Thursday, July 17, 2014
I have learned that I let my situations dictate much of my life versus myself controlling what I can control. It's been a learning experience this summer. I mentioned it in a status that I was learning something awhile back and that is what I am learning. I'm learning that I let situations boss me around. Now I'm not so naive that I think I can control every situation and take everyday by the horns and completely change it's outcome, but I do let myself feel almost like a victim of circumstances and allow things to get worse. Now they're going to get better. Here's the whole story...
A few weeks ago, I went on my first work trip. Two weeks in Florida. Two weeks of eating out, but I managed it fairly well I came back about 3 pounds heavier, but most of that i assumed was water weight and from traveling etc. I didn't beat myself up I didn't worry about it. Well I came home the week of the 4th of July. By the time I got the house back to where I wanted it, and the office caught up and the laundry caught up and took a nap before I even knew it, it was Friday the 4th, the holiday weekend. Now my BF and I kept it low key, but we ate out twice during the long weekend. I hadn't worked out since I'd been back. I hadn't even had a chance to do the meal planning, but I was thinking "get life balanced out this week and next week I'm back to it" Best of intentions don't get a girl where she needs to be let me tell you how this continued to unfold. My father shows up the following week Wednesday. Rob and I leave for his family reunion on Friday. My dad's here for a couple of weeks, and he thought he'd come out before we left so he could watch the animals for me. So Rob and I leave for a weekend in West Virginia. Which involved more eating out and not a lot of time to work out although we did go to the pool for a few hours. Then I came home from that and dad and I started home repairs and home depot trips. So yesterday I was focused on the meal planning I hadn't done, the exercise I haven't been able to get in, the backlog of things to do in general, and I started to spiral into a feeling of complete defeat. That's how the story goes, but don't worry there's more.
I was sitting in my cubical Wednesday and just sat here for a minute and realized I'd done some impressive things. The week I'd come home from my work trip, I knew things would be crazy, so I made an extra big batch of sloppy joe in the crockpot so I'd have go to meals ready to pack for lunch and eat for dinner. Sure I was short on produce, time and planning, but I still made an effort to prevent backsliding. I had a great work trip and a great time in WV. My trip to meet his family was deemed successful. Yesterday I sent my BF a list of things to do that I needed help with. I told him I wasn't doing well and I really needed some little stuff done to support me the next couple of days. I reached out, admitted I was struggling, and asked for help. What's even better is that the help was provided because I didn't like sitting her feeling defeated and like I had to start all over. I don't have to start all over I just have to keep going.
It's really hard having my dad here health wise. I wanted to make Italian chicken sausage one night for dinner, but he wanted "real food" so we went to Burger King (true story) and then he took me for ice cream. Overnight my house filled with cookies, candy, donuts, and the list goes on. Stuff I rarely buy, but I'm trying to keep it form tempting me and I just felt like I was drowning in defeat and things I couldn't control. He also leaves things out in case he needs them again mainly tools, so not only is my house full of junk food, there's a sea of mess.
Last night Rob and I made a healthy dinner together (since I asked for help and all) and he made sure to pack up dinner for me (leftovers) so I can come home tonight and reheat it and not have to worry about making "real food." Tonight I'll figure out what to throw in the crockpot for tomorrow. I've resigned to having to use the crockpot because there is just too much mess and not enough time, so I'm trying to keep dinner quick and easy in terms of prep and cleanup. This weekend I will get some meal planning in and get some exercise in before anyone wakes up. I'm always the first one up with the dog.
There are some things extremely out of my control, but I need to make the best of them and not feel defeated just because I'm not being perfect, because I'm in general doing a lot of things better than before.
Tuesday, July 08, 2014
SO I went on my first work trip and came home. I feel like the two weeks away, while enjoyable and fun I haven't quite returned to my stride yet. I did better. I simplified. I made a double batch of sloppy Joe when I got home because I knew meal planning wouldn't get done due to unpacking, laundry, the holiday, and now the trip to WV this weekend for his family reunion. So I've been eating a lot of sloppy Joe. I made it with 96% lean beef and extra veggies and I've been living off of that for awhile. now I have some london broil marinading for this weekend. I haven't gotten back to exercising since I've been back, but I was getting my house back in order and now my dad's coming so who knows when my schedule is getting back to normal, but I'm trying. I did good on my trip exercising it was getting home that threw me off. I will have to figure out how to get time for me in there.
I was asked to be a bridesmaid in my friends wedding so I need to get focused!
On a side note, I'm having some relationship issues. He's no longer sure if he wants children. It's a big thing to change just when we were talking rings n things. Now i have a medical condition that makes pregnancy difficult, but I don't know what to do, I've always wanted to at least try and I'm turning 32 this summer. Long term he's a great guy that I love, and I'm hoping we get this discussed and resolved. This has led me to some stress/emotional eating not going to deny it. So we'll continue to see how this story unfolds.
Monday, June 23, 2014
I was sent on my first work trip. I have to say, I like traveling on company money. I'm racking up hotel points and airline miles, but man I've been here an official 8 days now. I'm drinking water like a crazy person staying hydrated in Florida and I've been trying to eat healthy, but this eating out all of the time is getting to me. In attempts to counteract this I've been hitting the pool and the fitness room. I find it is a delicate balance. I originally planned on working all day and working out each night, which I did the first couple of days, BUT I have to go to dinner some of the time or I seem anti social and that's not the best career move. With luck I will come home flat to where I left. On a plus side. I got to do one night at Downtown Disney, which you know I love just by looking at my page. So I'm trying to have fun, be social, and be healthy all while being on the road for two weeks. I have healthy bread, peanut butter, jelly and healthy snacks in my room and I've been eating eggs and oatmeal for breakfast. There's a fridge and microwave in my room, which helps. So I keep reminding myself I'm minimizing the damage and still having a good time. I hope it works out.
Outside of that though, I am truly having a good time. The rental car gave me a mustang. He said, "With a smile like that you get the mustang" It was a nice ego boost, so I've driven a sporty car to the beach in Florida. I've met new people, and gotten lots of sunshine. I went to Downtown Disney for a day and made some fun memories.
Thursday, May 08, 2014
I just felt like blogging.
My negative self talk is greatly improving, I won't share how much money is in my insult jar, but it is helping me be aware of how quick to put myself down I was getting or had gotten, but again it's getting better so Hooray.
I think I'm slowly getting to a better place in my life in general. Yeah I've had some ups and downs. The loss of my friend is still there, but I'm coping. Overall I think things are improving. I knew I was getting stressed out, so I asked Rob to plan a surprise day trip just to break up the routine and get my mind busy. It was a really perfect day and just what I needed. It's made this week better. I'm proud of the fact that when I needed something I directly asked for it and got the results I wanted. I'm so used to just putting myself on hold, it was nice to put me first that day.
Where I'm at in my journey? I hit a plateau and I've had issues with weekend binging. I've been working out more, but i also keep "bending the rules" on the weekend. so I'm breaking even, which would be okay eventually, but not right now. I need to refocus. So the first things was I had to realize I was doing this. Okay done. I realize that I'm slacking on the weekends.
Now comes the change part. How am I going to attack this issue? Well first step was clean out the fridge (Did that last night) Next, get back to meal planning. this has been an issue on the weekends due to schedules and errands and workouts. So I'm having my BF write his schedule on the calendar, so I can plan when we'll eat out, when we'll eat together (this is important because he's a vegetarian, so I go meatless for our together meals) and when I'm on my own. I should explain, I do really well sticking to my goals during the week, but the weekend and I have been struggling lately. So I'm hoping that helps spunk me up and keep me on track during the week but trying to figure out a little bit better planned weekend meal wise.
I'm doing better with water and exercise. However I'm getting a little bored with my health walker. I need some variety. I'm getting a bike trainer this month to use on my bike in the shed. I also set up netflix and a dvd player in the workout room. I find I do better if I throw on a show I've been meaning to watch, most of the shows I've been meaning to watch are about 50 minutes long and then I stretch. I also like to throw on disney movies I've seen a million times so I can let my mind wander a bit. Music is good for quick 10 min work outs, but an hour and I get restless. I also just got a jump rope and I think I'm going to order a skip it just to have a bit more variety.
I think I'm in a good place and I am evolving.
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