Friday, January 28, 2011
Friends invited me to go with them out of town for fun. We just went to another town down the mountain, and shopped for practical things, and had lunch. Not a big day, but a fun one.
While I was looking for some black pants (not sweatpants!), I came across the skirt I'd bought from Lane Bryant several years ago, and wore a total of one time.
On a whim, I put it on. It's a cotton skirt, the kind of fabric with some stretch added in, and has side pockets and cargo style topstitching. A sporty skirt.
A sporty skirt that fit. Again.
Even though I haven't shaved my legs in a couple of weeks, I wore that skirt anyway, and the top was a sporty top I hadn't worn in several years either because it had become too snug, but which fit just right. Skimmed over the hips, but did not drown me in too-roomy fabric down to my knees.
In other words, I kind of showed my figure yesterday, and didn't really think too much on that.
So it isn't just a skirt that I can put on once again... it's a mind-altering experience during which I didn't feel self-conscious that anyone can see I still have some weight to lose. It's an emancipating experience. No, I'm not going to go all hoochie-mama wardrobe on the world. That way lies negative self image as well, and I've had enough of that thought process. I don't have time for self-destruction anymore.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
January 31 will be my one-year anniversary with sparkpeople.com. The journey has been bumpy, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. It's MY journey, after all, and I make of it what I want it to be.
I'm happy to have found the wherewithal to make the changes that bring me to this point 21 lbs lighter, 21 lbs less unhealthy. I've gotten rid of 21 lbs of unhappiness, 21 lbs of depression, 21 lbs of aggravation.
I've made a resolution to lose 40 more pounds in 2011, give or take, but the nice thing is that I'm not all that concerned with what the final number will be this coming December 31. It's the journey that counts. It's how I reach that place where I feel like everything is as it should be, for that moment. Life, after all, is not a static state of being. It's evolving, changing, and yes, sometimes stopping before one expects. I'm taking it all in, and I'm living my life, warts and all.
I didn't get here by myself, and I won't continue by myself, either. Daily I practice gratitude.
Thank you for being here, SparkPeople, and thank you for bringing me people who care.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Just saw an ad on television: Good-looking man with blonde toddler, they're both next to a cornfield. Man talks about wanting what's best for his child, the best and healthiest food; he "researches" corn sugar vs cane sugar and finds out that science claims the human body can't tell the difference. Therefore, he feels "good" about feeding his precious offspring with foods made with high fructose corn syrup.
This ad, and others like it claiming that there is 'no difference' between corn sugar and cane sugar, is misleading in a very dangerous way. The human body reacts quite differently to each type of sugar. Don't believe me? Do the "math".
Make two batches of cookies, one with pure cane sugar (says so on the package) and one with corn syrup as the only sweetener. All other ingredients are identical.
Now, wait until you have an empty stomach, and drink a glass of water. Eat 3 cookies made with cane sugar. In an hour, you shouldn't feel any differently than you did before you ate them.
Okay? Now wait until you have an empty stomach, drink a glass of water, and eat 3 of the corn-syrup sweetened cookies. Within the hour, do you feel differently? I predict that within the hour you'll have a slight headache, and the smallest irritation will set off almost a rage reaction.
You can try the same experiment on your kids. With the cane-sugar sweetened cookies, they won't be different; with the corn-syrup sweetened cookies, they'll bounce off the walls and misbehave with smart-mouth talk.
Sugar is not just sugar. It DOES make a difference what kind you use.
Here's another experiment to try:
Make a pecan pie the traditional way, with sugar and corn syrup. Make another pecan pie using pure cane sugar and honey. Taste a piece of each. I guarantee that the first will have almost a too-sweet, chemical flavor, while the second will be sweet but not overpowering, and you'll actually taste the pecans. Not only that, the first one will make you feel sick and the second one won't.
There's a lot to be said for going back to the traditional and natural ways to cook and eat. The more processed or altered the food, the more harm it does to your body, even if it is fortified with the nutrients that were originally lost in the processing! Not only that, but the less filling that food actually is. How many people can eat an entire box of prepared mac'n'cheese? I certainly can, and I know that one box represents a single serving for the average overweight or compulsive person. However, if you buy the pasta and grate your own cheese and milk and seasonings into it, all of the sudden it's a lot more filling. There's also a lot less sodium involved.
Instead of reconstituting that box of Rice-a-Roni, why not cook a rice medley, forget the 'roni' part, add your own seasonings, finely chopped brocolli and carrot, some olive oil, and call it a day? It takes about ten minutes more to make a rice medley from scratch as it does from the box, and look at the health advantages!
America, wake up and rethink what you're eating! Don't buy that packeted instant oatmeal crap! Buy the big tub of old-fashioned oats, mix in your own dried fruits, unsalted sunflower seed, flax seed, sugar and cinnamon, and call it a day! It cooks up the same in the microwave, and will fill you up a LOT more and sooner than the boxed, packeted kind will, for a lot less $$ and sugar. Or leave it unsweetened and add honey or maple syrup to what you plan to eat.
We The People need to change the way we eat. If we don't, the food-producing corporations won't change either, and that way lies danger.
Friday, January 21, 2011
I've been binging all week. I know this because I have an unnatural craving for chocolate. Instead of seeking ways to deny myself, like in the olden days, I am giving myself permission to eat whatever it is I'm craving. At Costco, the tiramisu looked yummy so I bought one. Then I decided on a jug of chocolate caramel macadamia nuts. Otherwise, I bought regular food - the usual several pounds of fresh veg for roasting, various dried fruit for making my own microwave oatmeal, etc. I also got a 14-pack of organic pink lady apples, a carton of canned mandarins, and meat for the dogs. In the grand scheme of things, I'm doing pretty good.
It feels kind of weird, though, to know I'm binging, and doing nothing to stop it... letting things take their course is a foreign concept when it comes to a behavior I'd always been taught to hide and deny. I know I'm going to gain some weight, and I also know that this isn't forever. I know the source of the triggers, the reasons for my cravings.
As long as I still drink plenty of water, get lots of fresh outdoor air, and move around as much as possible, I'll be alright. I'll get through this.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
I've read several blog posts of resolutions. Putting them down in words and answering to others in that way is a tool for success, I think.
My goals for 2011
I will lose 42 lbs in the next twelve months. This is pretty loose, actually, because the body will do what it will do. I'm not stressing out over it. Any weight loss, even if it's another 20 lbs in 12 months, will be cause for celebration.
I will maintain consistent day-to-day living: get up about the same time daily, go to bed about the same time daily, and be active about the same amount daily.
I will continue to eat whole foods and plenty of them. Each week, the local grocery has good discounts on produce. I take advantage to stock up on veg I eat most often, such as carrots and broccoli, and use others to cook up dishes that can be portioned and frozen.
I will continue to cook as much as possible from scratch, including plenty of sweets. When I keep plenty of sweets around the house, like with salty foods I tend to eat more sensibly. Binges happen because of the mental paranoia of something disappearing if I don't eat it all RIGHT NOW. Keeping trigger foods around in plentiful amounts means the fear is gone that the foods will disappear. I don't have to eat them all RIGHT NOW because they'll still be there tomorrow and the next day and next week.
I will visit farmer's markets whenever I can.
In 2011, my professional goal is to be out of the area and into a new job in a new location that is closer to the ocean. It means working a 2nd job to save money for moving and the travel funds to house hunt and so on. Changing jobs and staying where I am is not a solution because everyone knows everyone else, and old enemies have the ability to make trouble in new jobs elsewhere. I know now that nothing will change in my present work environment, because the bullies I work with are not facing any kind of punishments for their actions. As long as the persons in charge will not act on my behalf, I will continue to work against the tide. I haven't the energy or desire to keep fighting, but I'm not going to sit back and continue in this negative environment, either.
I will keep up a running program. I may not enter the Bizz Johnson marathon if I'm no longer in the area, but I will enter a fall marathon. My goal is only to finish.
In 2011 I will keep a knitting box next to the easy chair, and maintain habitual knitting when I'm sitting. I have lots of projects lined up, most of them simple and/or small, for myself, my home, or others.
In 2011 I will work on my home sewing business and get that off the ground instead of letting fear of failure keep me rooted in inaction. This might be the most important resolution of all.
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