DFROMTX   97,977
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DFROMTX's Recent Blog Entries

DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME LOGIC

Saturday, March 10, 2012

When told the reason for daylight savings time the Old Indian said, "Only the government would believe that you could cut a foot off the top of a blanket, sew it to the bottom, and have a longer blanket."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRANDMA624 3/13/2012 8:10AM

  I do NOT like DST. emoticon emoticon

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PURPLE_ROSE_BUD 3/12/2012 11:28AM

    I love this! I also dislike DST. It always takes DH and me a couple of weeks to adjust. Even our dog doesn't like it.

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SNUZSUZ 3/11/2012 10:42AM

    My daughter and I just had a conversation about this yesterday, and how illogical it really is, very funny! I copied and pasted it to send to her, I hope you don't mind:)

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SONYALATRECE 3/10/2012 11:44PM

    Best DST joke I've heard bar none!

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DJ4HEALTH 3/10/2012 9:57PM

    So true and just like they can spend money and think that they can get more from it and say that we have to make sacrifices and they don't. Just like the government.

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ONUTHIN125 3/10/2012 9:39PM

    emoticon I do not like DST. Spark On! emoticon emoticon

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GMASANDIE 3/10/2012 7:05PM

    That is good! I am far from a fan of DST.

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THE HOTEL BILL

Friday, March 09, 2012

The Hotel Bill

An elderly lady decided to give herself a big treat for her significant birthday by staying overnight in one of Chicago's most expensive hotels.

When she checked out next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $500.00.

She exploded and demanded to know why the charge was so high. "It's a nice hotel but the rooms certainly aren't worth $500.00 for just an overnight stop without even breakfast."

The clerk told her that $500.00 is the 'standard rate' so she insisted on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appeared and forewarned by the desk clerk announced: "the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which are available for use."

'But I didn't use them," she said.

''Well, they are here, and you could have," explained the Manager. He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which the hotel is famous.

"We have the best entertainers from New York, Los Angeles, and Las Vegas performing here," the Manager said.

"But I didn't go to any of those shows," she said.

Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replied.

No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, "But I didn't use it!"

The Manager was unmoved, so she decided to pay, wrote a check and gave it to the Manager.

The Manager was surprised when he looked at the check. " But madam, this check is only made out for $100.00."

'That's correct. I charged you $400.00 for sleeping with me," she replied.

"But I didn't!" exclaims the very surprised Manager.

"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."

Don't mess with Senior Citizens!



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WRWW13 3/11/2012 6:13PM

    Loved it - thanks for sharing!!!!

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SNUZSUZ 3/11/2012 10:44AM

    LOL! for real!

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BEGOODE 3/11/2012 7:48AM

    Lol

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COUNTRYGRANNY 3/9/2012 4:28PM

    Gave me a good laugh for the day. Thanks

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SPAYYOURCAT 3/9/2012 2:35PM

    Ha ha ha - Thanks for the funny! emoticon

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GMASANDIE 3/9/2012 7:51AM

    Cute!

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WALIDGAZALA 3/9/2012 7:00AM

    IT is a Coward manager emoticon

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CAT609 3/9/2012 6:58AM

    LOL! This really made me laugh! emoticon

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Gardening Through The Pain

Thursday, March 08, 2012

I worked in the garden for the last 2 days. Yesterday I planted 4 rows of Texas 1015 onions & the day before planted 5 rows of potatoes. I have no tiller & all this was done by hand! That hoe & rake will definitely wake up the muscles, not to mention all the stooping and bending. Hope I am not too sore & stiff to walk on the treadmill some today.

I have revised my weight tracker because a couple of more pounds managed to "creep on". UGH! This "going in the wrong way" on the weight scale is for the birds!

I still have some hip & back pain, but am trying to work through it.

Everyone have a great day!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PURPLE_ROSE_BUD 3/9/2012 9:27PM

    emoticon That's really hard work with out a tiller. I'm amazed you could manage that with your pain. I really don't think you need the treadmill after all that.

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NPA4LOSS 3/8/2012 11:12PM

    emoticon emoticon Take care of yourself. I can't wait to hear about your great garden later when it begins to grow and produce. emoticon

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JOANNS4 3/8/2012 7:02PM

    You are wonderful to keep on going through the pain. I know your vegetables will be so good for you.
emoticon

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DMILLER33 3/8/2012 7:42AM

    Wow! That's a lot of garden work- no tiller. What a workout for you. Who needs the treadmill. I am sure it was rough on your hip. Just remember how nice it will be in the end--your own healthy produce.

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Piriformis pain.....a real pain in the butt!!

Saturday, March 03, 2012

Piriformis syndrome results when the piriformis muscle deep in the hip irritates the sciatic nerve and causes sciatic pain. I do not know what I did to get this, but it is really painful. My left hip hurts to walk, sit or whatever & I have to be careful when walking that my hip does not "give way" and cause me to fall.

I still have the toe pain, but it is better and a couple of days ago I decided that I could start walking again....then this happened.

Anyone with suggestions that will make this pain go away or ease some? All help appreciated.





  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MDUKE93 5/17/2012 9:00AM

  SASIKHASI1,

What is DMSO?

I have sciatic pain and piriformis syndrome as well and I am always looking for helpful ideas.

Thank you.

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NPA4LOSS 3/4/2012 11:34AM

    I know hip and sciatic pain. It has a permanent place in my life. Sending emoticon and emoticon

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SASIKHASI1 3/3/2012 12:22PM

    I would try DMSO and you can get it at vitacost.com

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A WOMAN'S WEEK AT THE GYM (LOL)

Tuesday, February 28, 2012


A Woman’s Week At the Gym

If you read this without laughing out loud, there is something wrong with you. This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.


Dear Diary,

For my birthday this year, my husband purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me.

Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Christo, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.
Friends seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.
________________________________
MONDAY:
Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Christo waiting for me. He is something of a Greek god-- with blond hair, dancing eyes, and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!

Christo gave me a tour and showed me the machines... I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!

Christo was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!
________________________________
TUESDAY:
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door.

Christo made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then he put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. His rewarding smile made it all worthwhile.

I feel GREAT! It's a whole new life for me.
_______________________________
WEDNESDAY:
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it.

I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals.

Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.

Christo was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members.. His voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.

My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Christo put me on the stair monster. Why would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Christo told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. He said some other crap too.
_______________________________
THURSDAY:
Butt hole was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl.

I couldn't help being a half an hour late-- it took me that long to tie my shoes.

He took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. He sent some skinny witch to find me.

Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine-- which I sank.
_________________________________
FRIDAY:
I hate that jackass Christo more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic, little aerobic instructor. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it.

Christo wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the darn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.

The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?
________________________________
SATURDAY:
Satan left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing his voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel..
________________________________
SUNDAY:
I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my husband will choose a gift for me that is fun-- like a root canal or a hysterectomy.

I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!




  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DGFOWLER 3/8/2012 8:52AM

    Love it and by golly I'd be thanking God too by the end of the week. I have never been to a gym in my life and I'm sure it would beat my butt too.. emoticon Donna

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7356WILMA 2/28/2012 9:45PM

  This would be a lot funnier if it wasn't so true!! emoticon

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GRANDMA624 2/28/2012 7:01PM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon

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NYKIMMIE 2/28/2012 12:22PM

    emoticon

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