DOTTY7267   41,901
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Eventually A bright light appears!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Yesterday I spent the holiday in the hospital getting a long overdue examination. You would think with my family history, and everything that has happened within the last 2 years, I would have dedicated more time to maintaining my own health, but surprise, I havent! I think I had been procrastinating in this area due to fear that I would have something discovered that I would have to deal with. I know its crazy but sometimes you feel like the unknown is better sometimes. But since my oldest sister was admitted to the hospital because her cancer had spread to her back and the chemo was not working, I immediately scheduled my colonoscopy.

The only day that I could do it, without going through the rigors of trying to get time off during a vacation freeze, was the holiday. So, on the weekend of multiple celebrations, I participated in a cleansing process. It was all worth it because my results came out fine. I can't begin to tell you the relief I felt. 2008 has been very trying for me and my family as we struggle to deal with all the medical concerns that are upon us (some hereditary/some self inflicted). I know that 2009 will be much better - it has to be! There is always a light at the end of the tunnel (I tell myself), sometimes the tears can cause blurring of the vision.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JIBBIE49 1/20/2009 11:28AM

    You aren't alone. I read a medical article here on SPARKS and the scientists found that only 12% of people after a heart attack or cancer cure, actually CHANGED their lives. These were people who faced DEATH. So, you aren't alone.

GLAD you are here now.

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Me Today

Monday, December 29, 2008

I must admit that is has been an adventure thus far. Since having surgery I've lost quite a bit of weight, but the battle is with becoming more tone. I've also had to battle with people's need to express how "they feel" about my weight loss. It's funny (not ha!ha!) how people will state to me how they don't think I should lose anymore weight and/or that I look like I'm starving and need to eat something. What's interesting to me is that when I was heavy, no one would have nor did they ever come up to me and say "you're full" or don't you think it's time to lose weight.

I think its very interesting how people think that you have to be a certain way for them to be okay.

I've been going through many changes emotionally; dealing with things in relation to food that I did not even know was an issue. I've begun counseling which has helped me tremendously. I could not believe how much food was used as a "gap filler" for me, and now I have to deal with "things" without the escapes. I just wish I had identified these things years ago and learned to deal with them head on.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MYDIETLOG10 1/1/2009 9:02AM

    Dottie... it sounds like you are doing great! Keep up the good work and dont worry about what others think - isnt it funny that everyone else always thinks they have the answers for how we should be behaving... so glad youre in therapy - I'm sure that will help you to grow and complete this life change that you have begun in such a way as to maintain the success that you are currently experiencing!!

Way go go!!

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JIBBIE49 12/30/2008 10:10AM

    I'm glad counseling is helping. As your counselor if s/he know about the book "SHRINK YOURSELF" by ROGER GOULD, M.D. on stopping emotional eating and the yo-yo cycle. It isn't a "Diet" book at all, but WHY we use food for other than nutrition.

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Getting Back on Track

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

I'm getting back on track now. Immediately after the surgery, I was in such a rush to get back to my own sense of normal, that I caused undue pressure and stress on my body. That caused me to have to slow down and rest and heal. I have just begun to feel like myself again - truly. I'm amazed at the reactions of some of my male co-workers. I've been losing and dieting consistently since September of 2007, and yet these last few pounds have seemed to take me into another category with them, and I'm not quite sure if I like it.

It's amazing how this surgery helps you to get your mind off of food, but forces you to deal with things/emotions that the food helped to appease. Lately I have been having thoughts and remembrances of things that have happened to me years and years ago. I was depressed for a little while, because I wanted to get something to eat, but got sick, and then just had to deal with it. I'm surprised by how many things had hurt me emotionally, that I just let go of or suppressed. I understand more now how people change from this surgery in more than a physical sense. You have to grow and develop emotionally because one of your biggest crutches is gone. Today I woke up and asked myself "how long will you keep allowing people to treat you wrongly, and just accept it?" I was raised to turn the other cheek, but at what point do you realise that it's not helping them or yourself to be this way any longer.

I'm just ready to get back on track with my program. I'm just ready to be what I'm becoming. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JIBBIE49 10/22/2008 6:35PM

    Have you read the book "SHRINK YOURSELF" by ROGER GOULD, M.D.?

It is not a "diet" book, but about emotional eating and peeling away the Layers of what we have inside to deal with. I read the book and it helped me to see that food was NOT the answer when I was depressed, bored, mad, etc. etc.

Roger Gould has an interview on YouTube, if you look for him there. There is a SparkTeam to discuss his book, too.

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I'm Doing Fine

Friday, September 19, 2008

I just wanted to let everyone know that I made it successfully through my surgery. This is my first time back online since my surgery. I'm a little sore, but other than that, I'm just taking it real easy and getting my fluids in. I just wanted to keep my friends posted and show my appreciation for all the concerns and well wishes expressed to me. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MZ.THICKUMS 9/30/2008 1:25PM

    Hello There Fellow Detroiter emoticon
Glad to hear that you are doing well.. emoticon emoticon


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JIBBIE49 9/19/2008 12:07PM

    So good that all went well.

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When will it stop?!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

It has been a hectic few weeks for me. Along with the drama that has been occurring at work, I have recently been dealing with my brother David's hospitalization and progression of his lung cancer. The doctors have informed us that he cannot be operated on because he only has one lung, and due to his health he would not fare much better with surgery. They have been treating him with chemo and pain relief. To top that, on our way back from our family vacation, my sister-in-law finds out the result of her biopsy. . .and guess what? Its cancer also! She has 2 cancerous masses in her lungs.

What I just want to scream at the top of my lungs is. . .WHEN WILL YOU ALL STOP SMOKING!!!!!! It's ridiculous, how many of my family members have to be diagnosed with cancers related to smoking before they stop?! Yes, they say they are going to stop - but they said that after David got his diagnosis. I love my family, but it's like they have to love themselves more, so that they can stop. Neither of them is 50 years old, and my sister-in-law has 2 young children that could be left without a mother.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NANNAN6 9/2/2008 9:20PM

    Wow! I am so sorry to hear about the hardship you and your family is going through. I recently lost a very dear uncle to cancer and I was just heartbroken, so I really feel for you and will be keeping you and yours in my prayers.

I know what you mean about people continuing to smoke, my husband lost both of his parents to cancer at a young age but you better believe he continues to light up. I get so discouraged about it some times, but I have to continue to know that it is his choice and her won't quit until he is darn ready, I just wish he would get ready soon!

Sending your family up before the throne of God.
NanNan6 emoticon

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JIBBIE49 8/29/2008 1:36PM

    Those children will always have you. emoticon

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