Monday, May 06, 2013
I got really sick last week, couldn't keep anything down for a couple days. And when I recovered I was really cautious about eating fatty foods, and the effect that it was having on my body. So I decided to take advantage of my sickness, and the detoxifying benefits that it brought.
The first few days were easy, my stomach still a little jumpy, and so by the time the bad stuff started sounding good again, I had a little bit of built up resistance under my belt. I've been focusing on slowly leading my mind and body back to the choices that it would have made with little thought 2 years ago.
My First weigh in is tomorrow, but I'm already more pleased about the fact that I've gone 6 days with no Diet Coke, no soda of any kind, no caffeine of any kind. (I read that it can take up to 9 days to end caffeine withdrawal!). I've also gone 6 days with no fast food of any kind, no fried food, and no super processed "junk" food. It's been years since I've been able to go that long.
Tuesday, January 08, 2013
Goals for the week: Didn't really define any, it was more of a generic goal to ease back into things.
*Lost 3 Pounds. This doesn't really make any logic sense, most likely it was water weight and bulkage left from the Holidays...but anyway, Yay!
*Downloaded the Sparkpeople app (I talked myself into spending the $, a minor miracle) so that I can track on the go, and hopefully to encourage myself to track at all.
*Bought some fresh fruits and Veggies while grocery shopping (see Bad)
*Ate the least amount ever at the Breakfast Buffet (But still a lot of food, so see bad)
*Ate Veggies, once. (Iknow, Lame, but gotta start somewhere)
The Bad :
*Went to the Buffet, knowing that I would pig out, which I did, but considered it a minor victory that I ate less than I ever have before.
*No intentional exercise
*Didn't really track my food, and didn't really give too much thought to whether I was eating healthy or not, or to my portions.
*Fast food twice, and the buffet. Most likely each MEAL was between 1500-2000 calories. This is a double fail, both in diet and budget. I also made cookies at ate 2/3 of them myself.
Goals for Week 2: Drink one bottle of water a day (up from my usual zero water consumption), Exercise 10 minutes 3 times, and try to eat one serving of fruit or veggies a day. Baby Steps!
Thursday, January 03, 2013
Thus far, my journey has consisted of writing a blog, downloading the SP app, and posting on a few blogs. It hasn't yet touched my eating or physical exertion (or lack there of). But while striving to do better, I am going to be happy with any baby steps that I make.
While leaving a comment on a blog, I had kind of a revelation about my journey. I think for a long time I've felt guilty. I was doing so well. I had lost 90 pounds, I had virtually cut out fast food and processed food. I had given up caffeine, and rarely drank soda. I had exercised religiously an hour a day 6 days a week.
And then I fell in love, and my Mom got cancer, and life got crazy. I slipped a bit, my eating took a hit, as I constantly running around, and I didn't always have time to exercise. And I gained 8 pounds. And then I found out I was pregnant. At age 36, after trying for 12 years in my previous marriage. I was unexpectedly pregnant by my boyfriend of 5 months.
That time is such a blur of Mom's chemo and hospitalizations, morning sickness and exhaustion, quickie wedding, Mom's liver transplant, and then My daughter was here. I gained 39 pounds in my pregnancy, and quickly lost about 20 of it. But then Mom moved out of state. I would take the baby to work with my during the day after only 2 weeks , and hubby worked nights, so I was alone with the baby all night.
And I started eating a lot. with all the hormone changes, lack of sleep and being alone so much. I never did add any exercise back in, and my eating habits progressive got worse and worse. I gained back the 20 pounds that I lost postpartum, in just a few months, and over the next year I added another 20 to them.
I've been beating myself up for along time for getting so off track, for gaining so much weight, for going back to my unhealthy habits.
But today, when I was reminding someone else that it's not about the destination, but the journey, and that sometimes you go off on tangents or even get lost and that's OK, because you are still on the journey.
And suddenly I realized that I've been beating myself up for so long, over something that I wouldn't change for anything. My daughter, my little miracle, is worth EVERY ONE OF THOSE 60 POUNDS. She'd be worth 100.
Yeah, I could be at my goal weight right now. So what??
So it was easier back then, I had time to exercise, I had time to cook, I had money for healthy food. Those small "pluses" are so immeasurably insignificant compared to my family.
Wednesday, January 02, 2013
A few weeks back I went to the Dr. for my yearly checkup. I had a litany of small complaints, for all which she told me to LOSE WEIGHT.
I used to know how to do that. I knew how to eat, I knew how to exercise, I knew how to combat my Insulin Resistance and my PCOS.
But a few years later and all I have are excuses why it's not possible. I think the thing that sucks is that many of my excuses are actually valid. No matter how much I WANT to, I won't be able to lose weight like I did back then.
First off, I'm not single, I have a husband and a 18 month old daughter. My husband works nights, and we split child care to avoid daycare. So there is a definite time issue, as I am either at work, on baby watch, or sleeping.
Secondly, we are broke. Our grocery budget really can't feed 3 people (and 2 dogs) and it certainly can't do it healthfully. My husband and I eat the unhealthy processed foods, and try to say the fresh fruits and veggies for our daughter. But who has time to cook or even shop for that matter?
Thirdly...exercise...again time is an issue...not to mention exhaustion. My daughter often gets up at 5, and I'll just say straight out that getting up at 4, is not going to happen! I've tried to exercise at night...but I'm a morning person, and my Sciatica is usually pretty bad by evening.
I know these excuses don't matter. I know that others have it worse. It's just that it was so hard last time, and I didn't have all these disadvantages!
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
I have come to the conclusion that with my PCOS induced Insulin Resistance for which I take Metformin, I cannot cut out carbs completely.
I ate plenty yesterday morning, and continually, and my stomach would not stop growling. Finally, when my husband brought the baby at Lunch, I said "Bring the Leftover Pizza". 3 Pieces later, I felt full and finally NOT HUNGRY.
So I came to the conclusion that adding some fruit and starchy veggies and the occasional high fiber grain is necessary for me.
Good Things about Yesterday: I got 38 minutes of exercise on my treadmill, for the first time in many many months.
Bad Things about Yesterday: After the somewhat understandable Pizza fiasco, I decided that the day was already ruined so.....Arby's for Dinner!
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