Saturday, November 17, 2012
"Je taime mon petit lapin," is "I love you my little rabbit" in French. Forgive spelling errors as it has been since jr. high. I taught Dh to say it when we were dating. His pronounciation was uncoordinated, goofy and very endearing.
I'm stressed. I'm SO sick of being stressed. Emotional roller coaster rides, thoughts of moving us/Dd, packing, eating/food. I'm up to 200.2 today. Yesterday, lessee, I ate: 3 or 4 pkgs of pomegranate seeds (equiv to the same number of actual fruit), Tostitos cheese dip w/Lays and Tostitos (the whole jar), choc coconut ice-cream pint, 1 lb. grass-fed beef w/romaine head (garlic). That's what I can remember. Oh, 'yes' on taking my supplements, and I had an honeycrisp apple (good one).
Today: pomegranate pkg, more cheese dip (yes, another jar) + Tostitos bite size & leftover potato chips, 2 overbaked potatoes with 2T+butter w/Redmond sea salt. The skins were crispy and I enjoyed them. No meat today. Quite filled. Not enough water - will go drink some now.
deleted text here.
200.2. I feel so AWFUL, heavy, tired, and weepy. I'm feeling sorry for myself and need to pick myself up AGAIN. So tired of overcoming crap in my life. SO TIRED OF IT! This is too intense. And this stress makes my fibro hurt (so does the wrong foods/diet). Therapist told me to get some guided imagery CDs. Here's an auditory sample of the Anger & Forgiveness one bit.ly/angerCD from www.healthjourneys.com . There's one for fibro, also. Remember when I visited Dh in FL and we rode bikes 15 miles? No Pain - it was largely due to not eating fermented foods I'm sure, but also because I WAS HAPPY. :( So fleeting ... but I did appreciate every second.
I'm going to try to find my loving hat and am going to try to love myself again starting right now by going to bed at a decent time. Maybe my love with grow with some rest.
mon petit lapin
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Yesterday I met with a dietitian who had her masters degree. I let her steer her appt with me, and it took a while going through my food history before I started getting to my current issues w/the histaminosis/histamine intolerance. I think she had a routine and the eventual story she got out of me was a surprise. She thinks I'm hard on myself and that I need to relax, which is hard to do right now. I brought some of my more current labs and she didn't think they were bad at all (except my cholesterol changed to awful says me). She thinks I should eat dairy once in a while, to treat myself. I'm so weak right now I did just that. Yesterday and today I ate some full fat Greek honey yogurt. My old friend. Big mistake. The past two nights I tried to not take my anti-histamine to sleep and I didn't sleep well at all. I was so tired for the appt. Anyway, I took some anti-histamine last night to try to catch up and it helped, but I awakened early around 4 am and just lay there thinking. I thought about my marital relationship, who I am, what I want for the rest of my life. DH is in the southern hemisphere on a 2 week business trip. It's an awkward time for us, and communication is difficult again. He'll be home for Thanksgiving wkend and go back to work out of state after that to temp housing. I'm overwhelmed with what to do with all our junk for getting the house on the market. I need to rent a POD or something to get rid of all my nutrition books. :)
When I eat dairy, I get depressed and ache so why am I listening to a dietitian who obviously doesn't understand? She thinks I'm uptight about this diet, and yeah, I am! You have to be or you get depressed and ache. So that was a reminder to not give in. She's well intended, but it's my body and I know it best.
She asked that I give up the scale ... with an open heart I said I'd do it. After having dairy, Starburst and potato chips "to relax" with food last night I was interested to see how many pounds I'd gained, but I did as asked and didn't weigh myself as usual after I go to the bathroom upon awakening. If I were to tell you how I feel upon awakening I'd say I didn't sleep well (ate too high histamine, duh) and that I ached and was stiff, my hams hurt a bit.
I ate before bed, too, ice-cream - Hagen Daz strawberry (strawberry=histamine). The day before I ate well, and the day before THAT, I ate a lot (unintended carb cycling-haha?). I lose weight when I stay true to my low-histamine. Oftentimes when I don't eat enough, I'll get a headache: because not eating is a histamine stress, too; your body likes to depend on you, likes rhythm and that word that haunts me: balance. I am still bad about making fresh protein so I get hungry, oopsy me. I was reading some other low-histaminers cook their meat from the frozen state - just pop that bird into a hot oven! After it's done cooking, freeze leftovers immediately so the histamine growth will be retarded.
When I told dietitian that I was doing Paleo she said, "Ooh, all that protein."
And I said, "What ARE you talking about? I have a serving at every meal, what's the problem?"
She didn't say much. She asked what diets I'd been on so I told her about my liquid protein fast when I was 18, then at 20 how I did 500 cals a day with American Weight Loss Systems (she'd never heard of them). Then I told her I did SAD diet but said "food pyramid" and she was so relieved. I wanted to laugh. She thinks I got a handle on things and didn't reschedule a meeting.
Here's a poke/funny at RD's on youtube "Sh!t Registered Dietitians Say": bit.ly/whatrdsays
NOTE TO SELF: YOU'RE SMART. LISTEN TO YOUR INNER VOICE. STAY LOW HISTAMINE!
Reminder: Need to check my folate and B6 level...and recheck thyroid. I'd love to get another leaky gut test to see what I'm doing to myself.
Thursday, November 01, 2012
This Cyrex test was $575 through my MD/ND, and I got results in early October and am only getting around to sharing now. It's supposed to give you an approx. 10 yr. predictive look at where antibody activity is evident to specific organs/systems in the body.
My results indicated I have antibodies to my thyroid, which isn't surprising since I have Hashimoto's, and I was also equivocal for antibodies to my liver.
From conversation with my ND I still really don't know what to do about it. Cytochrome P450 has to do with Phase I and Phase II liver detox. I told her all I've been doing is taking milk thistle practically since my CD dx in 2006 and eating as best I can when I knew better, Starburst not included; she said Starburst didn't matter.
For info re: this test I found this from an ND online: bit.ly/Txo0b3
Upon cursory online searching, the first autoimmune disease to crop up was PBC or Primary Biliary Cirrhosis. From wiki on PBC: "Primary biliary cirrhosis is considerably more common in those with gluten sensitive enteropathy than the normal population." bit.ly/RuS5HA
From Univ of MD: bit.ly/UMDPCB
From Cyrex this tests specifically for liver antibodies:
Cytochrome P450 (Hepatocyte) IgG + IgA Combined
Autoimmune Hepatitis Type 2
Chronic Hepatitis C
Cyrex pdf/pamphlet for your doctor: bit.ly/CyrexArray5
Now, I'm trying to not go STRAIGHT to an autoimmune disease in my mind or think the worst first thing. However! I think this is interesting when correlated with my Spectracell nutrients testing which indicated I was low in glutathion. Remember: my neighbor doc told me to ask my doc WHY my glutathion would be low (my doc only wanted to give me IV glutathion which has a short half-life I've read and also my neighbor doc said was true, too - it was $75/session and I managed two sessions before thinking it was too expensive for what I was getting). WELL, it's low because of my lack of liver detox capabilities. You can't actually feel it with pain or anything ... or CAN YOU?! You don't associate your pain because it's not direct pain, ie at the site of my liver. And, there's FATIGUE. I remember when I read up a lot on the liver years ago (blog entry link here______), that it was the focus of energy in our body. How do YOU feel when you've had a green smoothie? Riiight. Energetic. Your liver craves it.
Now to crave a green smoothie instead of potato chips. Maybe I should put some salt in it? We shall experiment when I get up to it.
(low-histamine sweet lettuce!)
Thursday, November 01, 2012
I sporadically checked twitter for histamine hashtags and found an interesting post from the Canadian gov't re: too much histamine in I think canned, maybe jarred, anchovies: bit.ly/RwuBhS (October 30, 2012 entry). Huh. I like that - not that I'd be eating those as I know they're high in histamines GENERALLY - but what about people who don't KNOW they have a histamine problem? Yikes.
"The Quebec Ministry of Agriculture, Fisheries and Food (MAPAQ) and Division of Food Inspection of the City of Montreal are warning the public not to consume anchovies sold by Marché Badre inc., as the histamine concentration exceeds acceptable limits due to inappropriate conservation.
See Product tab for specifics on the affected item.
The recalled product was sold unrefrigerated at Marché Badre inc. until October 3, 2012.
People who have this product in their possession are advised not to eat it and return it to the place of purchase or to throw it out.
Even if the product does not show evidence of tampering or smell spoiled, the analysis revealed the presence of histamine concentrations exceeding the maximum established limit. See Hazard tab for details.
"Associated Illness/Injury Reported: No
Illness/Injury Details: No illnesses associated with consumption of this food has been reported to date.
Hazard Description Category: Food (Biologic)
Hazard: Excess histamine
Hazard Description: Even if the product does not show evidence of tampering or smell spoiled, the analysis revealed the presence of histamine concentrations exceeding the maximum established.
Consumption, even after cooking, of foods containing high amounts of histamine can cause the following symptoms: flushing, rash, face edema, flushing, burning in the throat, itching, tingling of the skin usually accompanied by headache, heart palpitations, dizziness or nausea, stomach pain, vomiting or diarrhea.
In general, symptoms occur quickly, within a few minutes or a few hours, and then disappear spontaneously after a few hours. It is recommended to consult a doctor if symptoms persist for several days.")
The Ministry assures the public that all appropriate measures are being taken to protect the health of consumers. For more information, please contact the Quebec Centre for Food Inspection and Animal Health, by calling 800-463-5023."
Another hashtag mentioned that hyenas are mammals with the highest level of DAO (diamine oxidase) the enzyme most responsible for metabolizing histamine; makes sense as they eat rotting carcass.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Since I've been eating histamine foods, my body is reacting: pain, stiffness, achiness. It's a slow climb out of this hole thus far. I haven't had Starburst for a good three days though - YAY! I STILL think about it daily - BOO! Haven't had chips for way longer - YAY!
Have I mentioned how the past two years I've been growing more, shall we say, amorous? Since the low-histamine, more yet again; probably because I wasn't in pain 24/7 or esp after exercise. That sense of freedom was pure BLISS. Ahhh.
I mention it because of the irony of his affair. How I missed, yearned and ached for him. Miss Julie, therapist, says to think forward, not backward, but still I find myself at odd times bursting into tears at the whole thing. He has no answers but that he was a shell of a man. The new work environment was eating him alive not having mentorship or feedback and so much change in his position since hiring. They expected him to know three other foreign departments, travel, blah blah. He was learning new language, learning new people and culture. He was lost. This chick comes in and flirts up a storm telling him he needed a girlfriend. She was a diversion from reality cause reality was too hard. She drank a lot, and he felt free to drink, too (I'm not a drinker - what a social dud). She also ate a lot of cheese and was constipated and had all sorts of gut issues. I laugh when he tells me he tried to tell her about going gluten-free and how she says, "huh?" Good luck with that I thought, but really I wish more ill on her and her salacious ways. She's living with a guy with a heart condition and she doesn't like he's bald. She's using him as he builds her a basement (he's a carpenter). She's also supposed to marry him sometime soon, and this'll be good as she still is raising a daughter who needs a father-like figure. This'll be her third marriage, who knows how many other men she's been with (he said there've been many). She met her current live-in on Match dot com. Hmm, Dh had that site on his computer cookies. I think of how rude he was to me and how now he doesn't know what I'm talking about. He plays kissy kissy flirty with me and sometimes I so don't care. I bring up his "f-buddy" and he gets sick and hates it because he hates that period of his life and why don't I just forget it? I wish I could. *sigh* Please radio, tv: no more Taylor Swift songs. That girl is EVERYWHERE. Dh has never been one to wear his wedding ring and all these 31 yrs I never gave a lick of a care. Is that a saying? LOL. I asked him to wear it and he's trying. It's uncomfortable for him, but he's making an effort.
I kept talking about the Don Wms concert out of state where we'd also visit his sis who is going through her own d-vorce. I wavered on going, but I purchased the tickets last visit in Northern Land w/Dh a couple of days before I found about the affiar. After talking w/Miss Julie we decided to go anyway. "Don't let evil win," was Miss Julie's thought. Then we decided against as he had some work/legal thing he promised he'd finish from his original job. We were going to overnight the tickets back to SIL when she then told us that it was cancelled due to Don's illness. Great, we get our money back. We'll be needing it since the severance pkg won't last forever. Every bit helps.
He's been hunting for a job, and having him home 24/7 after not having him home for so long has been HEAVY. In some ways I need a break already! And in some ways I like having him around. I try to get him out of the house daily because even with his depression he likes to be busy (which isn't a healthy thing, it's a running away thing). I've been not having mani/pedi's, not ordering books and supplements on amazon, not shopping again. I'm more used to that as I've had far many more years of fiscal restraint than otherwise. We had a sense of relief with the last job and found out the hard way that money isn't everything (he thought it'd be worth it and now knows it wasn't). We still have bills and I yearn for financial freedom.
With that said, he was offered another job paying $25k less/year but in another state with lower cost of living. There'll be other bennies and maybe a future. He won't be boss to hundreds which will be different for him, and he'll be traveling to far-reaching world-wide places. They want him to start in a couple of weeks. I'm going to try to take my recliner to my dad in Vegas. The recliner is a symbol of my illness and wanting to rest. I paid $2000 for it so I could rock and rest like an old woman before I realized I had celiac, and I've always hated it and what it represented (never order something you haven't seen in person - the leather I got was HARD, not soft, like the one on the showroom floor - and no, I couldn't return it!). Dad'll appreciate it as his LaZboy is falling apart.
Moving. It's time to clean the house again.
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