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The Blond and the Bull Joke

Monday, January 04, 2010

Two sisters, one blond and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.

In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.

The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale. Upon leaving, she tells her sister, “When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I’ll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.”

The brunette arrives at the man’s ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less.

After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, “I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I’ve bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pick-up truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.”

The telegraph operator explains that he’ll be glad to help her, then adds, “It’s just 99 cents a word.” Well, with only $1 left after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she’ll only be able to send her sister one word.

After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, “I want you to send her the word, ‘comfortable.’”

The telegraph operator shakes his head. “How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pick-up truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, ‘comfortable?’”

The brunette explains, “My sister’s blond. She’ll read it slow.”

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHARONLS7203 1/7/2010 12:31PM

    Too funny Thanks Dory!

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SWEETZMIX 1/5/2010 3:11PM

    Funny Joke!

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CLAIRESML 1/5/2010 8:50AM

    okay I'm blonde and I loved this!

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UNSTOPPABLE_ 1/5/2010 2:19AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticonI love Blonde jokes & this was GREAT!!!

Still laughing

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New Year’s Resolutions Poem

Thursday, December 31, 2009


New Year’s Resolutions


Each year I resolve with the strongest intent
To be better this year than the last.
And I work very hard; the rules hardly get bent,
But this discipline gets old so fast!

But with this new year I just know I’ll win out,
Just watch how I do and you’ll see!
I’m not going to have yet another blowout;
I’ll be good as I know I can be.

But, if wicked things beckon, and I’m not so strong,
If I weaken and fall on my ast,
I’ll be thankful again that you’ll help me along
As you have during all new years past.

I’m so grateful that you’re my Spark Friend! Happy New Year!


By Karl and Joanna Fuchs

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KTBETH78 12/31/2009 2:40PM

  Very cute poem!

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BLUEANGELLK 12/31/2009 2:37PM

    Really Nice!!!
That should be the SP motto!!!

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Exercise! ~ Funny Poem!!

Sunday, December 27, 2009

EXERCISE!

Every day I am bombarded
In each direction that I turn
By those who claim that EXERCISE
Causes flab to crash and burn!

I did jumping jacks and sit ups
Went out and bought that darn machine
The one that guarantees in 30 days
I'd be trim and fit and lean...

I put it in the extra room
That we affectionately call the "gym"
With all the other paraphenalia
That will one day make me slim!

Ab mats for doing crunches
A small tramp to run in place
That awful, go-nowhere pedaling bike
That only leaves me red of face!

I have workout clothes and sweat bands
Even a "get-fit" coffee cup!
But that scale hasn't budged an inch
So, I'm on the verge of giving up!

I've just about convinced myself
That it's true what some folks say...
You have heard it too......Eat Right!
Get Fit? Die anyway!!

So for those who are devoted
To trying to make me over, PLEASE!
If God wanted me to touch my toes
He would have put them on my knees!

I believe He loves us as we are
That includes both big AND small
So when I reach the gates of Heaven
It will be with flab and all!

Copyright; Dusty Tincher

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARLEY415 12/29/2009 5:31PM

    I like the poem, but I am still hoping to be batter and bruised and my life used up before I see Him, and a little skinnier, maybe some abs and muscles too. emoticon

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`Twas the Day After Christmas

Saturday, December 26, 2009

‘Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house,
every creature was hurtin, even the mouse.
The toys were all broken, their batteries dead:
Santa passed out, with some ice on his head.
Wrapping & ribbons just covered the floor,
while upstairs the family continued to snore.
And I in my t-shirt, new reeboks & jeans,
went into the kitchen & started to clean.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the sink to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
tore open the curtains & threw up the sash.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
but a little white truck, with an oversized mirror.
The driver was smiling, so lively & grand;
the patch on his jacket said “U. S. Postman.”

With a handful of bills, he grinned like a fox.
Then quickly stuffed them into our mailbox.
Bill after bill, after bill, they still came.
Whistling & shouting he call them by name:

“Now Dillard’s, now Broadway’s, now Penny’s & Sears.
Here’ Robinson’s, Levitz’s & Target’s & Mervyn’s
To the tip of your limit, every store, every mall,
now chargeaway-chargeaway-chargeway all!”

He whopped & he whistled as he finished his work,
he filled up the box, & then turned with a jerk.
He sprang to his truck & he drove down the road,
driving much faster with half of a load.

Then I heard him exclaim with great holiday cheer,
“Enjoy what you bought… you’ll be paying all year!”
Merry Day After Christmas & A Very Happy New Year!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NASCAR_CHICK 12/26/2009 10:23PM

    This is very cute... thanks for sharing!

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Christmas Poem Sweet Baby Jesus

Friday, December 25, 2009

Christmas Poem
Sweet Baby Jesus


Sweet Baby, Jesus, gentle and mild
Born in a manger, sweet, Holy, Child,
Shepherds and Wise Men came from afar,
Seeking a Savior, they followed a star,

Sweet Baby, Jesus, sent from above,
Son of our Father gift of God's love,
In realms of glory, angels did sing
Heavens rejoiced as they welcomed a King.

Sweet Baby, Jesus, Mary's sweet Child,
Light of our life, sweet Babe so mild,
There in a manger, Thou art adored,
Jesus, we greet Thee, our Savior, our Lord.

Sweet Baby, Jesus, send peace to earth,
Lift up all hearts through Thy holy birth.
Now at Thy crib, as evening draws nigh,
Hear this our praises from earth to the skies.

Christmas Poem Sweet Baby Jesus
poem by © Edna Massimilla.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARLEY415 12/26/2009 8:05PM

    I liked this poem. It is very sweet


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CORIANNE72 12/25/2009 7:25PM

    Thank you for sharing this poem! I loved it! Merry Christmas!

Cori

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