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LEARNING TO CUSS

Wednesday, March 06, 2013


A 6 year old and a 4 year old are raking the yard.


The 6 year old asks, "You know what? I think it's about time we started learning to cuss."The 4 year old nods his head in approval.


The 6 year old continues,"When we go in for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass."

The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.


When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios.


WHACK!


He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up,and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit,slapping his rear with every step.


His mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay there until I let you out!"

She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"


"I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your fat ass it won't be Cheerios!"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPUD3193 3/8/2013 9:55AM

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DRUIDPRINCESS 3/7/2013 6:04PM

    Thank you! I LOVE it! Thank you for starting my day out with a smile!
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1CRAZYDOG 3/6/2013 8:25PM

    This is just too cute!!!

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SONYALATRECE 3/6/2013 7:07PM

    emoticon Ha! ha! Ha! Ha!
Good one!

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FRAN0426 3/6/2013 6:43PM

    Cute emoticon

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TKLBRIDGET 3/6/2013 6:17PM

    emoticon
love it! thanks for the laugh.

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TATERS, TATERS, & MORE TATERS

Tuesday, March 05, 2013

I hope that I can get out of bed in the morning after spending 65 minutes gardening! emoticon

DD & SIL came down Sunday after church, brought the tiller, tilled the garden, mowed the lawn, & trimmed some shrubs for us. Things that needed doing, but I just have not had time to do (or my arthritis was so bad I was afraid to tackle these jobs). God bless them!

This morning I went down to the garden & smoothed the dirt & put the strings out for the rows. We have a raised garden bounded by board & have nails so many inches apart. I tie a piece of string on a nail on one side & run it over to the nail on the other side so when I make my rows up they don't look like they were done by a "drunken sailor". After making the rows with the hoe I put cotton seed meal &/or fertilizer in the ditch, covered it up, then dropped the potato pieces (spaced just right apart from one another) & covered the potatoes with dirt. I leave the strings until the potatoes start coming up so I can tell where the rows are.

Hope for a good crop. You can't beat fresh dug potatoes on the dinner plate.

Happy Sparking. This is my exercise for the day. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHARJOPAUL 3/6/2013 9:09AM

    Dang I still have snow covering my raised beds. I'm jealous!!!!!!

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1CRAZYDOG 3/5/2013 11:24PM

    Jealous! Nothing to till here yet . . . it's all snow covered!!! UGH

HUGS and enjoy.

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PURPLE_ROSE_BUD 3/5/2013 7:50PM

    I love new potatoes fresh from the garden ... haven't had any since my parents died ... my dad always planted a large garden that he shared.

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GARDENSFORLIFE 3/5/2013 7:31PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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THE LOYAL WIFE

Wednesday, February 27, 2013


There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real scrooge when it came to his money.
Just before he died, he said to his wife, "When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me." And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him.

Well, he died.

He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a minute." She had a box with her, she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away.

Her friend said, "I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband." The loyal wife replied "Listen, I'm a Christian, I can't go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him."

"You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him?"

"I sure did" said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account and wrote him a check. If he can cash it, he can spend i

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NPA4LOSS 3/3/2013 2:22PM

    emoticon emoticon

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LADYBUG1943 2/28/2013 12:03PM

    Thanks for the laugh this morning.

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GARDENSFORLIFE 2/27/2013 11:30PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 2/27/2013 6:05PM

    Do NOT mess with a woman! LOL

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STITCH4EVER 2/27/2013 2:56PM

    I LOVE IT! I WAS THINKING SHE WAS GOING TO DO MONOPOLY MONEY. THIS WAS MUCH BETTER. VERY CLEVER!

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SHOAPIE 2/27/2013 12:16PM

    emoticon

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1935MARY 2/27/2013 10:39AM

    That is funny. It is always good to start my day with a smile,then I can end my day with one. Thanks for sharing this. emoticon

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FIT4MEIN2013 2/27/2013 10:35AM

    Don't mess with a wise woman! emoticon

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GCHUNG 2/27/2013 10:33AM

    Lol - I love it.

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Billy Graham (joke)

Thursday, January 31, 2013



Billy Graham was returning to Charlotte after a speaking engagement and when his plane arrived there was a limousine there to transport him to his home. As he prepared to get into the limo, he stopped and spoke to the driver.

'You know' he said, 'I am 87 years old and I have never
Driven a limousine. Would you mind if I drove it for a while?'

The driver said, 'No problem. Have at it.'

Billy gets into the driver's seat and they head off down the highway. A short distance away sat a rookie State Trooper operating his first speed trap.

The long black limo went by him doing 70 in a 55 mph zone.

The trooper pulled out and easily caught the limo then got out of his patrol car to begin the procedure. The young trooper walked up to the driver's door and when the glass was rolled down, he was surprised to see who was driving.

He immediately excused himself and went back to his car and called his supervisor. 'I know we are supposed to enforce the law.... but I also know that important people are given certain courtesies. I need to know what I should do because I have stopped a very important person.'

The supervisor asked, 'Is it the governor?'

The young trooper said, 'No, he's more important than that.'

The supervisor said, 'Oh, so it's the president.'

The young trooper said, 'No, he's even more Important than that.'

After a moment,the supervisor finally asked, 'Well then, who is it?'

The young trooper said, 'I think it's Jesus, because he's got Billy Graham for a chauffeur!'

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WATREKKIE 2/2/2013 11:55PM

    too funny!!!! emoticon

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NILLAPEPSI 2/2/2013 1:09PM

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TXMEMAW6 2/2/2013 12:38PM

    Cute!!!!

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NPA4LOSS 2/2/2013 11:57AM

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TXTOAD9970 1/31/2013 3:51PM

    emoticon very cute

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1CRAZYDOG 1/31/2013 2:48PM

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GEEKYGRANDMOMMY 1/31/2013 2:29PM

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PAMNANGEL 1/31/2013 11:49AM

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DADDYS_GIRL6 1/31/2013 11:26AM

    LOL - Love it! Thanks!!

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FITANDFIFTY2 1/31/2013 11:13AM

    Oh what a great one!! Loved it! emoticon

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ROSE-LITE 1/31/2013 11:09AM

  cute cute!

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IDLETYME 1/31/2013 11:05AM

    emoticon That's a good one!!! emoticon

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ALICIA214 1/31/2013 10:57AM

 


Good one!!! emoticon

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First Impressions

Friday, January 11, 2013

A young doctor was just setting up his first office when his secretary told him there was a man to see him. The doctor wanted to make a good first impression by having the man think he was successful and very busy. He told his secretary to show the man in.
At that moment, the doctor picked up the telephone and pretended to be having a conversation with a patient. The man waited until the “conversation” was over. Then, the doctor put the telephone down and asked, “Can I help you?”
To which the man replied, “No, I’m just here to connect your telephone.”

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PAMNANGEL 1/31/2013 11:52AM

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NPA4LOSS 1/14/2013 6:51PM

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GARDENSFORLIFE 1/11/2013 10:23PM

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MISSM66 1/11/2013 5:42PM

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DRUIDPRINCESS 1/11/2013 4:46PM

    Loved it! Thank you! I am feeling some guilty goosebumpy feelings that suggest I might have done similar things in my past...

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1CRAZYDOG 1/11/2013 11:34AM

    Busted! LOL

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CAT609 1/11/2013 7:25AM

    Too funny!

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RIDLEYRIDER 1/11/2013 7:02AM

  Showed hm, didn't he? emoticon

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