Friday, April 11, 2014
I talked to a Dr today,,,, about how I KEEP TRYING SO HARD to lose. we talked about "how are your eating habits"? He was quite impressed over all the changes I've made,,, agreed that SHOULD WORK !!
Than he asked about my exercising. I told him,, some days 60 mins of swimming,, other days swimming and yoga or yoga and some walking (though at the moment the walking is becoming less and less,, as I head towards,,, surg #18 on feet,,, hmmm I'd have to guess that 13 of those have been the left foot,,, which it'll be AGAIN !)
Than he said "you should be losing weight, but you know with all the changes you have made, are you aware of the latest studies in which states that an obese person can be HEALTHIER than a thin one? It's about being healthy which matters". I had read this, but I had NOT taken it to heart,, now I need to try too.
For some of you it appears easier to lose,,, and lose and lose,,, and yes,,, while I CONGRATS ya,, I also cry for myself,,,, in that it's JUST NOT WORKING FOR ME !!
So with his words,,, I of course HAD to AKNOWLEDGE that I AM MUCH Healthier, though my "BMI" does NOT reflect this,,,,
I had a Dr once who said to me "you NEED to LOSE WEIGHT to help your back !!" And he was sooo UGLY about it. He WIZZED ME OFF for HE had a POUCH that stuck out quite a bit. I resorted back to him "So do YOU" !!! How I WISH I could now talk to him,, and point out to him ALL the changes I've made,, how much "HEALTHIER" I am now than I was at that time. I NEVER EVER thought I'd be STRONG enough to NOT have pepsi thru the entire day,, let alone GIVE IT UP (now I am highly allergic to caffeine,, wonder if it's cos I drank so much? I ended up in the ER after a sip of it,,, was told to NEVER Have it again,, I was on the verge of a stroke from it). So who knows,,, maybe in that ALONE, I've saved my life? That cant of course be answered,,,, for I didn't continue on with it.
So I must resign myself to be being OBESE at 220,,,, so today I went out and bought some new cothes at my CURRENT LARGE SIZE that REALLY Fit,, and you know what? I FEEL GOOD about it. I have gone the usual up and down,, was into a size large on top,, and an XL on the bottom,,,, but, for the past 5 or so months,,, Ive NOT bought new clothes til recently,,, and realize I am clearly a size 24 on the bottom,, and WOW DO THOSE JEANS LOOK GREAT ON ME !!! And on the top,,, I've gone back up to a 1X. I do not of course "like the sizes" , but I DO LOVE MYSELF,,,, what else could be MORE PRECIOUS than that???
I ve decided I am going to to into maintance and FORGET the effort of "LOSING" for my body just wants to be HEALTHY and the weight does NOT MATTER !! What DOES matter,, is that I am a HAPPY person,,,, who's still of course going to KEEP ON WORKING on STAYING and even getting HEALTHIER !!!!
HUGS !! may YOU EMBRACE URSELF at where it is you are at.
Thursday, April 10, 2014
Today I saw the DO who does my back, neck, legs and ribs. I told him how much pain I was in after the last session 2 weeks ago. He agreed to be MUCH easiah on my ribs. Still as I sit here,,, and usually the first day I am "ok" ,,,, I can feel my ribs.
its the 2nd day (Tomorrow Fri) and the following day,, that REALLY have me BEGGING FOR MERCY !!! OH YEAH !!! So why do I bother to go? I NEED to get better,,, and once Sunday will come along,,, I'll be sooo much off,, that it's worth it !!! Though tomorrow I will barely be able to breathe,, also the D.O. is teaching methods to be "kinder to my body" and how to sit up properly etc. I do have a back brace,, which when I wear it,, if I am going to be up for a 1/2 hr or longer,,, that helps A LOT !! THANKS to that foolish brace,, I can attend my religious meetings now,,,, without it,, NO WAY !!
This coming week,,, will be a TERRORIZING WEEK upon my body !! A LOT of religious meetings.
sun ,, normal 1 hr and 45 mins
Mon, Memorial of Jesus death ,,,, about 45 mins
Tues , special speaker,,, 1 hr 45 mins
Thurs, special speaker,,,, 1 hr 15 mins
Sat, I jump over circuits and go to a special day all day assembly for us,,, will be from 9 to 5
Sun, back to our meeting place,, special speaker,,,
SO ALL but, Weds are TAKEN !!! HOW WILL I DO THIS?? I can BARELY at times do 2 meetings,, and this is 5 !!!! So well,, I can also tie into the meetings by phone,, so I will prob do so on Sun, tues, the following Sun. I am just not strong enough.
This will greatly affect my exercise this coming week. This week, I've been shooting for 120 or ORE a day,, for it helps soo much with the pain I am in. Next week,, we are going swimming 2 times instead of 3,, and I know I am not going on Fri,, not sure about my swimming partner or what days she wishes,,, for the swimming as with me,, also helps her.
So yeah,, I am down and OUT for a few days.
I have also been stepping on the scale,, it's the "USUAL" I stay in range daily,, track even the smallest morsel that goes in,, and this week,,, the scale is saying I have gone UP a lb. SIGH !! I REALLY NEED to see my Doc,, but, that's not til May 8th. SO FAR away when I feel like I am dying inside of discouragement at this,, other than KNOWING For SURE I am DOING the RIGHt thing,, and it HAS to pay off???? Well with my body,, and all I face,, maybe I'll never lose,,, but at least I am A LOT healthier than I was even a yr ago.
Tuesday, April 08, 2014
Tonight I tried WATER AEROBICS Deep end !!
YO !!! It was a GUININE WORK OUT FOR SURAH !!!
It was ALSO HARD in that I could NOT see what it was I was doing. I had thought that water googles may help, but my head is above the water ALL the time. MOst DO NO EVEN get their hair wet !! but the instructor wears his glasses,, and they have a TON of spots on them,,,, and I cannot STAND ANY SPotTS on my glasses !! So that's a NO GO !!!
I am also hard of hearing,, and depend on lip reading,, with the limited hearing I do have. And of course they were playing music,,, and it was NOT good for me,,, I need complete silence, but many have no clue of this. He got out and "turned it down"???? I couldn't tell he had.
He was VERY NICE !! there was a nice mixture of men and woman. Can be up to 20 plus taking a class,, thankfully tonight only about 10 ! YEAH GOOD NIGHT FOR THIS !!
It was FUN and INTERESTING,, and ALSO kinda FRUSTRATING cos they go REALLY FAST,,, all else have been for quite some time. They do not start out with new classes,,, just keep them going and going. So I have A LOT TO LEARN !! I think I'll look some of the moves online,, and see if I can "see" "hear" them to understand them.
I was clearly the LAST to finish when we swam up and down the pool,, HAHAHA SO I GOT TO CHEAT and do the 1/2 of it that others were doing ! WOOHOOO I LOVE IT !!
Did you KNOW you CAN get HOT in the water,, and FEEL like you are SWEATING??? I HAD NOT had this feeling since I was a JR life guard,,,, and had to swim over 5 miles with my clothing (Long jeans,,, long sleeve shirt,, bra,, panties, socks, and sneakers on),,,, that was HARD back then,,, and after 30 mins,, that's how I felt again,,, FINALL 10 mins before it was done for cool down,,,,, I was READY TO LEAVE !! NOT BAD !! it took me 40 mins to get to that point !!!! NOT BAD for the 1st time ! WOOF HOOO !!!
ALSO I HAD TO PEE !! LOL DO NOT U HATE THAT????? Its hard to hold it,,,,,,,, but, yeah,, who wants the water to turn color,,, ?????
Will I do this AGAIN????
OH YEAH !! Probably again on Weds !
Friday, April 04, 2014
today was quite an interesting day 11
I met with my Foot surgeon (I also have a foot dr),,, and he was teaching a bunch of Dr's who have been in practice for quite some time,,,, one of them had a lot of white hair,, as does he. there were about 10 to 12 of them, pls my dr. (hmm caps aren't working sorry !)
he wanted to show them my leg from the neuropathy surg,, which wAs a BOOMing success 11 I told them how I went from 8 pills down to 3,,, from being in my wheelchair ALL the time,,, to now being able to WALK 2 MILES when I am up to it,,, that's my back,, not feet though.
Also he told them how the recent surg in nov,,, was ALSO a Huge success,,, it was to tuck a nerve which felt as if it was on FIRE under neath a huge callous of my left foot,, big toe. he did the surg,,, and the fire is gONE !1 woohooo 111 it is great to not feel that now 11 oh YEAH 1!1
they all poked, prodded my legs,,, had me stand to do this and that,,, and than sit,,, and do morah,,, than I showed my Dr a new problem which has cropped upped,,, and they AlL discussed what to do. It was a great opportunity for them to learn from such an experienced, and WIse Dr. For one Dr there would of done an unnecessary surg ! oh my goodness 1
that was sooo much fun to the MAX 111 I laughed,, joked around some, but was mostly very serious,, for I want others to ALso benefit,, esp if they have neuropathy,,,,,, it hurts sooo wickly much,,, that I had broken 2 bones,, and wALKED ON them 111 I knew they were broken only cos I was sick to my stomach,,, and had a special type of headache,,, but hey, I could walk on 2 broken bones in the left foot. that foot Dr was shocked,,, kep;t saying 'it can't be broken, ur walking on it" than as I went to leave his office,, he decided he had better be safe,,, took xrays,,, came into the room,, put them up on the light thingie,,, as he was saying 'I know you didn't but, we will look",, than his mouth dropped ! I had. hehehehehe poor thing,,, see if you also have neuropathy,, you Know how very painful it is. I was put into an air cast for the longest time,, as I am a slow healer.
so today was a ball !!! I hope if any of you have any foot probs,, you will get them looked into quickly,, perhaps if I had,, i'd not be in so deep as I am. maybe???? My entire fam has feet pr;obs,, and I was born 2 1/2 month early,,, that's a part of why I do not do well health wise.
LOVE TODAY !! On my way now to go wimming,, and RUNNING LATe !!
BYerS !! BYERS !!
Tuesday, April 01, 2014
The title says it ALL "Shall Success "BE MINE"???
This is WELL In MY OWN CONTROL !! Oh yeah,,, in the past,,, I've FLUFFED OFF and it SHOWS when I DO !!! NO DOUBT !! one can NOT eat a triple layer piece of GIANTANT CAKE and STILL LOSE,, or 4 bowls of ICE CREAM and HAVE IT NOT SHOW !!
So we are about to embark upon the SPRING 5% challenge ,,, and what WILL HAPPEN THIS TIME??? Its ALL UP TO ME !! NO ONE else "can control" what goes into my mouth !! Sure I have a friend who LOVES to give me FATTENING FOODS,, but, I THINK???? I have her now,, convienced that this is a NO NO and that as I told her before,, "I'll only throw it away" and I DID !!! While that UPSET HER, it was even MORAH UPSETTING to ME that she GAVE IT TO ME !!!! that just shows a TOTAL LACK of RESPECT towards me when someone does this,, it IS NOT an "ACT OF LOVE" ,, for LOVE SUPPORTS the EFFORTS we are making.
I am on the SUD team (Spirited Under Dawgs) ,,, and this time around,, I want to AT LEAST LOSE 2.5 % of my total expected,,, I KNOW,, I KNOW it's SUPPOSED to be 5% , but as of lately,, my body is FIGHTING ME !! I THOUGHT I had an appt with the Dr this month ,, early so,, but I just looked,, and it's NoT til MAY 8th !! So that'll be NO HELP for this challenge,,, but HOPEFULLY I'll get some answers for the SUMMAH challenge on why is it I have the WORSE Time in losing.
OR WILL I????? I've LOST 4 lbs in 2 weeks, but I had SUDDENLY GAINED 4 lbs on week 8 of the WINTAH Challenge,, how I WISh tose 4 lbs could of been DURING the SPRING challenge, but hey,, it's STILL GREAT and I'll TAKE THEM !!! now to get UNDAH 220,,,, if I CAN ??? IF I CAN????? If my body allows it, but WHAT does this mean?
Itll mean I MUST work out and SINCERELY SO !! NOT just a few mins, or even an hr,, and call it THAT !! I've been doing SPARKS WAY TO LONG that an HR is going to work out well,, though there are days I am in such pain,,, I MAY have to "Accept" that, but it will NOT be DAILY.
ALSO I NEED to keep on tracking my food,, I am VERY GOOD at this now,, and it makes such a diff,,, for without tracking,, how DO I know if I am WAY UNDER the cals I am supposed to eat? If I am,, I WILL NOT LOSE !! the morah exercise one does, the more you burn cals, but the MORAH CALS ONE NEEDS to eat to keep the body from burning itself out and than it will NOT LOSE !! I think that has been a MAIN problem? ut its corrected now,, thankfully !!
SO SORRY for the mistakes,, I am tired and can barely see,, so night t'all !! HOPE you SLEPT WELL !! Which is ANOTHER reason I AM NOT LOSING WELL,,, I get in about 4 hrs,, no matter what !! When my body does FINALLY crash ,, I'll get in 7 or 8,, for 2 days,, than back to 4 hrs,, for a month or MORE !
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