DFROMTX   100,313
SparkPoints
100,000-149,999 SparkPoints
 
 
DFROMTX's Recent Blog Entries

MASCULINE OR FEMININE?

Wednesday, January 08, 2014


A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

"House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa."

"Pencil," however, is masculine: "el lapiz."

A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?"

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun.

Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computadora") because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

(THIS GETS BETTER!)

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine ("el computador") because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on.

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves.

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time, they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.
emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ELIZACG9 1/30/2014 12:13PM

    have to share this.........great!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
1CRAZYDOG 1/8/2014 8:37PM

    Of COURSE the women won. BWAHAHAHA!

Report Inappropriate Comment
FLUFFYWONKENOBE 1/8/2014 6:10PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
AJB121299 1/8/2014 7:52AM

    funny

Report Inappropriate Comment


Thank You, Spark Members

Friday, November 29, 2013

Thank each & everyone of you who took the tme to write on my Spark Page or send me a Goodie today on my 71st birthday! It means a lot to me.

I have not been active for a while on SP due to various family issues. Hope to get back "up to speed" soon.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PURPLE_ROSE_BUD 12/2/2013 1:50PM

    Belated birthday greetings! I'm not on as much as I used to be either and I often miss important stuff like your birthday.

Report Inappropriate Comment
PINK-SOLDIER 11/30/2013 11:15AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ARNETTELEE 11/29/2013 6:06PM

  Happy birthday!!

Report Inappropriate Comment


The Man In The Hot Air Balloon

Saturday, October 19, 2013


A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted,Ē Excuse me, can you help? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The woman below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.

"I am," replied the woman. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of you, and the fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help so far."

The woman below responded, "You must be a politician?"

"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault!"
_______________________

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PAMNANGEL 1/22/2014 2:04AM

    Yep!

Report Inappropriate Comment
JESSIG5 10/21/2013 11:33AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHOAPIE 10/19/2013 9:16PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
1CRAZYDOG 10/19/2013 8:40PM

    Funny! Or IS it??!! It's so true!

Report Inappropriate Comment
NPA4LOSS 10/19/2013 6:16PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
FOREVER27 10/19/2013 5:58PM

    Indeed!

Report Inappropriate Comment
DRUIDPRINCESS 10/19/2013 5:36PM

    Thank you for starting my day with a smile! Have an awesome week ahead.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
STUDLEEJOE 10/19/2013 5:20PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER!

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Dear Wife,

Iím writing you this letter to tell you that Iím leaving you forever. Iíve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. ... Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didnít even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You donít tell me you love me anymore; you donít want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either youíre cheating on me or you donít love me anymore; whatever the case, Iím gone.
Your EX-Husband

P.S. donít try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Dear Ex-Husband,

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. Itís true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what youíve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesnít work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ĎYou look just like a girl!í Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you canít say something nice, I didnít comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you wonít get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I donít know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope thatís not a problem.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SYLVIALYNN2 10/19/2013 2:57PM

    Now, if I could just win the lottery. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LOULOUBELLE2 10/18/2013 7:54PM

    emoticon letters

Report Inappropriate Comment
MESEATURTLE 10/16/2013 11:01PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NPA4LOSS 10/16/2013 10:56PM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PAMNANGEL 10/16/2013 12:49AM

    Hahahaha!

Report Inappropriate Comment
FLEMIDG 10/16/2013 12:28AM

    Wonderful payback. Thanks for sharing.

Report Inappropriate Comment
1CRAZYDOG 10/15/2013 9:16PM

    h oh. Not the ending I expected!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SILVER1369 10/15/2013 7:53PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CONNIER64 10/15/2013 7:40PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon He only got what he deserved!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MCJULIEO 10/15/2013 5:50PM

    Ha ha!

Report Inappropriate Comment
GRAMMYEAC 10/15/2013 5:14PM

    Too cute!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ALICIA214 10/15/2013 4:57PM

 


WOW!!

That is hilarious... emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
AJB121299 10/15/2013 4:43PM

    nice

Report Inappropriate Comment
GODSBABYGAL 10/15/2013 4:40PM

    LOL

Report Inappropriate Comment


Almonds & Old People (joke)

Monday, October 07, 2013

A tour bus driver drives with a bus full of seniors down a highway, when a little old lady taps him on his shoulder.

She offers him a handful of almonds, which he gratefully munches up.

After approx.15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of almonds. She repeats this gesture about eight times.

At the ninth time he asks the little old lady why they don't eat the almonds themselves, she replies that it is not possible because of their old teeth; they are not able to chew them.

"Why do you buy them then?" he asks puzzled.

The old lady Answers, "We just love the chocolate around them."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PAMNANGEL 10/16/2013 12:51AM

    Ooooooohh! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MAYBER 10/8/2013 1:31AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
FLEMIDG 10/8/2013 12:12AM

    Love it. Thanks for sharing.

Report Inappropriate Comment
NPA4LOSS 10/7/2013 10:30PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
1CRAZYDOG 10/7/2013 9:30PM

    ACK!!!!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KATTREE 10/7/2013 9:03PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 Last Page