Friday, March 25, 2011
This is unsettling. A few days ago I read a featured blog post from an individual who lumped Sparkpeople into two groups, black and white: Motivators and Strugglers. Motivators were those who take control of their lives and diets, use the trackers and measure everything and see results week after week. The Strugglers were those who didn't use the trackers, who didn't have complete control over what they ate, and didn't always measure weight loss week after week after week.
I found this post to be mildly offensive, mainly because I would be lumped in with the Strugglers. Truthfully, my life has not been a struggle at all; far from it. And I don't use the trackers (except to post my weight every few months), I don't plan out my diet so that I see weight lost every week; I don't count calories, don't measure portions, etc. I can't. My mental status doesn't "compute" these control methods where food intake is concerned.
I think it's the so-called Strugglers who are the inspirational folks, the ones who give a lot of us the strength and determination to just keep on trying. It's the Strugglers who know that starting over, no matter how many times, is always better than giving up and going back. It's the Strugglers who represent the Motivators to me. The so-called Motivators in the blog post just resembled a bunch of strong-willed, perhaps controlling, and certainly judgemental people. I had enough of that growing up.
I don't find the poster to be offensive, however. After all, we each have to come to the place on our own, the place where we continue to change for the better, in whatever way seems best to each.
As they say in 12-step, "Take what you like, and leave the rest".
Sunday, March 20, 2011
My supervisor has been sick for several weeks, and not present at work since. That means that a coworker is "in charge" in the supervisor's absense. Add to this the gang of thugs this coworker belongs to, and it represents, for me, a really horrible work environment.
The lazy coworker abandoned me on Monday, and spent the day in another area doing very little, but when it came time she needed help with an equipment issue, I was unable to address the problem.
The problem was still there on Tuesday but once again I was unable to do anything about it. Tuesday night I was supposed to be on call, and was told the next day that I didn't respond to a page... turns out the page came well before my call time started, and that's why I didn't respond. To make matters worse, I was informed that next day by the "in charge" coworker that he had left early and my call was supposed to have started two hours earlier than what was posted on the schedule. Oh, okay, I'm supposed to know this, or else I'm supposed to respond to any and all pages no matter what time they come in?
That was news to me.
Anyway it was like that for 3 days. The next day I came in to work for the supervisor and she was there but I stayed anyway at her request, and then discovered that the "in charge" coworker is trying to write me up for being "lazy, unhelpful, uncooperative, refused to help X with processor problems, made X do the processor tests which she should be doing herself, did not respond to a page while on call...." You get the idea.
It was funnier than anything else, and I truly am hoping that this makes it to a documented write-up because that is the only way I can blow this turd out of the water, and his minions too. I have too many witnesses, and too many people on my side for these accusations to be believed in any part.
I maintain composure by doing my job, sticking to my schedule, ignoring the thugs, and keeping in touch with my support network.
Presently I'm working on a pair of mittens that requires strong attention to detail, as the pattern is from a traditional Norwegian style of knitting. I will post photos but for now I have the first one completed and started on the second one, and will save the thumbs for after.
It's good therapy. The inspiration came from my niece.
Otherwise, we've had several feet of snow since Thursday night, and I have to go shovel a 4' berm as well as a path for my little dog. It's great exercise, shoveling snow! Quite aerobic although low-impact. Builds a strong back.
Thursday, March 03, 2011
So I started using this bottle method of rinsing out my sinus tracts. I tried it, there was no panic and no sting, so I thought it's something I can do on a regular basis, seeing as how I tend to have chronic sinusitis.
I used up the two sample packets of 'stuff' that came with the kit, and headed to the healthy food store near me to find more. The fella who runs the store assured me that I can make my own 'stuff', just put a pinch of sea salt into the bottle and it will work just fine. I was also assured that there would be no stinging.
It's hard to determine how much is contained in a pinch, so I used my smidgeon measuring spoon to equal half a pinch. Probably total it was 1/8 teaspoon, or less.
I use this rinse in the shower, because that way I can lower my head way down, and anything I snort out will not splatter anywhere important, and just get rinsed down the drain.
It stung. A lot. I felt like all those times I'd dove into the local swimming pool and my nose wasn't properly sealed off. Ow! But I persevered and rinsed out my sinuses anyway. Not pleasant at all.
Not to be detered, I went online and looked at page after page of homemade rinse 'stuff' and decided on a recipe of 1/4 tsp sea salt and 1/4 tsp baking soda (sodium bicarbonate) in warm water. One recipe also suggested adding a small amount of glycerine but I didn't have any on hand.
This stuff was much better. No sting. Comments on the glycerine suggest that it will help the rinse soothe the nasal cavity walls if they are inflamed. People described it as "smooth".
So there you have it, nasal rinse fans. The sea salt and baking soda mix is for 8 oz warm water.
Meanwhile, this week I have developed full-blown sinus infection, and have spent most of the week in bed. I'm also avoiding contact with all dairy products, although I still cook with some butter here and there. Otherwise I've had no cheese, no other milk products and no eggs. It's been important to continue with the daily sinus rinses, as they do help with relieving some of the headache-inducing pressure. It's the headaches that keep me laid low.
Thank goodness for split pea soup. Thank goodness I love split pea soup, too!
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Last night I made cauliflower cheese soup. It's important to me to go as 'close to the source' as I possibly can in choosing foods that I eat. This means whole-milk dairy products, including milk. I can't afford raw-milk cheeses so I do the next best thing and use only Tillamook cheese which is readily available here and tasty too. And so on.
So a couple of weeks ago I had bought two heads of cauliflower during a produce super-sale at a local grocer's. They were still there in my fridge yesterday and I was thinking out loud at work that I wanted to cook them somehow before they went rotten. Somebody suggested cauliflower cheese soup, and somebody else yummed about it, so I decided I'll make this soup.
Mein gott - I have not eaten this much dairy in a 24-hour period in over 30 years!! Whole milk, cheese, and butter to make the roux itself. Wow. It was awesome soup though, even if there was almost no nutritionally redeeming value to it. Yes, it was comforting and filling, and I got a nice bundle of vitamins and amino acids and so on, but the amount of cholesterol and fat sort of negated any benefit, in my mind.
And it's okay. I don't eat cauliflower cheese soup every day; in fact, this is the first time I've ever had it, and as a rule I don't eat milk-based soups, ever, so this isn't going to kill me or my healthy-living plans.
I do have to say, though: Thank goodness I have several quarts of split-pea soup in the fridge as well!! Tomorrow needs to be basically a vegan sort of day, I think.
I may just stick to roasting cauliflower with other veg from here on out, unless I find a nice curry recipe to use it in.
On another note, at work today one of the receptionists at the clinic gave me a sample neti-type sinus rinse thing. I have avoided using a neti pot for a long, long time now because, frankly, the idea itself scares the piss out of me. I also have chronic sinusitis. I need to rinse, and often, especially during pollen season. Anyway, the receptionist said she's afraid of drowning but she has used this rinse with success, so I tried it. It's a squeeze bottle and came with two sample packets of whatever ph-balancing stuff it was to mix with warm water. One bends over a sink and places the bottle into one nostril, breathe through the mouth, and gently squeeze the bottle. The stuff goes into one sinus and rinses out through the other. I discovered that if I kept my sinus area lower than my mouth area, the fluid would not drain out into my mouth, which grossed me out to the point I almost gagged. Not good. So, head down, rinsed through one side and then the other.
Whoosh! What an experience that was. No pain, no panic. So far I still feel clean and clear in my sinus tracts. Okay. I'm converted now!
Sunday, February 13, 2011
I love the A&E show "Heavy". The show promotes change - change in thoughts, change in feelings, change in activation of ideas and ideals. It should be required viewing for anyone who ever thought that fat people just need willpower, or who ever wondered why fat people just don't stop eating for goodness' sake.
A lot of the overweight people on these episodes are called food addicts. I'm not sure it's a good thing. Sometimes we take on labels as excuses. "I can't help it - I'm an addict".
I don't call myself a food addict. I don't feel it's a drug that I am hooked on, where I need a fix every 6 hours or whatever. So am I really a food addict? I refer to myself as a compulsive overeater. Obsessive-compulsive disorder is not an addiction disorder. Or is it?
Now, people might look at me and say, "Who cares? You're fat, just deal with it!" But if there's a difference, if there are distinctions, then the approach must also be different and distinct.
Can a food addict learn portion control? I think the answer is 'yes', whereas an obsessive-compulsive eater can not learn portion control. Can a food addict learn to compensate for triggers by eliminating them from the home? I think the answer is 'yes' whereas the obsessive-compulsive eater simply moves on to the next trigger food. And then the next one.
Getting healthy is a learning process. I learned from watching this show that I've been judgemental about others. I think there IS a distinction between food addiction and obsessive-compulsive eating, and it is not right for me to lump the two behaviors together. I've been thinking the same as those people who look at fat people as having no willpower or that they just "need to" stop eating.
So, today, I am a better person. I identified a flaw in my character, and now I can work toward eliminating that flaw by changing how I think about something.
To answer the question: No, I am not a food addict. I am a compulsive overeater, and yes, there IS a difference.
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