DIVINEROGUE's Recent Blog Entries

Short and sweet.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Today is the last day of my 38th year.

Last Monday I went and saw a band called Florence and the Machine. It was something akin to a spiritual experience for me.

Tonight I went and saw another favourite band - AFI.

I didn't work out - I danced. And I sang and I had a blast!

I strongly recommend that sometimes just throw caution to the wind and *live.* I mean really live!

Push yourself, do something you haven't done in a long time, put your crazy makeup on, go dancing, go to a club, find your bliss, just... do something and really *enjoy* it.

We're all spending so much time fretting over what the scale says, or how our jeans fit or whatever that we sometimes just lose sight of the fact that, even if we're packing too many pounds and our blood pressure is out of whack, we're still alive.

Last Monday and now tonight was just awesome for me. It reminded me of what it's like to have fun. To breathe. To actually *love* life.

So that's it. Nothing exciting. Nothing profound. Just... live. And have fun doing it.

Bring on my 39th year. I got carded, so even fat I must be looking somewhat good!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FAIRYTERN 11/13/2009 12:22AM

    When I worked bars my ife was a night life...got up at 11 am worked til the wee hours and social life was a nightclub afterwards 4 nights a week. After an adolesence of intense horseriding I needed high levels of activity and dancing was all I did and BOY did it work! Now I "dance" in fitness classes...you can't NOT move with music playing...'cet I wouldn't take 8 lbs. Dumbells to a gig :-P

I'm happy you had a great time...and more to come...get that photography going girl!

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MDICROCE 11/10/2009 11:44PM

  I feel that my mom is healthier than me, even though she is 30 years older, because she dances. Polka and waltzes mostly, but she is moving the whole 3 hours! And they always say it's not a *diet* it's a lifestyle change -- well, you are changing your life for the better! ENJOY!

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ZZYYGGY 11/10/2009 11:39PM

    Dancing is great fun. I agree live alot.

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A bit of a rut.

Thursday, November 05, 2009

I haven't been really inspired to write anything for a few days now. I haven't really been inspired to do much of anything lately.

I don't know if it's the weather, or the time change, or just my own apathy, but I've just not been doing... anything.

I need to get my groove back.

I don't really remember why I'm doing this at the moment. Oh I know I need to get healthy and "I want to live longer" blah, blah, blah. But right at this moment I don't care about all of that. I can't remember, I mean really remember, why I started on this journey again.

I don't think I've lost the map, but I sure as heck don't remember where I put it!

Maybe I just need a good night's sleep.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OFORTUNA 11/6/2009 11:54AM

    It's possible that the choice to do this wasn't a conscious decision, but just that you felt the inner pull toward healthier living? Sometimes when our spirits crave something, they nudge us in that direction, even if we don't completely understand what they're asking for.

I've been working very hard to reinforce the importance of having healthy habits that fill me up and build me up, rather than looking at far out goals that always seem to never quite happen the way I plan. It becomes really discouraging.

So maybe looking at the closer picture rather than this vague notion of "healthy" or "living longer" might help. The idea of developing positive habits, or faithfully tending to yourself spiritually and physically, or however clicks with you might be a better way to look at it? Maybe you'll be able to find your own keywords that click.


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FAIRYTERN 11/6/2009 12:19AM

    Hmmm....Thursday blahs? I had to quit 3/4 way thru Step sculpt tonight...woz on my feet ALL day and my feet were killing me...but I took that I even WENT for my pat on the back...

I also keep a pic of my best-ever-bikini moment (when I was 35 so not so long ago) on my fridge to remind me where I am going.

I also saw a 280 lb. client today who has let life defeat her...by the time I finished testing her and showed how she was actually much healthier (heart and muscle wise) than many clients I work with who look fit at face value, she told me she was inspired! She just needed to be in the company of positive people and learn some things she wouldn't ordinarily have access to (e.g. heart rate measures, back range of motion measures and competitive work performance measures).

What can you do for YOURself this week to prove (remind yourself that) you are AMAZING? Do that longer walk than normal? 15 minutes of dumbbell work while watching your fave show on TV? Or like me, actually manage to drag my ass outta bed early tomorrow morning to squeak out another dumbass report for another dumbass reason.


mbass emoticon

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DELALOU 11/5/2009 10:29PM

    It could be the time of year and the weather change. Shorter days and longer nights. I have a problem staying motivated and upbeat throught he first part of the fall season. I snap out of it and I hope if this is what is going on with you, you can do it too!!! Good Luck!!

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MARIA170 11/5/2009 10:14PM

  Watch the Biggest Loser! It's inspired me!

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Rainy day Wednesday...

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

I am so pooped this is going to be short.

The rain deterred me from wanting to get up for work, much let alone walk there.

I was late, but I brought my own lunch.

I had a horrible woman come in and start insulting me like I was some sort of idiot who didn't understand the English language (she actually asked me if I had a dictionary! Smart Alec that I am, I did have one and offered it to her because it seemed she needed it more than me).

I then was telling someone about this horrid woman when I was asked how old she was, "Oh, she was around my age give or take."

"Oh like what, 26?"

Nothing like a man complimenting you on your age - almost thirteen years younger than you really are!

Bed time for Bonzo - night Sparkers!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FAIRYTERN 10/29/2009 1:06PM

    These kinds of days are sent to test our "compassion" and "mindfullness"...although we do not immediately recognise it on the day...the woman you speak of was probably having AS bad a day as you yet didn't have sufficient good Karma to be able to deal with it in a kinder way...OM MANI PADME HUM for her

Rain is making me feel hibernat-y too :-P

Hope today is better

F ;-)

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Wow, I am making progress!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

I've been on Spark since sometime in 2008. I'm pretty sure that instead of losing weight I've packed even more on. That's what happens when you don't stick to the plan.

So this time I've been trying to take a slightly different approach. Instead of thinking the ten years of weight gain (which is about 100 pounds for the record) I need to work off will magically melt away over night and being horribly disappointed that it's not happening, I've been taking things a little slower.

First I needed to master some of the really small, seemingly stupid things. I was not in the habit of taking supplements on a daily basis. I've had to train myself to take a multivitamin every morning, and to remember to take the vitamin B12 away from the iron and don't forget the vitamin D!

I feel that, even though it is less than three weeks or 21 days, I've got a pretty good foundation for that habit to grow on.

I've also started walking more. And more. And faster too.

When I first started walking, it was agony. My legs rebelled at having to be used for something, my feet protested and my ankles just felt like they would give out, but I've been walking a little more each day. Today it was about 8km total. Sure there are those out there that are running further, or others walking faster and longer, but this isn't a race. The only person in this competition is me, and regardless of where I place, I'm still going to win.

Today I logged my meals for the first time in forever! I may be jumping the gun a little on that... I'm still at the baby steps stages, so if I stumble, well... I stumble. But I know how to get back up again.

This really is a wondrous journey! I'd be happier if I didn't need to take it at all honestly, but I am on it now so I am making the most of it.

I wonder what else I will see on these travels of self rediscovery...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GODDESS1977 10/31/2009 9:13AM

    Nice job girl! I've been out of the loop a bit, but it's wonderful to see you making progress, did I see a comment on your page that said congratulations on a 8 pound loss!!! Wow! Good for you! Keep in touch, and continue to go at your own pace but also keep in mind you must stretch a little every time so that you actually grow, just the way you have with your walking, more walking, then quicker walking it all equals progress. And I have to tell you too the little things are anything but stupid! They are the difference between being successful and unsuccessful!

*smile* I can SO relate to FAIRYTERN when it comes to being competitive and fanatical, although I won't claim OCD lol!!! You are building yourself a nice support team and remember everyone in your energy space is a personal reflection of you, so from the looks of your spark friends, your doing some great internal work too!


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OFORTUNA 10/28/2009 12:15AM

    What a great attitude. This post made me so happy. I love especially what you said about you being the only person in this competition. I think sometimes it's so easy to compare yourself to others and feel badly about it, when they have nothing to do with your journey.

It's amazing when you stay focused on the present moment and take the journey step by step, then when you get a chance to step back and look at the big picture you see how far you got. It sounds like you're doing just that now.


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FAIRYTERN 10/28/2009 12:12AM

    WOOHOO! Hey, I log every day...reason being is I am a little competitive and I like to see how close to my goals I can sail without going over...competing against myself if you will...AND if I can hit the calorie burn recommendation....can't leave it alone...a bit OCD myself I think :-)


I will be checking in with you tomorrow with the Rowing thingy...and maybe a few more things...I just found REALLY cheap Swiss Balls (exercise balls) at Canadaian Tire today ($17!!! and came with an exerise CD), bought one and am pumping it up at the gas station tomorrow on my way to work...I found some really good abs and low back exercises for the Ball that you can do in the living room...AND I can use the ball to sit on to do work from home on my laptop now...so Idon't get a bad back and neck...

So, later chick...hang in there...I'm gonna weigh myself every 2 weeks I figured, but after next week as it's my period week (PMS week this week...EEK!) and I bloat really badly...so to avoid feeling gutted I am gonna wait until it's over before I weigh in.

Speak later Gator...night ;-)

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Pain really doesn't fit into the equation.

Monday, October 26, 2009

As mentioned in previous blogs, I'm trying to walk more. There's the obvious reasons for this, and then there's the other reasons - I've got a lot of perpetual swelling in my legs (and elsewhere) and being just a wee bit overweight (insert sarcasm here) walking I thought would be a good way to get started again and boost some circulation.

The problem for me now isn't the walking so much, but the fact that I have crazy tense, sore calf muscles.

Now I am going to go to my doctor's next week to really press her to see why there is so much swelling. This isn't new and it's not the first time I've asked her about it either.

But back to the wickedly tense calves.

When I choose to walk home I am walking about 2.5 km in about 30 minutes. Not wickedly impressive numbers I'll admit, but I *am* impressed that I'm walking at all! Heck, I even throw some climbing stairs in that walk too (which I could avoid by changing the route slightly)! So while I do make it all the way home, the calf muscle thing is killing me.

This is a great idea that I'd like to try: http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/exerci
ses.asp?exercise=495 but the simple fact of the matter is that I am too big and do not have the upper body strength to really do this for any length of time for any real amount of success.

Stupidly tight calf muscles, which wouldn't really be happy with any sort of deep tissue massage at the moment, shouldn't be the reason I can't even walk - and it's almost becoming that way.

Suffice it to say, I need some sort of help in figuring this out. Stat.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OFORTUNA 10/26/2009 10:42PM

    It sounds like you're really making progress! Sometimes a slower pace will help stretch out the tenseness - and I get reminded all the time to warm up, so make sure you do that too. One of the things I do to help my calves, as well as my poor feet, is I'll sit with my feet propped up (or if you don't have anything to prop them up on, just stretch them in front of you) then point my toes as far as I can and hold it for several seconds, then point them back toward me as far as I comfortably can and hold. I try to hold them for as long as possible for each way. It really helps my pain and discomfort.

Do you drink a lot of water when you're done exercising? A good friend who is a massage therapist has drilled into me the importance of drinking water after exercise because it flushes your muscles out and keeps them from hurting as badly.

I hope that's some help, or if not, that your doctor can point you in the right direction!


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MORGANLAFEE 10/26/2009 9:59PM

    I can relate to the pain. I could only manage about half a block when I first started this journey but now can go several miles. I still get pain but not like before.

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    First of all...you're doing a kick ass job with your training regimen, battling through pain/discomfort and all. But equally as important to losing weight is to maintain a healthy state. Make sure to listen to your body and to not push yourself too far past your comfort level.

As for your wickedly tense calves, have you tried intensive stretching, yoga, calisthenics or even pilates? Any of these will more than likely aid in strengthening and stretching your uber-tight calves without stressing out the rest of your body too much.

Much luck and power to ya!

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