Friday, September 28, 2012
This Saturday I have been invited to celebrate a birthday, at of all places, Drag Queen Bingo. We are asked to "dress up" like a drag queen as part of the festivities, and I must admit I'm a little torn about going. Last year the party was a little wild and a had my cell phone stolen at one of the stops we made. The year before was "Diva's Night" and we had to dress up and seen a female impersonator show. The dressing up was fun, but the events afterwards, not so much.
I guess it's just that I am finding myself growing farther away from what I used to do for entertainment and spending time with friends. I enjoy time with my girlfriends, but I enjoy calmness more now. I enjoy dressing up and dancing, but more to jazz and some old R&B, and some dancehall reggae.
It just seems like we are moving all in different directions. Everyone has their own agendas that they are trying to achieve, while at the same time trying to maintain friendships. It really boils down to me not wanting to go, but wanting my friend to know that I still care deeply for her and appreciate her inviting me.
Thursday, September 27, 2012
"We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action." ~Frank Tibolt
How many times have you said "I'm waiting for an inspiration to hit me"? well, if you haven't, I have said it enough for everyone. Things only began to change for me when I decided to do something. I had to get tired of where I was at mentally and physically to make a change, any change that was better than where I currently was at the time.
"Note to self: finding a cool quote and writing it in your journal is not a substitute for Getting. It. Done." ~Betsy Cañas Garmon
My 5% Challenge Team asked us to list out what halted our weight loss progress in the past. So, thinking about the difference between then and now, I realized that there were not many reasons at all. You see, when I look back over my previous attempts honestly, there is always one prevailing reason for the failures and/or missed attempts at sustaining the losses. The truth was I thought it was all physical. Yes, the reason why I could not/would not keep and maintain my loss was because I believed that it was a matter of just "doing" and "not doing". The truth was and still is that I needed to put my mind in order, so that I could recognize when and why I ate. Everyone knows that you eat to sustain life, but life sustaining amounts and what I consumed on a daily basis contradicted eachother.
I actually had to find out why so many things "didn't bother" me, as my counselor suggested. She said I understand your religious beliefs, but the things you allow to happen to you and/or are said about you, without reaction is not normal. It is okay to feel upset, disappointed in someone, distraught, etc. Those are human emotions that needs to be expressed in one form or another. The truth was I was feeling them, but they were surpressed - by food. It had gotten to the point, and I don't know how many years ago, where it became an acceptable way to "control" my emotions and actions. In church, no one speaks negatively about eating, as a matter of fact, that's a vice that most have.
When I have gotten to my highest weight ever, and my health began to reflect its mistreatment over the years, I decided to do something about it. I had surgery, after working on my own to get down the first 60 pounds to qualify. When the weight dropped, and the pain and muscle aches cessed, I was not alright. I found that my go-to emotion surpressors were not available to me and I had to deal with them. And it was hard, very hard. I realized that things really did bother me - but how was I to deal with it? I did not want to go in reverse, I wanted to keep losing and maintaining - I WASN'T GOING BACK!
I have been down 156 pounds now for 3 1/2 years. I am still not to my goal weight, but I am striving for it. I have learned what it takes to maintain my loss, and to continue to reach towards higher heights. I am now a 5% person - I received the notice from the hospital - I'm official
I'm not going to lie and say that I'm still not learning and growing and developing in my walk with my health and life in general, but I am so much further than I was 5 years ago when I got sick and tired of being sick and tired. I wonder what is food surpressing in your life? What are you using it to control and tame the beast within? I'm honest with myself now, if no one else can be, I must. I thank the team for posing this question. Without deep examination of why I slipped before, I might have said something simple like - "I really wanted some ice cream".
Friday, September 14, 2012
"God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me." ~Author unknown
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Fitting Pledge for Today!
"Today, I promise I will not quit.
I pledge that no matter, how many ups and downs I pass through, I will continue on my journey.
I pledge to make a NEW START today, and forgive myself for my past, and to stop being so critical of myself.
I pledge to take control of myself, to stop making excuses, and stop blaming other people or situations.
I pledge to treat myself as I would my best friend, because that is who I am.
I pledge to stay in the race and to be a WINNER!
signed: Leisa (Sunflowergal40) 04/26/12
Signed: Chris (chriskenandkids) 04/26/12
Signed: Linda (scoutmom715) 04/27/12
Signed: Nancy (tedybear2838) (from Linda S. Jayne (Geminisue)
Signed: Vicki aka VICKI-B--56
Signed; Pixie (Pixie-Licious)
Signed: Gloria (GloriaB73)
Signed Sarah (Millie 5522)
Signed Shelby (theshelbster)
Signed Beckie (BIRKIE528)
Signed Debaune (Doobie893)
Signed by Wallahalla on Friday, June 29, 2012
Signed by Karen (MAMAWALMART) on June 29,2012
Signed by Sibille (musolf6) Friday June 29,2012
Signed Shirley (Lookingup2012) Friday, June 29, 2012 who needs to do this because she quit SP three times in 3 years.
Signed Susan (catladyx8) Friday June 29, 2012
Signed John (Johntj1) Saturday June 30, 2012
Signed Deb (jewelle217) Saturday, June 30, 2012
Signed Kathy (Kalantha) Saturday, June 30, 2012
Signed elizabeth (MEADSBAY) Saturday June 30, 2012
Signed Caz (NEW-CAZ) Saturday June 30, 2012
Signed Julie (Shawfan) Saturday, June 30, 2012
Signed Michele (BeFit012) Saturday June 30, 2012
Signed Cheryl (Clavinova) Saturday, June 30,2012
Signed Sarah (NOTGIVINGUP49) Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Signed Bobbi (SLIMMER_197) Saturday, July 28, 2012
Signed Cherie (BIGSKYCHERIE) Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Signed Janet (EATVEGAN) Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Signed (IMAVISION) Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Signed Darlene (NANCYSINATRA) Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Signed Susan (ImSoozeeq) Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Signed Chris(CLPURNELL) Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Signed Doris (dotty7267) Thursday, September 13, 2012
Will you blog and post the Never Quit Pledge, today/soon?
Let's spread it through Sparks, so all can have the choice to commit!
Friday, September 07, 2012
This morning during my scripture reading, I came across this passage by Charles Stanley, and it really spoke to me about where I'm at right now.
"When God gives you a tough assignment, remember that as your Creator, He has designed specific tasks for you to achieve. If you refuse to obey, you'll miss what He has planned for your life. Just think what Moses would have forfeited had he said no. Too much is at stake. Trust God and go!"
That really helped me this morning when I look at where I am at right now in regards to my fitness and overall lack of motivation. I have somethings going on in my life that seem to be dominating all my energies, and I must regain composure in order that I can reach and sustain the goals I have set for myself.
Tomorrow I have to go to 2 funeral services. One for a former employee of mine who passed away from breat cancer, and she was only in her 30's. The other is for a former employee's mother. Her mother had been fighting an illness for a while, and now she is finally at peace and free of pain. I was close to both of them, which is why I am attending to show my respects. Afterwards, I am taking my godbaby to a birthday party. My boyfriend's granddaughter is turning 4 years old. I figure that gives me a pretty busy day.
I plan on going to church on Sunday, and then getting some time in in the gym. I want to do that on Saturday too, but how I'll fit in the time I don't know.
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