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patterns and knowledge

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

so today was a borderline bad day for me... went over my calories by 200 and missed my fitness goals by about 10 minutes or so. still... i was SO VERY CLOSE to going CRAZY and i caught myself. i made myself go to a tax return meeting and a study group... AWAy from the kitchen and i caught myself.

looking at my feedback report... i saw that low calories earlier in the week meant HIGH calories today... high fat, high carb and loooooow protein. i know we all know this.. its all thats said and written everywhere but it was just a huuuuuge eye opener to see it in black and white, tracked out on a graph (i mean i am a scientist after all :p haha)

anyways... im not going to feel bad about eating a little over today because my other days compensated for it. i feel like im taking control and looking forward to tomorrow and challenging myself to exert more control tomorrow. start off every meal with protein and then work in the carbs/fat later. wish me luck!

and of course... thank you sparkers... i wish i had enough time to post on everyones wall and send out goodies to all of you because you guys are incredible... encouraging me throughout my lows and my silliness/irrationality. it means a lot.. i can't say it enough :)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PBNURSE11 2/27/2010 12:32PM

    I love "because Im a scientist." haha! I graph everything I eat too, direct correlations, I'll have a really low carb day (and be so proud) and the next day it's like I'm on a sugar mission! I tell myself it all balances out....err. ;)

Have a good weekend!

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SWEETLEXIE520 2/18/2010 4:53PM

    Great job recognizing what was happening and why it was happening (low calories earlier in the week)! You're getting stronger every time you decide to keep on going!

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MARCHEM 2/18/2010 12:57PM

    One thing you might want to focus on is why do you binge? Is it stress, boredom, etc.? I find when I'm stressed I eat more. To combat that, I acknowledge my stress and then try to do something other than eating. This may be go for a walk, drink some water, take a deep breath, eat a piece of gum, etc. Also, I don't deny myself certain foods. I still eat something sweet every day and I usually stay within my calorie guidelines (I ate chocolate chip cookies and was under 1300 calories for the day). I avoid salty snacks, because I can't stopy once I start. Figure out what you're triggers are and work to avoid them. emoticon

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IFLYWTHBRKNWNGS 2/18/2010 9:02AM

    Its okay to have a bad day. Don't let it get you down, just think about tomorrow and do your best!



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DAWN788 2/18/2010 12:11AM

    gaaaaa i just wrote you a whole long comment and deleted it by accident emoticon

I think what happened today is totally ok. your body needed those foods and you gave it to them. I don't think it's a problem as long as it's the exception and not a habit. It's exactly what I did and said that day I ate all the peanut butter. And I'm pretty sure I lost weight that day.
emoticon

If we don't allow ourselves days like this, we're pretty much screwed. No one can eat perfect 24/7 365. Just get right back on track and it'll probably be more of a good thing than harmful.

and I wish I had more time to chat too lol I WILL find a day to devote to spark soon. I have no idea when, but i will lol i miss being such an active sparker, but now i only have time for routine updates and quick check-ins. booo. but im glad we're both making an effort :-) ttys

Comment edited on: 2/18/2010 12:11:59 AM

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new start

Sunday, February 14, 2010

after reading about how well all my other sparkers are doing (esp those who joined around the same time)

i weighed myself... not good. 155.2. i think im gonna weigh myself daily. i guess everythings caught up to me. ugh im so gross

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IFLYWTHBRKNWNGS 2/18/2010 9:07AM

    We all lose at different rates. I have been on here since January 3rd and haven't lost but a pound or so, and still fluctuate.

Don't put too much stress on yourself. This is about changing your lifestyle and still enjoying life and food and exercise. If you overkill it you may get frustrated (I know, cause I did that the first time I tried SP)

And, the scale really can be a bad thing. Once a week is the only time I will do it, because I used to jump on it every day and I noticed that would affect how my day went. If I was down a pound I would be very into my plan and exercising, but if I went up I was frustrated and gave up that day. I would eat bad because I felt like it didn't matter anyway.

And, also keep in mind that muscle weighs more than fat, so if you are working out and not seeing results on the scale, try measuring yourself. That will be more accurate on fat you've lost.


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LIFEASMRSA 2/17/2010 3:56PM

    YOU ARE NOT GROSS!!! everyone goes at their own pace.

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SIRCATNIP1 2/17/2010 12:45PM

    Don't weigh yourself daily unless you can learn to roll with the number. You can do this!

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AHAPPYLIFE 2/14/2010 9:39PM

    I've been on many diets over the course of 34 years. This is the first time I've joined a program and have concentrated on my health instead of the scales. Yes, I do weigh and wgt loss is a great side effect but what's better is that I'm making a change to live better, happier, more fulfilled, and hopefully a lot longer.

Try not to be so hard on yourself. This is life, we all trip up a little now and then. Would you be this hard on your best friend or sister? If not, then why so hard on yourself?

Wishing you the best of health,
Melissa

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ALANG219 2/14/2010 3:09PM

    Weighing daily can sabatoge your efforts. We are women and our weight can fluctuate 3-5 pounds in a single day (let alone monthly issues).

You can not compare yourself to anyone else. People lose at different rates depending upon exercise, fitness levels, how far from goal, what the goal is, etc....

Each day is a new day and a new opportunity to do something special for yourself. Try to do one thing for yourself today. Tomorrow do 2 things. emoticon

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SWEETLEXIE520 2/14/2010 2:01PM

    Don't forget yesterday's blog! Sure, you had a set back, but you've also started fresh. Don't look back, just think about how much you want to accomplish apart from the weight loss and get excited about it! It will definitely spill over.

Big hugs!!

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no more woe is me

Saturday, February 13, 2010

okay spark friends....

first of all... thank you soooo much for helping me during my woe is me moments. im not gonna lie... ive been a ball of woe is me moments and no more.

im sick and tired of feeling like i dont have control over my life. yesterday i scrubbed in on a tumor removal from the BRAIN and it was just amazing. to be standing there... having a pulsing brain just inches from my face... there are no words to describe it. i definitely feel like that is what i want for myself... to be able to do that on my own someday. i dont want to waste my time feelign sorry for myself because in reality... i have nothing to feel bad about. yah sure im packing it in the back more than id like... but its something i can take care of. i dont want my weight obsession to take over my energies anymore!

from now on... im going to be more positive. refocus myself on my studies and just let the emotions detach from the weight issues naturally... and just let my body get back to where it naturally wants to be.

thanks sparkers!! i feel really safe here and it means a lot to me to be able to express myself here :)

much love!

  


close call

Saturday, February 13, 2010

had a morning binge... maybe about 1000 cals again... my roomies are all gone and it got dangerous for me. i just kept on telling myself.. challenge yourself not to do it dont do it... so i just took a bath and read a book and i feel so much better. i think i beat the attack guys!

  


oy vey...

Friday, February 12, 2010

so i pretty much have not been on my diet since the dinner party... and my cals have gone waaaay up with pretty frequent (estimating) 1000+ binges and no change in weight. its confusing...

i feel pretty gross right now... and super disappointed with myself.

im really sad and i just need to adopt a new attitude. it hink seeing the 25+ drop is so intimidating for me. ithink im gonna change my goal to just dropping 5 lbs.. and taking it a few weeks at a time. right now i just dont feel like ihave the strength to do this... hopefully i after i gain some momentum i will be able to do this

  


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