DOLLBABE56   63,249
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Head in the sand

Sunday, January 12, 2014

I've been living with my head in the sand. At least for the past year. I've gained over 20 lbs. since last June. It has been too hard to stay motivated. It's stupid to say this, but I have regressed to binge eating. Something I had thought I'd gotten past. I guess I've been depressed. Come to think of it, the weight started going up after my dr. upped one of my medicines last June. Then, I was put on 2 other meds. by October. But I can't blame it on that. I just gave up and over ate what I wanted.

You know what? It's not good to go to the coffee shop and get a "small" latte and 2 chocolate chunk cookies - and on the way back to work, devouring both cookies so no one knows. Who would have thought that, right? Hey, I did it soooo many times the past few months.

So here I am, up to 185.2 lbs. on January 12, 2014. Never in my wildest dreams/nightmares had I ever dreamed I'd weigh this much. I am so ashamed of myself. I am going to lose this weight the right way by taking it one minute at a time. I am not going to put pressure on myself by setting a "deadline". What I really want is to lose 40 lbs. So, I am back to Spark. I don't know what else I can say, except I am going to try hard to make this work.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUNSET09 1/16/2014 5:05AM

  emoticon and it only take one minute at a time to become an hour, hour makes a day and so and so forth. To thine own self be true! When we don't think "people" know, they do notice. We all have to go through, to get to. It's been a learning experience for you and now, to make the life style change. We are here for you! emoticon emoticon in 2014! emoticon emoticon

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LINDA! 1/13/2014 9:43PM

    Over the holidays, I also put on weight. It has been difficult for me to stop eating. I am exercising, drinking lots of water...but until I can get the food under control I am not going to lose.

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CHERIJ16 1/13/2014 8:14AM

    I am in the same boat! I have been sloppy in my food choices since last Fall and the holidays were even worse. Now I have put on 7 pounds that I didn't want to see again. I like the idea of 1 minute at a time. So let's do it! emoticon





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ELAINESHAFF 1/13/2014 8:06AM

    We all have been there at one time or another. You realize the situation and are willing to do something about it. Stay strong and take it one minute at a time.
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MARTHA-ANN 1/13/2014 4:51AM

    We've all been through it at one time or another, Spak will get you motivated again emoticon

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JAXMOMMY 1/12/2014 8:50PM

    Meds can certainly affect hunger and such. I know I am retaining much more water since my doc switched one of my meds! But, you are right... It all boils down to the choices we make!I like how you said you would do it one minute at a time. That's what it takes... Not 1 day, not 1 week, but 1 minute, 1 second, 1 small incriment at a time again and again! You can do it! Visit the Mixed Mutt Team for encouragement and support! We are here for you and we get it!

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In Pain and Depressed

Monday, November 04, 2013

Within the past few months my arthritis has started getting worse. At the end of the day when I get home from work, (no matter what shoes I wear) I can barely walk because my feet hurt so bad and my legs feel like lead. My hands are changing too, fingers are turning. The dr. did blood work and found out a month ago that my thyroid is low, so I'm on ANOTHER medicine. I feel I am in limbo, and sinking fast. I have osteoarthritis and fibromyalgia, but I am afraid of getting Rheumatoid Arthritis. I watched my mom suffer with it for over 20 years.

Last week I weighed in at 179.2 lbs. I have gained about 15 lbs. since spring. I have absolutely NO willpower. Don't exercise anymore, except for walking Poppet around the block. I have to wonder if my feet and legs are hurting because I weigh so much now. I HAVE NEVER WEIGHED AS MUCH AS I DO NOW! I am so depressed.

I know how to get it off. I've been dieting since I was 10 years old. Know all the diets in the book. Know too much about diets. Know too much about how many calories are in foods. It's like I am rebelling against sooooo many years of watching what I ate, that I just can't face it anymore.

Today I am going to do some upper body exercises. I once read one of IDNYGIRL's blogs about exercise and do what exercise you can. I'm going to try taking her advice. Baby steps I guess.

I guess I'm just rambling.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MT-MOONCHASER 11/10/2013 2:54PM

    I, too, have been gaining back weight. I am up about 10 pounds from my lowest and have been noticing some pain in my knees when I do stairs. I live in a two-level house and bedroom and bath are upstairs so there is no way to cut out doing stairs!

When I first started Spark I had been having knee pain and after I lost about 5 pounds it pretty much went away, so I have to think that the weight gain was a big part of the onset of the pain in my case.

I am starting to get back into the Spark groove and have been doing fairly well most days until I get home from work. Then I tend to just grab the easiest thing to snack on while I get my supper ready. Often the snack choices and supper choices are not very good since I didn't plan ahead and have healthy choices picked out or prepared.

I feel that planning will be the key to my success.

I have been doing Leslie Sansone's Walk Away the Pounds DVD's since there is not a gym close by and the conditions for outside exercise are pretty marginal at best. I was able to do some outside walking this summer. Right now I have a cardio streak of at least 10 minutes a day going -- I'm at 312 days.

Do what you can. Keep this in mind --- "Baby steps. Leaping in wears you out. Then you quit." ~Indygirl

You might check out her Spark Team --

www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/gro
ups_individual.asp?gid=50783

She is quite inspiring.

Good luck!

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MARTHA-ANN 11/6/2013 10:59AM

    Hi, nice to see you back.
Take things slowly and you'll get there.

I have osteo and psoriatic arthritis in my knee and ankle, on top of that I have a recently broken kneecap too...lol...I do Spark chair exercises and try to keep walking so my knee doestn't stiffen.
I had x-rays and an MRI scan last week to see if I need a new knee or if it can be repaired but I was recently diagnosed as being allergic to artificial sweeteners and over the past seven weeks, since I've been off them, the diffierence in energy levels, pain etc. is fantastic. I feel loads better, stronger and so energised and sleep much better than I have for years too.

Hang on in there emoticon

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LEANJEAN6 11/6/2013 8:24AM

    No---You're not just rambling---I've been there---The thyroid being low will give you sore legs----good thing they treated that--also will make you depressed--also the Fibro----but----you can move a bit-----move more when you feel better---I have a low thyroid too----had it several yrs---am on the verge of diabetes---
I haven't seen you on here in ages, so it's good to see you now.
Why don't you stop looking at this as a diet--just a healthy way to live---
You will feel better--It took me a couple yrs to crawl out of the doldrums when I had thyroid----You can feel better --it just takes a wee time!-Lynda

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CAKAROO 11/5/2013 5:49AM

    emoticon emoticon

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PUNCHILOUIE 11/4/2013 12:37PM

    give yourself a rest from diets, think in terms of a new lifestyle, like exercising more, one more block, one more different thing from your routine, think in terms of what would you do if you were in a different situation? what do you want to do, a new hobby, a new book, a new dress, something to spark you? talk to your doctor, be ask tobe referred to a cognitive therapist, we all need help once in a while, reach for that help!!!Take care!

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CHOCOHOLIC2276 11/4/2013 12:32PM

    I'm sorry you're in pain. Try to do the chair exercises. Build up slowly and pat yourself on the back for every good step. This isn't a race, go at your pace and you'll get back to a healthier you. Hopefully the weight loss will ease the pain too....

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SKINNYSTRUMMER 11/4/2013 11:53AM

    I started 'the Plan' in September. I hear of it helping arthritis. I feel a lot stronger and am sleeping better then I have in years, which has define it'll helped me with depression.

Hang in there!

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JAXMOMMY 11/4/2013 11:43AM

    Try some of SP's chair exercises. They have an ab workout, an arm workout and a cardio workout all done from a chair! Move what you can. I have OA and know it hurts to move, but moving also makes it better in the end! Also, jessicasmithtv.com has a couple chair workouts. I've been depressed too and really do find that exercise helps my mood too! I wish you success in overcoming this depression and a significant decrease in your pain!

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ENG_TV 11/4/2013 10:54AM

    Any movement is good, and often those little changes for a short time help ease the pain. It sure does work for the spirit. We're here to encourage you. Hugs.

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SAMMIESMOM13 11/4/2013 10:18AM

    I know what you mean about being tired of watching what you eat all the time and counting calories. It does get so tiring, and then with pain and health issues it's just that much worse. Can you maybe do some chair type exercises added to your walk, even while you're watching tv or something? Maybe lift soup cans during each commercial? Something like that. Just slowly work into adding more, try and make it easy? I'll say some prayers for you too. God bless.

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1CRAZYDOG 11/4/2013 9:10AM

    (((((HUGS)))))) You're right about the weight for sure, because every 10 lb. of weight creates four times that weight per square inch on the knees . . . meaning OUCH with excess weight. Been there, done that. DEFINITELY do even 5 minutes of what you can and build. Just do something, as INDYGIRL advises. Wise words.

Have you considered it could be the foods you're eating that you're reacting to?

Google reactive foods. Might help.

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MJRVIC2000 11/4/2013 8:27AM

    Jesus said in Matt 11:28, "Come unto me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." God Bless YOU! Vic.

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Figure it out

Tuesday, July 09, 2013

Today I didn't do as well with my food choices/calories. I did great yesterday.
I've got to forge a plan.

Today:

I did track ALL my calories.
I didn't plan out/track all my meals this morning, which meant when I came home for lunch, I ate too much. Not all healthy either.
I did walk Poppet 2x's.
I did exercise this evening with dh.

All in all, today wasn't a total wash.

I'm trying to figure out what I need to do. One thing that I need to do, is do my meal tracking before I start the day. Get everything planned out. This starts tomorrow morning.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JOHNTJ1 7/11/2013 9:32AM

    Good advice!!! I need to do more food planning than I do. I always have a rough idea of what I'm eating for the day but when I have a plan set in concrete things go much smoother.

Putting it all together can be a real challenge, but you're up for it!!!

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MARTHA-ANN 7/10/2013 7:52AM

    emoticon emoticon

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FERRETLOVER1 7/10/2013 7:02AM

    Keep on experimenting until you figure out what works the best for you - emoticon

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CAKAROO 7/10/2013 6:23AM

    emoticon

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LINOVER 7/9/2013 9:53PM

    Just hang in there and keep trying! You will always find support on the Spark People website! emoticon

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STEVEN_D 7/9/2013 9:34PM

    For me just being consistent is a big help. Even on really bad days I know there is support for what I'm going through here. Keep going!

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Not weighing in every week has been a mistake

Tuesday, July 02, 2013

I didn't weigh myself for 2 weeks. In those 2 weeks I started out positive, watching what I ate, and began simple exercising. Well...... that didn't last long. If I had weighed myself after the 1st week, I may have thwarted the mindless eating that happened the 2nd week.

Okay, I realize this. I weighed in Sunday, and was about the same as I was 2 weeks ago. I know if I had weighed a week ago the numbers might have been better. Why do I sabotage myself like this? I wonder, should I concentrate more on the healthy eating at first? Add exercise after a week or 2 to give myself a chance to get the eating under control 1st? I don't know..... Maybe not. Exercise helps in more ways that just expending calories. It is also a stress reliever. I think I just answered my own question.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IMREITE 7/4/2013 2:10AM

    i try to make sure i only weigh in 1 time a week so i dont get overly stressed. if i miss a week then i lose my motivation and focus.

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LINDA! 7/3/2013 12:59PM

    I know how difficult it is. Especially when we are "set in our ways" of eating. I heard a fitness trainer recently say just drop your calories by 200 daily and you can see major weight loss within a year. It also still helps to exercise but find something that you enjoy doing. You are more likely to keep exercising if it is fun.

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3016DEBRA 7/2/2013 1:25PM

  You really do know what you have to do, and the lovely thing is...YOU CAN!!! emoticon

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WADINGMOOSE 7/2/2013 12:39PM

    I should probably weigh myself less than I do :) I do find that I do my best when I'm tracking things here. If I eat within my calorie range and reach my exercise goals, I shrink. I refuse to talk about the scale right now because it isn't going down, but my size is and I know the scale will.

I think you answered your own question, but if you're not tracking your food here that may help more than the scale. Especially if the scale doesn't move and you think it should. Not that I'm bitter or anything... emoticon

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JLLOVETT 7/2/2013 11:42AM

    Awareness is a major part of any discipline!

emoticon emoticon

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JOHNTJ1 7/2/2013 11:35AM

    A few years back I took an exercise class and one of the challenges we faced was holding a perfect plank for 15 seconds. I'd always scoot my butt up in the air so I wouldn't collapse on the mat. The instructor leaned over to me one morning and whispered: "The only person you are cheating John is yourself." I've never quite forgotten those words.

I to, skip weigh ins, especially when I KNOW the outcome wont be a positive one. For me, its being consistent and facing the music, whether its a happy dance or a funeral dirge

Much Love

John

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NANCYPAT1 7/2/2013 10:47AM

    You did answer your own question - maybe you could think of a way to focus on one thing in each area. I am with you about the EXTRA benefits of exercise - for me it helps me sleep, relaxes me, de-stresses me, gives me a place to socialize, and provides me with exercise PLUS it is FUN.

Try to pick one or two things you might like to do to improve your eating and PLAN for them. Put a bowl of fresh fruit on the counter or table to tempt you to take a piece instead of something less healthy. Keep healthy snacks in single portion packs (make your own - simple take the big bag and portion it out when you get home with it) - even if you end up getting a second bag, it is ONLY 2 portions and not the entire bag. Add a salad or soup before your meal (about 20-30 minutes) to fill you up faster, keep you full longer and research shows that on average, people eat as much as 1/3 FEWER calories when they do that.

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CHANGE4FIT 7/2/2013 10:31AM

    Your free flow of thought is enlightening to us all. I like to weigh in most days. I understand that I am not defined by the scale and that fluctuations in fluid affect the number on such a frequent basis. However, I also like data. I enter my values on a spreadsheet that plots to a graph and like to look over time for trends in the way I "release" weight. I have discovered so many non scale measures in my journey, but I do like the accountability the scale provides. I guess we all have to find the right mix of information to aid us along the way. Best to you on your journey!
PJ emoticon

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PYNETREE 7/2/2013 8:29AM

    Yep, you answered your own question! See, YOU KNOW what you should be doing. Just take one step in the right direction every, meal, every day!
As soon as you wake up start to stretch, yes, in bed! Then, stretch when you're walking to the bathroom. emoticon Drink a glass of water..yes, before breakfast. emoticon
Then be aware of what you are eating..and drink water in between meals. Plan 10 minutes of exercise into your morning..and afternoon...and then in the evening.
And pick a day to weigh yourself.
Just do it all in small easy steps. emoticon

You Know what to do, You've got this!! emoticon

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FERRETLOVER1 7/2/2013 8:14AM

    As much as we don't like to admit it, that scale and a weekly weigh-in are vital parts of a successful weight loss program.

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RADIATIONMAMA 7/2/2013 7:58AM

  Great job on starting the exercise and healthy eating! Thinking about being healthy and taking the plunge is the first step. Now you are trying to find out the way that works best for you. There are a lot of suggestions out there for sure. It might be best to start with something that you know that you can achieve and then build on that. This might mean starting with 3-4 goals or starting with one until you have it down and then slowly adding others. Good luck and don't get discouraged! We are rooting for you!

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Today was a challenge

Monday, June 24, 2013

I'm still being positive, but I have to admit that today challenged me. Monday's are my day off. Today I took Poppet (my dog) and Teazer (my cat) to the vet. First time taking them together. That wasn't bad at all. However, the "girls" both have issues. Poppet has arthritis, and her gums are receding. She has other, ongoing issues too. Teazer's gums have not improved after being on antibiotics, so we are going to try a medication that I will rub on her gums and teeth.

Ok, that was first. I had a good breakfast before going to the vet. Came home, had a nice lunch. A nice fruit snack later. Then.... I WANTED SOMETHING TO MUNCH ON!!! SOMETHING EITHER SALTY OR CHOCOLATEY. I didn't give in. Oh boy, I sure could have, but I didn't. I didn't want to undo what I've been working so hard at. It's hard changing old habits. I could've had carrots or something else healthy, but I know that if I eat ANYTHING when I'm in that frame of mind I will overeat. And I don't mean good healthy food, either.

So, instead of eating mindlessly I took a short nap. I felt so much better. It's amazing what a short nap can do. Then I got up and did some cleaning. I feel good, and I am proud that I didn't give in.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AVANDREA_ 6/25/2013 11:08AM

    Its so hard to not give in, but so worth it in the end! Well done! emoticon

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JOHNTJ1 6/25/2013 8:20AM

    "That which does not kill me only makes me stronger."

You are learning, as we all do really valuable lesson here that will sustain you when the going gets tough

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MARTHA-ANN 6/25/2013 1:39AM

    Congratulations on not giving in to a craving, I did just that today with a small bar of chocolate I bought for my grand daughter...thankfully it was only a small one...lol.. emoticon I think I'll try taking a nap from now on!

Comment edited on: 6/25/2013 1:40:15 AM

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PEG2584 6/24/2013 11:03PM

    Man, you did fantastic! You probably did much better than I would have done.
emoticon emoticon

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SLIMPAM23 6/24/2013 9:03PM

    I give you a TON of credit for taking both of the girls together. I am just not that brave!!
And CONGRATS for waiting out that mindless eating today! Good job. I wish I could occasionally take a short nap - but they don't work for me!!
Hope the rest of your week is just as successful!!
Pam

Comment edited on: 6/24/2013 9:04:28 PM

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MAESTRACH 6/24/2013 8:45PM

    Sorry to hear that the kids check up didn't go as well as hoped. Glad you had the presence of mind to take a nap. That never would have occurred to me. Keep up the great work

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YOYONOMORE1 6/24/2013 8:37PM

    Congratulations on not giving in to those urges for something salty or chocolatey. I know how hard that can be. Our cat, Mario, is almost done with his antibiotics, he had a urinary infection, he's doing lots better. Hope your pets improve. Have a good evening.

Hugs,
Shirl

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