Friday, December 31, 2010
... because I lost 7 lbs in the last couple of months. I've been stressed out, under attack, losing sleep. Through it all, I've focused on what I eat, cooking fresh vegetables, whole grain breads, fruit, etc. There have been compulsive days, and there have been sugar craving days, and I thought I was not doing such a hot job on treating my body with respect and honoring the earth.
The last time I thought I was not being kind to myself, I discovered I had lost 5 lbs.
My total weight loss in 2010 is 21 lbs, and since I joined Sparkpeople.com. I resolve to double that amount in 2011, and I give my Self 12 months to lose 42 lbs. I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.
Thursday, December 09, 2010
I released the rabbit last Sunday at 0830. None too soon; a wild creature in captivity will go through depression, and eventually die. The rabbit had started spending more and more time quietly in the hiding box, and eating less, and it was time.
I found a spot within 1/2 mile of where I found it, slogged in as far as I could, and then set the box down. The rabbit stayed still for a minute or two, and then hopped out.
That was all it took! I stayed for another 5 minutes, watching the rabbit work its way deeper and deeper into the woods, until I could no longer track its progress, and then came home. Surprisingly, I felt a little lost and a lot sad. I guess you can't take care of anyone without caring for them a wee bit. As much as I tried to keep my domesticity separate from the rabbit's wildness, my sappy human nature wouldn't let the emotional part keep separate.
And I'm not sorry for that.
Thursday, December 02, 2010
The little rabbit is still with me. No broken bones, no internal injuries. It has a great appetite (!), is active, and chomping at the bit to get back to where it belongs - out in the wild. The vet did a thorough exam and what I thought was a misplaced tail was actually a chunk of fur that had been scraped off, so the rabbit has a wee bald spot on its behind.
I was given the numbers of several wildlife rescue groups, and there was a rabbit expert who told me not to release the rabbit until I see fur growing back. If it goes now, the freezing cold can kill it through that bald spot, since (I have now been educated) the fur is an animal's first defense against the elements. A chink in the armor can spell a death sentence. Not only that, but there is a weather front moving in over the next few days, and it would be wiser for me to wait until it blows through and the temps go up a bit. I hope to have this rabbit "home" by Sunday.
Meanwhile, it feasts on oats, spinach, lettuce, apple and sweet potato, and I bought a little tub of wheatgrass that has been all but demolished in two days. A little bit of fat won't hurt, and can help it survive a day or two of reorientation. I set up a dog kennel with a shelter box inside, and while it faces the sliding glass door, I have the slots all covered so that the dogs and the rabbit do not interact. The lady said that it's okay for the rabbit to hear them because it hears predators all the time, but the important thing is to keep everyone separated so it doesn't think that the next dog won't kill it.
My biggest fear was that the rabbit would forget who it is, and I was assured that the wild is in its dna, and I can even show it that humans have the capacity to help, but I'm not really wanting to go that far.
I'm grateful for the positive and loving responses I received to the original blog post. Sometimes, we do things without thinking too much on them, and it comes as a flash of inspiration once in a while that life does indeed parallel life. In its own quiet way, the experience I'm living with this rabbit has shown me a picture of my life, and it's a pretty darned nice picture.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
I was on my way home around midnight last night, after a late callback. I was tired, and it took a few seconds for my brain to process that I had just passed by a creature struggling in the opposite lane. I turned around and inched along until I found it again - a young rabbit that had been knocked silly by a vehicle, and it looked like it had gotten stuck to the ice. I scooped it up and brought it home and tucked it into the laundry basket with a towel, some water, and a cover so it would feel safe.
By morning, it was up and exploring its prison, and I thought it might be okay to take it back to where I found it and release it. At work, one of the nurses suggested that I don't do it for at least another day, just to make sure the rabbit is okay. So naturally I've been noticing things: the cotton-ball tail is not centered in the behind, and one hind leg seems to want to just jut out. I suspect a pelvic fracture. Okay... we'll see the vet tomorrow and see what can be done. It's illegal for me to care for this rabbit but I will do my best to find a licensed wildlife rehab person to adopt this orphan. I have the feeling that bed rest will be the doctor's prescription, and of course this rabbit may never be able to go back to its wild roots.
I think a lot of us are orphaned in some way, even if our biological families may still be living. I think that those of use who suffer from some sort of dysfunctional beginnings are saved by those who go against the rules and scoop us up off that icy road to which we are stuck, and find out how to care for us back to some semblance of health. We may never be able to return to our roots, but then again, we might not want to, and it mightn't be a good idea anyway.
So life will hand us lemons, and we can make lemon bars. Or we can let them rot and complain that they're no good.
This rabbit struggled to live, and I recognized its desire, so I will do what is in my power to do for this small creature.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
I'm going to eat whatever feels good to eat today. The food I'm bringing to the Thanksgiving table has not one calorie of low-fat, non-fat, sugar-free, low-sodium anything. I'll be bringing sweet potato and pecan pies, vegetarian dressing (butter and olive oil combination to saute the onion and celery), devilled eggs, and the best fresh cranberry relish ever. There'll be turkey, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, sauteed brussels sprouts, yams, and rolls.
I am grateful to be alive, to be healthy, and to be loved by so many people I call family. I'm grateful to have two wonderful dogs. I'm grateful to be able to work for a living, and to have a job I love. I'm grateful to have a home, a car, clothes, food.
Today of all days, there's no such thing as diet cheating. There's no such thing as guilt, or binging.
Today is a day of fellowship. Of all the days of the year to have something to celebrate, today is the day we celebrate sharing. We celebrate the bounty of our toils, and that of others. Today we bring something of ourselves to the table, and encourage others to take of it, and to take of it with love.
And, as always, today is the day I make pecan pie in memory of Pop. I've perfected the recipe finally, and I know he would have enjoyed it immensely. When I bring that pie to the table, I feel him smiling and sense him saying, "That's good pie".
My wish for everyone is to have someplace to call home today, and people to call family, and food to share, stories to tell, and most of all, Love.
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