DMORGAN1009   4,492
SparkPoints
4,000-5,499 SparkPoints
 
 
DMORGAN1009's Recent Blog Entries

Why am I so hard on myself?!?!

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

I have no idea what my problem is today! I lost 3.2 pounds this week, but I'm mad because I feel like I should have lost more. Why am I so hard on myself? I guess this is what you would call a mental roadblock eh?

Since I didn't lose what I wanted, I feel like I failed. Sounds stupid I know, but I worked my A$$ off last week! This is totally killing my motivation. Today I ate pizza and of course I overate because I was in the mindset that I "just don't care" and when I think of walking I think "why bother busting my butt just to lose a little bit."

I'm not giving up, even though right now I really feel like it. I guess this is what my sparkfriends call "down moments."

I wish I wasn't so hard on myself! I need to focus on the positives right?

Well I'm positive that I want to keep losing, and as long as I don't completely sabotage myself I am still on track of making my first goal of losing 35 pounds by 10/22/11.

Has anyone else been in the same boat as I am in right now? Today is a day that I could really use support from my fellow sparkfriends.

Please Jesus, let me get back on track tomorrow and not let this snowball into a huge setback.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YINYANG93 8/19/2011 3:35PM

    I have definetly been there many times and I've always quit. Then I get mad at myself for giving up so fast. No one is harder on us more then ourselves. We expect to much to fast. It don't work that way. Take that extra step to push yourself. do you keep track of your measurments? Sometimes, if the weight is not coming off it's because inches are coming off instead. Don't always rely on the scale. It can be deceiving. Keep up the hard work. In time it will pay off. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BESTCK 8/18/2011 10:10AM

    OMG! I was in this same boat yesterday! I had bagels calling my name! And I ended up finding SparkPeople because I had lost my way after the great Jelly Bean sabotage of Easter 2011! Seriously, one bag of Jelly Beans and I was on a 3-month slide.

We all fall down and sometimes we all need help getting back up. There is no judgement here. Just don't stop trying. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LAURIE160IN2013 8/18/2011 12:40AM

    Read the success stories of people who have lost 40 pounds, 100 pounds.... How do you think they did it? One week at a time, one pound at a time. Now think about what will happen if you give up. Good luck--you can do this!

Report Inappropriate Comment
DMORGAN1009 8/17/2011 10:30PM

    Thanks you ladies for all your support! That was exactly what I needed today! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
AMBERHENLEY 8/17/2011 10:19PM

    3 pounds in a week is awesome! It may seem like a little bit, but it all adds up week after week. Tomorrow's a new day and you have the choice start it right. Make yourself a healthy breakfast and get some fitness in. That always boosts my spirits. I wish you all the best! Hang in there!


Report Inappropriate Comment
LISA.MARIA 8/17/2011 9:45PM

    3.3 lbs is awesome... don't cheat yourself out of acknowledging and celebrating every little success. And don't let your pizza splurge pull you off track completely! KEEP IT UP!!!!!!!
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
JLSPARKLES 8/17/2011 9:33PM

    emoticon
I know all too well how frustrating the scale can be. At most, on my most awesome week ever I lost two pounds.
Your 3.2 pounds ROCKS!! That is in ONE week, right? I think it's amazing.
We tend to let the scale dictate how accomplished we feel, but try to focus on hard you worked, how hard you pushed yourself and how much you deserve those 3.2 pounds.
Too many times we let the shows like Biggest Loser influence how we feel about our more "normal" weight loss...keep in mind- those people work out like eight hours a day, have trainers and chefs on hand and sometimes they can only pull a 5 pound loss.
Keep your chin up- you are doing awesome!

Report Inappropriate Comment
JONICACALDWELL 8/17/2011 9:28PM

    Keep it going! And be proud! A loss is a loss is a loss!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
FITWITHIN 8/17/2011 8:49PM

    One ounce, one inch, and one pound at a time all equal success. Yes, I know how you feel and I just brush the disappointment off and think about all the things I did right. This just may not be your week, but next week could show a larger number. Don't allow the emoticondictate your mood. Do you feel stronger and have more endurance? Is your energy level better? Has your confidence increased? These are signs of success and not just the numbers on the emoticon. Embrace and celebrate those hard earn 3 pounds. That's 3 pounds your not carrying around anymore. Be proud of what you have done.

Report Inappropriate Comment
BECKY3774 8/17/2011 8:43PM

    Heck yeah, three pounds is emoticon!!!! I haven't lost three pounds at once in FOREVER!!! Don't forget that muscle weighs more than fat...and you don't always see the numbers go down as much as the measurements. The scale and I are on a need to know basis.....when I feel I need to know, I'll weigh myself. If there isn't a change in numbers, I'm okay with it. It just makes me that much more motivated! I have been on spark now for about three months, and didn't even lose anything until this last month...so hang in there. Nothing worthwhile is going to be simple!

Comment edited on: 8/17/2011 8:43:43 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
ACCT1908 8/17/2011 8:23PM

    3lbs is AWESOME!! I wish for those kinds of losses! Hang in there!!

Report Inappropriate Comment


When Things Get Tough You Ride Or Die

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

My son is 9 years old, and this Fall he has decided to play JV Football for the first time. As I watch him practice, I just feel an overwhelming amount of pride. Practices are tough! Tougher than I could have ever imagined. Football has pushed him physically, mentally, and emotionally...just like my weight loss journey.

On his first day of practice I grabbed him by the helmet and told him to go out there and give it all he had. I also told him to be a fighter and that no matter what I was proud of him. He then looked at me and said, "mom you too."

My son understands that weight loss has been difficult for me. He has also seen me try different diets, make different promises and give up when things got tough. When he found out that I lost 4.5 pounds this week he smiled at me and gave me a huge hug. I was nearly in tears to see that a 9 year old boy could relate to the things that I was going through.

I have made him a promise, that this time I will not give up. I will continue to fight no matter what and I will become a healthier me for myself and for him & his sister. I also promised him that I would try my best to lose enough weight by next summer so that I can take him to the one place he has always wanted to go but I couldn't take him, Cedar Point.

As I reflect on our conversation, I am grateful to have such wonderful children who love me no matter what size I am. In reality though, my children will always need me and if my life ends even one day early because I don't do this I will never forgive myself.

On days I am weak, I will picture my son on the field giving it everything he has and I will do the same because we have to be fighters together. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAYPRIME 8/17/2011 12:58PM

    aww! My heart just melted. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KACYISWINNING 8/17/2011 9:51AM

    Beautiful blog and good bless you and you family! You can do this, we're all rootin for ya! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ACCT1908 8/17/2011 9:19AM

    That's awesome!! You can do this!

Report Inappropriate Comment
JONICACALDWELL 8/16/2011 10:18PM

    Fantastic! Keep on it and you'll be a hot mom in time!

Report Inappropriate Comment
BECKY3774 8/16/2011 10:12PM

    Sounds like you have a fantastic son! He got his huge heart from someone, right? YOU!!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment


My 1st week

Sunday, August 14, 2011

This week has been amazing! I am so glad that I joined Sparkpeople.com!

In the past week:

I have rode my bike 3 miles
I have walked a total of 11 miles
I have followed my calories
I have not felt like I have deprived myself of anything
Half way through the week I had already lost 4.5 pounds
I have started drinking water
I have tracked all the food that has entered my mouth
I have motivation that I have never had before in my life!
I have gained support from my mom, kids, boyfriend, and friends
I have started to feel more energy on a daily basis
I have been smoking less the more I exercise
I have learned the ins and outs of sparkpeople.com
I have learned never to give up
I have learned that with hard work I can do this!
I have learned that the weight loss surgery recommended by my surgeon is not for me

I will keep going until I lose it all, because I am a fighter and I want this more than I have ever wanted it before!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIVINGTHELIFE78 8/16/2011 12:49PM

    wow, what a fantastic week!

Report Inappropriate Comment
JUDYPOPPINS 8/16/2011 10:47AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
Good job!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
FINDINGDEE 8/15/2011 11:41PM

    Awesome! What a great first week! Very inspirational, way to go! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BECKY3774 8/15/2011 6:44AM

    I am not kidding when I say this............when I got to the part about you learning that weight loss surgery is not for you, I got tears in my eyes.

You are awesome!!! This site is an amazing place that once you find, and if you stick with it, can help to keep you on the right track. I have received SO much love and support over the last few months while I've been here, ESPECIALLY when I had to put my beloved cat down a month ago. Without the love of my spark friends, that experience would have been much harder than it already was. Spark gave me the place to write it all out....my feelings, struggles, and grief...and through that came healing.

I wish you the best of luck in this. I know that you can do it!!!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
EGR2BEME 8/14/2011 10:51PM

    So happy for you that you had a great week! Week two, here you come! All the best.


Report Inappropriate Comment
OPAL24GIRL 8/14/2011 10:47PM

    That's great

Report Inappropriate Comment


My Story

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

My name is Danielle Morgan, Iím 31 years old and this is my story.

I started gaining weight as a young child. It was during grade school, that I became noticeable larger than the other students. As my weight became a concern, I noticed that the other children began teasing me. Little did I know that this was just the start of a teasing that would continue into Jr. High, High school, and even into my adult life. The situation was similar at home. My older brother used my weight as ammunition in our childhood tiffs, and my father constantly reminded me that I was different from other girls my age. My father acted as though my weight was an embarrassment to him and his friends. The emotional abuse from my brother and father continued for many years. My mother was more understanding, but as my weight continued to be an issue she agreed with my father and placed me into the Weight Watchers program at the age of 13. As if Jr. High wasnít a big enough change for a 13 year old, I tried my best to follow the program and I lost a little weight, but eventually I started finding ways to hide my over-eating habits from my parents and the program was no longer effective.

By the time I graduated high school in 1998, I felt like I was huge! I suppose it was all the constant pressure and teasing that students and my parents placed on me. In all reality, I was only about 30 pounds overweight on my graduation day. Looking back I shake my head in disgust, because with the support of friends and family I could have easily achieved a healthy weight.

As an adult I have sort of become accustomed to the hurtful things that kids and other adults say to me. Having others call me fat, disgusting, or gross just roll off my back nowadays. Iím even used to kids asking me when I am having a baby, when actually I am not even pregnant.

A few years back I confronted my father and put my foot down to the emotionally damaging things he would say about my weight. I explained to him how I felt my whole life because of the things he would say and I gave him an ultimatum to both support and accept me, or to leave my life. Thankfully he changed, and since our relationship has flourished.

Oddly, even with an emotionally damaging childhood I have accepted my body for what it is, know that I am beautiful, and portray more confidence than otherís in my predicament.

Iím not new to this, I know that I am over-weight, and I know that my eating habits are out of control. During the last 10 years I have tried losing weight by following the Weight Watchers Program, and the BCN-Get Fit Program. Unfortunately, these programs didnít work for me long term. I lost a little weight, but eventually fell off the band-wagon and gained it all back, plus some!

Honestly, a few years back I considered having weight loss surgery, but I was confident that if I wanted it bad enough that I could lose the weight on my own. Obviously, that didnít work for me or I wouldnít be writing this letter!

Since May 2010, I have gained nearly 90 pounds. I attribute some of the weight gain to losing my job last year and having access to food pretty much 24/7. As I packed on the pounds the past year, everyday things started to become difficult. Taking laundry from upstairs to the basement leaves me out of breath, putting on shoes and socks takes nearly 20 minutes to put on and I have to prop my legs on my bed to accomplish it. Trying to remain active with my 2 children has also become a concern for me. How can I teach them to be active if I canít ride a bike with them, or be on my feet very long before the swelling begins and I become extremely fatigued. All of these scenarios forced me to reflect on my weight and how it has severely affected the life that I want to live. No one should have to be 31 years old and weigh nearly 400 pounds. No one should have to live that way and starting now, I am going to do everything I can to change that for myself.


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YELLOWCORVETTE 8/16/2011 11:42AM

    thank you for sharing your story. I too have been overweight since I was a child. As mine wasnt a huge problem i was still made fun of as well. The kids at school werent as horrible as my own sister and brother who would ask when my baby was due. My dad is close to 400 pds so he never said anyhting but my mom and dad never stopped my sister and brother. I was fine with my weight at 182 2 1/2 yrs ago. It wasnt until i had my daughter that I gained 60 pds within 6 months. I remember going to a water park with my hubby that i realized i had gained a lot of weight and ppl there were making fun of me. It took 2 yrs for me to want to lose weight. I have been trying the last 2 yrs but i havent succeeded. I am glad to here your story is similar to mine and hope that we can motivate each other!

Report Inappropriate Comment
LIVINGTHELIFE78 8/16/2011 11:10AM

    We all have a back story and thank you for sharing yours. I'm so glad you found the courage to speak up to your dad and that it actually went well.

There's a lot of support here, use it and you will reach your goals!

Report Inappropriate Comment
JUDYPOPPINS 8/16/2011 10:46AM

    Thank you for sharing your story. You have no idea who you might have reached with that. So often we think our struggles are unique and that no one else understands. Having likeminded people to help you along your journey will make the journey easier. You are doing fantastic!!
You will reach your goals, you are a wonderful example.
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KEEPITUP05 8/15/2011 9:48PM

    Just keep at it and don't give up! SP are very supportive! Read, ask questions, login daily if possible. Add friends! Add me! I would love to cheer you on! :) emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PHOTO_MOM_1984 8/15/2011 4:03PM

    Danielle its sounds to me as if youve already achieved the hardest goals. Admitting your weaknesses and confronting your father. Weight loss is not going to be easy there will be up and downs both physically and emotionally. But, that is why you are here. To receive and give support. There are many valuable resources here that you will find useful. Congrats on making the first steps to success. We are all here to stand by you and help you achieve the rest of your goals. Keep up the awesome work!

Report Inappropriate Comment
JESSBRAUN 8/15/2011 12:31PM

    I think you're going to find a lot of support from others who have been (and still are) in your shoes. Everyone here is supportive and encouraging. Once I got on this website, I knew I'd make it and hopefully you feel the same way, too!

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BECKY3774 8/13/2011 4:45PM

    You inspire me already! Standing up to your dad must have been so hard for you, but you did it! I don't know that I could have done the same if I were in the same situation. My mom grew up with her dad (my grandpa) treating her that way, and she vowed to never do that to her kids, so it's ironic that it was a comment from her that set me in motion.....and it wasn't negative at all! It just hit me the right way at the right time, and I was off!!!

I want to welcome you to spark! It has been so amazing to me these last couple of months already, and I look forward to sharing this journey with you. Please reconsider the surgery. You can do it on your own. I just know that you can. I'm here to help you whenever you need it, as are so many others.......Anytime you need anything, just let me know how I can help you, and I will do my best! Thank you for sharing your motivational story with us.... emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SASKGIRL81 8/10/2011 10:13PM

    Welcome to sparkpeople! You definitely are not alone. Standing up to your dad must have taken a lot of guts and if you have the strength to do that you definitely have the strength to start this journey. Good luck and know that we're all here to cheer you on or to pick you up if you fall :) emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
FINDINGDEE 8/10/2011 9:28PM

    emoticon
Welcome! You can do this, and don't be afraid to ask for help along the way. I have just started back after gaining back a lot of weight and am now left with having to lose more than I ever have. What I'm going to do different this time is use the support on these boards, I'm going to ask for help. I've been cruising the boards a lot in the last few days and already I'm feeling like I'm not alone, and you aren't either there is tons of support here.

Report Inappropriate Comment
EGR2BEME 8/10/2011 9:22PM

    Welcome and wishing you all the best on this journey. You can do it...we all can - never give up! This website is awesome and a place to learn and be encouraged, motivated and supported.

When I am starting out, I try to focus on just one day at a time. That one day leads me to day 2 and so on. It does get easier!! And as you begin to feel better, that in and of itself is incredible motivation.

One day at a time!!

Ellen


Report Inappropriate Comment


First Page  1 2