Thursday, November 11, 2010
It's just two miles, but it's the doorway to forever. I logged 6 miles this week so far total, and it's amazing to remember how good that feels. I started jogging in 1991, when a coworker invited me to go with her on her daily 2-mile jog. I remembered having to do runs in the army, for physical fitness requirements, and I remembered the misery and pain they always signified for me. It was different on that day in 1991 ... I wasn't required to flat-out kill myself for a certain time, and I was with someone to chat with while we went along our way.
And thus it began, what has been an ever-since love of running. I spent the last 8 years not running, and they were the most depressing years of all, with my weight spiraling to over 200 lbs, my personal life falling apart, and the grief of losing my Forever Dog in November 2006.
Now I'm back in the groove again. I haven't lost an ounce in the 6 weeks I've been out on the road, but I've lost inches. What I am learning from this experience right now is that I have more fat to convert to muscle before I actually start seeing a drop in weight.
I'll get there, too. Maybe not for a few months yet, but that doesn't matter. Time doesn't matter. I'm not on a deadline.
And here's the best part of all: I didn't do this alone. I am here because of the love and support of those who truly want me to excel and to shine my own light wherever there might be a bit of darkness that I can work to make bright again. The more I love my Self enough to be well, the more I discover how much I love so many others, and how much I am loved back. I am truly blessed. I am rich beyond measure.
Happy Veteran's Day to all. We all know someone who served, who is serving, who didn't come home, who will come home, or we are someone who served or is serving. Bless this country, for we are made great by our doings, and we continue to do great things to help others.
Saturday, November 06, 2010
My car turned over 100,000 miles a couple of months ago, so I can no longer measure tenths of a mile increments of distance. I was curious however to find out if my half-mile turnaround point was actually half a mile. My concern is that on average we tend to underestimate actual distance. I didn't want to log mile runs if my distance was only .8 mile.
Lo and behold! a friend of mine came to pick me up to go shopping, and I asked her to measure my route. Where I turn around is actually .7 mile from my house! I've been doing 1.4 mile jogs for a couple of weeks now.
My goal was to get up to two mile jogs before it starts to snow. I'm well on my way to meeting that goal, and not a moment too soon, as the first snow of the season is supposed to be this weekend. Monday, I will do the two-mile jog.
Registration for the 2011 Bizz Johnson marathon is already open.
One very strong positive for me is that running has always been my mental equalizer. I run to meditate, to think, and to problem-solve. I feel well enough to start tapering down on the sam-e. The looser my clothes become, the more powerful I feel, especially since I am no longer an unsuspecting target of my coworker bullies.
I had a phone conversation with my adopted mom today and she said I sound a lot like my normal self again.
Simple words, but they meant the world to me in that moment. I am loved, and I can do anything.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Life is a journey, and along the way I learn. Always I learn. Sometimes I feel like, "Gee, how blind was I that I couldn't recognize this?" and that is what I'm feeling the last couple of weeks.
I'm a target of workplace bullies.
Everywhere I've ever worked, there were always people I knew I'd never be friends with, but I've always pretty much been able to work with anyone. This time is different.
The sad thing is, even though I have identified the cause of my stress, the stomach pain that feels like an ulcer coming on, the insomnia... chances are I can't do very much about it besides quit.
The main tormentor is a union rep, so whenever I've communicated with the union, I meet a brick wall. The department manager is so insecure, I can guarantee that she'll do the opposite of anything I suggest. She often has lunchtime meetings with the rest of her staff, because I am deliberately excluded from them. Therefore, I know very little of what actually goes on in the department.
The list goes on.
Knowledge is power. Perhaps it can also be empowerment.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
I think it's about week 3 of jogging. I try for at least 3 days a week, and no longer go with my big dog. It's too much aggravation for both of us - I get frustrated at Blaze's refusal to take my lead, and she gets frustrated at my slowness and frustration with her.
My coach comes with me most of the time, and she makes sure I'm doing alright with breathing and pacing, and I watch out to make sure she's safe on her bicycle on the road. We both get fresh air and exercise.
There was an article in last week's paper about the Bizz Johnson trail marathon on October 9. It's in my neighborhood, and now I have my goal identified. I have a year to get back to distance running, to a more normal weight, and work on endurance at elevation, as I live a mile above sea level.
I'm excited, and always in the back of my head is a little fear, because the best-laid plans can go seriously awry and training, readiness are never guarantees for finishing.
My friends are supportive and already joking about doing the pace car thing, waving donuts out the window as encouragement to keep going.
There is nothing holding me back.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
I have a young friend, the daughter of a coworker who lives in the neighborhood. This girl loves my little dog Dorian and comes over daily for her Dorian fix. Yesterday her mother told me that her girl has always been 'odd man out' among kids her age, and that she gravitates toward adults because they don't judge her the way kids do. I thought, well, it's okay, she's pretty funny to talk to and I don't mind her visits, and I have no problem sending her home when I need my down time. Lately she has been coming over with a neighbor boy.
How do I go about being a positive influence?
Eureka, thought I: when next they come over, I'll suggest putting on my jogging shoes and taking my big dog for a jog around the block and they can ride their bicycles with me.
And so it happened. It was pretty disastrous because there are a lot of dogs out on a warm afternoon and Blaze is still not very disciplined on a leash. But I made it around the block without mishap ... didn't fall, didn't keel over huffing and puffing, etc.
The boy suggested that "tomorrow" I leave the dogs at home. We'll give that a try. :>
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