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A Little Southern Humor

Saturday, April 14, 2012



A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.

"Where's Henry?" the others asked.

"Henry had a stroke o' some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied.

"You left Henry layin' out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired.

"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one's gonna steal Henry!"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ASHAIXIM 5/10/2012 9:45PM

    HECK YA!! I'm not a hunter but I know several of 'em that'd leave their spouse there (we're equal opportunity around here) and go back and get 'em later! LOL!! After all, if they were that poorly they wouldn't make it back to camp anyhow!

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SNUZSUZ 4/16/2012 12:21PM

    LOL!

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KATHYJO56 4/14/2012 3:25PM

    This is funny and I can't wait to repeat it to my husband. Poor Henry!

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SUNNYWBL 4/14/2012 12:24PM

    It's true in Minnesota too!

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DGFOWLER 4/14/2012 10:33AM

    emoticon Too funny.. Donna

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1CRAZYDOG 4/14/2012 8:59AM

    sounds like it fits here too (WI -- HUGE numbers of hunters!)

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IDLETYME 4/14/2012 8:40AM

    That's cute (and true) - poor Henry! emoticon emoticon

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BLONDE EASTER (LOL)

Saturday, April 07, 2012

Three blondes died and are at the pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question.

St. Peter asks the first blonde, “What is Easter?”

The blonde replies, “Oh, that’s easy! It’s the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey, and are thankful…”

“Wrong!” replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second blonde the same question, “What is Easter?”

The second blonde replies, “Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus.”

St. Peter looks at the second blonde, shakes his head in disgust, tells her she’s wrong, and then peers over his glasses at the third blonde and asks, “What is Easter?”

The third blonde smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes, “I know what Easter is.”

“Oh?” says St. Peter, incredulously.

“Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper and Jesus was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his hands. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder.”

St. Peter smiles broadly with delight. The third blonde continues, “Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter.”

Happy Easter!


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ASHAIXIM 5/10/2012 9:54PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

Here's one for you... and it has the benefit of being true!!

My sister-in-law (ex) is absolutely brilliant if you need redneck work done... she even built a retaining wall in like 30 minutes with her bare hands, a huge hammer thing, and a saw, in exchange for my DBinL (who owned the house I bought off him) fixing my niece's (her daughter's) car. However, she's not terribly brilliant in some other areas. We were all sitting around Thanksgiving once at her house (she's a great cook! In fact her youngest is a chef.) So she pipes up in the middle of dinner, "what day's today?" She didn't realize that Thanksgiving is always on a THURSDAY!! My youngest grown niece (the now chef) said "Gee mom, I thought Aunt Char (my sister) was the dumb blonde of the family!" My sister (who's a podiatrist and yes is the dumb blonde of our family) turns around, looks my niece straight in the eye, and says "That's DOCTOR Dumb Blonde to YOU!"

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GRANDMA624 4/11/2012 7:50AM

  emoticon

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ELIZACG9 4/9/2012 5:22PM

    Ha Ha Ha emoticon

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BEGOODE 4/8/2012 6:38PM

    Good one! Lol

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MICHELE142 4/8/2012 1:26AM

   
Great one !

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SNUZSUZ 4/7/2012 10:24PM

    LOL!

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ONUTHIN125 4/7/2012 9:15PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon Hope you have a lovely Easter! Spark On! emoticon emoticon

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DBELLE39 4/7/2012 6:00PM

    Happy Easter!

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1CRAZYDOG 4/7/2012 4:36PM

    She almost had it!!!! LOL

Happy Easter to you.

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SHOAPIE 4/7/2012 3:47PM

    emoticon

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GRANNYSUE9 4/7/2012 1:48PM

    That is totally a blonde joke!

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NPA4LOSS 4/7/2012 12:15PM

    emoticon so sad but too true.

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SP: We Have Babies!!

Thursday, April 05, 2012

Miss Kitty had 4 babies today. I had a pet taxi on the porch just outside our door with an old towel in it. When it was cold the cats would sleep in it. This is where she had her babies. Do not know the sexes of anything, but maybe later I can get a picture of them.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NPA4LOSS 4/6/2012 11:25AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon Enjoy the fun!

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GRANDMA624 4/6/2012 9:29AM

  emoticon

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MAGGIE101857 4/6/2012 6:41AM

    Awww congrats!!! Nothing cuter than newborn kitties!

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1CRAZYDOG 4/5/2012 8:58PM

    Awwww. . . glad the kittens arrived! Congrats.

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BEENHEREB4 4/5/2012 8:41PM

    Newborn kittens are so sweet. I hope mommy and babies do well. Please do post a picture. emoticon

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JOANNS4 4/5/2012 8:15PM

    emoticonI would love to see the picture.


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Matt Dillon came like a thief in the night & got Miss Kitty pregnant!!

Wednesday, April 04, 2012

Matt Dillon is a large male cat in my neighborhood. Miss Kitty is my female cat. Her 2 other "adult boys" (Festus & Doc) have been neutered, but I have not had time to get her spayed (yet). Sorry, if you have never seen Matt Dillon in "Gunsmoke" then I know you are lost in this conversation.

Miss Kitty is large & must be ready. Last night we had that storm go through TX & I figured she would probably have them, but she is still "in one piece" this morning. Will keep you informed. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SNUZSUZ 4/7/2012 10:20PM

    The title got my attention too! I used to love Gunsmoke, hope everything comes out okay for Miss Kitty:)

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NPA4LOSS 4/4/2012 8:16PM

    emoticon Keeper sends his regards and wants you to know that he never left my apartment! emoticon

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BARNABUSA1 4/4/2012 3:33PM

    Cute names! I hope Matt does the respectable thing for Miss Kitty! Where was Sam and his shotgun when thing got too much for Miss Kitty?

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MISSYMOOSE71 4/4/2012 2:31PM

    Poor Miss Kitty. I hope it all works out.

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1CRAZYDOG 4/4/2012 1:03PM

    That title grabbed me, too! Was a big Gunsmoke fan.

Hope Miss Kitty has a uneventful delivery!

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LADYBUG1943 4/4/2012 12:43PM

    Awwww! Love baby kitties! That happened to us once when we were gone overnight and left our female dog in the garage. The oil guy came while we were gone and let her out. Our neighbors reported her amorous behavior over the weekend, and sure enough.... Lady hadn't acted like a lady!

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LINDAKAY228 4/4/2012 12:07PM

    I remember Gunsmoke and the title got my attention for sure! Glad she's doing okay and hope that it goes well. And glad that you made it through the storms it seems.

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MISSM66 4/4/2012 11:59AM

    waiting to hear what happen emoticon

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JAMBABY0 4/4/2012 11:28AM

    Hope it all goes well!

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"I have a gun, & I know how to use it! Get out of the car." (THIS IS HILARIOUS!)

Friday, March 30, 2012

(This is supposedly a true account recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota, Florida.)

GET OUT OF THE CAR!!

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping &, upon returning to her car, found 4 males in the act of leaving with her vehicle.

She dropped her shopping bags & drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her lungs, “I have a gun, & I know how to use it! Get out of the car!”

The 4 men didn’t wait for a 2nd threat. They got out & ran like mad.

The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car & got into the driver’s seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition.

She tried & tried, & then she realized why. It was for the same reason she had wondered why there was a football, a Frisbee & two 12-packs of beer in the front seat.

A few minutes later, she found her own car parked 4 or 5 spaces farther down.

She loaded her bags into the car & drove to the police station to report her mistake.

The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn’t stop laughing.

He pointed to the other end of the counter, where 4 pale men were reporting a carjacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than 5 feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, & carrying a large handgun.

No charges were filed.

Moral of the story?

If you’re going to have a senior moment…make it memorable.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DGFOWLER 4/2/2012 6:40AM

    Way to funny.. Have a great day ~ Donna

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NPA4LOSS 4/1/2012 7:21PM

    emoticon emoticon

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WRWW13 4/1/2012 7:14PM

    I love this - way 2 funny and totally like something I would do - LOL!!

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ELIZACG9 3/31/2012 8:57AM

    Ha ha ha really funny, good story to wake up to today. emoticon

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MICHELE142 3/31/2012 12:35AM

   
emoticon I need that lengthy laugh more than you know!

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JULIEANNCAN 3/30/2012 8:48PM

    emoticon

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NANNER2121 3/30/2012 6:17PM

    I Love it! Can I have a senior moment? Please??

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SHOAPIE 3/30/2012 5:22PM

    emoticon

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CHANGINGK 3/30/2012 3:42PM

  Thanks so much for the smile! I can't wait to share this one!

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1CRAZYDOG 3/30/2012 11:03AM

    Uh oh!!!!!!!

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CONNIER64 3/30/2012 10:18AM

    emoticon emoticon

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-PAULA 3/30/2012 9:47AM

    emoticon

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KGERALD1 3/30/2012 9:44AM

    Thanks for brightening my day. emoticon

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DIVINEPRINCESS 3/30/2012 9:36AM

    That had me laughing out loud! Too funny.

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MISSM66 3/30/2012 9:10AM

    Love it,Love it, thanks for the Laugh,I even share it with my Hubby. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BEGOODE 3/30/2012 8:47AM

    Lol :) emoticon

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KITT52 3/30/2012 8:21AM

    this was hilarious.....lol

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RIDLEYRIDER 3/30/2012 7:57AM

  I loved this one! Thanks!! emoticon

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AZMOMXTWO 3/30/2012 7:42AM

  awesome one thank you I needed that

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GARDENCHRIS 3/30/2012 7:38AM

    love it!! emoticon

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