Friday, January 21, 2011
But I'm ok with it. Because I have a new plan. I bought EA Sports Active 2 for the Wii and I love it so far. I started it 13 days ago and have lost 2 pounds. My new goal is to lose 4 more pounds by Valentine's Day. I'm hoping to lose 8, but I'll be happy with 4. I went food shopping yesterday and bought lots of veggies and fruits and am going to commit to cooking dinner and packing lunches for work. I know, I've said all of this before, and I'm sure I'll be really discouraged if I don't lose, or worse yet, gain next weigh-in, but I will keep going. After I finish the 3 week challenge, I'm going to move onto the 9 week challenge and up the exercise intensity from easy to normal. Sometimes I feel like the easy is too easy and won't change anything, but I have to keep reminding myself that baby steps are the way to go, and workouts that have been too hard to keep up with in the past have only discouraged me. And of course, coming back here always inspires me to do better and not quit.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
I know this is a bad time to be setting a goal, but you gotta start somewhere, right? I decided to try and lose 6 pounds by the 11th of January. That's 3 weeks from now. 6 pounds can't be that hard, right?
Yesterday I felt super out-of-shape. I took the stairs at work (going down) and felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest the entire ride home. I decided to go wedding dress shopping, finally, in January. I'm terrified. But maybe it will open my eyes and give me the kick in th ass that I need. At least it will show me if the image in my head is real or just a figment of my imagination. Who knows, maybe I will think I look stunning. (I doubt it, lol) I think it will turn out to be a positive experience. Whatever I end up losing will only make me look that much better. I may not be a size 8 on my wedding day, but a 12 will still look great. Even a 14.
Oh, yeah, get this. My fiance had his work Christmas party at a bar we used to go to a lot. This guy came up to me that I haven't seen in a while (older guy, super sweet) and puts his hand on my waist. He says, "You look great!" and follows it up with, "April?" I said, "April?" (thinking, my name is Michelle, not April....) well.....he meant am I DUE in April!!!!! Mind you, I'm holding a Miller lite! I just laughed it off, he said he felt so embarrassed, but I told him it was ok. The thing is, I thought I actually looked good. I had a new sweater dress on with some body shaping garments on underneath. I felt cute. I didn't really let the comment bother me, but I was definitely self-concious the rest of the night. I kept pulling my dress away from my tummy. I didn't let it ruin my night, but it was in the back of my mind. Oh well, what can you do.
So, I'm going to be as good as I can the next 3 weeks. This is the week of food deliveries at work and people bringing in various things like candy, cookies, cakes....it's hard to say no, but I have to do it. I can't ban myself entirely, but I'm not going to pig out. I have to work Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and the day after, so that really sucks. But at least I won't be at someone's house all day where food will be available at all times. I have to admit, I'm not very optimistic about this. but I can't give up. I have to do something. Even if it's a little tiny something.
Monday, October 25, 2010
This is ridiculous. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. There is nothing wrong with my thyroid, I've been trying really hard to eat better the past few weeks...I just don't know.
I went to a 70th birthday party for Paul's wild and fun Uncle Jim on Friday night. My friend Shannon, who has lost a lot of weight this past year and looks fabulous was sitting with me at one of the tables. I am really happy for her, but at the same time I felt like everyone was looking at ME because I (felt like) I was the fattest person in the room. I couldn't believe how self-concious I felt. I had a few tostitos with spinach dip and felt incredibly guilty. When we got in line for food, I felt like everyone was judging what I was going to eat. This was absolutely absurd thinking, but I couldn't help it. I felt like everyone was thinking, "Look at her, why is she eating that?" I have never felt like this before. Eventually I felt better but it really disturbed me. And then to top it off I step on the scale this morning and discover a 1.5 lb. gain from last week. I can't do this anymore. I don't understand what's happening to me and why. I was on my feet all day yesterday doing laundry, cleaning, cooking, decorating, etc. and by the end of the day my heels hurt so badly I could barely walk. They still hurt a little today. I know it's because of my weight. I am so depressed on the inside because of this. I don't really show it on the outside but I can feel that I'm sad. I hate feeling this way. I am supposed to be going to try on dresses for my wedding soon and I am dreading it. This is supposed to be an exciting and happy time! I am terrified! I can't bring myself to do it! I don't know what I'm going to do.
In the meantime, I'll be pondering my next move.
Monday, September 13, 2010
I just purchased 2 75 minute pole dancing classes for $25 from livingsocial.com.
If you want to check it out, copy and paste into your browser:
Let me know when you purchase them and maybe we can meet up and do our classes together!!
I'm really excited about this!
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