Friday, December 06, 2013
I've always had a certain body image in my head, which I imagine is why I have always had difficulty internalizing when I'm thin and when I'm heavy.
Yes, I have a mirror. Yes, I know what size my clothes are. But in my head I'm just a slightly wider or slightly narrower version of ME. Maybe it's just wishful thinking or the rose-colored glasses I usually view the world with. Maybe it's just my way of being content with where I am in the moment.
Either way, for the first time in a long, long, long, long time I am envisioning a truly sleeker version of me, and I want that. I am working for that every day.
Monday, December 02, 2013
Workout every day. I'm 2 for 2 so far. Reward: Free pass on Christmas Day. I know you're not supposed to use food as a reward, but what the heck, if it works.
3 - 45 mins elliptical
4 - 50 mins elliptical
5 - 30 mins personal trainer, 45 mins Zumba
6 - 35 mins elliptical
25- Merry Christmas!
Friday, November 22, 2013
I'm addicted to endorphins! I remember this feeling, and it feels good. My mental state has even seriously improved. I work at home and I had become very cloistered. There would be spans of days that I never left the house. I still worked, still cleaned, but going out, no way! I was even becoming a little pessimistic and wondering the Why Bother of everything. So unlike me.
I feel like I'm back, reconnecting to Me. I like feeling strong. I forgot that. I'm so happy to remember that about myself!
Wednesday, November 06, 2013
Huh? you say. We worked my arms on Monday and that's what he said, you're gonna feel like T Rex, yk, short little arms. I laughed then and I laugh now when I try to straighten my left arm and can't. Yeah, we worked those muscles hard. Thank you, Daniel.
But it feels good. Exercise is always my biggest challenge. Left to my own devices, like yesterday, when I should have done some cardio, I didn't. I've run through all the usual excuses to let myself off the hook, but I know I let myself down. Hmm, that's a different emotion about it.
But that was yesterday. This is today. I slept in so no morning classes, but 6:30 Zumba, I'll be there!
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Today was my first one-on-one trainer session and I became anxious about it last night and hooboy did my trash talk go into overdrive. It became worrisome. I started to doubt. I've lost weight many times before, what makes me think this time will be different?
I don't, I guess, but the fact that my brain went into overdrive makes me think Trash Talker was feeling threatened so she started being more forceful and hitting those buttons that always seemed to make me sabotage myself in the past. Talked to the most supportive man in my life about it. I need to remember I am not doing this on my own, and not entirely for myself. I want to stay strong and healthy so we can hike well into our old age.
I need to learn to combat the Trash Talker. Tell her to calm down and clam up, I got this. We're going to have a good time with this new improved me.
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