wasn't enough drama this winter, I got sick with what I thought was the flu. My fever went up to 103, I couldn't get warm, and my blood sugar was over 300. It scared my husband, so he took me to the emergency room at 9:00 on a Sunday night. I wasn't having any symptoms other than the fever, so they ran a BUNCH of tests. Turns out I was deficient in Magnesium & Potassium and had a bad bladder infection. I wasn't really worried until they gave me a Magnesium IV and IV antibiotics. By the time the antibiotic IV was done, my fever was gone. They sent me home at 4am with potassium supplements and a 2-week supply of antibiotics.

I'm finally through with all the meds and am able to exercise again. The sun is shining and things are looking up. Hopefully, there won't be any more drama this year. Through all of this, I've felt that God is watching over me. If there is drama to come, I know He'll be there with me.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    Just as much as he was with you in while you were going through all of this, right?

Gosh! I feel my life has been very dull compared to yours. I think you had a lot of fortunate unfortunate situations. Wow!

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VONBLACKBIRD 2/21/2014 5:13PM

    WOW....sending prayers your way!!!

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