Monday, January 04, 2010
Two sisters, one blond and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.
In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.
The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale. Upon leaving, she tells her sister, “When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I’ll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.”
The brunette arrives at the man’s ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less.
After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, “I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I’ve bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pick-up truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.”
The telegraph operator explains that he’ll be glad to help her, then adds, “It’s just 99 cents a word.” Well, with only $1 left after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she’ll only be able to send her sister one word.
After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, “I want you to send her the word, ‘comfortable.’”
The telegraph operator shakes his head. “How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pick-up truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, ‘comfortable?’”
The brunette explains, “My sister’s blond. She’ll read it slow.”
Thursday, December 31, 2009
New Year’s Resolutions
Each year I resolve with the strongest intent
To be better this year than the last.
And I work very hard; the rules hardly get bent,
But this discipline gets old so fast!
But with this new year I just know I’ll win out,
Just watch how I do and you’ll see!
I’m not going to have yet another blowout;
I’ll be good as I know I can be.
But, if wicked things beckon, and I’m not so strong,
If I weaken and fall on my ast,
I’ll be thankful again that you’ll help me along
As you have during all new years past.
I’m so grateful that you’re my Spark Friend! Happy New Year!
By Karl and Joanna Fuchs
Saturday, December 26, 2009
‘Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house,
every creature was hurtin, even the mouse.
The toys were all broken, their batteries dead:
Santa passed out, with some ice on his head.
Wrapping & ribbons just covered the floor,
while upstairs the family continued to snore.
And I in my t-shirt, new reeboks & jeans,
went into the kitchen & started to clean.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the sink to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
tore open the curtains & threw up the sash.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
but a little white truck, with an oversized mirror.
The driver was smiling, so lively & grand;
the patch on his jacket said “U. S. Postman.”
With a handful of bills, he grinned like a fox.
Then quickly stuffed them into our mailbox.
Bill after bill, after bill, they still came.
Whistling & shouting he call them by name:
“Now Dillard’s, now Broadway’s, now Penny’s & Sears.
Here’ Robinson’s, Levitz’s & Target’s & Mervyn’s
To the tip of your limit, every store, every mall,
now chargeaway-chargeaway-chargeway all!”
He whopped & he whistled as he finished his work,
he filled up the box, & then turned with a jerk.
He sprang to his truck & he drove down the road,
driving much faster with half of a load.
Then I heard him exclaim with great holiday cheer,
“Enjoy what you bought… you’ll be paying all year!”
Merry Day After Christmas & A Very Happy New Year!!
Friday, December 25, 2009
Sweet Baby Jesus
Sweet Baby, Jesus, gentle and mild
Born in a manger, sweet, Holy, Child,
Shepherds and Wise Men came from afar,
Seeking a Savior, they followed a star,
Sweet Baby, Jesus, sent from above,
Son of our Father gift of God's love,
In realms of glory, angels did sing
Heavens rejoiced as they welcomed a King.
Sweet Baby, Jesus, Mary's sweet Child,
Light of our life, sweet Babe so mild,
There in a manger, Thou art adored,
Jesus, we greet Thee, our Savior, our Lord.
Sweet Baby, Jesus, send peace to earth,
Lift up all hearts through Thy holy birth.
Now at Thy crib, as evening draws nigh,
Hear this our praises from earth to the skies.
Christmas Poem Sweet Baby Jesus
poem by © Edna Massimilla.
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