DIABLORAUL   3,049
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Stressed

Monday, August 03, 2009



It's 5:45 a.m. and I haven't slept at all yet. I weighed myself two days ago and I am 210 pounds. I actually gained 6 pounds in 4 weeks of being back down in Florida. My belly is sticking out so bad I feel that I look pregnant. Considering I am a man, this is disturbing. I went out to a club on Saturday night and instead of feeling great and relaxed, I felt really stressed out. I'll get to that in my next paragraph.

In addition to my weight issues, I've (as always) been thinking about my life and my direction. I made promises to myself that I have not been keeping.

1. Finding a job -I stopped looking for work because I was getting stressed out about it. Now, I am stressed that I stopped looking. What a vicious cycle

2. Getting out of debt - In the past, I was in debt up to my neck. I didn't tell anyone but I slowly paid off my credit card bills until I owned nothing. I promised myself I would never put myself in that boat again. Here I am, back up to my neck in debt with no solution in sight. This is constantly on my mind.

3. Saving money for a apartment/house - I don't want to move back home with my parents in a year. I hate New Jersey and I don't want to return to a place where I am in a perpetual state of misery.

4. Losing weight and staying in shape - I stopped caring about what I ate. I can at least try to fix this.

5. Try new things and be more social - I've actually been keeping up with this one a little. I've gone to two new places this past week and I've been hanging out with different people. I've reached out to another friend and I am keeping in touch with some people back home. Still, I feel as if I need to continue to keep up my effort to be more extroverted.

It's horrible to realize that even though I have progressed in my academic/education life, I am not as well rounded as I want to be. However, I will make my best effort starting 6:00 a.m. to curb all of these aspects of my life which are depressing me so much. The road to success is difficult but I will endure.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

APIKACHU 8/21/2009 2:10AM

    My situation is much like your own and I hope we can pull through these tough times. It's good to have control over the things we can despite suffering through the things we can't. Let's be strong men!

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LOBO1978_2000 8/5/2009 9:10AM

    Money is usually the number one cause of stress.

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ELVENSONG1 8/3/2009 8:11PM

    I hear ya with all of it. Looking at it all can be overwhelming. Try just a small chunk. Thinking of you.

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DSHRUBS3 8/3/2009 9:01AM

    Try not to let yourself get overwhelmed with everything. Try to make your changes by tackling one thing at a time. It also helps if you alternate between the easy and hard changes so that you have the feelings of accomplishment that help you push yourself to keep going. Good Luck!

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Stressed

Monday, August 03, 2009



It's 5:45 a.m. and I haven't slept at all yet. I weighed myself two days ago and I am 210 pounds. I actually gained 6 pounds in 4 weeks of being back down in Florida. My belly is sticking out so bad I feel that I look pregnant. Considering I am a man, this is disturbing. I went out to a club on Saturday night and instead of feeling great and relaxed, I felt really stressed out. I'll get to that in my next paragraph.

In addition to my weight issues, I've (as always) been thinking about my life and my direction. I made promises to myself that I have not been keeping.

1. Finding a job -I stopped looking for work because I was getting stressed out about it. Now, I am stressed that I stopped looking. What a vicious cycle

2. Getting out of debt - In the past, I was in debt up to my neck. I didn't tell anyone but I slowly paid off my credit card bills until I owned nothing. I promised myself I would never put myself in that boat again. Here I am, back up to my neck in debt with no solution in sight. This is constantly on my mind.

3. Saving money for a apartment/house - I don't want to move back home with my parents in a year. I hate New Jersey and I don't want to return to a place where I am in a perpetual state of misery.

4. Losing weight and staying in shape - I stopped caring about what I ate. I can at least try to fix this.

5. Try new things and be more social - I've actually been keeping up with this one a little. I've gone to two new places this past week and I've been hanging out with different people. I've reached out to another friend and I am keeping in touch with some people back home. Still, I feel as if I need to continue to keep up my effort to be more extroverted.

It's horrible to realize that even though I have progressed in my academic/education life, I am not as well rounded as I want to be. However, I will make my best effort starting 6:00 a.m. to curb all of these aspects of my life which are depressing me so much. The road to success is difficult but I will endure.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AUDREYM82 8/3/2009 8:42AM

    Honestly, you are wasting the opportunity you have. Everything can be fixed. Maybe the job part might take a little longer than expected but if you keep trying eventually something will stick. You have to have perseverance. No matter how many doors are shut in your face you pick yourself back up and try again. It's definitely not easy but if you don't try then it will never happen.

As far as the weight and health issue goes you have access to a gym 24/7. You have class twice a month and no job. You are telling me that you can't get up early and go to the gym? Give me a break. Make it a priority to get to the gym as early in the day as you can. It will help with the stress you are feeling about the other things and boosts your motivation, mood, confidence, and sense of accomplishment in 60 mins or less.

You can't save money for a house or anything of the sort until you fix the whole debt and job situation so why stress about that? Take it one step at a time.

That is the sisterly advice I can give you. It will all work out. Just have to have a little patience.

Oh and p.s. I told you to find out about the parking situation because you can drive from your apt to class and the gym on campus although I wouldn't suggest driving to the gym if you could jog there and use that as a warm up to your workout. This would be more beneficial for class.

Comment edited on: 8/3/2009 8:44:03 AM

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Trying Again

Thursday, July 16, 2009



Back once again, on Sparkpeople. Trying to lose about 35 - 45 pounds off my body. Especially the stomach area since that is the worse place to have fat. All those important organs are there. I'm back in Florida and I have access to the gym again but I am being too lazy to go. It sucks that I have to take a school shuttle back and forth all the time.

Speaking of, I begin my Master's of Business Administration classes tomorrow. I'm so excited!!! Well I'm going to try to stick to my plans best I can here. Hopefully, I'll stay motivated enough this time around to finish what I started.

  


Conclusions

Sunday, May 31, 2009



Finally I am not complaining about being in pain. I'm rested up and ready for a work out but this is not the topic of my blog either.


I just want to say that certain events have happened to me which I am happy to say have concluded certain chapters of my life that had been left unresolved. I don't want to go into detail about it but I cannot express how relieved I am that I don't have to carry around the burden that I did carry on my shoulders. It took a lot of courage and awkwardness to apologize and say what needed to be said (at least from my point of view) and surprisingly I did some forgiving of my own.

Overall, these few weeks back home have been enlightening and have made this place a little more endearing to me. I am actually thinking about staying home but I will not get carried away. One step at a time!

P.S. I lost 1 1/2 pounds last week and I didn't even focus on eating healthy.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LOBO1978_2000 6/1/2009 8:59AM

    Congrats on graduating.

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FIGHT THROUGH THE PAIN!!!

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Well my body has been further beaten apart but this time it is from my job. I had to unload a 40ft trailer with 1300 to 1500 rolls of fabric. They each must have weighed at least 50-60 pounds each. Not to mention we had to carry them several feet from inside the trailer to the pallets they were being sorted on. By the time my co-workers and I finished, we were all beaten to a pulp. By the end of the shift, I was almost unable to walk. I feel proud of myself though for finishing through it withou

All this work for $10.50, not worth it at all. This makes me appreciate getting an education and being able to be more selective with my career path.

Needless to say, I didn't need to work out yesterday and today I wasn't feeling any better. Especially my arms and shoulder were hurting quite a bit. I don't find the pain to be so debilitating anymore. In fact, the pain is making me feel more alive than ever, if that makes any sense. I guess I mean that it make me feel like I have actually done something with my life rather than sit around playing World of Warcraft and partying up with friends.

I've been living a humbler life since I have come home. I haven't gone to any bars at all and I haven't really drank alcohol. I've been active working and I come home and relax all night. I haven't seen the majority of my friends here but I know I will see the people that count in my life eventually. I'm way more focused on finding a job in Florida in order to get out of here earlier than expected. I might have found something but I am crossing my fingers that its real.

I don't know what else to say except that even though my body is broken my spirit is better than ever. I will continue to work out and hopefully put myself in a better situation!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AEMILIA 5/31/2009 11:08PM

    I know the sore-but-good feeling - it really is different to have your muscles aching because you accomplished something, as opposed to because you slumped in front of the computer all day.

Good luck with the Florida job!

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