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Mini-break and now I'm back

Monday, July 26, 2010

So I've been stressed by work and life and have allowed my own negative attitude to get the best of me. Whoever said that life wasn't going to be easy had it right! Not that my life is THAT difficult in comparison to so many others - I mean I am so blessed in so many ways. But sometimes life gets me down... I think we all struggle with that now and then... and I went through that the last couple of weeks and haven't been quite so good w/the diet & exercise.

It doesn't help that I'm in a long distance relationship... I'm here and my guy in a land far, far away... okay, maybe notsomuch. But he is in New York while I'm in Nebraska and while we do a pretty good job of seeing each other every month sometimes we have to go through longer stretches without a trip. We were in Chicago about a week and a half ago and had a wonderful weekend hanging out and having fun. It had been 8 weeks since I saw him last... EIGHT. WEEKS. Aargh. That's hard on a romance... in so many ways!! And even though we speak daily and rely heavily on text and email to keep in touch throughout the day, every time we have a longer stretch without seeing each other I start to have doubts. What are we doing? Why are we trying this long distance thing? Is it all going to fall apart? And it's offset by OMG I miss him so much! Why can't time pass more quickly? Why do our stupid schedules have to interrupt our relationship? I want to see him Noooooowwwww!

So, you see, with all of that emotion running, and frankly, a crappy support system here in good old Nebraska, it's hard to stay on track and not turn to emotional eating, a couple glasses of wine, and blowing off the gym. Which then leads to the trip where we celebrate with wonderful dinners at top notch restaurants with wine flowing and topped off with a delicious dessert. Wow. How I managed to go on this last trip and not put on 5 lbs is beyond me!

But I finally stepped on the scale this weekend and guess what? I had only put on half a pound. Woot! So right back to the gym I went. Yes, I should've gone back right after returning from Chicago but I was sad and blue and I missed hiiiiiiiiim! Yep, I'm pathetic.

Good news is our next trip is coming up and we're spending an entire week together. WooHoo! Big Party! :)

But, yeah, that's what I've been up to... not proud of dropping off the diet/fitness plan but it is what it is and I'm trying to make the most of the situation we're in right now. Hopefully one of these days we'll be more geographically compatible and I'll find a whole new excuse not to exercise and eat right. Geez!

  


Meetings drain me!

Saturday, July 10, 2010

The last 2 days of this week I was stuck in the most boring all-day meetings ever! Okay, maybe not ever, but close. How is it that a whole day of doing nothing except trying to stay awake and on topic can be so exhausting? At least lunch and snacks were not provided because that generally turns into a minefield of unhealthy treats to avoid. I did pretty well overall this week other than skipping the gym the last couple of days. So, I'm back to the gym again and, as usual, jumping right back on the horse... which seems to be my typical weekly plan... slip a bit, get back to it, slip a bit, get back to it, lather, rinse, repeat...

  


It would be so easy...

Wednesday, July 07, 2010

to break my plan. I could easily chow down on some licorice or skittles or chips right about now. But that's what got me into this mess in the first place! It's amazing how a simple little package of tasty goodness can leave you with a muffin top that hours at the gym may or may not remove. I'm doing okay... maybe struggling a little bit... I lifted yesterday and was starving all morning today! Greek yogurt w/ fresh blackberries & a tsp of raw sugar... a hard boiled egg... a cup of dry Cheerios... mixed nuts, raw veggies and half a tbsp of Annie's Goddess dressing. And I was still starving. Oh I know what hungry feels like today! Oh yes I do! I had LC spaghetti and a small peppermint patty for lunch. I finally feel almost satisfied. I'm going to drink some water and hang in there... this, too, shall pass.

I've slept poorly the last couple of nights - stressed for a variety of reasons. And right at this moment work is a little slow - hopefully I'll get a new assignment soon and things will pick up! I'm sure they will... and then I'll want to eat due to stress instead of boredom. :) Oh yes, that's how my lovely appetite works!

I'm ready for a change... I mean a real, big, meaningful change... not sure what that will be... hopefully it's weightloss and liking myself a bit more... but it's hard to say. I have several balls in the air at the moment. I just need security and satisfaction... I feel like I'm close but I've still got a ways to go...

No short-term solutions for me today, though. Today I stick to the plan and feel the hunger knowing it will help lead me to my goal.

  


Gym grumbles

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

I hate going to the gym when it's packed! I'm fortunate to have a small gym within walking distance in the community where I live and I'm usually able to go and workout in relative peace. Tonight the place was packed! I know that everyone else had just gotten off work, too, and we just happened to all hit the gym right after work - I get it. And looking at the big picture it makes me feel good to see other people pursuing a healthy lifestyle, too. But I'm still gonna pout because I had a pretty sweet deal for awhile there where I basically had my own private gym and now I have to share and sometimes I don't play well with others! I still managed to get in a decent workout and for the most part everyone stayed out of everyone else's way and we coordinated our workouts well to not overlap but still... it was just a whole lotta people in a very small space... a space that should be ALL MINE! LOL! I gotta stop being a brat...

In other news I ate really well today & didn't exceed my calorie recommendation! I'm loving the summer fruits and veggies (berries and melons and corn (Nebraska girl!)). I am struggling a bit to get enough fat in my diet so I need to rebalance... maybe if I go up to 2% Fage that will help? (I have the 0% stuff for breakfast every weekday) I dunno... guess it depends on what else I'm eating for the day... before I make any changes I'll track it a bit longer and adjust later. But I also know that fat is important to my diet and even, yes, to weight loss, and if I can make all of this work more efficiently and quickly I wanna do it! Now!

Okay, Jon Stewart's on... gotta run... good night!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REILLYGIRRRL 7/7/2010 6:01AM

  I like to go to the gym at off times too. I hate it when it's packed. Good luck with getting the fat in your diet.

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Forgive me Spark, for I have sinned...

Monday, July 05, 2010

It's been 3(?) days since my last journal entry and in that time I've been very hit or miss with my food tracking and gym time. And because I've been a big SLACKER the scale has not budged. Yay me! How am I ever going to get the body that I want when I allow myself to be distracted so easily?

So, in response to my lackluster performance I bought a bunch of fruits and veggies today at the market and NO CHIPS. None. Nada. No way, Jose! You see, chips are my weakness... can't eat just one? Try can't eat just half a bag and hear the other half calling my name the rest of the day only to finish the bag later that night or the next morning. So, yeah, drastic times call for drastic measures! No worries, I still have wheat crackers for when I have a killer salt & crunch craving... and some awesome hummus from WF that I'm totally addicted to, so no worries. I'm going to try to wean myself off the chips for awhile and see if I can break free of my addiction (MSG!). My other crunch satisfier? Fresh veggies and Annie's Goddess dressing... have you tried it? OMG - it's TDF! Yum! Savory and tasty - totally hits the spot. High in calories though so I gotta watch and only eat a tablespoon per serving.

I also got back to they gym today and had my longest run in a looooong time - almost 3 miles! And I was traveling at a 10 minute/mile pace - woot! Such a huge victory for me! I used to run 5 miles every day 5 days/week but that was a good 6-7 years ago. I was in a bad work sitch back then and under extreme stress so I turned to running to help me deal. In turn I wound up really skinny with hardcore shinsplint issues. I could barely walk. But I kept running - I would just down a bunch of ibuprofen to get through it - not smart!! Turns out that it is really important to spend more than 40 bucks on running shoes (more like 2-3x's more... if you're gonna run your butt off!). So excited to be upping my distance - I hope I can continue & I can walk tomorrow!

The other thing I did today was pull out my bikini and take a few pictures of myself with my cell phone. These are not for public consumption so I really hope I don't wind up losing my phone! (I cropped off my head/face!) The plan is to make myself look at these pictures every time I'm tempted to break my plan. I struggled really hard last week with extra food at work and skipped the gym a couple times when I should've gone. I'm hoping that by having a picture of what I REALLY look like will give me incentive to stay on track and make some progress. I'm gonna see my honey in a few weeks (long distance relationship) and we have a couple upcoming trips that will require pool time so I really need to stick to this and get in shape! We'll see if this works. :-)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ECASPERS 7/5/2010 7:47PM

    Sounds like you are getting back on track - good for you. I am in the same boat this weekend.

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