Friday, July 29, 2011
Just read part of a sparkmail about needing a team to lose weight because I "can't do it alone". I have to think about that. I've never belonged to a team that was supposed to be for support, only there was always the person who pushed and pushed - "You can do that extra few rounds!" "Don't give in to that piece of bread!" and so on. In other words, teams sometimes turn out to be bullies, and all in the name of "helping".
I didn't have a coach the entire years I was a runner. I did everything on my own. I joined Team in Training once but only went to about 3 of the training run sessions because out of 25 people, I was always by myself. I didn't feel like I was part of a Team. I felt like a stranger, a tagalong, an outsider not really welcome because everyone else was either there with their friends or they were loners and not interested in running with another person. Heck, I can do that all by myself, alone!
My "team" was the company in San Diego I got all my gear from, and that's pretty much it. I went through many kinds of shoes before I found the ones that worked best for me, and ran all kinds of distances before I found the one I enjoy the challenge of.
Today, I am jogging again. I started up about 3 weeks ago. Called my old company in San Diego and learned that they have exploded in their business, but they still have all my information on record, and it felt good to be welcomed back to their family. They are my team once again. I don't talk about it at work because of some peoples' attitudes of discouragement and ill will when they see me doing well in spite of the environment.
Last evening I decided it cooled down enough to take my dog for a walk, only when I went out to call for her, the little brat came trotting back from her own walk to wherever she'd got off to. Hmph, thought I. I'll just take a shower and go to bed and lie very still. But.
It didn't happen that way. I put on jogging clothes, did my stretches, put on shoes, drank water, and did my mile jog in the dark. I anticipate that next week will be a very full one and jogging will have to take a back seat, but when I can, I will, even if it's at 9:30 at night because that's when I can go. This weekend I am on call and will not be able to go jogging at all; the glove has been thrown down. I bought expensive shoes; I can't afford to waste money like that, so I need to make good on the purchase.
I guess, then, it's possible to be my own team when all I have is me to get me out the door.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
I finally had enough extra money this payday to order a new pair of running shoes. Usually I also replace the manufacturer's insoles with better quality ones, but I couldn't afford them this time around.
My old running shoes are just that: old. I've been hauling them around with me for nearly ten years now, and that is just way too long for a person of my weight to use safely in a running program.
I'm getting back into a relationship with my gear company, the one in San Diego that I've ordered my stuff from exclusively for about 20 years now. Yes, the shoes were on sale, but yes they are my favorite running shoe brand ever, and yes they are appropriate for my size and weight and running needs. And yes, baby steps, one foot in front of the other, and my favorite chant while I'm huffing and puffing: run as fast as you can, and as slow as you have to.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
"... being HEALTHY feels!"
There. I said it. I hate hate HATE that other, more popular statement. Absolutely hate it.
After all, how do you know how being thin FEELS? How do you know that YOU feel any better about YOURSELF if you're thin vs not thin? It's just another obsession in the closet waiting to rear its ugly head.
I've been slim, and I wasn't any happier then than I am fat. There were just other things to obsess over, worry about, stuff down.
So my goal is to be healthy, no matter what physical size I am. Slowly but surely, when I've accomplished all I can to be healthy, then the size will adjust to match the person I am becoming. And that part doesn't really matter, at this point.
Tuesday, June 07, 2011
I nearly lost my little dog to poison two weeks ago. I didn't realize the seriousness of her increasing lethargy, not until she wouldn't eat her supper, and by then her liver was so dysfunctional, I'm surprised she's alive to tell the tale. I don't know how she got poisoned, and it's discouraging to think that there are such wicked people out there who don't think twice about harming others.
Then, her vet had a major stroke and is in hospital still. This veterinarian is the best in the area, and is much loved and much missed by her clients and patients. I hope Dr. Roberta will make a fine recovery, and perhaps be able to come back to her practice, even if a little limited. She has an associate who could probably take care of the surgeries, while she takes care of the clinicals. In any case, whatever happens, she has a massive group of well-wishers and we all hope she will get well again.
Dorian spent two nights in hospital, and came home looking pretty skinny. She was still jaundiced, but good food, plenty of rest, plenty of water, and medications have done their job. A sick dog will still eat salmon. She acts like nothing ever happened, but I can tell she tires more easily than usual. This might be for a few more weeks, might be for forever, and it doesn't matter. I'll do what I need to do in order to keep her healthiest and happiest for the rest of her life.
I'll also ask for prayers for Dr. Roberta, for recovery and a return to health and her horses.
Friday, April 08, 2011
"... sense and humor". An old friend said that to me quite a number of years ago, and I've never forgotten it.
I've been keeping a small distance from the everyday news updates about what's going on in Japan. My mother was 9 and living in Tokyo when the War ended; she never spoke of the early days and my exposure to the horrifying effects of atomic warfare was through pictures I could never look at. To this day I have not seen but a few photographs of those times.
Today, I can not bring myself to pay a lot of attention to the nitty-gritty of the trauma my people are trying to survive with grace and dignity. I am an American citizen and if called will stand and defend America to the death against any and all enemies. I am, however, born and raised Japanese, and these are my true people. This is the blood of my blood, and the soul of my soul.
I did read, however, of the 7.1 magnitude aftershock that occured yesterday, and how everyone rushed to convenience stores and groceries to stock up on, of all things, instant noodles. And in my lacking-sense-and-humor mind, I thought, holy chorizo, Sapporo Ichiban stock is going to shoot through the roof now.
Monosodium glutamate was invented by a curious Japanese man with perhaps too much time on his hands. No one could think of a good use for this chemical, but somehow, somebody discovered that adding it to food enhanced the flavor, and a star was born. We know this product universally as Ajinomoto; in America it was promoted as Accent.
MSG is an everyday occurence in Japanese food, which probably has expanded to pretty much all of Asia by now. I don't eat at Chinese restaurants, even if they post a sign saying "We never use MSG", because they may not consciously use MSG, but the majority of flavoring mixtures and sauces contain MSG that are widely used in Asian cooking.
MSG is coupled with massive amounts of sodium in the soup base of every instant-noodle brand. The brand synonymous with instant noodles is Sapporo Ichiban. It's the brand I grew up with. I have not eaten instant noodles in years, mainly because of the MSG, which bothers me a lot now that I'm an Americanized adult, but also because the soup base usually contains animal fat. When I was growing up, though, we were probably like 99% of Japanese households and stocked about a year's worth of the stuff because it was fairly inexpensive, kept forever, and was tasty and quick to prepare. Who needs a fast-food joint when we can make a bowl of ramen? For me, curry-flavored ramen noodles was the tops in comfort food, but miso paste added to the soup was a very close second. For better or for worse, we do love our salt profile.
So this is a random sprinkling of my thought process, and perhaps it will come off as a huge question mark for a lot of readers, and that's okay. Anyone who has spent some time in Japan will understand. And that's okay too.
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