Monday, April 25, 2011
I have been reading everything I could find on addiction to sweets and there is a lot of research out there. I think I may have found out why I lose and gain like crazy. April 24, 2011
I promised myself no more candy, cookies, ice cream, cakes etc. I have been checking the milk, everything I eat and there is sugar in everything. No wonder we have problems with our weight. I guess I will get some sugar but I don't have to eat candy, cookies, ice cream etc.
I am going to try and watch what foods have sugar in them and how much and try to buy the one with the lowest sugar. Who knew my almond milk had 24 grams of sugar for each glass. And then you add all the extra sugar I don't need, and I wonder why my brain is in a fog, sugar overload. This all kind of feels surreal, me not eating sweets, this must be a dream. This morning as I sit doing my menu for the day I felt like I am on a new journey. I don't know what is around the corner. I don't know what to expect. I really do sound like an addict. My little world is turned upside down because of sweets. Get real!! I think I have more important things in my life than this. But wait, I am finding out about myself, finding out why I do what I do, that is important. If I can grow and be a better person and help others with what I find out, that is important. I have a compulsive personally, I think. I have always used a crutch it seems to me. I used cigarettes as a crutch. I put them down. I have used sweets as a crutch as far back as I can remember and now I am putting them down. Hey maybe I can stand on my on two feet and take responsibly for my actions. This still seems strange a grown women abscessing over sweets. The experts said you don't have withdrawals over sweets but I think I disagree. I'm having something.
Writing this blog helps. It lets you face a lot of things.
I think for a long time I have been punishing people for not accepting me as I am. Surprise, I did not hurt anyone but myself. Since I can remember its always been, be this size or I won't be proud of you, if you gain weight you can't have any new clothes, I won't put up with a over weight woman, etc. Its like will you love me at this size, this size, this size and on and on until I reached 340 pounds. Who did I hurt? What did I prove!! Now is the time to stand up and be proud of me, get healthy, have a loving spirit to help others and stop feeling sorry for myself, just do something positive for me.