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Problems...Working it out

Monday, December 14, 2009

1. I can't help but give 75-150% in my job. I like to be challenged, to organize, to be productive, useful...

I can't relax and be happy if I can't maneuver in my job.

2. If I am working 9-11 hours a day, I can't seem to be able to eat right and get everything together because I am at work without a break, without a liquid break, without a pee break, without a lunch break.

I work so hard and I can't fit it all in and I can't get it done and then I get soo upset that I can't exercise and eat right and fit it in.

I have to figure out how to do this without letting the chest pain do me in or
something else.

I can't wait to my doctor's appt, maybe he can prescribe anxiety meds.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHAQUITA73 12/15/2009 8:43PM

    I know exactly how you feel. I'm self employed...working (or worrying about work) most minutes of every day. The rest of my time is spent with my family. I think the earlier posts are right. Put yourself first and everything else falls in line. I'm going to try. Best of luck in your journey!

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KRICKETTWO 12/14/2009 7:48PM

    In a day and age when our jobs are so demanding, competition in the workplace is high, and job security is a hot commodity... our careers can easily become #1 in our lives. We work ourselves to the bone.... skip breaks (all that you mentioned above), and sacrifice precious family and personal time... all to maintain a high level of productivity.

In the process, we become robots, jumping through hoops, rushing to keep up with all the tasks that keep our lives running, lacking in sleep and wound tight with anxiety.... then unable to sleep even when we can get to bed. So many young girls are finding themselves in a situation of adrenal burnout. Hormones get out of whack and effect everything.

What we don't realize is that if we put ourselves first on the list, our jobs benefit. We are much better people and our productivity is better... not to mention our attitudes and the energy that we exude.

Take care of yourself..... make YOU the first on your list. Don't wait until your physical health begins to suffer to make the change.

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XENAMY 12/14/2009 6:42PM

  Well, first things first. There has to be an Erica in order for there to be an Erica job. It seems like there is no other answer but to force yourself to prioritize, and put Erica first. It doesn't have to be all the time, but definitely most of the time. Is there anyone else at your job that works as hard as you do?

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November 12 - December 12, 2009 - First Month Review

Saturday, December 12, 2009

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Really going over your numbers for the month, you start to realize you weren't doing so bad. I am not sure why I gave up the last few days. I think it had a lot to do with finding new motivation and support as well as....

I am starting to realize something about myself. I dream and idealize a date in my head. And that date keeps me from going over the edge and freaking out. IE. A christmas party where I can where a sexy new red and white christmas outfit, a birthday trip, etc.. But as the date looms ahead, the amount of time I have I tend to take for granted and not change anything to get the desired result and then as the date looms ahead, I have a panic attack and then I give up and fall into a deep depression with food and tv being the only source of staying someone functional. Which of course leads to more pounds, more isolation and more fanciful dreams of a future date. Finally I accept the date, suck it up and live the once idealized day wishing I did something to make myself better.

And I accept the date, lift myself slightly out of depression and then I yoyo back and forth between forced smiles and isolation until the date is over and I can dream once again. Now, I know this about myself but I never made a fully conscious connection in real time.

This year with our christmas party. I have been dreaming each year to show up looking like a 10. And once I realized I can't drop off the face of the earth and I have to go, I just started rewarding my pain with food and unhealthy choices.. But I had these thoughts and I have been mulling them over. I want to break this cycle. The party is over. I need to focus on building a good habit foundation base and getting my body into prime health shape.

I do feel good about my first month because I feel like I am not starting over on Monday trying another diet. Okay so I might have gained a few pounds back and lost a few pounds but I tracked my food everyday, I watched my tendencies, I have learned some good choices and bad choices.

Plus, although my water record is horrible. This is the most water I have drank in a month.

Plus even though my numbers are poor, in actuality they are good. Because I am sure that Oct 12-Nov 12 my numbers would look like this:

Days over my max calorie intake: 30/30
Days met nutrients: 0/0
Water Drank: 0 cups

I am on my way and I am going to bring this year home in a great way so I can really be on my way come 1/1/2010.

MY FIRST 30 DAY REVIEW:

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Nutrition:
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Days Over Max Calorie Intake: 5/30
Days Met Calorie Intake: 10/30
Days Under Calorie Intake: 15/30

Days Over Fat: 7/30
Days Met Fat: 19/30
Days Under Fat: 4/30

Days Over Carbs: 4/30
Days Met Carbs: 8/30
Days Under Carbs: 18/30

Days Under Fiber: 24/30
Days Met Fiber: 6/30

Days Met Protein: 6/30
Days Under Protein: 24/30

Days Over Sodium: 15/30
Days Over Cholesterol: 2/30

Days Drank 9 cups of water: 1
Days Drank 6 cups of water: 3
Days Drank 5 cups of water: 3
Days Drank 4 cups of water: 4
Days Drank 3 cups of water: 3
Days Drank 2 cups of water: 7
Days Drank 1 cup of water: 3
Days Drank 0 cups of water: 5


Fitness Review: emoticon

Days I exercised: 13/30


Other Goals Review: emoticon

Logging/ Visit Spark 30/30
Going to Gym: 8 /30
Meditation / Ritual: 4/30
Daily Review 23/30
Weekly Review: 4/4
Logging Pís 4/30
Grading: 0/30
Language: 0/30
Track spending: 1/30
Survival Class: 1/30
Word a day: 0/30
Reading 0/30
Organization: 7/30
Morning Vits: 0/30
Afternoon Vits: 0/30
Evening Vits: 0/30
Work out DVD: 0/30
P90X: 0/30
Leader Duties: 4/30
Friend/Support: 4/30
Yoga: 2/30
Floor Exercises: 2/30

Something else to be proud of... I grew through this 30 days learning the site and the features and upgrading and expanding how I could use it and incorporate it in all facets of my life so I can use it all the time.

I also hit a depression slip and I pulled myself out of it. I am not sure if I am weaker because of the monthly visitor or what but I came out of it without damaging myself too much.

SECOND MONTH - December 12 - Jan 12 GOALS: emoticon

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Nutrition emoticon

Days Over Max Calorie Intake: 2/30
Days Met Calorie Intake: 20/30
Days Under Calorie Intake: 5/30

Days Over Fat: 2/30
Days Met Fat: 23/30
Days Under Fat: 5/30

Days Over Carbs: 1/30
Days Met Carbs: 15/30
Days Under Carbs: 14/30

Days Under Fiber: 5/30
Days Met Fiber: 25/30

Days Met Protein: 15/30
Days Under Protein: 15/30

Days Over Sodium: 10/30
Days Over Cholesterol: 2/30

Days Drank 8 cups of water: 5
Days Drank 6 cups of water: 5
Days Drank 5 cups of water: 5
Days Drank 4 cups of water: 5
Days Drank 3 cups of water: 0
Days Drank 2 cups of water: 0
Days Drank 1 cup of water: 0
Days Drank 0 cups of water: 0


Fitness Review: emoticon

Days I exercised: 30/30

Other Goal Review: emoticon

Logging/ Visit Spark 30/30
Going to Gym: 15 /30
Meditation / Ritual: 30/30
Daily Review 30/30
Weekly Review: 4/4
Logging Pís 20/30
Grading: 4/30
Language: 7/30
Track spending: 9/30
Survival Class: 10/30
Word a day: 15/30
Reading 15/30
Organization: 15/30
Morning Vits: 20/30
Afternoon Vits: 20/30
Evening Vits: 20/30
Work out DVD: 15/30
P90X: 15/30
Leader Duties: 15/30
Friend/Support: 15/30
Yoga: 15/30
Floor Exercises: 20/30

I also want to log how many times I cheat, have soda/diet soda, chocolate etc.

My biggest problem is discipline and staying organized in a naturally cramped and chaotic surrounding lifestyle.

But... I want this ...
I shall prevail.

Here is to another great month on Sparkpeople with all my sparkfriends!


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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KRICKETTWO 12/13/2009 5:43PM

    You're doing great!! Keep up the great work and the wonderful attitude.

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ANAJAK 12/12/2009 6:26PM

    Hey I so understand the "hiding" out when you've not managed to meet a goal you set for yourself - thanks for reminding me that it is not helpful to beat yourself up:)

Great Blog and good luck with your goals for this month - I know you can do it!



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ANAJAK 12/12/2009 6:25PM

    Hey I so understand the "hiding" out when you've not managed to meet a goal you set for yourself - thanks for reminding me that it is not helpful to beat yourself up:)

Great Blog and good luck with your goals for this month - I know you can do it!



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PINKYPOOS 12/12/2009 5:47PM

    You had a GREAT month!! Like you say if you compare this to your previous month, it really shows a difference. This is about building up healthy habits, so that they become second nature and stick for the rest of your life! It isn't supposed to be perfect, but those small changes mount up month to month - trust me!! Keep it going, xx

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How comes health food

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

tastes so healthy? I hate dark chocolate. But I got some very lightly sweetened by organic unrefined cane sugar. And it tastes healthy. I wouldn't say good but definitely healthy.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

XENAMY 12/10/2009 11:13AM

  You didn't expect a smooth chocolate cheesecake taste, did you?

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STRINGS58 12/9/2009 8:35PM

    do you like coffee? sometimes the dark chocolate with coffee seems to help you forget that it's dark chocolate emoticon

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Thoughts

Monday, December 07, 2009

It gets hard when there is nothing to look forward to. When the only good thing you have to look forward to is the thing that throws your failure in your face.

I got lost this weekend. Even though there is nothing to look forward to this new years and once again I will be alone. I looked at the fact that if I do well each day until the new year, I will have established a habit and I can start the new year with that accomplishment. Channukah is Saturday so that will be fun and a way to reharmonize myself and my goals to the miracles of life.

I lost my creativity. I miss my vivacious creative fire.
I want to try and find this before the new year.

I want to take the rest of my life and just live it. I don't know how or why or with whom but I want to live it. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TESTACAV 12/8/2009 9:21AM

    Keep on going hun!! you are amazing :)

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RESHAPEMYLIFE 12/7/2009 8:10PM

    When we learn more about who we are we begin to grow and change and accept others in a whole new way. We are then more open to bringing others into our circle in productive and positive way.
Keep loving you,
T

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RESHAPEMYLIFE 12/7/2009 8:10PM

    When we learn more about who we are we begin to grow and change and accept others in a whole new way. We are then more open to bringing others into our circle in productive and positive way.
Keep loving you,
T

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SERITAB1 12/7/2009 8:06PM

  Hello,
I used to sound just like you before I started taking antidepressants. It sounds like you are really depressed. You will not attract anyone until you are healthy inside, no matter what size you are. I pray that you find peace within and that your God will give you 'rest'. :) Better days are ahead!

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QUIDDITCHGRRL 12/7/2009 8:04PM

    It's just like every Sparkpeople goal setting technique - start small and be consistent, and you'll eventually reach the point where all the good things you're doing snowball into something big.

I hope you have a relaxing holiday time and can concentrate on where you want to be tomorrow, next week, next year - and see them all as happy times. :)

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Work - Football Pool

Monday, December 07, 2009

For the first time, I am in the running to win. If Baltimore wins, I win.
Even if I don't, this is the first week I got more than 7-8 correct and it made me smile.. I am going to try to hold on to this little win.

To quote Reese Witherspoon in Legally Blonde, "ME!"

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