Sunday, November 03, 2013
So since seeing the nephrologist, I am waiting for a kidney ultrasound to get scheduled and we will recheck my labs this week to see what they are. I've done well, didn't stress eat at all with everything going on. Been pretty down, just a lot on my mind, but still trying to get in my exercising when I can, and walking and eating what I should. Even when making treat bags for the kids for halloween, didn't do any nibbling - which actually shocked me! The nephrologist doesn't believe there would be any kind of cancer in the kidney... but the ultrasound would show if there is any tumors. I don't know if it is just me, but once you have a cancer diagnosis, when something else is wrong that is the first thing that goes thru my mind. So just waiting and trusting God in the meantime. Gonna keep on the losing trail one pound at a time.
Friday, October 18, 2013
Does it ever seem, like it is always something? I am a firm believer God will never give us more than we can handle, but lately I think He thinks I can handle a lot more than I do. I have had chronic kidney failure since being on prilosec for laryngopharygeal reflux. Never knew I had reflux, never had heartburn, just started with a cough that wouldn't stop after coughing non-stop for 3 months and being on meds for different things to try to stop it ie: sinus infection, bronchitis, finally was referred to ENT who did a scope and diagnosed me. Put me on the prilosec and carafate and gave me a list of things not to eat and after a couple of months the coughing stopped. A couple months later while doing routing labwork my primary care MD noticed my creatinine was creeping up. We continued to monitor it and it continued to go up. So I was referred to a nephrologist. He went over things and the only changes were the 2 meds and he said prilosec can cause interstitial nephritis which could be the cause of my rising creatinine. He took me off that and said we will watch it and see what happens before we do a kidney biopsy or anything, He did some 24 hour urine tests which did show some kidney damage based on some of the levels. After being off the prilosec, my creatinine slowly started decreasing. It finally leveled out, still higher than normal and my GFR that shows your kidney function ended up at 46, which was high level moderate chronic kidney failure. But everything stayed there. So he was happy, said stay off the prilosec, put me on zantac instead and for a year my kidney numbers have been stable. I go see him every 6 months, no real change, see you in another 6 months. Well, now I have moved and found new nephrologists, who said they couldn't get me in to be seen until after January (I was due in November). Ok, no biggie, figured I would wait on my 6 month labs till December when my primary care MD wanted other labs done. Monday the nephrologist called, they had gotten everything they needed from my nephrologist in FL and they could set me up for an appt on Oct 28. Ok.... now it was rush to order my labs and get them drawn. I got the results this morning and my creatinne has shot back up, it has been hanging 1.2 (they like it less than 1) now it is 1.52, and my GFR went from 46 to 38. Still just moderate chronic renal failure but less than 30 moves you to severe chronic renal failure. Not sure what is going on, and why things have changed. But I know I praise God that the appt got moved up and labs got done before December. I know stress is not good for trying to lose weight. I have been more achy, but been doing more exercising so attributed it to that. But muscle aching can also be a sign of kidney issues. I have always drank a ton of water so that has never been an issue. My urine test showed calcium oxylate crystals which I haven't had since I had hyperparathyroidism and had the one enlarged gland removed, but then my blood calcium was high and it is normal now. I am trusting God, and trying not to stress about the numbers. Even after my strokes they were fine, so I can't say I think the strokes affected them. When I had surgery for Uterine Cancer the surgeon looked around and didn't see where it looked like it had spread at all so she never took any lymph nodes to check. I am really praying, trying to trust God in all of this, and not be stressed by the change in numbers and not knowing what they mean. I would appreciate prayer for all of this. Anyway, God is good and He knows what is going on. I am going to keep doing what I need to which is focusing on trying to lose weight, but I think I will decrease my protein some just in case.
Anyway....thanks in advance for the prayers.
Monday, October 07, 2013
The day I was dreading!!!! Normally, I can handle the stress around me. Normally, I can count to 10 and defuse the situation that is blowing up. But today, I don't know why, all my defense mechanism's gave out. Suddenly, I couldn't handle the stress, everything I said was wrong, taken out of context, thrown back in my face. I tried offers of help and they were refused, I tried suggestions to make her feel better and they wouldn't work. I offered to take her for a ride around, just to get her out and that wasn't good enough. Since being here in July it hasn't happened. I have been able to work things out, and today finally I snapped!! Now, 3 Kit Kat Bar's and 3 Nestle Crunch Bar's and 2063 calories later, and I am wondering what have I done????? Tonight I will do 30 min on the exercise bike, to try to make up for it, and pray I haven't done too much damage to the progress I have made. And after a good long cry tonight, when everyone else goes to bed, I will go to sleep resolved to start again tomorrow and refuse to let someone bring me to the point where I lose control over choices I make. It didn't help the day, for the moment it tasted good, and I felt good eating it, but now, am in tears over it -- not worth it any longer. I had been posting my calories and fat and protein intakes as an accountability thing for one of the groups I am in... and I thought I can't post this... then I thought, I post the good days, I have to take accountability for today, so it is posted for all to see. Thankfully tomorrow is a new day. And a new start. Praise God for that.
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Today I went for a walk in the rose garden here. As I was walking, I was thinking how much I have to be thankful for. I'm thankful that I can walk, when with a brain stem stroke, many can't. I'm thankful that the Lord led me to find SparkPeople and for the many useful features of it. But most of all, I am thankful for the people who open themselves up, who share unashamedly about what is going on in their life, for those who have motivated me, and continue to. I'm thankful for the many who have taken time out of their own busy lives to answer questions or encourage me when I am discouraged. I'm thankful for the fellowship of members here, all on the same journey, in the many different places we are. So many of you have lifted me when the day was hard, when I wanted to give up, I knew I could go back and read IndyGirl's blogs and say THIS can work. No matter what is going on, whether it is good or bad, I know I can log onto SparkPeople and have SparkFriends to rejoice with, encourage me, or pick me back up. Each little note on my sparkpage, email, like of something I have said, or sparkgoodie I get makes me smile, makes me get on that bike, go for that walk - despite the pain, and leave that candy fridge that my mother has closed. So thank you dear SparkFriends, for weathering this journey and the trials it brings with me. Love to you all.
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