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I am feeling pretty low

Thursday, December 06, 2012

Hubby and I went to a job fair and had a good interview. We were feeling so positive about the experience. We recieved an email today that said that company is no longer considering us and it's because of my references. I have a former supervisor who apparently has it in for me even though I no longer work for him. I don't want to go into it, but I left my last job on bad conditions not entirely my fault. I really hate to even write this job on my job history but I feel that with the internet, employers will find out about it anyway and then I'm damned because I left it off (it was only 6 months' employment). I took a job I wasn't qualified to do and did it as best I could under enormous stress and ended up getting terminated prior to the end of my 90-day trial time. Do you think I should just eliminate this job from my history and hope for the best? I have decided that I am going to eliminate this recommendation from my profile at least before it does further harm. I just feel like crying. I've made a few mistakes in life, but nothing criminal or really disgraceful and now I can't find a job. Trying to keep it together, but feel so blue.

On the positive side, Wii Fit says I've lost weight so that's good. Wish my scales concurred. These scales must not be very reliable.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BECCABOO127 12/7/2012 11:41PM

    emoticon So sorry you are blue. The other commentors left some really good comments. Just move forward, and put this behind you. You can do it! You will get another job, and one that is just right for you.

WTG on your Wii accomplishments!

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PATRICIAANN46 12/7/2012 3:21PM

  I am sorry to hear of your problems with this negative reference. I would definitely leave him off of your reference list because of the short amount of time you were in this job. I hope that things began to look up for you and that you find a job that you love VERY SOON. emoticon

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MYTHMYTH 12/7/2012 10:58AM

    In my job, I am responsible for advising new teachers regarding their resumes and the job search process, I realize that you are in a different field, but perhaps this advice will help anyway. First, consider yourself lucky that you know exactly why you didn't get the job you had applied for ! You now know, without a doubt, that you should not use that person as a reference. My general advice is to never ask anyone to be a reference for you unless you are pretty sure that you know what they will say. Also, if you have been out of touch with some of your references for a bit, let them know that you are in the job market again and it's also good to let your references know if they might be hearing from someone - this primes them to be ready to say something positive about you - rather than a few moments of silence while they gather their thoughts. Second, if you are quite sure that employers will find out about the job anyway, then you'd better keep it on your resume. You might ask a friend to do a google search on you and see what comes up. If it shows, you are risking too much to leave it off. Third, you need to be ready to explain any gaps in employment and also any reasons that you have for not providing references for your most recent employment - it's not a bad idea to practice exactly what you are going to say. Good luck!
Jane

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JESSIG5 12/7/2012 10:28AM

    I once read that jobs of less than 90 days should be omitted because they are trial periods, not only for the company but also the employee. Sometimes a job is just not a good fit for either one or the other.

Try to stay positive.
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1EMMA2011 12/7/2012 9:18AM

    You were honest. You did nothing wrong. Plenty of people are in the same boat. Yes, omit the job. Do not use this person as a reference. Only use references that will help you. This job wasn't meant to be. You are learning. Just keep going forward. Think about creating your own job. Everyone makes mistakes. It happened, learn from it and move on. Forgive yourself because you are a good person and only deserve good things. Here's the link for the test I was telling you about. I think once you learn more about yourself it may help explain things - please just a suggestion.

http://standout.tmbc.com/gu
i/soIndividual

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MOONSTORMER 12/7/2012 12:03AM

    emoticon i would definitely leave it off - not a long enough time period for them to really care anyway. it's not like you're leaving off a job you did for 2 years!

the wiifit scale is actually very accurate - they did tests and stuff and it's really good. the inaccuracies come in if you're using it on uneven surfaces or changing from hard flooring to carpeting.

emoticon emoticon

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DETERMINEDJANET 12/6/2012 10:11PM

    I totally agree with this: I would leave it off the resume, and if a future interviewer mentions the gap in employment, then you can mention that you tried this position, but found it wasn't a good fit for you, so you left before the trial period was over.

Hugs!!!



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KALANTHA 12/6/2012 9:11PM

    I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time.

I don't think it would matter if you left it off since you weren't even there through your probaionary period, especially if your previous employment was more positive.

Keep trying and when the right job comes along, you'll know it.

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NOTSOFLUFFYDAD 12/6/2012 5:26PM

    You keep hanging in there!! In some states, you can file a report with the dept of labor and industries for a previous employer blackballing you.

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BARBARASDIET 12/6/2012 5:19PM

    emoticon

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MNTWINSGAL 12/6/2012 5:10PM

    I'm so sorry this happened to you. Hang in there and don't let it get you down! I would leave it off the resume, and if a future interviewer mentions the gap in employment, then you can mention that you tried this position, but found it wasn't a good fit for you, so you left before the trial period was over. No need to mention the supervisor's name. My bet is that they won't ask anyway.

I'm still job-searching too....sometimes it's discouraging, but I try to look at the positive side. I know something is out there for me, and eventually I'll find it. And you'll find yours too!

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DETERMINED_ME 12/6/2012 4:51PM

    Because you didn't even make it through your trial time, I would definitely leave that job off the resume. No point in having it there as the other party didn't even really get the chance to know who you are. I'm sorry you did not get this job, it's shame that people say mean things to hurt others.

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IAMRADIOGEEK 12/6/2012 4:34PM

    Take it off of there and don't look back. You will find a job...just keep plugging away, and good job on your Wii Fit-ing!

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ALISHAB3 12/6/2012 4:33PM

    Leave the job on your history, never list that individual as a reference or recommendation again.

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LOSINIT52 12/6/2012 4:13PM

    Sorry about the interview. I would most definitely leave it off my resume. Keep your chin up and the right job will come along.

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VIXLADYFOX 12/6/2012 3:43PM

    YES!!!! 6 months makes no difference if you leave it off.......but a HUGE difference if you add it and it's negative. Don't let it make you cry again.....it already did that when it happened. Live and learn right? :) emoticon

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Doing pretty well with program

Wednesday, December 05, 2012

I need to think of my health and fitness activities as not a program but a lifestyle, but I still call it a program--better than a diet!

Got in adequate sleep last night and didn't snack on ice cream or anything, just my sugar-free cocoa with mini-marshmallows. Hot drinks are the bomb this time of year! Drank coffee for breakfast and before I knew it the morning was over. I made a big salad of lettuce greens and spinach and topped it with a few black beans, 2 boiled eggs, and a super-small can of tuna. Used Lite dressing and yum yum! It was good and I am proud of getting my veggies in this morning.

I also did quite a few of my NEAT activities. They are not as hard to do after just a few days of doing them. My 100 jogging steps are easy now--maybe I'll up that number. I really want to get stronger core muscles so I'm trying to do fitness exercises that address this area--those are hard!

My son had a middle school band concert last night. It was nice to see so many kids up on stage doing their music. They sounded like you expect middle schoolers to sound, but they are always improving. My son has been letting his school work slide. He's such a nice boy that it's hard to be hard on him, but his Dad took away the electronics and now he's got the rest of the week to finish reading a Harry Potter book and do a book report on it. Soccer has taken a lot of his time and concentration. The good news is that he finally scored his first goal on this new team. He also worried my mom when he told her he was going on a bike ride and didn't return until after dark. He knows he can't go in people's houses unless parents are home, but he didn't tell Mom he was going to a friend's house. We have to nip his careless behavior in the bud.

Daughter is a good girl for a 15-year-old. She could be putting in a bit more effort to make better grades, but she makes solid As and Bs. She is still very sweet and innocent despite the worldly world she lives in. She has a boyfriend now and it's the first for both of them. He seems very smitten with her. She only sees him at our house or his house with parents home since neither has any money for serious dating. We think they are behaving responsibly if you know what I mean. I feel pretty blessed to have such nice kids when so many kids around them are leaving the straight and narrow.

I need to get off this computer chair and get my house tidied. Also the mail has run and I want to look at grocery sale papers to plan a bit of shopping. Also there are fitness activities that need to be done like Wii Fit! Keep on sparking y'all!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GUENAVIEVE 12/6/2012 1:42PM

    Sounds like you are doing great! Love the description of the salad you had, I want one now emoticon

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MOONSTORMER 12/6/2012 12:23AM

    wonderful - just keep on keeping on!

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1EMMA2011 12/5/2012 11:54PM

    You are doing awesome. It is stressful to have teenagers. You are doing really great and should be proud. I miss those middle school band concerts, they are the best!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SCHOOLCOOK2 12/5/2012 9:16PM

    So happy you are finding your way with this program. It takes awhile but soon it all falls into place. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ANGRITTER 12/5/2012 3:58PM

    Oh, those innocent years are so sweet. And get control of that boy as they grow up so fast!! My brother was the same way. He had other interests and school was not one of them! But he can build anything you throw at him and is making tons of money these days.

How was Atlanta?



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NOTSOFLUFFYDAD 12/5/2012 1:37PM

    In the words of Dory from "Finding Nemo" Just keep swimming just keep swimming... swimming, swimming, just keep swimming

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DETERMINED_ME 12/5/2012 1:22PM

    emoticon Glad to hear you are starting to feel good about your "program"...You call it whatever you want to call it that works for you. emoticon

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Back from the Job Fair

Monday, December 03, 2012

Hubby and I are back from our whirlwind trip to Atlanta for the job fair we have been anticipating for quite a while. We did have one really good interview, but there were not many schools there and other than the one really good interview, there were no positions appropriate for the 2 of us. Ah well, now we know what we are up against. The one interview though is all we really need to get a job. This organization prefers to hire married teacher couples. They have schools in many locations and they seemed to really like us. I hope it works out.

Spark wise, I could have done better. Long car rides aren't good for sparking. I ate some junk in the car as well as several restaurant meals that were certainly caloric and fat. Ah well, home again and back to focusing. I did do well on breakfast--the hotel had hard boiled eggs and coffee. I also resisted the free sodas and juices at the conference and drank only water or Starbucks coffee. I couldn't successfully pass up on pastries once though. I also made it a point to engage in some NEAT activities like jogging in place whenever I visited the restroom (privately in the handicap stall). I'm really getting into NEAT activities that make me be active even when engaging in sedentary behaviors--does that make sense?

Now I'm home and back with my friend Wii Fit and all my other Spark acoutrements. Let's make it happen!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LOSINIT52 12/4/2012 5:46PM

    Good luck! Hope things work out for both you and your husband. What a great holiday gift that would be!
Keep the spark fire burning! And thanks for your comment on my status.

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MOONSTORMER 12/3/2012 11:25PM

    wow - good luck! what a nice opportunity if it works out.

travel is often the hardest with eating well. but if it was only a few days, and now you're back home in your own routines. glad you're loving the NEAT approach

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1EMMA2011 12/3/2012 9:54PM

    Glad you are home safe and sounds as though you gained a lot of experience. Hoping you will hear good news soon!

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COCOONGIRL 12/3/2012 8:16PM

    That sounds cool...where did you find the NEAT activities?? I would love to find them!

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ITISABOUTME 12/3/2012 8:10PM

    Good for you!! I sure hope things work out I know how frustrating job hunting can be.

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DETERMINED_ME 12/3/2012 8:08PM

    Welcome back! Hope the interview proves to be successful for you.

You'll do great now that you are back and utilizing the NEAT system.

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Doing NEAT things.

Saturday, December 01, 2012

Read a blog by a gal named Frauching on the subject of NEAT, which is an acronym that stands for Non-exercise Activity Thermogenesis, or activities we do beyond working out. Some people (myself included) tend to be extremely sedentary when not actually engaged in fitness exercise. I know this is a problem for me with a lot of ill side effects like super-weak muscles. I've considered turning on the timer to prompt me to get up and move for 5 minutes every hour. I still might do that!

My other spark friend, DeterminedMe, is encouraging me to do squats and lunges, and I really want to, except for my poor knees. She said to try doing squats using a low stool so I have been using a little 2-step booster I use for getting into high places to "squat" on. Yesterday, I did 5 squat intervals 3 times during the day. Also running in place 4 times and stepping up and down on a step 3 times and other calisthenics I thought of at different times of the day. Sometimes the idea of devoting a half-hour to fitness seems so inconvenient. I also don't always want to leave my house. So I'm doing Wii Fit at home (not hard core by any means) and a bit of Leslie Sansone. Thanks to all this NEAT plug-in fitness (3-5 minutes at a time) my muscles are pretty sore! I want to be able to do a plank with good form but right now it's really hard. I have such a time getting on and off the floor that I really don't do a plank much at all! I tried it on the bed, and it's still pretty hard.

So now I want to get below 200 and get my muscles strong enough to get on and off the floor as well as plank. Also I would like to lose enough weight to where I can run/jog for 2 minutes and longer. Engaging in NEAT activities throughout the day can only help.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANGRITTER 12/3/2012 6:16AM

    You are doing great and making strides even through your pain. If you even tried the lunges and used the step, you are making a difference. I remember the first day I decided to walk. 10 minutes in the yard - maybe 1.5 laps around the yard - had me in bed for an entire day.

Do what you can do and build on it. I tried lunges when I vacuum and I fell over twice - and I wasn't even in the cast yet!!! I just had no balance.

You are doing great and you have been mixing it up and that is great because you are finding out what works for you!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

Hugs,
Angela

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GUENAVIEVE 12/1/2012 6:39PM

    This is a great idea! I am very sedentary and the thought of getting up to exercise does not please me at all but a little bit at a time sounds manageable. Thanks for the info!

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MYTHMYTH 12/1/2012 3:08PM

    I can soooo relate to your post! I could have written it - right down to the problems with knees that are keeping me from doing activities that involve getting down on the floor. Thanks for sharing.
Jane

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NOTSOFLUFFYDAD 12/1/2012 11:41AM

    You just keep doing what you can do. I have bad knees too that need replacements but I am too young. The dr said the more I can strengthen the muscles around them the stronger they will get and the longer I can go without having to have replacements. I also have a degenerative disc disease dissolving my spine, but again the stronger I make the muscles, the better, So that's one of my motivators, more push no surgery. Have a great day!!

Paul

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DETERMINED_ME 12/1/2012 11:23AM

    That is a great idea my friend! If 30 minutes of fitness isn't a good option for you, 5 or 10 minutes at a time works great.
emoticon on the squats. As your core strengthens you'll be able to do them easier without the pain in your knees. Proper form with the squats will help with your core as well (at least that is what the PT told me on Wednesday).

Keep it up! You're doing emoticon

emoticon
Tami

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LOSINIT52 12/1/2012 11:00AM

    I like the idea of five minutes every hour. Keeps you mindful as well.
Spark coach has challenged me to increase my activity level in 3 areas today.
Maybe a clock or watch that chimes every hour would help. I have a funny image in my head now. An onlooker would think I was hypnotized. Bell rings... Crazy woman does squats. In time change that to skinny crazy woman does squats.
Spark on.

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Quick update

Thursday, November 29, 2012

I'm keeping on keeping on. I have been very much in control of my eating (I think). I'm tracking. My main source of sustenance has been soup lately. It was a little cool in these parts and I got in the mood to make lamb stew. Today I made black bean soup. My kids at first tun their noses up, but then they eat it up and say they liked it. Yesterday I made a quinoa/spinach dish I read about on SparkRecipes. I had all the ingredients. Everyone liked it. I also made twice this week some Hungry Girl-inspired muffins. You just take any "moist" cake mix and combine it with a can of pumpkin. I made it with spice cake first and the kids gobbled them down. They usually think spice cake isn't good, but they liked the muffins. When my daughter tried to turn her nose up to eating spice muffins, I told her to think of them as "sugar" flavored. She ended up having 3. I am proud to report I only had 2. Today I made a lemon cake mix and added poppy seeds along with the pumpkin. I have only had one today, but they are very yummy despite being so orange! These are so easy to make and I'm glad the whole family can enjoy a lower-calorie treat with no fat.

As for my weight, it's not decreasing to any great degree. I might try to stop eating wheat and see if pounds will come off. This will make me more low-carb and maybe that's what I need. Low carb has always worked for me. I really like a lot of wheat products and so does my family. I'd have to give up my grape nuts cereal I have sometimes, rice-a-roni that my kids love, any kind of sandwich I like on low-cal bread, my muffins! But I gotta do something.

I've been doing some fitness on the Wii--so not enough I know. I tried to do some lunges and squats one of my SP friends described. It kills my knees. They don't hurt all the time, but they do when I do these exercises! This friend suggested I try using a low seat to do the squats. I did that and I have to concur with Wii Fit that my abs are weak as water! I'll need to keep practicing and see if the abs can be strengthened!

I am off to Atlanta on Saturday for a job fair. Hubby and I want to get jobs overseas. I had an initial contact with a recruiter and he led me to believe we would certainly get offered jobs. I am so hopeful. Have to go to the unemployment office tomorrow. I just hate to go there! I hope I can get a job soon! Another Spark friend told me about a company that hires people to work from home that I will investigate when I get back from my job fair.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAREN608 11/30/2012 8:51PM

    Yeah i think if I gave up wheat products, it would help my weight.
But oh how I enjoy eating them.
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ANGRITTER 11/30/2012 12:02PM

    Don't you hate it when games tell you that you are weak? It's really no fair, right? Thankfully I do not have one of these as I am sure it would hit me while I was in the wrong mood and would be used as target practice somewhere.

I am trying to get my attitude in check, but I am feeling very Scrooge-like. I am not proud of my outbursts lately, but that is exactly what stress does to me... it makes me grumpy and I lack emotional intelligence.

So, like a rabid dog, I try to bite everything that comes near me so it will just leave me alone to my own devices. I have beena a bad Sparker and have not been cheering myself on at all. So Monday is a new day and I will strive to adjust my attitide to better suit my SparkFriends' needs!

Hugs to you! And hopefully there will be something great for you that will allow you both to travel and see the world!

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MOONSTORMER 11/30/2012 1:45AM

    good luck at the job fair! keep on with the wiifit - if you aren't at a high fitness level, it can really be quite challenging and help you get stronger/more fit.

sounds like you are continuing to make progress!

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NIELSENSLADY 11/30/2012 12:11AM

    Good Luck friend!!

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NANCYSINATRA 11/29/2012 11:47PM

    If you find out more about the company that allows you to work from home, let me know. I've been unemployed for over a year now after being the primary bread winner for years. Unemployment runs out the end of the year, and I have no good prospects right now.
I also have some bad knees, and abs like water. LOL I just started doing some ab exercises to help try and strengthen them. As for my knees. who knows. I can walk for miles and miles, but no squats or lunges.
The spice muffins sound wonderful. How many calories per muffin though? Right now I am really focusing on my nutrition and trying to get the scale down closer to the 200 mark. I have been stuck for over 6 months, so it's time to focus on something. :)
Hope things go well at the job fair. :)

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DETERMINED_ME 11/29/2012 11:17PM

    Keep on Keepin' on! That's what you do. As you continue on your path you will find things that work for you and things that don't. This is my 5th year here and I'm just now finding the path that works for me. emoticon

Good luck at the job fair! I truly hope you find what you are looking for.

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Tami

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SUNSPOT_BABY 11/29/2012 11:01PM

    Sounds like you are working hard! Good for you. I always start dropping weight when I knock off the wheat products. Good luck with your job search! Have you tried yoga?

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