Tuesday, December 14, 2010
I am still alive. That is basically it. I have not been eating well. I have not been working out. I have fallen off the wagon in a big way. I have not stepped on the scale in a month. I know I am just dreading the inevitable. I know I will not like what the scale has to tell me. I am afraid to face the consequences of my actions. My clothes are tight, so I know I have gained. I need to bite the bullet and get my act together in a big way. This time of year is horrible for so many reasons. Work is always hectic at this time of year, yet there is a pressure to make sure I have used all of my vacation time- because they don't let you roll it over into the next year. So when I am working, it's 10-12 hours a day. When I am home it's cleaning, taking care of Xavier and getting ready for Christmas... which I am not at all prepared for. Lots of family engagements, with really horribly fatty foods. The reality that we are facing a new year and I have not acheived my goal. It's all just depressing. Nobody to blame but myself. I know I am the only one who can make this change and I know that I need to do this for myself. Certainly easier said then done. Wow, this blog is a real downer. Sorry. Consider this my confession on a soap box. I will face the music and step on the scale first thing tomorrow morning. Then check back in with the damage that has been done.