Friday, January 29, 2010
Seriously. This week was bad. Extremely bad. I let the work stress get the best of me. I let the PMS get the best of me. I let the sleep deprivation get the best of me. I let my tiny injury get the best of me. It was just a crappy horrible week!
So let's start out small. My toe. Yes, true I broke my toe. So I decided since I couldn't get it into my shoe that was it? Seriously? Like I couldn't do yoga barefoot or something? What an excuse... what a lame excuse to not workout all darn week long.
Sleep deprivation. Yeah, it sucks. Yes, I understand that in order for me to be healthy I should listen to my body and get rest, and blah, blah, blah, blah. Most mothers do not get a full night sleep until their kids move out of the house. You wake to every sound. This is not an excuse. Xavier has been only waking once each night now. After he eats it's right back to sleep for him. What is an extra half hour. Pushing snooze, telling myself just 5 more minutes every morning. Which turns into another 5 and another... well you get the picture. Basically not getting my butt out of bed when my alarm goes off. Another totally lame excuse to not workout.
So yeah PMS. I was very lucky to have gone without Aunt Flow for several months after having Xavier. Last month was the first, horrible! This was the second and yeah, it was bad. An excuse.. yeah, I used it. To eat like crap. Lay around and do nothing. The cramps are bad, yeah. But it's been proven that movement helps. It's also proven that eating crap only makes it worse. So, yeah I ate like crap and didn't work out. Horrible week! Hell yes. I hate this week! To top it off I am being a total B!+@# to my husband. Great. Emotional mess. That's me this week.
Oh, let's not forget work. The real kicker. Not sure if I have really even explained my whole work thing to you all yet. So right before Christmas I am told that I have been chosen to take on a huge new task at work. Back up.... let me explain what I do. I manage a group of sales associates for a high scale hotel chain. Basically you call the number for reservations and get one of my associates. So I managed a group of about 25 people and a team of 8 supervisors. So, the new task. Another center in Canada is closing. Rather then telling each of those people that they are SOL and to find a new job- they were each given the opportunity to work from home. My job. To manage this group of associates, working out of their homes in Canada. Yeah, this has never been done before. So it's up to me to work out the kinks. Learn Canadian law, set up policies and manage a team of 50 people all on my own. Suh-weet (sense the sarcasm?)! Yeah, it's stressful. I wake up in the middle of the night with a new thing that we have not even thought of and how it will work. It's just a lot. I am overwhelmed. But I need to separate my work life from home life. I need to check it at the door. Really.. what does my work have to do with working out and eating right? Nothing.
So that's that. I just laid it all out there. All of my excuses and I am so disappointed in myself. I let it all get to me. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I am so afraid to see what this week did to me on the scale. Guess I will see in the morning- just face the music and that's that. NO MORE! Waking up early tomorrow morning back on routine! Who is going to stop me? Not me! I am going to fight this mental block! I know I am capable of doing this! Hell, I had a baby. Lord knows if I can have a baby, I can do this.
Thanks for reading my rambling long blog. I just needed a mental butt kicking is all.