DEZIREME2   9,136
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Here we go again...

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Sigh. On June 16th I turned 50....50! Think I'm still in shock about it. It seems like ever since my birthday I have been reflecting and again weight is the #1 item on the list. I was on Jenny Craig (again) in January of last year with a new outlook on everything. I was at my all time high of 298 lbs. It took me about 5 months to lose 25lbs and boy did it make a difference in my health - osteoarthritis diminished, I was actually happier than I had been in a long time and then I decided on my own. After a year of gaining and losing I'm up to 287 lbs. Peri-menopause has taken a terrible toll on me and I just feel defeated. My knee pain has now escalated into back and hip pain. This must be the bottom for me. I'm so sad and depressed that all I could do was write how I felt today.

Some people have suggested water aerobics but the Y is sooo expensive and they don't offer classes at the time I need (I work and go to school). I'm a mess.. I apologize in advance for the downer biog but I just had to get it out.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEZIREME2 7/13/2014 8:19PM

    Awwww I didn't expect to get respoonses so quickly. Thanks for letting me have a brief pity party. Iin the past few months I have had a relationship break up, problems on mg job , bormonnal changes that I'm trying to understand, not to mention I am an emotional eater. Anywaay, I feel a litttle better thanks to you guys aan know that THIS TOOO SSHALL PASS!

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PHATNOMO11 7/13/2014 8:10PM

    Hang in there, things will get better. You have a lot on your plate right now with work and school. Take some time to take care of yourself. emoticon

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JAROL7 7/13/2014 8:03PM

    Oh, you are just a babe in arms compared to us old people. But our life is the best ever. We are living the dream! So don't sweat these puny birthdays. It just gets better if you take care of yourself.

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IWANT2DOTHIS1X 7/13/2014 8:03PM

    It's ok to feel sad,, but using as a tool for change instead of having a party in the down is not. OK now your back and on track and alt least your not above where you were before. You can do this! I can do this! We can do this! emoticon

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BMCOLLEY 7/13/2014 7:53PM

    Ooh, you poor baby(LOL). I know what you are going through. When I turned 50 I reflected on my life. It lasted 3 or 4 years. I am 62. I have finally stopped reflecting. At least you have a plan to become happier.

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Another January 1st has come....

Tuesday, January 01, 2013

I hate making New Years' resolutions because I never keep them. When I don't keep them it makes me feel like a failure. I am in the same place that I started last year (weight wise) but I don't want to whine bout that. All I can say is that I am still here and am still trying! I refuse to give up!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

POLACALINDA 1/10/2013 2:02AM

    You and me both, girl! I hear what you're saying. This year is going to be different for both of us though. We can and will find our way to the healthy women God wants us to be. DON'T STOP AND YOU ARE BOUND TO GET THERE EVENTUALLY!!!!

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Wednesday, August 29, 2012

When I first started this program back in January (can't believe it's been that long already) I was 288. Over time I continued to gain and at my highest was 298. Long story short, it has been a hurdle, month after month trying to get my life back by seeing a loss on the scale. For the past couple of months I have been consistently losing a pound here an ounce there. Well I'm happy to say that I have lost a total of 7 lbs (7 of the lbs I gained since being on Sparkpeople)! Now I know you're thinking okay you lost but it took you like 7 months. I know, I know I felt the same way at first but then realized that a loss is a loss regardless of how much or how long it took so... I am happy and am finally seeing steady results! Yayy me!


Losing Hope..

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Today is not a good day. Each week I gain a little more than the last. If you read my previous blog I know all about healthy eating so I know what to do. The only thing I'm not doing is exercising. Due to my bad knees I haven't been doing much of anything hoping that if I can get my healthy eating under control I'd have a significant loss. Not the case. Peri-menopausal, depressed and the weight is just not coming off. I can't swim am scared of the water but was thinking about joining the Y just to try this water aerobics. The thought of putting on a bathing suit though immediately makes me retract that thought. I don't know. I am also seriously thinking about getting an elliptical. Back when I was in shape I was doing an hour on it with vigor - now I can barely pedal 2 minutes w/o having to stop.

Sorry to be such a downer today. I am tipping the scale at 290. I have never weighed this much in my life and frankly I am scared.

Anyway, I just needed to get my feelings out today. Today is not a good day :o(

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PAMELANFL 2/21/2012 11:43AM

    Dont' give up!!!! I'm just gettn started and we can do this!!!! emoticon

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DEZIREME2 2/15/2012 1:20PM

    I just want to give a emoticon to all that responded to my blog. I truly am listening to each one of you and am going to check out those chair exercises right now!


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MAGA99 2/15/2012 1:15PM

    I pray things get better 4 u n soon

have u looked into chair exercises they may help w the bad knees

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    :) as a girl about the same point as you - take strength! Today is a hard day, but the day is young. So you can't do things hard on your knees, how about doing amended yoga, or work your upper body or floor work? I was not a fan of water aerobics either, but I am jumping in with both feet - we work in the 4ft section so I'm well above water and I can start slow and go and stop as I need to. You can do this - It's okay to have a bad day, so long as it doesn't string together to become a permanent state of mind :). I miss the elliptical (on the hunt now to purchase one of my own. Tell yourself you CAN do hard things, and choose today to work on your abs or do upper body excercises until you feel more confident in excercising! You can Do it!

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FREETHEGODDESS 2/15/2012 12:52PM

    I lost my first 20 lbs. just changing my eating habits. I know all about healthy eating as well but, I was not watching my portions or calories so I recommend measuring your food and watching your simple carbs. Also, don't eat too few calories because that slows down your metabolism. Eat plenty of lean protein to keep blood sugar levels steady because spikes can stop your metabolism as well.Drinking water helps with digestion and metabolism too.

You are capable of doing cardio exercises in a chair so I recommend checking out the Chair Exercise Sparkteam for exercise recommendations and for support. There are many people on this website with similar restrictions and issues that can help you. Don't dwell on what you can't do, concentrate of what you CAN do!

Don't give up. You CAN do this!!! Life is soooo much better for me now and I want the same success for everyone else. This is not easy but, it is POSSIBLE so keep thinking positive and fight for what you CAN do it!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 2/15/2012 12:57:43 PM

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