Monday, February 28, 2011
A co-worker mentioned that one of the popular diets, when you go to your weigh-in, if you go over or do not lose weight, you pay them money.
This got me to thinking.... So I am trying the 23847th thing and hopefully this one is the LAST ONE.
My friend Amy and I are going to weigh in each Wednesday morning with pictures to prove.
We have set a 2 lb goal for each week ending on 7/13/11 for a total of 20 weeks.
For each lb lost, we get $5 in our "bank"
For each lb gained, we lose $5
If we stay the same, we get $1
For every inch we lose, we get $0.50
The idea is that on 7/13/11, whoever has reached their goal of 40lbs, the winner gets bragging rights.
The person who fails to reach their goal has to pay the amount of money they lost plus the amount of money the winner accrued.
If we both lose, which will NOT happen, than we both owe money to a third party.
If we both win, quite possible, than we both ARE 40 lbs THINNER!!!
My friend and I are quite competitive with each other so it has already started with a bang with lots of smack talking.
I have to say I feel quite comfortable because I know 2 lbs is doable, it is just enough to keep me going on the right path but with none of the overwhelming tension.
This wednesday will be our first weigh in. I feel very positive with how it is going and I hope I can keep it up.
I am ready to live my life - really live with energy and positivity and creativity.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
I have been trying to spend my time pushing myself past comfort zones. While doing this, I have been trying to focus on reflection instead of blind action. Instead of eating two whoppers, sit back and really reflect if the whopper will be my best choice in this moment.
I have noticed that I tend to put so much pressure on myself. I write up a to do list with 42 things on it and get stressed and start mentally punishing myself and then puffing up like a windbag trying to let out steam before I collapse. It isn't a healthy way to exist.
I need to find a way to be productive, go with the flow and be happy.
I do not get bonus points if I make a big stink over what I should have done but didn't.
Nothing I say or feel is going to change the situation, help it or complete any of the tasks for me.
It also isn't going to make life any easier. Instead it wastes my time and upsets the people around me.
Last night I ended up staying up until 1AM to finish a report. So I didn't finish laundry and now my clothes are wet and need to be rewashed. I didn't drop check off at night deposit at the bank. I didn't get gas before the big storm. Instead of getting myself so worked up and having a bad day at work. I don't have to say oh no big deal but I can let it all go. Do what I can and what I need to as soon as possible. Don't lose my cool. Stay aware, Stay focused. Let go.
I end up getting more done and being more useful to myself and creating a lot less stress, so a lot less stress hormones, so a lot less fat.
I need to stay focused on awareness and reflection. That is the biggest key and through that I am learning to change my life, real change.
Sunday, January 09, 2011
"You must learn not to be afraid of the world, to not take any notice of it." - Howard Roark
I find that when I am busy running around I lose a sense of creativity. Almost like a wall has built up around my insides and I have so much stagnation to weed through to find any semblence of a connection to the words I feel inside.
I feel like the past few months things are brewing and changing.
I want to culitivate myself and be proud of my producing and creation.
I want to be the direct representation of all of my greatest ideas and all the people I admire.
"Nothing can be done in life without an idea"
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Last week, I decided to get back in the swing of things. But since May I feel like I have some kind of crazy monkey in my life just flinging all kinds of challenges and poop my way.
A few times I prayed to an angel and then things got worse. And I keep thinking wow, every time you try to improve, everything in the universe positions itself to make sure you don't succeed.
And I know this is counterproductive so I have been trying to think of yes changing my life will be challenging because of breaking bad habits and life isn't out to get me.
Monday, I did an ugly cry all the way to work.
Tuesday, I again called out to the angels to help me. Tuesday at 3pm, I found out my nana was in the hospital.
My nana and I have this amazingly close relationship and everyone knows this. I spent most of my childhood with her, taking care of things for her, and her taking care of me. My aunt took my nana to a lawyer and paid for everything and said, I will be your executor.
Funny thing this aunt has terrorized, manipulated, picked on etc family members for years.
She is the least diplomatic, nice, forgiving etc. She is the most vindictive, stubborn, alienating etc person.
We go to the hospital - It is serious. Her only option is Triple Bypass and her survival chances aren't the best. My nana tells me to take her clothes, purse etc to her house and pick up some pads etc for her. She also told me to stay at her place, eat some cho chos and sleep with her bear. Now, giving our history, i was like sure. After leaving the hospital late, we went to nana's house to sleep, grab the items and go back to the hospital.
My aunt came in at 7am and had the management guys come in and attempt to kick us out.
She stated we were squatters and ....
It was literally a Jerry Springer segment in my nana's house. My aunt yelled and lied and acted as if we were the worst scum and not even family. The management guy was like Maam, she has the keys. I can't even go into it.
I just can't believe she is executor and I am scared how she will try to keep playing that card to keep us away from my nana.
I work over 40 hours a week, i have multiple obligations and here I am driving back and forth over 1.5 hours one way to handle this issue. My aunt who is retired and hardly visited nana in the hospital.
I am not sure when surgery is. Probably Friday or Monday and I am exhausted, emotionally drained and am just barely hanging on my the fingernails.
I really could use a boyfriend right now, or a hug or ....
I will not let this derail me. It might bang my butt up but I shall not be derailed.
But please life STOP IT, I got enough for now. lol
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