Friday, August 22, 2014
"I don't care about my weight....I just want to be healthy"
I can't even imagine how many times I've said that in the past. And I meant it...kinda. Because Yeah, who doesn't want to be healthy? But let's be honest, there was a good part of wanting to look a certain way in there too!
Now for the first time, I've reached a junction where I'm comfortable and secure enough in my body, and my health is precarious enough to be concerned about, that I honestly mean that. I don't care about my weight, I just want to be healthy.
Saturday, April 19, 2014
Hubby and I had a special date, which is always amazing between our schedules and our toddler. Had Lunch (Salad Bar and a few bites of soup), went to a Movie, then for a frozen yogurt (I kept mine small with healthier toppings). My only "Bad" choices of the day were when we stopped at Mcdonald's for my daughter who was hungry and cranky (it was already an hour past her bedtime and dinnertime and we were 40 minutes from home.
Still, I had 1/3 of a grilled chicken sandwhich, 1/3 of a medium fry, and a few bites of just the meat/cheese of a mcdouble.
I did so well, and kept my portions in really good shape, but it was still the most food that I ate in weeks, as I've been struggling with the Lump in my throat (that is most likely GERD or LPR related). And I only took my Anxiety meds twice, instead of the four times it's been lately (I am just on a "as needed" for panic attacks, and right now for this lump issue).
The amazing thing is that for once, I had all my freggies, and tons of water. So glad to be feeling better!
Thursday, April 17, 2014
I broke down and sobbed to my husband last night. I was so miserable with gas and bloating and this incessant lump (the current theory is that it's GERD or LPR).
I knew that I couldn't ask "Why is this happening to me?" I know why. For so many years I abused my body, drinking 30-60 ounces of Diet Coke, and living on Chicken Biscuits, and Double Cheeseburgers and Donuts.
I know that I don't necessarily deserve a second chance, but I want so badly to someday be able to exercise, and eat healthy, and heal my body.
Thursday, April 17, 2014
I realized this morning how much I am like my 3 year old daughter. From the time she was a tiny baby, I often had to "manage" her by showing her that things could be worse. Like if she was fussy because she didn't want to be in her jumparoo, I would put her down for a nap, when she REALLy didn't want that, she would then be quite content in her jumparoo..
This lump that I've had in my throat for the past 12 days has half driven me crazy. At first I thought I was never going to be able to handle it. And then the last 3 days it got worse, culminating in a horrible time last night where I was gagging and choking because the lump had moved up and was affecting my gag reflex. I couldn't eat (even chicken broth set me off an made me feel miserable).
So this morning, when I woke up with just the plain old regular lump, I was so happy. 10 days ago, you could have never convinced me that I would be happy to have this irritating uncomfortable lump. But at least today it's not choking me, and I think I might be able to eat a little bit....
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
So, for my Insulin Resistance, I need to lean on the side of lower carbs. But to help with Acid Reflux (and hopefully get rid of this anxiety causing huge lump in throat once and for all!), you are supposed to be careful with fat.
Which leaves me with Protein? I can only eat so much protein, not to mention that I can't think of a single Protein that doesn't have fat. Ok, I lied, I just thought of egg whites. But I can't live on egg whites!
I can't stress about it too much. I mean, I'm going from drinking 60 ounces of diet coke a day, and living on fast food and junk food. So It's probably pretty stupid to be worrying about this right now.
Get An Email Alert Each Time DICHOTOMYGIRL Posts