Saturday, February 05, 2011
I soooo know what you are talking about when you say you are tired of resisting your DH's snacks. I have chocolate wrappers left on DH's side table in the TV room calling my name (yes, we're on a first-name basis! Hi Diane, come and get me! Yum, yum, yum, I'm waiting for youhoo!) and the coconut jam rolls in the cupboards... next to DH's heart meds (!!!) and the maple cookies still waiting for the grandkids to return (but I put packing tape on those suckers to stop me from snacking in the middle of the night, you know, after I got up a fourth time to use the washroom) etc., etc., etc. Every once in a while when the b.... the b..... the beast in me has had enough, I'll have a good old fashioned fight with DH and accuse him of trying to lead me astray on purpose. When I calm down, he assures me that he's so proud of my progress so far and urges me to keep going. If that's the case, he sure has a funny way to show his support. But I know what you are talking about. It's the constant nagging those treats are for you, isn't it! One can resist only so long. Sooner or later, Iíll have a bar or little cake but I'm careful not to go berserk on those. Once I get this out of the way, I get back on track as soon as I can. What can I say other than "life happens" and life is not always perfect. One thing is for sure, Iím still ahead of the game because a few months ago, I would have had that snack every time my DH did.
I know too how you feel about often blogging about falling off the wagon. OK, I'm starting to really, I mean REALLY hate that expression. But seriously, this is why we are here. isn't it? We support each others when the hard times are here and help each others from making more bad decisions. The bottom line is that, contrary to the popular belief, we are not perfect and we will fall from time to time. The trick is to get back up and learn something on the way. Which brings me to last night.
After struggling a bit in January, I found again some of my initial motivation and I had a great week. I stayed pretty much within my calorie range, exercised daily, drank all my 8 glasses of water and a couple more. However... (you knew there was a but in there somewhere, didn't you) I had to attend a social event which lasted until 8 p.m. There was no food served at all and when I got home, I completely blew it; I mean doubled my calories blew it. And it wasn't the chocolate bars that did it; itís the fat content of the food I ate. I was so hungry that I ate the equivalent of a dinner when I was preparing the dinner. I ate everything I could put my hands on. LESSON LEARNED: DON'T EVER LET YOURSELF GO TOO HUNGRY. I should have brought a Nutribar or a fruit (or two) with me and I should have ate it on the drive back home. By then, my stomach would have had the time to register the food intake and the outcome would not have been so dramatic. And afterward, once I got to the food tracker to record all of it, I was first a little surprised at the amount of calories consumed. Then the feelings poured in: I was ashamed of myself (after the fact of courseÖ), I was angry at myself for not having the will to make smarter food choices - and I know better, I was disappointed at myself for slowing my weight loss progress that way. We are educated and smart people yet, how is it we keep on doing this? Is it sufficient to say that we need that break every once in a while, that we are human and are not perfect and that we make mistakes and will likely continue to make them. Iíd say that itís probably the correct answer(s). Iíd say that the difference here is that now we have learned to pick ourselves up as often as necessary and to keep on keeping.
For me today, it was all about damage control with double time on the cardio. Perhaps, pretty please with a cherry on top, the scale will be kind to me tomorrow. If not, I certainly know why!!!
No matter, KEEP ON SPARKING, you'll get there.
Me : ) ** Make it Happen in 2011 **
Tuesday, February 01, 2011
Boy! I'm glad January is done. It's been my hardest month so far in all aspects: calorie count, exercising, motivation, even water! So glad it's behind me. Now looking ahead, this month, I will work on rectifying all the above and especially work on:
1) Drinking at least 8 glasses of water/day: I sometimes struggle with this. I think I'll buy an inexpensive timer watch for when I'm on the go to remind me on the hour to drink 8 oz. When I'm at home, putting the timer on the stove works well.
2) Controlling portion size: I've always eaten large portions and still do large salads. I'll work on eating half that salad at meal time and half as a snack later. Hopefully, that will help with mindless snacking as well. And talking about snacking, I've had a bit of a set back with snacking at night and during the night. I will try to remember to brush my teeth every time I get a snack attack 'after hours'.
3) Preparing ahead of time for the grandkids:
Eating: It's been a little difficult to stay the course when they are here. So, I'll prepare meals ahead and reheat them when needed.
Exercising: I'll find a dvd geared to get kids involved in moving. Someone suggested dancing with kids. I'll look for that.
Drinking: 'When I gotta go, I gotta go now,' so I've been intentionally refraining from drinking so much water when they are here. But this month, I'll keep on drinking on the hour and see what happens. If it works, all the better. If not, that's life!
Diane : ) ** Make it Happen in 2011 **
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Was commenting on a blog and realized, again, that it is what I wanted to say today. Talking about bariatric surgery, this is what I said, "It's a big step. Are you sure you can't lose the weight the conventional way? I was also considering it for a while until the day I had almost convinced my GP to recommend me for it (in order to be covered by our health plan), I chickened out at the last minute. For whatever reason, I wanted to give it one more try on my own. I knew deep down that I had not given my commitment to ALL those programs I tried before. I would do the diet part but not the exercise part. Of course, I'd give up and blame the diet program of the day for failing and would pack on the pounds until the next 'magic cure' would come my way. Now twice the weight I should be, I realize that I have to re-educate myself on healthy living and truly participate. And yes, it's hard, and it's slow in my case because I have difficulty with portion control but it's worth it. I have been with SP 6 months today and have lost 40 lbs. I know I could have lost a lot more by now but life happens all around me and I have to learn to live with it. The important thing is that I am sticking with it and slowly but surely, I am changing my bad habits and replacing them with better ones, much better ones. When I have ups, I try to encourage other sparkers. When I have downs, I reach out to get a boost of energy and motivation and get back on track. And I will get there. I will get back to that 150 lbs I used to think was soooo big before. And what happens after that will only be the cherry on top..."
I just have had a couple of bad weeks and my weight is showing it. I have been hovering around the 240 lbs mark for three weeks now. A few times lately I have not been able to exercise (sometimes, my body has a mind of its own and just does not want to cooperate) and found myself using all kinds of stalling excuses.
It's time to rededicate myself to the cause. It's time I go back on all my blogs and read them over to get my mojo back; it's time to change my exercise routine; it's time to complete that motivation board I never got around, strike that, I never took the time to finish (I did confess before that I was a procrastinator.) It's time to stop blogging and get moving.
I can do this! I will do this!
Here's to the next six month!
Me : ) ** Make it Happen in 2011 **
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
I realized now that there is no easy way to lose weight. You have to be willing to walk the walk and talk the talk. I've been on so many diets before and spent so much $ on losing propositions hoping that dieting alone could do the trick. It does not! Those diets did not work for me and, to be real, I was not ready to work for them either. I'd lose a little bit of weight, soon got bored and gave it up and finally regained the weight and much more. This time, it's going to be different! I guess I had to experience being completed defeated when shopping for clothes, I had to experience the pain in my ankles, my knees, my hips, I had to experience the feeling of being smothered by my own breasts when lying in bed, and I guess I had to reach my top weight of 281 lbs before I finally said, "ENOUGH! I want my life back."
My approach is different this time. I'm learning to forgive myself and I'm learning that it's OK to fall off the wagon as long as I don't stay down. The fact is that life happens all around me and I might as well learn to deal with it. In my world, DH likes junk food and although he's making an effort to be supportive, he does not like most of what I now eat. So, there is all kinds of tempting, unhealthy food in the house. I'm learning to deal with it. We also live in the country and go to town a couple of times a month to do some shopping and/or pick-up the grandchildren. I've sometimes brought my own lunch but I've also stopped at burger joints for a bite - Like I said, Life Happens! As long as I'm accountable for it and as long as I don't do it too often, I forgive myself and get back on track the very next meal. I've left behind my "all or nothing" attitude about dieting; it didn't work for me in the past and will never work for me either. I'm also working on an interesting concept one of my favorite sparkers has adopted - food as fuel. To see and use food only as fuel, take the nutrients you need to keep going and remove the perfect taste combination would allow me to not crave for a special food and help me not overeat. Anyways, I still have to work it out in my mind.
What is also different is that this time I've learned that I'm not too fat to exercise. I do not execute the moves with as impeccable a form as I should use, but I'm doing it the best way I can right now and as my body shrinks and allows me more flexibility, the form will improve with time. A few months ago, I did not think I could do as much.
Lastly, I've learn that the daily support system is very, very important. I've read so many interesting and uplifting stories and I've met electronically so many interesting and uplifting individuals that I feel I can't fail anymore. This time, it is different. This time, it will happen!
Thank you to all of you who have given me encouragement over the past few months. I hope you realize how important to me you have become.
Diane : ) ** Make it Happen in 2011 **
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