Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Well Sunday (mother's day) I lost my mind or something. My husband fixed me breakfast.
It was a dreary day so we got out. My husband asked where do you want to eat. I did not want to eat out. But he said you have to your blood sugar will drop and you will get a headache. Okay, we'll go to Golden Corral but we will go early to miss the crowd. We got there at 10:30 they were still serving breakfast. We will have a little, biscuit and gravy, one bacon and a star shaped donut. I did not eat but 1/2 the biscuit and gravy (wasn't that sweet of me). Then we decided we would eat lunch. They stared serving at 11:00. We had grilled shrimp and grilled vegetables.
We rode around awhile and then went home. I thought I would have peanut butter and graham crackers for supper. I ate the whole pack! Then I had a Klondike bar and then some nuts. Then a energy bar, you know my energy was about gone with all this eating!!!!! Nuts, Nuts, Nuts.
I really thought I would not binge like that anymore. Well I found out just get me started.
One good thing Monday morning I was glad to get back to healthy eating and counting my calories. I had no desire to overeat or have two breakfast. Maybe I am learning something. Not keeping on for a week or month. Wow I really am disappointed in me but I feel like I will get better.
I was reading Sean A. Anderson's book Transformation Road and he talks about how he had struggled with 5oo pounds and how finally he changed his mind set and was able to loss around 300 hundred pounds. He has a blog that he wrote from day one and he has really inspired me.
I put something he said on my wall and I read it everyday and it gives me such hope.
I have his permission to write this: Your transformation is powerful. As you become physically smaller your world becomes bigger. You start noticing things you didn't before. You develop a deeper understanding and appreciation of the road behind, giving you a new perspective on the road ahead. You're able to zero in on the present and make choices, one by one, with a confident patience for results, and its not just you, because everyone around you is affected by your transformation in some way, and this effect is beyond your control or responsibility. You embody inspiration. You're amazing. You're powerful. This is you.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Its thursday and I am making my menu out for the day. No thought of doing anything different.
I am just glad I have today to make some good choices. I am trying to eat a lot of vegetables all different kinds. I am enjoying thinking up good things to eat for my husband and I . We have decided not to go out to eat for anything. We loss better when we do. I am eating kale everyday.
I never give it a thought to make a salad out of kale. That's what I'm having for lunch, apiece of salmon, big bowl of kale,spinach, bellpepper, garlic, onion, mushrooms, sauté them add to bowl, small tomatoes, sprite of Bragg amino acid spray, some dressing that the health store makes that is vegan, hot peppers. That is a lot of chewing but you really get satisfied. I'll have snap beans, new potatoes and turnip greens for supper. I will have popcorn and pistachios for a snack tonight. I had oatmeal, honey, almond milk and banana for breakfast. I'll try to work in 1/2 cup of pineapple somewhere today. I try to stay around 1300 calories sometimes 1350 . I know the more vegetables, whole grain, fruits, whole wheat pasta that you will lose and be a lot healthier. I am so looking forward to the transformation that will occur as I stick to eating healthy.
I read somewhere as you lose weight your world gets bigger, you are not taking up so much space. You notice things that you have not noticed before. Isn't that neat? You can sit in any chair and not be afraid of it breaking or you hanging over. You can sit in booths and be comfortable. You can walk through a crowded space and not be all over everyone. You will not be the biggest person in the room. All kinds of things that a person who is not obese does not worry about or even think about. That's what I want and will get.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
I got side tracked. I got to reading some of my past blogs. Wow, up and down, up and down.
Here I am again bigger than ever. If I don't get this right I am not going to be here to enjoy any kind of life. I'm tired of talking about the weight loss, what to eat, how to exercise, how not to exercise because I'm so big. I just want this weight gone once and for all. I'm tired of worrying about it. I only know one way to lose weight and that is to count calories, do the exercise that I can, eat lots of vegetables and fruit. I'm not big on meat. I like fish and some chicken. If that does not get the weight off then I am dead. I have to do this for me.
Oh well that's enough of that. One day at a time is it.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Well i have reached an all time high. I made myself weigh this morning and it took me awhile to get over it. I weighted 354 pounds. As you can see I decided to eat what I wanted and not do any more moving than I had too. Well here I sit scared to death that I will have a stroke or a heartattack. I would not even look at Spark to get help. I know this has to stop now. I really do want to live. But my actions say different. What is wrong with me that fast food, sweets and junk are more important to me than having a life that I enjoy. I very rarely go any where where I have to walk. It hurts too much. I wear the same old big clothes. I want to have fun, wear cute clothes, go to interesting places with my husband . All I know to do is start this day eating healthy, walk as far as I can, log my food in at Sparks, check in everyday and read other peoples struggles and victories.
If anyone reads this say a little pray for me that I get my life back.
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