Tuesday, April 26, 2011
...our home and native land.
Unfortunately, this native land is my gut. When I had my Genova food allergy testing last year, it suggested that I had low candida symptoms. Naturopathic MD said to disregard, that everyone does (? I think she inferred as much?). But you know me, I kept it in the back of my mind.
You know you have an addiction to a food if you don't want to give it up. I have not wanted to give up fruit for a couple of years now. I am desperate to move on, and will now try. After my next meal - LOL. I love mangos. *sigh* - HIGH sugar fruit! I love bananas. I love berries. I don't love apples. You can have 'em. I love watermelon.
DH is in town, so we're going out tonight for our . I got my nails done which makes me feel good; the new shellac nail paint that lasts up to 3 wks (it's likey toxic - boo). The nail technician has fibro, too, and psoriatic arthritis. When I asked her what she was doing, she went on about how grateful she was for Lyrica. She can stand again. She asked me what I'm doing, and she got an earful of diet recommendations and gut/bacteria talk. By the end of the appt. she pretty much said she wasn't gonna be told what to eat, that she LOVES her diet Dr. Pepper. She's a "trained" nurse. In essense, she didn't believe me! It always fascinates me, people and their unhealthy skepticism. Drugs affect your gut terrain/bacteria balance. But, I'm not wrapped up in her life. I can't sway my own family, sooo.... oh well. Maybe when the Lyrica stops working she'll remember something about diet. I left her with the 7 Foods to Avoid for Fibro link.
And now I must face my own addiction to fruit sugar. I don't want to give them up. I think if I look at it as a temporary situation, it'll be easier (cause it WILL be temporary darn it). I have to also forego balsamic vinegar (LOVE LOVE it), and vinegars in general (maybe not apple cider vinegar I've read). No fermented foods on candida diets. I'll post more about it when I actually start. I don't want to change my diet until after testing.
I am in the process of getting Cyrex Labs' Intestinal Permeability Test kit to compare to my previous Genova urine lactulose-mannitol tests, and looking into getting a Metametrix stool test kit for candida ( bit.ly/metametrixstool ).
Articles to ponder re: candida (I do not advocate for any Rx on these sites if there are some. I haven't tried anything yet, so cannot do so):
candida and celiac: nyti.ms/afD5Hb
celiac disease fibromyalgia candida hashimoto's: bit.ly/fcJxwV
Denver Naturopathic: bit.ly/igMY2S
candida fibromyalgia: bit.ly/e3HqE5
good candida article: bit.ly/eJOWyv
healing naturally by bee: bit.ly/fRaJDU (oh look, gluten-free is on the candida diet - it wasn't when I started gf diet and used to share this link!)
bee's yahoo group: health.groups.yahoo.com/group
article re: failsafe diet (on my SP page), or anti-chemical diet instead of anti-candida: autoimmunethyroid.wordpress.c
My thyroid has had me in the dumpidty dumps, so I've not been very communicative. I am slowly coming out of it. I joggled the other day a heart-pounding 12 min mile for I don't know how long, about 15 mins. on the treadmill. I remember when I was felt so proud of bettering my time from an 18 min mile to a 17. I can joggle a bit at a 13-14 min mile on the road. The treadmill is easier.
I also started some upper body weight lifting. I felt great for two days, then bam, the soreness set in from both the run and weights. It seems to linger longer because of the fibro, but it didn't hit as soon this time. I'm unsure that's progress at this point, just making note of it.
I must go kiss on my man while I have him to kiss. Don't take your loved ones for granted.
Kisses to you all, too, because I don't take you for granted, either.
Monday, March 28, 2011
The Doctors Part I:
After I was diagnosed with celiac I thought a lot about how many doctors I'd seen for my seemingly unrelated symptoms.
As a child I saw doctors for recurring sore throats which ended with my tonsils being removed. Mom thought I had the sore throats because I sucked my thumb from baby til the age of about 12. But the thumb sucking and trichotillomania were symptoms of anxiety and imbalanced neurotransmitters.
I saw numerous dentists for my amalgam fillings, root canals, and crowns. Current dentist says keep doing what I'm doing as the hygienist barely scrapes anything off my teeth. I have retained baby teeth and I'm all about holding on to those baby roots for dear life! I cannot afford new teeth/implants which are at least $2-3k each.
Even though I had recurrent laryngitis and bronchitis as a tween, teen and adult, I just rolled through it, except for one particularly bad bout w/walking pneumonia/antibiotics. I coughed for about 8 months after ... otherwise, no docs.
Before I got married I had to see a gyno for the first time so I could get the pill (I was scared to death!). He told me I was obese (at 180 lbs) and told me about patients who had lost 100 lbs., that I could do it. Find bread w/more fiber he said. I don't even remember his name, or I'd send him quite a letter. :P I went to Amer. Weight Loss Systems, ate 500 cals a day, and lost 40 lbs before the wedding. (Speaking of 500 cals a day: what crock the HcG diet is, right? I mean, my current nutritionist, for whom I had high regard, recommended it to me - said I wouldn't be hungry. He went down a few notches in my book. I could very easily eat 500 calories a day and not be hungry, no problem, but my experience tells me that starvation is not healthy - duh! Been there, done that, yada. You only gain the weight back.)
I spent a lifetime crying about my weight and body image. (Another tangent: Funny story: I had reached my last straw and decided to write Richard Simmons when we moved to LA. He and Oprah were my tv friends. LOL Change is hard for me and I was very, very depressed; desperate for understanding. I wrote out pages of my life w/pictures and an S.O.S. for my life. I waited with baited breath ... I thought he'd take pity on me, take me up in his sweet loving arms and hug me better: encourage and motivate me. I held my breath for a ray of sunshine, some hope!
... a week later I got the package returned from the P.O. for insufficient postage.
wah-waah. I was devastated. LOL. Since my diagnosis I know now the source of my depression, but can't help but think of all the wasted time in my life crying and being off the correct health pathway!)
Okay, back to the story: fast forward to having been married eight years, we've moved, bought our first home, our first dogs (Bert and Ernie, the apricot poodles - such joy), and now getting pregnant. I have to find another gyno. He's a good lookin' guy, married and has at least 7 kids I hear. All the neighbors go to him. But why do I have to take 2 hr naps in the middle of the day to get through the day, doc? He checked me for diabetes, and nope, that was the end of it. C-section on Apr 7, 1989. I just lay there, my body not getting into childbirth, much like my numb skull. When the nurse put her before my head, I didn't know what to think except, um, Hairy! Much more hair than I expected. Oh? Kiss her! That's what the nurse was saying. I was choked up and shed some tears at how cool it was to make a human being. Life is A-mazing.
Bones and muscles were hurting, head's numb/foggy, craved ice-cream, got my first and only yeast infection, moved like a SLOTH (undiagnosed thyroid!), HIGH anxiety, miserable, sleepless and tired. Baby is hungry every two hours, colicky and vomits when she cries too much, much to my chagrin in the middle of the night. Clean baby, bedding, dog cleans carpet before I can too many times. Ernie also liked used diapers and could fenagle them out of the trickiest trash can. (Bert'd died, but that's another blog I'll never get to.)
I was on a path of ill health, but pregnancy, childbirth, and subsequent lack of sleep really got the ball rolling.
There are a lot more doctors between childbirth in 1989 to 2006, but I'll save that for another blog entry.
So after my CD diagnosis in 2006, I wanted to write all my doctors to create awareness about CD. I was too tired, so I called them and left messages. Not as lasting - oh well. I am more friends with a Friend of the 2nd OB, but am friendly with doc's wife. I told Friend how it was a tragic missed opportunity my CD wasn't caught earlier with doc since I rarely went to docs; how my life might have been better, sooner. This OB went on to make a lot of money and live very well for his hard work, but like any of us, he only knows what he knows. I'm sure my info wouldn't have been received as seriously as I intended. Friend doesn't understand is my guess.
At some point I asked Friend about how their family was doing, and come to find out he was diagnosed with ALS or Lou Gehrig's disease. It's a death sentence. You know me :), I googled, and sure enough there was a guy out there with an obscure, personal website who thought gluten-free diet was helping his ALS. I hurried this info to Friend to send to doc's wife, because I know sometimes brain lesions are caused by gluten (mentioning MS patients). Doc/wife were in Germany seeking alternative treatments at that time. I kept asking her to send it on, but I don't know that she ever did. People are skeptical, I understand, but argh ... trust me!
There is more research coming out NOW, but it's too late as he's dead. It's a shame to the community and his family. He was a good father and man. Usually it's the mom who is the center of the family, but in this family it was him. Doc's wife is still devasted and broken. My last visit back to that town, I ran into his brother and held my breath not talking, as I usually do.
More info from The Celiac Nurse: bit.ly/hJZ1B7 , and of course, you can google more references. They're out there. A ketogenic diet often used for epilepsy is supposed to help also. No gluten, no sugars. Bits and Pieces:
I remember when I was excited about almost reaching 200! I am almost to 180-ville!!!!
Monday, March 21, 2011
Just finished 12 hrs of spring yard clean up. The tulips are coming, the tulips are coming! Too bad I can't spread out my fitness minutes - LOL. My fibro hamstrings are yelling at me (bajillion bends).
I was so tired and hungry in the end, but neighbor's dog ... she's a spazz lab a couple of years old, and sweet. I tried walking her home, but: empty house (they're in the middle of moving, and live somewhere else. I expect them to return, but who knows when). I was too tired to walk, but the dogs don't care. Walk we did.
I have a friend who LOVES Will Ferrell. She plasters his cut out pictures on her closet door so when she dresses she starts her day with a laugh and a giggle. He makes me laugh, too, even though many of his movies are very so-so (he's so bizzare in a good way).
Along those lines, I share with you something I think is humorous. Do you agree/disagree? bit.ly/egpVHJ
My internal GPS steered me well today because I was busy busy. :)
Just a short entry for a surprise - LOL. .
Friday, March 18, 2011
I like to write about stuff I learn (as if you didn't know). I don't even write a tenth of what I've read; and I don't remember the other eight-tenths - lol. I share my blog with my family for the most part, so when I get to see them, they have an idea why I eat so "freaky" (I tell them to look in the mirror).
Being around me now, though, they, and I notice with friends, too, are self-conscious about their own choices around me. I don't want to be the person you're afraid to eat around - aack! How un-fun is THAT?!
OTOH, I have friends with ADD kids and other obvious-to-me food allergy symptoms (runny noses, bright red ears, black eyes, fatigue, pimples, bed-wetting), who bring it up, but ultimately don't want to change. This is SO hard for me, and it's something I have to learn to let go. It's up and down, and I try, really. I think it's my ego, because I so want to make a difference SOMEWHERE. I need to find an outlet, LOL.
For years before my diagnosis I slowly stopped being as social as I once was when I was healthier -scratch that, make that YOUNGER and healthier. When you're tired/sore you slowly chink away the "normal" life and, before you know it, the changes change YOU. You're okay being alone as it's less complicated, takes less energy. I never liked getting worked up in personal drama anyway (as I have a history of such w/family drama). I either never went through their BS, or have, and need to move on because it sucks up what little energy I have. Don't get me wrong, I care about my friends and family, sometimes too much. I'm likely co-dependent and that's likely because I felt like a little adult as a kid, having to grow up quickly. I'm a problem-solver-type. Not everyone wants you to solve their problem, they want you to listen. But I listen, I secretly problem-solve and it drains me!
I sure missed feeling connected with the universe via friendships. Because I moved a lot as a kid and then again as an adult, I learned to keep some distance, too. I've made some wonderful friends through my moves, but it's never the same of course. I miss having a girlfriend to do stuff with at the drop of a hat. I miss running over to her house to help her clean or rearrange something, make something, chat over tea and crumpets so-to-speak: Gab. I miss the time spent w/hobbies (I know: SP's my hobby now!). I took the long walk on the Green Mile to Upstairs (wooo-oooo - Dd does NOT like me in her universe, and I do not like her universe, so I usually oblige). I went up to visit the spare room and ignored her universe. I dusted off my old rubber stamps and papers, and it felt good to be there. I associate it w/stress relief. I felt some creative juices stirring up which brought back good memories w/lots of gabbing women and drama.
I'd recently moved to my current home and was, BAM, dx w/celiac. No family, no friends and though more encouraging than a cancer dx, I had the energy of someone on chemo. You know who became my friends? SparkPEOPLE! OMG, to find people who understood the transition of going gluten-free was truly comforting. I went to celiac.com and thought they were way over my head ... all those signature lines about their food allergies and diagnoses - ack! I could not relate (I was pretty fuzzy-headed back then, too). Now I get them, and I are one of those people. LOL.
Dd used to tell me to get off the computer, I was becoming an "obese shut-in" ...we still laugh that I am. But it's not funny any more. While the online world is at my fingertips whenever I need a virtual hug or encouragement, I need more connection with the outside world. I feel as though my life's been on hold for 3+ years since DH left for work in another state. The emotional ups and downs of retirement job hunting is getting old while we wait to move on. Most of my focus during this time has been on getting well. I think the stress of moving again would have really stunted my healing. What a luxury to do this, I know. I am so grateful!
I need to but am scared to go back to work. Scared of the energy output - can I handle 8+ hrs? I know people w/fibro work, but many are on drugs to help them cope, and at what health expense? Can I even find a job?! My resume is OLD! I'm outta date, but I can type :). I'm reliable :). So many thoughts on that front.
The "nose skin cancer" mystery has been solved (Blue, this ia link to that blog - lol bit.ly/dXYXGe ): The PEELING skin from an underactive thyroid! It was a "tell" that my thyroid was going under, but I didn't realize it at the time. As often as I've gone through dips in thyroid function, you'd think I recognize it (PEELING skin is a new symptom, dry skin is not).
A friend invited me to the annual Dillards dinner. I ate a very good sirloin, and had to share the steamed asparagus and carrots. LOL. They served family style which was scarey cause people were passing their crumbly dry rolls to each other over my plate so I had to speak up to those sitting on either side about cross-contamination of gluten falling onto my dry salad (cause apparently the lemon wedge & olive oil I ordered was too much to ask. No special orders says the banquet nazi - LOL - there I am being freaky again). Anyway, I had to pick out only three spears of each veg when I wanted to take the whole plate (I needed the calories). LOL. I asked for asparagus seconds and took 1/2 the plate - people were staring at me. I thought to myself, "Go ahead. Eat your scalloped potatoes, cheesy rice pilaf, chocolate cake or cheesecake, wine or mixed drink/soda calories/nutrition..." and leave me with my asparagus calories/nutrition. I'm great with that.
Another guest worked for a steakhouse restaurant, and ordered a special vegetarian meal (I was the only one in 200 guests with a gluten-free meal/steak. I thought to myself knowing at LEAST 1 in 100 have CD - let alone stats for gluten sensitivity, esp after age 50 -, that there was an undiagnosed person amongst us, and I wanted to find him/her! LOL). Anyway, his plate was plum pitiful: a few zuchinni topped with tomato, maybe some peppers and melted cheese or sauce? He needed more calories for sure. Wait. Oh good. He had some cake and shared his wife's cheesecake. :P (Not that I was keeping tabs of HIS calories, right? ar ar, but I am so curious - and Tam, I did not pry!!)
I lost a pound that night. Thanks Dillards (they owed me). LOL. Oh, and I wore a sparkly black skirt and felt feminine. It was fun to get out and get dressed up.
Went to the cardiologist for a recheck on the ticker. We're monitoring how the new thyroid meds work, and I'll go back in a couple of months. I'll get cholesterol checked then. Thyroid so affects cholesterol. I asked for a VAP to see if I'm making some good, fluffy LDL.
DH started more Paleo eating, or so he says, as I'm not there. He got his cholesterol levels back and they're worse than he'd like or worse than last time. TC: 215, HDL 42 down from 50 something, LDL 142? Can't remember. He was devastated and ticked! I asked him what was he eating, as he's notorious for easily sliding off plan for small reasons (according to me). All those "Just this once" add up. Well, for one thing, I bet he's in transition mode in his mind. Probably the week or two before his blood draw he did VERY well/was conscientious and therefore thought he deserved a better cholesterol reward. I've been "kinda, mostly" paleo or transitioning outta dairy for about four years, so I feel his pain. You always think your changes should have significant or more impact than they do, and pronto! Change IS hard, and there's a learning curve. I told him to not panic and continue changing it up for the better.
Doctors always tell him to exercise, which is hysterical cause I've never known him not to. He rolls his eyes at the doc. He probably exercises too much, which raises cortisol. He already has a stressful job ... Anyway, I say, let's revisit diet then, okay? ;0) He has been eating Premier bars with soy, whey, peanuts (not paleo) ( bit.ly/guA8He ). I say, what about jerky, an apple, a banana? He's not a big fruit eater. He's going to try to do "different", so we'll see.
honey! You're amazing! *love*
My Jenny's paw has an infection from unknown origin. I've been weeks going back and forth to the vet for different treatments including antibiotics, wraps, silver. It's very concerning as he's mentioned taking off her toe. :( It seems to be spreading, and I'm hoping to get it cultured next visit.
Musti's arthritis seems to be worsening as he lays down on the way to the water bowl. For both of them I have slowed down and shortened our walks. He needs to move, too, though. His liver is fine, so I have conceded to some new fangled arthritis medication. At his age, 12, it's about palliative care. I pick it up next week when I take in Jen again.
I finally hit the 80 lbs lost mark yesterday!
It seems I do well juicing w/protein powders a few of my meals now and then (like when groceries get too low and you want to see how long you can purge the fridge/pantry). I prefer real protein, but ... this must be easier to digest, as it certainly is not caloric. I had a few weeks of "intense for me" exercise in that I joggled a coupla 5Ks "in a row" (HUGE) and then 1.5 miles, etc. My fibro legs were pretty good actually! I do not have the striated muscle pain at all, only a 'slight' what I call wet balloon tight feeling - so best ever feeling esp after joggling! YaY! I tried explaining my fibro legs to the cardiologist; about how I had pain so bad my CK (creatinine kinase) was raised. He said "everyone's" goes high. I don't believe this. I'll run one day, and it'll be without pain! I will show him in the end.
I did not lose weight at all from joggling, only seemed to fatigue me in the long run, so I've learned to keep it on the down-low as it were. I don't want to spazz out and overly fatigue my bad self. :)
I bought a groupon for a cross-fit gym (have I mentioned that before?). The coupon doesn't expire til June or July. I don't think I'm ready, so I'm thinking of finding a Curves to ease my muscles into some sort of different action. Where's THAT groupon when I need it?! lol I'll ask if they have complimentary sessions to see how I do. I really need to work on my muscle strength, being more active - and I'll be around women so I can gab :).
Much love to those who stop by to share this journey. That's all she wrote!
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