Friday, March 11, 2011
Some people exude negativity. They donít like their jobs or they donít like their company. Their bosses are always jerks and they are always treated unfairly. The company is always going down the tube and customers are worthless. You know these negative Neds and Nellies Ė every organization has some Ė and you can best address their impact on you via avoidance.
On the other hand, sometimes normally positive people are negative. Some of the time, too, their reasons for negativity are legitimate. You will take a completely different tack with these occasionally negative people. Weíll deal with both of these varieties of negativity from people.
Tips for Dealing With Occasional Negativity
Listen to the employee or coworkerís complaints until you are certain that they feel heard out and listened to. Sometimes people repeat negative sentiments over and over because they donít feel like you have really listened to them. Ask questions. Clarify their statements. Make sure you have actively listened.
Decide if you believe the employee or coworker has legitimate reasons for their negativity. If you decide affirmatively, ask if theyíd like your help to solve the problem. If they ask for help, provide advice or ideas for how the coworker can address the reason for their negativity.
Short term advice that points a person in a positive direction is welcome. But, your role is not to provide therapy or counseling. Nor, is your role to provide comprehensive career advice or long term recommendations. Point the coworker to helpful books, seminars, or the Human Resources Department to solve their problem. Know your limits when advising coworkers.
Sometimes, the coworker just wants to complain to a friendly, listening ear; they donít want your advice or assistance to address the situation. Listen, but set limits so the coworker does not overstay or over-talk his or her welcome. Long term complaining saps your energy and positive outlook. Donít allow that to happen. Walk away. Tell the coworker youíd prefer to move on to more positive subjects.
If you listen to the coworkerís negativity, and decide the concerns are not legitimate, practice personal courage and tell them what you think. Tell the coworker you care about their concern and about their happiness at work, but you disagree with their assessment of the situation.
Back gracefully out of additional conversations. The coworker will attempt to appeal to your sympathetic nature, but if you believe the negativity is unwarranted, donít spend your time listening or helping the coworker to address the negative feelings. You will only encourage long term and growing negative feelings and, potentially, behavior. You will set yourself up as a negativity magnet. Constant negative interactions will eventually permeate your interaction with your workplace.
Tips for Dealing With Negative Coworkers
Deal with genuinely negative people by spending as little time with them as possible. Just as you set limits with the coworkers whose negativity you believe is baseless or unwarranted, you need to set limits with genuinely negative people.
Causes of their long term negativity are not your concern. Every negative person has a story. Donít impact your positive outlook by listening to the stories, or reviewing the history and the background about the grievances purported to cause the negativity. You reinforce the negativity; negativity is a choice. Negativity mongers need a new job, a new company, a new career, a new outlook, or counseling. They donít need you.
Deal with negative coworkers in these ways.
Avoid spending time with a negative coworker.
If you are forced, through your role in the company, to work with a negative person, set limits. Do not allow yourself to be drawn into negative discussions. Tell the negative coworker, you prefer to think about your job positively. Avoid providing a sympathetic audience for the negativity.
Suggest the negative person seek assistance from human resources or their supervisor.
If all else fails, talk to your own supervisor or human resources staff about the challenges you are experiencing in dealing with the negative person. Your supervisor may have ideas, may be willing to address the negativity, and may address the issue with the negative personís supervisor. Persistent negativity, that impacts coworkersí work is a work behavior that may require disciplinary action.
If negativity among employees in your company is persistent, if the issues that warrant negativity are left unaddressed, and the negativity affects your ability to professionally perform your work, you may want to consider moving on. Your current culture will not support your desired work environment. And, if no one is working to improve a work culture that enables negativity, donít expect the culture to change any time soon.
Article By Susan M. Heathfield, About.com Guide
Thursday, March 10, 2011
... that when you feel down, look at yourself through God's eyes. There are times when no matter how hard you try, you just cannot accept yourself as you are. During such times, think of how you look to God's eyes. In God's eyes, there is no judgment, there is only acceptance. God sees your light when all that you can see are your shadows. God loves you more than anyone could ever love you as you really are.
Tuesday, March 08, 2011
Think you need to try something new for jazzing up your work out? How about these top songs....
TNT - AC/DC
Donít Stop Believin - Journey
Eye of the Tiger - Survivor
Got to Have Faith - Europe
I Feel Bleed it Out - Linkin Park
Iron Man - Black Sabbath
Bad - Michael Jackson
Faint - Linkin Park
Donít Phunk With My Heart - Black Eyed Peas
California Love - Tupac and Dr. Dre
Gasolina - Daddy Yankee
Dancing Queen - ABBA
Beautiful Day - U2
Stronger - Kanye West
I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor
Right Now - Korn
Welcome to the Jungle - Guns 'N Roses
It's My Life - Bon Jovi
My Humps - Black Eyed Peas
Rockstar - Nickelback
What I've Done - Linkin Park
Boom Boom Pow - Black Eyed Peas
Bebot - Black Eyed Peas
Tornado of Souls - Megadeth
Smack That - Akon ft. Eminem
Alive - Pearl Jam
Someday - Flipsyde
Fear of the Dark - Iron Maiden
Yeah - Usher ft. Lil Wayne and Ludacris
Pump It - Black Eyed Peas
In Da Club - 50 Cent
Monday, March 07, 2011
"Self-discipline is when you tell yourself to do something and you don't talk back." - W. K. Hope
I admire people who have organized lives; their homes and workplaces are neat and organized and they actually can find their checkbooks, car keys and eyeglasses. What does it take for a person to possess those characteristics? The answer is self-discipline. Having self-discipline means that we are able to control our feelings and desires. It means that we make a decision, take action, and preserve.
So if the rewards of self-discipline are so great, why is it so difficult for many of us to be self-disciplined? It may have to do with our inability to delay gratification. It may also be because we only make changes to gain pleasure or avoid pain.
I find that I can be very self-disciplined in some areas and not so in others. For those of you who have been long time readers of the Motivating Moments, you may recall the difficulties that I had when I began graduate school. I struggled with math and statistical concepts that were totally foreign to me. I tackled the classes and preparation for the exams with the tenacity of a bulldog. I absolutely refused to fail and walk away from the humbling challenges that the classes posed.
It was during those times that I discovered within me the capacity for perseverance and self-discipline. Fortunately, I succeeded and received my MBA months. There are rewards for delaying gratification in other areas.
What are the areas in your life that are begging for a great plan followed by self-disciplined execution? Get a friend to help you achieve your goals. Ask him or her to require that you report regularly about your progress. Perhaps by being accountable to someone for our actions or inactions, you may find the courage to persevere"
"If we don't discipline ourselves, the world will do it for us." - William Feather
Affirmation for the Week:
"I will decide, plan, focus, and achieve; and I will not give in or give up!"
Have a determined and powerful week!
Friday, March 04, 2011
A man was sleeping one night in his cabin when suddenly his room filled with light, and God appeared. The Lord told the man he had work for him to do, and showed him a large rock in front of his cabin. The Lord explained that the man was to push against the rock with all his might....
So, this the man did, day after day. For many years he toiled from sunup to sundown, his shoulders set squarely against the cold, massive surface of the unmoving rock, pushing with all his might!
Each night the man returned to his cabin sore and worn out, feeling that his whole day had been spent in vain. Since the man was showing discouragement, the Adversary (Satan) decided to enter the picture by placing thoughts into the man's weary mind. (He will do it every time!)
You have been pushing against that rock for a long time and it hasn't moved." Thus, he gave the man the impression that the task was impossible and that he was a failure. These thoughts discouraged and disheartened the man.
Satan said, "Why kill yourself over this? Just put in your time, giving just the minimum effort, and that will be good enough."
That's what the weary man planned to do, but decided to make it a matter of prayer and to take his troubled thoughts to the Lord.
"Lord," he said, "I have labored long and hard in Your Service, putting all my strength to do that which you have asked. Yet, after all this time, I have not even budged that rock by half a millimeter. What is wrong? Why am I failing?"
The Lord responded compassionately, "My friend, when I asked you to serve Me and you accepted, I told you that your task was to push against the rock with all of your strength, which you have done.
Never once did I mention to you that I expected you to move it. Your task was to push. And now you come to Me with your strength spent, thinking that you have failed.
But, is that really so? Look at yourself. Your arms are strong and muscled, your back shiny and brown; your hands are callused from constant pressure, your legs have become massive and hard.
Through opposition you have grown much, and your abilities now surpass that which you used to have. True, you haven't moved the rock. But your calling was to be obedient and to push and to exercise your faith and trust in My wisdom. That you have done. Now I, my friend, will move the rock.."
At times, when we hear a word from God, we tend to use our own intellect to decipher what He wants, when actually what God wants is just simple obedience and faith in Him.
By all means, exercise the faith that moves mountains, but know that it is still God Who moves the mountains.
When everything seems to go wrong..............................Just P.U.S.H.
When the job gets you down.............................Just P.U.S.H..
When people don't do as you think they should..................Just P.U.S.H.
When your money is "gone" and the bills are due................Just P.U.S.H.
When people just don't understand you............................Just P.U.S.H.
P = Pray
U = Until
S = Something
H = Happens
Pass this on to all your loved ones and friends who may need it, they may get it just in time. "
Though no one can go back and make a **brand new start**, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending."
Friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.
May God Bless You. Donna
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