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Am I even trying?

Monday, September 20, 2010

Well I am in a funk today. I'm committed to losing 10# a month and that's not working so well for me - it's NOT HAPPENING!
Last month I lost 5.5, last WEEK I lost 6 and this week I gained back 4. This is starting to get on my nerves.
Things are tough for us financially. I've been working really hard to keep my grocery budget at $50 a week or less for my family. My daughter is away at college so it's just me my husband and teen aged son at home. It's been hard, but I've been cooking beans every week which has helped to stretch the budget. It has also helped me to get in my required fiber with good protein and low fat each day.
My sparkpeople calorie range is 1950-2300. I have stayed consistently at 1600-1900 calories daily. I'm wondering if the beans are contributing extra sodium thus accounting for the gain. My sodium has been well over the 2300 recommended grams.
I haven't been exercising formally and I know that's a problem, but I've been getting in a lot more activity than usual. I need to start hitting losses. Everything else is so out of control and I am so stressed that I need the weight loss. That is the one thing I do have control over - what goes in my mouth and how much I move my body. I just seem to be losing my motivation because I am discouraged by the lose two gain one game.
IF you look at my weekly weight chart, it doesn't appear that I am even trying. That couldn't be further from the truth. I think about my diet constantly. I make sure to get in my water every day, don't drink any drinks with calories and hardly ever reach the top of my calorie range much less go over.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GEORGIA_KAY 9/21/2010 3:05PM

    I used to make pinto beans three, four times a week but then I switched over to black soy beans which have far fewer carbs. Pintos have 36 carbs per cup while the black soy beans only have 16 per cup. They taste great too--just like regular black beans. They do cost a little more though---I buy them online for $44 for 25 pounds. The shipping price is based on where you live--the company that sells them is based in Michigan. I'm on a strict budget too, but as my husband couldn't live without eating beans and he's a diabetic, buying these beans have been the best way to go for us---all things considered.

Aw honey, I do know how it feels to take one step forward and two steps back in trying to lose weight. Sometimes I feel as if I've not made any progress at all, but then I think back to how I used to feel when I really wasn't trying at all and I know that sticking with my program is the only thing that keeps me from falling back into that black pit of hopelessness and despair. I never want to feel that way again mentally.

I've looked at your ticker, and you really have made progress. 80 pounds is fantastic!!! Stick with it, my dear, you really are doing yourself--and others too--so much good!

many hugs-----Georgia

Comment edited on: 9/21/2010 3:11:29 PM

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CHELSEAANNE8 9/21/2010 12:58PM

    I can relate SO much! I had lost 2.6 lbs. in 2 months and then I gained all back except 0.5 lbs. I was thinking about it this morning and like you, getting REALLY upset! Reading what the others have written has helped me too.

I am presently trying to concentrate on the lifestyle changes I am making and hoping that as time goes on, the weight will come off...in time.

Leader of "Sparking with Multiple Sclerosis" emoticon

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MOCUEVAS 9/21/2010 8:43AM

It will catch up with you and the effort will be worth it... you just keep doing what you're doing.
I know things are hard right now, stay as positive as you can and know that folks all over are thinking about you and praying for you.
I know you can do it1
Peace, Mo

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DIFROMWYOMING 9/20/2010 7:56PM

    I know this is frustrating, Diva. I've been here, too. I wondered if maybe your body was adjusting to the similar foods you're eating and processing them differently....sort of tied to being below calorie range. I heard once that you should not have starches unless they are paired with proteins, and starch alone will just turn right to fat. But....who knows? You'd think beans would be healthy!
Hang in there. I know you are committed to your health and you WILL get there!

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DIVAGURL 9/20/2010 2:56PM

    Thanks, I use dry beans that I cook in my crockpot. Black beans, kidney beans and pinto beans. I find these are cheaper than canned and I can control the sodium. I'm also using brown rice. Beans and rice is what I have been eating every single day for lunch. This past week I have eaten some sausage along with it and some days I've added some grated cheese to the top, just to change things up a little.
I get in a minimum of 60 grams of protein every day, so that isn't the problem. My sodium counts have been high most of last week. Some of it is the sausage (processed smoked meat), but I haven't had any other processed food so I am assuing it's the beans although I'm not puttng salt in them.

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READY4ACHANGE10 9/20/2010 2:46PM

    I can understand how you are feeling. I am also on a budget for groceries and it is hard to make them last. I was wondering what kind of beans are you eating? Are you eating canned or the kind you have to make yourself? If you are eating canned then its possible that you are getting to much sodium. I just went grocery shopping for the week and I also brought some healthy stuff and it cost me $90.00 at Aldi. I also brought some pinto beans and white beans that are the dry type and I just make them in my crockpot without adding salt. My family is used to having to salt their stuff because I never salt anything.
Don't give up on your weight loss. I know when I was losing weight with WW back in 2006-2007 I didn't know I was not eating enough protein to keep up with my workouts (I was working out 3 hours a day which included an hour of weights a day) and I started gaining weight. I was so upset because I was killing myself by exercising and eating right. It took my doctor to ask me what I ate and she told me that my body was in starvation mode just because I wasn't eating enough protein and if I hadn't come to her when I did I would have been in the hospital in the next 6 months with my kidneys failing. I had gained 15 pounds just because of I wasn't eating enough protein. Go figure.

emoticon I am here for you!


Comment edited on: 9/20/2010 2:54:21 PM

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1st month of Fall Focus and didn't get the 10 I was shooting for

Friday, September 03, 2010

Aound the end of July I was back up to 410#. Ready to make changes and get back on track, I started a Biggest Loser Challenge in my town.
We are each paying $5 a week for 8 weeks. There are 10 participants. At the end of the challenge (end of September) The Biggest Loser (by % of body weight) will win $280 and the first runner up will win $120.
I also committed on two Spark Teams to lose 2.5# a week for each week til the end of the year. It's a 22 week challenge.
The first 4 weeks of all of these challenges was over this past Saturday. I didn't lose the 10# this month. I have lost the most POUNDS on the pay to play team, but not the biggest %.
I'm not giving up, it's one month and I have 4 months of 2010 left. I'm pressing forward to be lighter at the end.
I'm pushing for 10 in September. I only lost 5.5 in August, but I DID LOSE! I know I will break out of the 400's this September, possibly this week. Monday Aug. 30th weight was 402.1 looking forward to what the scale says on Monday Sept. 6th. Hoping there's a 3 at the beginning of my posted weight and I'm willing to keep on my program this weekend to ensure that is the case.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GINA311 9/3/2010 11:54AM

  Keep up the good work Diva! The first month is hard - but it lays the foundation for the next ones. We'll both do 10 in Sept. You'll see 3's very soon.

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    You will do this, Diva! You are one of the strongest women I know, and you will push through and see that "3" shining up at you. I promise I will do all I can to push myself out of this hole so I do NOT see a "3" shining up at me next week. Argh. This is not easy sometimes.

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PATRISNA 9/3/2010 8:11AM

    You will do it. I hope there is the 3 smiling at you on the 8th. You are working so hard and your positive mind set is great. You lost over 5 five pounds so you are moving down the scale.

I saw a comment a guy put on a huddle one day that said something like 1 pound lost is equal to 2. You lost one so you are actually down two because you did not gain.

emoticon You have the Sapphire Stars to support you!

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CYNIEPOOH 9/3/2010 1:10AM

    You are doing great! You can do this!


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THEMAESTRO 9/3/2010 1:01AM

  I love your positive attitude and hope you continue to set and reach some or all of your goals. Good luck!

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GINA7249 9/3/2010 12:56AM



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Productive Day

Saturday, August 28, 2010

I've had a good day. Got up early, was at the grocery store at 7:30am, bought a week's worth of groceries for $45 - Whoop!
I texted a couple of my sisters that I was so excited about my thriftyness, one of them told me - "I love you, but you NEEED A LIFE!"
Came home, cut up two chickens, boiled and shredded. Made gumbo with 1/2 of one for tonight's supper. Put the rest in zip lock storage for the freezer. I love having pre-cooked chicken to pull out and throw something together for a quick dinner.
Made tuna fish salad for lunch. Made a gallon of sweet tea for my son & husband. Picked thru some beans and put them on to soak, will cook tomorrow. I've chopped the onion garlic and bell pepper for the beans, it's in the fridge ready to go. I boiled some extra eggs when I made the tuna for a quick breakfast or snack this week.
I did 3 loads of laundry, talked to my daughter, visited for an hour & 1/2 with my oldest sister who stopped by on her way home from a cruise vacation.
I felt very productive today. Got lots of walking in the grocery store, and lots of extra steps in the kitchen, cooking, chopping and cleaning.
I am not where I want to be or where I need to be, other than the pool I can't exercise for 30 minutes at a time YET - but THANK GOD, I am not where I was!

When I started this journey, I couldn't grocery shop alone. I had to use the cart to stand up and steady myself. There's no way I could have done the shopping, loaded the groceries in my car, unloaded them at home & put them all away by myself.
I also couldn't STAND at the kitchen counter and sink cutting up chicken, chopping vegetables and cooking. That was all done from a seated position at the table.
I've come a long way and I can't wait to lose this next 100 pounds and see the impact that it makes on my life.

This is a lifestyle change, not a race or a diet. I am proud to say that although I still weigh 400#, I have changed my life. I can see the benefits and feel those changes. When I started, I couldn't walk from my front door, down the sidewalk and across the driveway without the use of a cane and I would be out of breath.
This morning after being in the grocery store at a pretty good pace for 30 minutes, loading my own groceries and then driving home, unloading them all - by myself - in two trips from the car, I set them down and went to the restroom. I was breathing hard, but I wasn't dizzy and shaky and I was able to put them away and start immediately on cooking. That wouldn't have been possible at the beginning of this journey.

I'm pleased with my productive day and encouraged by the changes that I've made and motivated to continue to move forward.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PATRISNA 8/30/2010 6:19AM

    You are doing great! I know you must feel so much better. I More activity and doing things you love makes you feel so much healthier. I wish I could plan well enough to get a whole weeks worth of groceries for $45. You did fantastic!

I love stewed chicken. I am going to make chicken and dumplings today. I just love the smell of home made chicken soup cooking.

Hope you have a great week! emoticon emoticon

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DIFROMWYOMING 8/29/2010 8:04PM

    Just a wonderful day, Diva, and I almost feel ashamed that I had such a crummy weekend myself! I want to sound happy and upbeat and positive like you do today!
Congrats and how wonderful that you are seeing benefits to your hard work.

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BAYBELIEVER 8/29/2010 2:13PM

    Wow! What a day! That is awesome! And, yes, it is wonderful when we can see and appreciate all the positive changes taking place in our lives as we go on this journey! Way to go!

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TERRIJ_1 8/29/2010 1:30PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MSHOPPER63 8/29/2010 1:26PM

    emoticon ok I was looking for a High 5 my friend you deserve it !!!

What an Awesome day you had emoticon, just thinking of the calories you were burning.

Now for saving money, I am very impressed just wish I could find those deals.

emoticon Your Doing emoticon

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MOCUEVAS 8/29/2010 1:42AM

    You are amazing... look at all you did today, you go girl... you inspire me!
Smiles, Mo

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CYNIEPOOH 8/29/2010 1:10AM

    Wow! You are doing great! Congratulations!

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LOSETHEWTIN08 8/28/2010 11:22PM

    I'm so very proud of you! Your words are much more positive and show your lifestyle changes are working! WOW! You are fabulous!
Thank you so much for sharing. emoticon



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Owning the scale

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Ok, so last week we started our Fall Focus challenge and I committed to losing 2.5 pounds a week for 22 weeks. I had to buy a new scale for weigh in and came to terms with the starting #407.6 UGH!
I did really well with eating last week, not so well with exercise and sleep. I weighed in this am to 406.2 soooo - I've lost 1.4# I didn't meet my goal of 2.5 for the week, but I'm ok with it. There could be many reasons why.
It could be fluid retention, it could be because my menstrual cycle is weirding out on me this month, it could be many other things.

So I guess what I am trying to say is this - my weight is a number, It does not define me! This time I took my measurements and "before photos" so I know that I can track progress in more ways than just the scale.

I am glad that i had a 1.4 loss this week over any tpe of gain. I'll take it, week 2 starts a smaller number than week 1, just not as small as I wanted. That doesn't mean my challenge has not been successfull, it only means I have 21 weeks left to meet my goal and I have to learn NOW, that it's ok. I am not going to lose 2.5 EVERY week, but it doesn't mean I have to change my goal or alter my FOCUS!

I am going to FOCUS this challenge to the END! So what mr scale, you didn't give me the number I wanted this week - I have one thing to say to you - You're NOT the BOSS of me! So nana nana boo boo - see ya next week scale!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LOSETHEWTIN08 8/12/2010 2:02AM

    Thats right the scale is not your boss! Keep up the good work!

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DIFROMWYOMING 8/10/2010 7:32PM

    You are doing wonderful! Hugs, Di

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JUST_KAREN 8/10/2010 6:39PM

    I will take a lesson from that - when I get serious about losing weight I have a constant battle with the scale up and down the same few pounds a few times before making progress. Annoying. Waty to go! emoticon

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On to week 2

Monday, August 09, 2010

Well Week 1 of the Fall Focus Challenge is behind me. I did ok on my focus points - just need to work on breakfast and exercise. I'm back to basics again for week 2. My plan is this:
1. Breakfast - concentrate on fiber & protein
2. Water - get in 8 glasses minimum.
3. Track my food and keep calories in range.
4. Move it - get in exercise!
5. Blog, post or journal my progress
6. Work on home organization each day, at least 15 minutes

The challenge is 22 weeks - thru the end of the year and I have committed to losing 55 pounds in that time frame - 2.5 each week. I can do this! I've done it before and I can do it again.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CANBDONE 8/9/2010 3:53PM

    YES YOU CAN! emoticon

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_KATHY 8/9/2010 2:53AM

    emoticon me too !

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