DGILBRIDE1949   65,196
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What if they had a Black Friday and nobody came?

Friday, November 23, 2012

I hate to sound like a' spoil sport', but is THIS what it's really about?

Is they anything that any of us need so badly that it can't be purchased on any of the other 364 days of the year?

How do you feel about this?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SILLYHP1953 12/4/2012 9:45PM

    There sure wasn't anything this year I wanted on Black Friday and I did no shopping. but last year I did want a blue Nintendo Wii and went to Wal-Mart Thursday night...never again. Never ever again.

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SAMMIESMOM13 11/26/2012 10:10AM

    I don't do them either. Ridiculous. If one plans to purchase something, they will purchase it at 8am or 9am if there was no "5am" or Thurs. now. Absolutely ridiculous. It's become about "things" rather than family. Sad.

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MARITIMER3 11/24/2012 11:38PM

    The Black Friday sales are just starting to come into Canada, and are much lower key than in the U.S. When I see stories on tv about the huge crowds, pushing and even fights that break out in some of the lines, I know that I would never take part in sales like that.

I've been cutting back on my Christmas spending since I retired. We live in a small town and I do as much shopping as I can locally, do some of the rest on-line and make only one visit to a large mall... no later than the first week of December. I also make charitable donations to a charity which I know my children are particularly interested in as part of their gift.

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DEBBY4576 11/23/2012 3:53PM

    The great prices are too tempting. So I don't look at the ads. The crowds just aren't worth the stress of Black Friday, or Black Thursday now uh? So I agree with you.

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AMYISSUCCEEDING 11/23/2012 11:02AM

    I agree! I don't like crowds and I don't do Black Friday

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Readjusting Our Priorities

Wednesday, May 02, 2012

I am a security guard in a high-rise building that are so common in every city. In the United States security guards are known to receive low wages, but I am very happy to have the job, and can pay my bills.

One of the companies upstairs is a call center for a multi-million dollar corporation.

Over the years I have been told how much the members of the call center are making per hour. Not surprised but still shocked, I discovered that their monthly take home pay was five to six times higher then what I made.

Every day I would watch these people going to and from work and try to imagine what I would do with all my money if my pay was the same as theirs.

One day a worker stopped at my desk on her way to work and asked me if I knew where she could get a part time job.

"Why?" I innocently asked.

She explained that the company was cutting back on overtime and that she needed to pay bills.

I gave her the name of my company and mentioned that our pay wasn't near what she was making, but it might help. Happy with this information, she went upstairs.

I thought about this.

My life is by no means glamorous. It has taken over thirty years to pay off and cancel my credit cards. It was a conscious choice to give up my car for public transportation and cycling. I have been laughed at for not having a microwave or a tv. People have said it was stupid.

I call it voluntary simplicity.

It is not easy to live in this society. We are constantly being told to buy...buy...buy; that everything has to be new. The old things we own are not good enough. This culture is making us all greedy until we can't pay for yesterdays items that we are being told are useless. And no matter how much money we make, we need more.

We need to readjust our priorities.

Maybe I should have told the woman that she needed to divide her wants from her needs, but that probably would have been rude

Or maybe I should have mentioned that sometimes less is more. But it is too late to tell her.

Or is it?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARITIMER3 10/22/2012 7:01PM

    I think that my generation made a big mistake by telling our children that they can be anything, do anything, have anything they want if they just work hard enough. We've put too much emphasis on material goods and not enough on spiritual values.

I'm working very to change this in my own life, but I realize the hardest thing for me to give up would be travel. I've always had an enormous curiosity about how people live in other countries, and I would honestly live in one room if it meant that I could continue to travel.

Being retired, and on a small pension, with costs going up all the time, I may just end up in that one small room anyway!

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SILLYHP1953 5/25/2012 10:19AM

    I'm trying really hard (well, maybe not REALLY hard) to simplify my life. I actually decluttered my attic last year and got rid of things I'd been hanging onto for years...and years. I still have a long way to go because I like my stuff, but I am trying to not buy MORE stuff.

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DGAIL51 5/3/2012 10:13PM

    A very timely blog!

I prefer a fairly simple lifestyle, but I do like some technology (like this computer, my sewing machine, my cell phone, etc) As I think about it, it really is not so simple in many ways. My DH is in a high tech business & must keep up with technology in his area, at least. I think we make it as simple as we can in our situation. We live in the country, grow a garden, do our own yard & home maintenance, landscaping and painting projects, etc.

We are all looking for peace I believe, whether we know it or not. At least, I am, so my simplicity, first of all has to come from within. THAT is my biggest challenge!

Thank you for sharing your blog. It was thought provoking for me for certain.

Comment edited on: 5/3/2012 10:21:12 PM

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MRS.DOYLE 5/2/2012 2:04PM

    I agree....simple is best. I was made redundant last year and am living on a small income. I still have money left over each month because I buy on the basis of real need rather than what grabs my attention in the shops. I am also happier now than when I was earning quite a decent salary because I have time to do things that I enjoy.

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--KREN 5/2/2012 6:20AM

    Lifestyle is such a personal choice. I commend you on yours. It's called living within your means and we should all do it. Sometimes I get aggravated at people knocking on my door selling something, or asking to trim my trees or mow my yard. I also wonder about people who buy prepared food all the time and never cook anything at home. Some people don't even make a cup of coffee at home. How much money are they wasting?

But then I think, at least they are out there TRYING to work, because if you want money, WORKING for it is the right way to get it, yes? I worked interviewing inmates for 7 yrs. If I was ever biased against anyone it was those people I found who did not have a job, had never had a job and had no plans to have a job. I guess I admire people who work for a living, lol.

So, I think you did right in giving the information asked for. The woman is willing work more since she wants or needs more. If only every person was like that.

On the other hand, I could do without all the niceties of life, except PLUMBING! lol I like hot showers and toilets that flush!! I would defintely work for those, lol.

Comment edited on: 5/2/2012 6:26:03 AM

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How old would I be then?

Monday, October 17, 2011

"When are you going to start acting your age?"

That was a question my sister asked me a few months ago when I told her that I had just gotten my 10 speed touring bicycle tuned up so I could start riding again.

"You have a birthday coming up in a few months." she reminded me.

"I know." I said.

"And how old will you be?"

"I don't know," I replied, "I've forgotten."


"Well, I suppose I could figure it out....anyway, it's just a number...."

"Well, let me remind you......you will be 63...."

"Thanks," I told her, " I'll make a note of that."

"And you're going out riding your bicycle?"

"Every chance I get...."

That's when she asked that dreaded question.......when are you going to start acting your age?

That really upset me. And when I get upset, I like to ride my bike. In fact it upset me so much that I bought a recumbent exercise bike for the house, (so I can ride at night and on rainy days, and in the Arizona summers)

Last week I bought a one-speed cruiser bicycle for "fun" (I love bicycles).

But what I really, really want is a pair of rollerskates.

Should I?

Would that be having too much fun?

I mean, if I did buy the skates, can anybody tell me how old would I be then?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

--KREN 8/2/2013 7:30AM

    "Act" your age? No acting needed. Just BE yourself! lol


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SUNNYARIZONA 11/2/2011 9:24PM

    Personally....what is age? I do NOT know what it means to "act my age". My grandma was OLD at my age....me....I am YOUNG!!! I will continue to enjoy myself long as I can. I take care of people 10 yrs. younger and more, who could NEVER do what I do!!!

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DGAIL51 10/23/2011 12:01AM

    Way to go girlfriend! I love your spunk & positive attitude. I think I will dust off my bike and get out myself. I am not far behind you-- turned 60 in May. Too bad I am too far away or we could ride together, (since I am in Tennessee). I don't think my balance will allow roller skates though! LOL.

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GAILRUU 10/17/2011 4:37PM

    If you are comfortable on your bike I say go for it. I have to admit that I only got my bike out once this summer and went for a short ride.

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SILLYHP1953 10/17/2011 1:42PM

    Yes, with the bicycles and the roller skates you would be about...10. Sounds like a good age to me. I used to go to the roller rink every once in a while when I was young but because I never fell down I was always scared to fall down, so I never relaxed and got into skating. Your sister is just jealous! I'm impressed.

For my brother's 50th birthday I got him a little plaque that said "If you haven't grown up by the time you're 50...you don't have to". I think that applies to 63, too.

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The Red Mouse: Lessons On Death, Life, And Grieving

Monday, February 14, 2011

Death is not something we want to talk about, but it happens. I wouldn't have brought up the subject except that with my Mother Emma passing away on February 5, death seems to be on my mind.

And maybe not for a bad reason. It gives me the chance to sort through feelings, emotions, and photographs.

I came across a photo a few days ago of Mom and her beloved dog Jiggs. She acquired Jiggs when I was still in high school. Jiggs was no small animal; he was a very large German Shepherd that someone had left on the side of the road. He and my Mother became fast friends, and he was the love of her life. When she went anywhere in the car, Jiggs had to come along...and sat in the front seat. If there were others along for the ride, they sat in the back!

When Jiggs died, my Mother called me from work to have me come home. I had never seen such sadness in my Mother, and such grief that I don't remember her having when 'her' Mother died. For years afterward, Mom would call or write on the anniversary of Jiggs' death, "It's been five years since........ten years....twenty....." She never forgot the day. Other things she forgot over the years, but not this.

I grew up with pets: dogs when I lived at home, and later....all kinds of animals. Grieving for a lost pet was never easy. And I learned (from them) to give them permission to die. If we are having a hard time accepting death, what can our pets be feeling? And the society in which we live doesn't exactly accept grieving as a reason to stay home from work. "Bury your loved ones on Sunday; back to work on Monday." Back to work as if we hadn't done anything more then a quick trip to the mall.

But we need time to grieve. Maybe a week; maybe a year; maybe longer. My Dad passed away in 1993, and I can't tell you how many years I still bought Father's Day cards, and birthday cards, and then remembered..... I knew a lady whose 25 year old horse died, and she was out of work for a month. Or my friend who spent two weeks in the hospital after the death of her dog. There are hundreds of stories, and you probably know many of them yourselves. Because grief is real, it needs to be recognized, and it shows up in different forms.

I never have gotten over the death of my beagle Hoover. And while I don't call my Daughter every year on the anniversary (as my Mother did with Jiggs), I will never forget the day: July 15 at 12:01 pm. At that moment time stood still for me.
For months I could not comprehend the idea that the date changed every day, or the reason the minutes were ticking by on the clock; it was a complete mystery to me. And, in fact, I received more sympathy cards when Hoover died (even one from my Mother) then I did when my Grandson Andrew died.

I'm not saying that animals are more important then people. You just don't know at what level you will touch another person.

We all grieve, and it is real, and necessary. It doesn't matter if it is for Uncle Bill or Aunt Mary, or our pet Jackson, or Sara Lynn, or Bitie...it's all real. We need to be there for one another, and keep the lines of communication open because I don't believe death is the end; it is just another step.

Freddy was a big yellow tom cat that I had since he was a kitten; a present from my Daughter. I had Freddy a long time, and at the end of his life, he was my only pet. And since I lived alone, he was everything to me. Not unlike Mom and Jiggs.

Freddy had a red catnip mouse that he loved to play with. The poor mouse, I almost felt sorry for it--frayed tail, ears nibbled off, one eye hanging--but Freddy loved this mouse, and carried it around proudly, like a trophy. He even slept with the mouse like a child would with a teddy bear, something I have never seen in the animal world.

After Freddy died, and I returned to an empty apartment, the loneliness and grief was unbearable. I found Freddy's mouse on the living room floor near my recliner. I didn't have the heart to move it. It was like a shrine to Freddy's memory, and to touch it or move it would be a sacrilege.

A few days later, I came home from work to something really astounding: there was an indentation in the bedspread on my bed. The indentation was about the size of a small animal that may have been resting there, and beside the indentation was the red mouse.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GOODBYE-FRIENDS 8/16/2012 3:01PM

  Freddy's red mouse...such an amazing image...I see it so clearly in my mind's eye!

My mom had been sick since I was fifteen...breast cancer, then she was diagnosed with leukemia when I was 25...then she had a heart attack that destroyed part of her heart...then diabetes, and liver failure, then kidney failure and finally breast cancer again in 2008. In 2010, She ultimately died from all the treatments that had kept her alive...my point is my family had 25 extra years with her, and I would have told you every single one of those days that I was prepared for her passing.

Then she died and the grief was indescribable. My employers were taken aback at how emotional I was. I lost a promotion, and my reputation for being a leader was destroyed. Your blog nailed that whole experience on the head.

On the whole, I am ok with the process. ACIM helps with the whole idea that this is the past and we are already together again.

Love and hugs to you!!!

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JUSTJO66 4/25/2011 10:40AM

    Denise, I am so sorry to hear of your Mom passing in Feb. My dad has been gone now for 9 years (April 5th) and my son 7.... time does not heal these wounds. I also have beloved pets. You are so correct . Grieving is grieving.

Thank you for your thoughtful and heart touching blog.

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PUDLECRAZY 4/5/2011 7:05PM

    Lovely blog, Denise, and so touching. The loss of a parent is so very hard and there are a lot of layers to grieving. It is a process that takes a long time and is a hard, but necessary process to go through. I cannot tell you how often I still want to pick up the phone and call my parents, or send them a picture, or share a smile.

Sending you love,


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BUFFALOGAL1952 2/21/2011 10:03PM

    Oh Denise...so beautifully stated. I was raised to accept the inevitability of death, and when it happens, to mourn the passing but also to rejoice in the knowing. Those dear ones who have left us that have so enriched our lives with knowledge, support, encouragment, laughter, friendship and love. Sending you ((HUGS))

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NIMAWEYGH 2/21/2011 12:20AM


Oh how I have emoticon and emoticon reading this. My beloved fur baby daughter Gracie bun bun crossed over the Rainbow Bridge on Thursday and there are times I can think of her and smile because she was so full of life and love and then there are times when the grief just grips my heart and I can hardly breath.

I have posted her final story as she was a writer on SP and her blogs were called Dear Gracie............I would feel honored if you had a minute to read it.
I sent my Mom flowers where her 19 year old kitty Sailor crossed over and yesterday mine arrived as well.

How right you are, grief is grief and I still find my heart in the thrones of it. I am so sorry for the loss of your Mom and your fur babies.

Who ever said time heals all wounds is wrong...........we just learn how to get up and move through another day, but I will always miss my Gracie girl.

From one emoticon I do so understand. But your blog eases me and I am so thankful to you for it.


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1MIN17SECB412PM 2/20/2011 10:32AM

    emoticon Oh, Denise... today, this lovely blog just reaches right deep down inside... and with a glowing~healing touch, reminds me of all of our losses- of your mother- of Bonnie's father- of Nims' Gracie bunny... of sooo many... and of mine too. emoticon We all grieve in ways that can not (and should not) be measured or compared to some standard chart, and even from one person to one creature who has imprinted their lives on our hearts. I know Freddy came back home. His spirit and your spirit are eternally connected. Thank you sooo MUCH for reaching out to all of us and giving peace & comfort, my friend. ::hugs::

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IRISH_AGUIRRE 2/15/2011 2:42PM


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AXREAH 2/15/2011 12:01PM


What a BEAUTIFUL tribute to those who enter our lives, sometimes just briefly or for a BLESSED long time.

Your blog touched my heart in so...many ways, I can't find the words to say "Thank You"----there just aren't any words SPECIAL enough.

So a virtual ((((HUG)))) and SPECIAL thoughts and PRAYERS are being sent to you, along with a "VERY HEARTFELT, THANK YOU"


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CALIDREAMER76 2/14/2011 2:18PM

Thank you for me and for Bitie!
For years as he laid in bed with me I would thank God for my furry Angel. And I am sure he was an angel in fur and I appreciated that God put him in my life. My heart aches and I AM grieving him and feel empty - especially today being for years I'd hold him and wish him a Happy Valentines day and tell him he was My Valentine. Our love was - is mutual. He showed me in so many ways. I also know - I don't know how, but I know that I'm going to be transitioning to something else in my life, I just wish I could share it with my sweetheart.
I will pay close attention to see if he comes to visit me - but if he doesn't it's ok, I told him he would be able to run and play and investigate in Heaven. I did tell him that when Jesus calls and says Bitie, Mommy is coming I hope he'll be right there to greet me when I get to Heaven. I also reminded him when he goes to kiss God, Jesus, Mary, Nanny - (my mom who passed nearly 2 years ago) to use lips not teeth, which he learned to do.
Thanks Denise - good tears.

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SIRIRADHA 2/14/2011 11:49AM

    This blog is timely for me. Right now, my DH is heading out the door to take his dad for chemo. My FIL, who's on his second bout of lung cancer, has been on chemo for a long time. And it's wearing him out.

Last week, my MIL dropped in to talk about "things." Turns out she is convinced that her husband is probably heading for the end of the trail. They're both in their eighties, know they should deal with the practical matters this implies, but they just can't seem to talk squarely to each other about the emotional impact it's having on them. So, when she needs to vent--and it's always her, because he just clams up--she gives him an excuse and comes down for a visit.

I wish, wish, wish that we were conditioned from an early age to see death as it really is and talk openly about it. Your blog today is so refreshing compared to the constricted emotions so many of us have about death. Thank you.

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SILLYHP1953 2/14/2011 11:23AM

    I began reading this at work and had to stop halfway through because I started crying. So took a 10 minute break and started in the middle thinking I'd be ok to finish it...no. I'm not even sure I can finish my comments at work, might have to wait until I'm home where I can cry all I want.

Death does happen and I'm a lot more comfortable with it than in my early years. Might I say, I've even accepted it. I was alone with my grandmother when she took her last breath and could feel the room fill with angels, more than were already there.

You write beautifully.
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SUGARPUNK52 2/14/2011 11:19AM

  Yes,grieving is necessary.When my husband died,my mother told me that GOD doesn't put a burden on you that you can't carry(even if you think you can't-you can).And also that GOD doesn't take away without replacing it with something else.I'm living proof that both of these sayings are true.GOD is good.

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Emma got her wish.

Sunday, February 06, 2011

Sunday, February 6.....received a call at 6am from my sister: Mom passed away last evening.
We knew it was coming, but how do you feel when your parent dies?
My first response to my sister was: Well, Emma finally got her wish.
And maybe I was a little relieved that some of the pressure is off my sister since she has been taking care of Mom all these years.
And a little angry at Mom for being selfish because she has wanted to die for a long time. and never even considered the void it would leave in so many lives.
And all the things left unsaid.
I suppose I could go on and on....
But the most important thing is that I told her that I loved her the last time we spoke, and she is at peace now.
Yet, sadly, there's a little grin that passes my lips when I think that Emma got her wish.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AXREAH 2/14/2011 3:19PM

    I'm soo....sorry Denise. My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours.

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SUNNY2010 2/9/2011 4:10PM

    I am so sorry about your loss! No matter what circumstances are, it's a very painful event in our life.
Hugs to you!

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BRIDIE5 2/9/2011 10:32AM

  Very hard to lose a parent, even when it's time, and we feel we are prepared. A lot of different emotions from anger to grief, to comic relief for sure. I was the one in your sister's place with my Mom..guilt too, cuz with the grief came feelings of relief. Takes awhile to process. Great that you had time to tell her you loved her..that's a comfort. Hugs..

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WESTIEGAL1 2/7/2011 1:32PM

    I'm so sorry for your loss, but happy that all are now free. Grieving takes time and is a process of which you've started here. Please let us know if we can help in any way. emoticon

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WIZINTN 2/7/2011 8:53AM

    Holding you in love and light, Denise.

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CALIDREAMER76 2/6/2011 11:05PM

    I'm so sorry Denise - There is nothing that can be said to bring you peace, but I think you will find it with the help of God. I'm coming on the 2 year anniversary of my mom going home to heaven and still have difficult times, but also interesting moments too - like last month I just know she was with me to "warn" me about my daughter's news - she new her BF was going to pop the question even before he did, and her spirit was with me about 10 hours before. As ACIMPEGGY said be open to signs - when you least expect them and maybe in the middle of the night as you sleep.

Hugs~ take care

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SILLYHP1953 2/6/2011 8:57PM

    How do you feel when you know the person was ready to go, but maybe you weren't ready. I don't think we can ever be ready. Your words read almost like a poem or lyrics to a song. All the emotion you were feeling.

My grandmother's birthday was today, would have been 104 but died at 97. She lived with us the last three years of her life, and she was ready to go, too.

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1MIN17SECB412PM 2/6/2011 5:15PM

    I don't care how old we get, losing a mom or dad, is a huge loss. Maybe your mom didn't mean to be selfish, but felt she was a burden. Rest now, Denise, and only allow all your fondest memories *in* so that you will renew your energy. Sweet peace to you, my friend. ::hugs:: yer' Annie

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ACIMPEGGY 2/6/2011 4:29PM

    Oh, Denise! I empathize with your loss...I lost my beloved mama 15 years ago. I have felt her around...I have even communicated with her. Be open, honey, to 'signs;' it may happen for you.

You and Emma are free, so is mama. She is with us still in Spirit. I know you realize that.

Have as good a week as you can, dear. emoticon

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