DOLLYLALA's Recent Blog Entries

Feelin' Groovy

Thursday, March 04, 2010

After an amazing weekend (it literally changed my life forever) and two trips to the sushi bar that is a minute's walk from my new apartment I am feeling really great. I am not moved in yet, but the prospect of living and working and going to church and the grocery all within a 5 minute walk is incredibly exciting. The Y is a mile away (and that is going to be my c25k starter) and with this one little weekend my life became so much less complicated.

It's a long time coming. In my life I have made decisions that led to messes and I didn't have the equipment to extract myself from them as easily or arrogantly as I had rushed into them. But now the tide has turned, FINALLY.

It has taken a long time for me to accept them as bad decisions and not just bad luck or God punishing me for some obscure and unknowable reason (so lame, so lame) and just turn around and go the other way -- you know, sometimes you spend so much time and energy on proving you didn't make a mistake? That is just hubris, out-of-the-box seven-deadly-sins pride, but it becomes an obsession to some how make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.

Of course nobody knows anything about that kind of stubborn foolishness but me, right?

Anyway, all the sudden my life is showing all the signs of having made a different decision and wow, it feels good. It doesn't feel like I have horrible luck or God is punishing me anymore -- interesting how that worked, isn't it?

Now I feel as if I am "blessed and highly favored of the Lord" and that ain't just words to cover up a crap reality. And I am diggin' this, really diggin' it.

And I am not shoving food in my mouth like I am starving or storing up for winter.

Wow. Humans are complex creatures. Who can sort one out?

I was having no luck, but I am so glad that I found Someone who could.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BABY_GIRL69 3/4/2010 5:25PM

    I must confess that I am one of those such stubborn creatures & man it takes a long long (this could long) long time to change some the habits associated with this behavior. emoticon I am so glad that you found a place smack dab in the middle of your apartment! emoticon emoticon emoticonGood luck on your daily walk to the Y & God bless you! oh thanks for the add. . . Dee emoticon

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DOLLYLALA 3/4/2010 1:12PM

    WHoohoooo! Thanks Harper369, and thanks ITGIRL74! Buddies! I have Buddies!

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ITGIRL74 3/4/2010 12:45PM

    I'm really happy for you. And so excited that you're moving back to OP. I have a pretty good idea of where you'll be based on your description, and I live really close to there. We're going to be Y and C25K buddies!

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HARPERLADY 3/4/2010 10:42AM

    sounds fantastic! I am so glad things are going well for you emoticon emoticon

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Family Fast Day

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

First Tuesday of the month is Family Fast Day -- a day to fast (no rules, the heart knows what to fast from -- food, coffee, sugar, bread.. some eat only veggies, it's the act of fasting and not what is fasted from that matters) and devote time to praying for family and families. My prayer buddy Kathy started this several months ago as a way to keep her family connected to each other and to the Source of Life and Truth.

It has grown now, and there are a lot of people who have chosen to join the fast. Everyone has their own reasons, the longings of their own hearts for their families. It has changed things in our families, but also in us. My feelings for my family have grown less frantic and more settled, as it dawns on me that this One who hung the universe has Got This regarding my little concerns too.

For me it is also a day to contemplate my portion -- how the things that have been the most painful have also been the pivotal things, the wake-up calls that have led to stark and meaningful changes for the better in me. I consider and give thanks, acknowledging that the things that have best fed me spiritually have not been the things I wanted but they were good for me, and eventually I grew to crave different things, things that made me fit and strong. I take today to put self-pity far away from me, knowing that self-pity is junk food at its worst.

Today I look at what feeds me and pray for my family to also be fed well, better than I could feed them, better than I could ever know how to. Today I am grateful for a Father who is not indulgent of me or my loved ones, but He is always concerned for what will make me fit for the answer to my prayers, even if it means listening to me scream and fight Him.

Today is a day to stop struggling against His hand of discipline, open my eyes to the goodness that He has portioned out for me, and accept it. I am better for my family that way. I am better for the world around me that way. I am better for myself, not as hungry for things to fill a hole that food can't fill.

Happy Family Fast Day. I pray for your families, too, that you will be filled with good things, that you will see your good portion, really see it, in a way that will feed you and satisfy you.


Me? RUN?

Friday, February 26, 2010

Just read the Daily Spark on the Couch to 5K (C25K) training. Wow wow wow. I have never been able to run -- well, actually, I did learn to sprint over 12 years of running to catch busses and trains, but I assumed I COULDN'T run. I actually started biking as a compromise, because I hated to walk (hips were out of whack, and working out actually fixed that naturally -- one day while doing single leg curls I felt this huge thwunk as it slipped back into proper alignment in the socket and I could walk again. Who knew?) But when I run I tire so easily. The sprint to the train leaves me gasping, unable to sit until my breathing slows. Running or even jogging for a full minute seems impossible. I just never learned how to move and breathe correctly. But maybe I could... This article makes me think even I could do it. Has anyone else had my troubles and fixed them?

It's great to have a place where I can read about the process of getting fit without being inundated with quick-fixes and false promises.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DOLLYLALA 2/26/2010 1:53PM

    Thanks all, for the encouragement. Heather, if you want a running buddy you have one! Thinking about moving back to OP anyway, this is another reason to push the date.

Hugs and dap all around!

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TAMMYYARBROUGH 2/26/2010 12:50PM

    There is a really great article in this months WW magazine about running. I, too, have "issues" and have been debating about this myself. If you read the article, it talks about starting off really gradually, until you are able to get up to 20 minutes in 8 weeks. I'm going to give it a shot myself, and believe me, I am no runner. Read the article. See what you think. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HARPERLADY 2/26/2010 12:14PM

    the more you get use to working out the better you feel and the more you want to do, I am not sure if I will get into running or not but every time I am on the treadmill I feel like i could and then I get out of breath kinda like a wheeze which I contribute to bad sinus. just dont rule anything out . emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 2/26/2010 12:14:45 PM

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ITGIRL74 2/26/2010 11:07AM

    If I can do it, you can do it. I never thought I'd be able to run, certainly not when I've still got more than 80 pounds to lose. But now I'm in the 3rd week of C25K. I was scared, so I started out really slowly and did a couple of weeks of "pre-C25K." The first week I ran intervals of 30 seconds running, 2 minutes walking. The next week I went to 45 seconds running, 105 seconds walking. By the time I got to the official week 1, it wasn't so bad.

The key to C25K is that you run at a nice, even pace that you can sustain for as long as is required. For me that means "slow." Your run to the train was a sprint, so of course you were out of breath!

Since I haven't run in a while anyway, I'm tempted to start over so we can do this together. It would be SO much more fun with another person.

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Without a scale

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

I am entering into weight loss without a scale.

Is that not a good idea?

I went out to buy one yesterday and decided not to, not yet.

Am I rebelling, or am I onto something? Am I lame? Am I a forerunner, a pioneer?

Yes to all the above. But clothes feel better after a week, and I do too. I am going to keep on keping on until I see a reason to change my track.

Walked my butt off the last two days, not on purpose. Ran like a crazy person to catch the train -- I learned to run running for the train -- didn't realize that if I shifted my weight and let go of my hips I would be actually doing it. Who knew?

I am going to have a great day!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HARPERLADY 2/23/2010 10:21AM

    sclaes are great but they can be a set back too emoticon

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LIQUEURLADY 2/23/2010 10:20AM

    Aha, the measuring tape method! Actually, I like that way better, since for me, this is all about looking great in clothes. So who cares if I weigh 200 lbs if I can be 36-24-36! LOL!

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JLHUBER81 2/23/2010 10:12AM

    I don't have a scale either. I have been weighing myself at the gym, but in doing so sometimes focus more on the numbers than how my clothes fit or how I feel. Keep up the good work and the positive attitude. Doesn't seem like you need to change anything!

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Inside-Outside-Upside Down

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Today I am going to officially start writing down everything I eat. On one level it seems really self-absorbed, but on another level it seems like for the first time I can actually admit what I am eating and that seems like a good choice. For some reason it all the sudden I am giving up self-absorption and going on to making choices that allow me to forget me and go onto something that matters more than me. This is a turn the corner day. As was yesterday.


Whoa, ps --

Today, last thing before I left to go home, the little girl came -- with the cookies. THE GIRLSCOUT COOKIES

Somehow, I have no idea how -- I didn't eat any.

I'm afraid of them -- I know if I eat one it will be a box.

Gave them to my housemate to take to work.

Out of sight, out of mind. Day two of feeling in control. This is addictive.


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