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38 days to prove myself

Monday, August 02, 2010

I can't tell you how many times I tell myself I will _____________________.
I can't tell you how many times I fail at _____________________________.

When life hands me opportunities, I want to be at a place where I can feel I can accept them and take advantage of each one.

I could look at the last 52 days as failures or momentum leading up to growth.

I choose momentum.

I am still working on my full plan but I have to get something out.

So far....
I have been doing green smoothies for 48 days.
I have been taking OMEGAs for 43 days.
Dr. Oz said it takes 3 months for your brain to adjust to the new levels.

DAILY TASKS FOR CHANGE:

NUTRITION
[ ] Drink One Green / Vege / Fruit Smoothie with added vitamins (Omegas, Coconut Oil, CoQ10, Amino Acids, Enyzmes, Aloe Vera
[ ] Take Supplements: SamE, DHEA, Zinc, Magnesium
[ ] 2 Bottles of Water
[ ] 1 Bottle of Lemon Water
[ ] No soda
[ ] Eat healthy snacks

BODY HEALTH:
[ ] 8 oz of water prior to exercise, during every 30 mins and after.
[ ] Exercise


DISCIPLINE:
[ ] Tracking Food
[ ] Waking up at 6 AM
[ ] Going to bed at 10 PM
[ ] To Do List Item
[ ] Doing one hobby task
[ ] Do Daily Organizational / Clean up / Filing / Putting things away
[ ] Track Spending


SPIRITUAL LIFE:
[ ] Meditation with Daily Review

MOTIVATIONAL
[ ] Daily Spark Team Check Ins
[ ] Accountability Blog
[ ] Music
[ ] Visualizations
[ ] Reading

CAREER
[ ] Stay at job - be productive
[ ] Write

WEEKLY TASKS FOR CHANGE:
[ ] One Cranberry Juice a Week
[ ] Beets / Tuna Fish
[ ] Glass of Wine - Elderberry
[ ] Honey

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TETENGRIA 8/3/2010 11:34PM

    You Rock Erica!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!R>Embrace we are exactly where we need to be and there are no mistakes..
You will do this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<
BR>You wouldn't have the will if there wasn't a way....

One of your biggest fans!

Katie!!!!!!!!!!!

Comment edited on: 8/4/2010 12:27:18 AM

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GEEKYGRANDMOMMY 8/3/2010 8:34AM

    A lot of goals! Good Luck! You can do it!

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SHERYLP461 8/3/2010 12:45AM

    Wow, you have your plan ready to go. Good luck with it, just take one day at the time.

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Clubs, Activites, Overwhelmed, OH MY!

Friday, July 23, 2010

I think/feel/know that the amount of things on my plate is chipping away at my chances of success. It is also the reason of my denial, over-relaxation and feelings of being overwhelmed.

I try to keep all my activities separate with separate emails and I belong to a lot but only a few activities happen with each one and tons of communication emails and it just gets overwhelming.

How do you stay in touch with events without staying in touch with every piece of communication?

This weekend, I am going to have to list everything and make a plan for checking. Maybe if it is scheduled out for 15 mins a day check only certain items, I won't get overwhelmed, I can delete non-action items and not miss events and still stay somewhat in the loop.

The flip side is being very active and having a lot of things to look forward to is a great motivator, it also helps being accountable.

Right now, I just feel overwhelmed with this cloud of things around me. OYE!

---) Heading to the workshop to list this out.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TEENY_BIKINI 7/23/2010 10:14PM

    I find that amount of email overwhelming too. In fact, I rarely read them because I will go crazy. It sounds like you have a plan though - so rock it.

My plan usually includes deleting things really fast...

emoticon

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NIMAWEYGH 7/23/2010 2:21PM

    I so agree, it is so easy to have so much on your plate that you are so over whelmed that everything begins to suffer.

SO I have a saying for you.................*How do you eat an elephang?* ONE BITE AT A TIME!

If you remember you can only do one thing really well at a time then your idea for list is just wonderful. Assign these task to days and times if you can. Say you do such n such on M-W-F
an then on those other days you do not touch that task, assign different times and limits to things as well.
And last but not least prioritize, are there things you can stop doing altogether? I think you are on the right path to get yourself out from under this cloud called over whelmed.

Hang in there gal you can do it.
Nimma

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XENAMY 7/23/2010 12:15PM

  I love your background! LOVE IT! Balance is key. When you figure it out, give me a shout. Personally, I do better when I have less areas to focus on. Too much starts to make me a little CrAzY. I'd rather have fewer areas but get more involved. You know, the inch wide and a mile deep vs. the mile wide and inch deep.

Hmmm... perhaps half a mile both wide and deep?

Wait.. what are we talking about? No matter. You'll get it.

Love ya...

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Disillusioned and .... Must. Suceed. Must. Do.

Friday, July 23, 2010

I have been drinking at least 12 oz of my health smoothie every day since June 16th. I am feeling the health benefits, only missing I think one day. And I should feel good because by drinking the smoothies I can eat whatever and still maintain my weight. So I am not yo-yoing back up to 194 and back down.

However, I want to lose not maintain lol. I know the key ingredient is more water, schedule, meditation and exercise. And track the junk I eat. If I eat VERY VERY good, I can lose a pound a week or every two weeks which is good but so hard to maintain in the long run. I don't feel like I am depriving myself but....

I do feel like my metabolism is on the rebound and I am not going into starvation mode but it is a chore to eat right, prepare, do the dishes after every meal, take care of my family, work, and finding a way to do the things i love and move, and find a man or something...

I am always letting something slip and it is usually exercise.

In some ways I hate myself, my choices, and what I have wasted and allowed myself to become. The redeeming quality is I really love and admire myself, what I could be, who I am, what I have endured, yadda....

I hate that I don't do what i want and love to do but instead relax or give in. I need to build discipline, tenacity, follow through, and an integrity to the spirit of me.

I am 32, fatter than I have ever been, since I am aging the fat is taking on a horrible texture and shape. I am alone in so many ways and most of all because my weight affects how i react to life and the opportunities i take advantage of.

Life isn't perfect but if I can pull this off, this change, this Erica honoring lifestyle... I can be happy with my course and direction.

I just want to be comfortable and vulnerable.

Tonight and Saturday I am going to focus on stretch and running. Sunday I will fit it in as well. But if I don't do this. If I don't succeed, I might as well give up because I will never change. If this life hasn't motivated me to change, nothing will.

This is do or die time and I better follow through. I just have to. To channel Eminem, Success is the only option, failures not.

Maybe I will force myself to listen to Eminem before doing anything when i get home....

I want to be healthy and look great in clothes.
I want to feel comfortable being me out in public.
I want to feel able to take advantage of gifts and opportunities that present themselves.
I want to see old friends and be joyous not shameful at my lack of success in life.

So much. I must. Achieve this. NOW!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRAINERRYAN67 7/28/2010 4:48PM

    Erica,

You are an amazing woman. Your heart, your mind, your understanding and ability to empathise and connect. Your ability to see and perceive and execute.

Your ideas, your laughter, your spark.

However......


You live in something unreal. You are moving through your life with the wrong set of priorities and agendas. You are always falling short and one step behind.

You can't exercise, clean, get up early, make breakfast, make lunch, meditate and put on makeup and dress nice for work in the morning without being late.

You can't follow a schedule.

You don't follow through.

You don't do anything on your ideal day/dream/etc list.

At this point, everything in your life can be fixed.

Everything.

Yo
u are at a great point of change and forward motion but if you stay like this you will be the EVEN FATTER ERICA with cankles and a turkey neck which you already have... You won't have love in your life. You won't be self-sufficient. You won't have a career you care about. You won't be any closer to your dream/life/goals.

If you can't take the bull by the horn.
Rein your life in
Step back
Scale down
Watch your life like an alcholic crack addict stealing from your wallet and has a crush on your man
Do what you must
Execute each step
Tread lightly
Review
Assess
Chan
ge what isn't working ....

THE KEY HERE IS CHANGE WHAT ISNT WORKING.

REPEAT.

I know you are tired
I know you are lonely
I know you are overwhelmed
I know you YEARN
I know you WISH
I know you have every right
I know you are right
I know you aren't taking this DEADLY SERIOUS!
And if you aren't taking this DEADLY SERIOUS, then how appreciative and serious are you taking your life?

Life is beautiful and full of opportunities but only for the open and willing.

I want to meet you soon.
I want to be blown away by you.
I want to know and feel wow you are better than I even imagined.
I want to begin our lives together sharing and growing.

But until you take that first step, and each step after - our paths won't cross.

And sooner or later, I will stop waiting.

Finally decide and let me know if I should wait or if you aren't ready to live this life with me.

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SASXONTHEMOVE 7/23/2010 9:55PM

    Never give up. Are you going to let the FAT win?? That's what it wants. It wants to build up more of its little fatlings to just sit there on your body and make cellulite, cholesterol, liver issues, diabetes. Are you going to let that happen?

No matter what happens.

"But if I don't do this. If I don't succeed, I might as well give up because I will never change." This statement is FALSE. You can change. Did you give up when you failed the first time at walking? At printing your name for the first time? Did you give up when you failed a test at school, or your driving test?

NO!!!!

If you don't succeed this time, you get back up, dust yourself off, and start again. But you have to start. Please, don't let a setback make you think that you will NEVER change. It IS possible. It CAN be done. YOU CAN DO IT!

It IS hard. But nothing that is easy is as satisfying as completing something that is hard. Try doing mini goals. Write down 3 things that you want to accomplish this week: 1 fitness, 1 nutrition, 1 other. put the goals somewhere where you will see them (maybe in a lot of different places: blog, fridge, car, bathroom mirror)
Start small. Your "I want"s WILL happen. You CAN do it!



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DEVOTEEOFISET 7/23/2010 10:41AM

    Thanks for the support AngelaJeanx3 and Sewicked!! No, my family makes it harder to exercise as they are all excuses and I get tired of fighting it is hard enough fighting myself! lol. But I will find a way... I think of the scene when Mr. Darcy is in the fencing room and he looks down, grips the weapon and with all his willpower, says something like I will get over this. I will conquer this.

LOL! I WILL! :) I have to.

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SEWICKED 7/23/2010 9:54AM

    Do you have any way to work your exercise in with your family time? I know that walking with my Dad gave us great alone time to talk, about anything and everything. No mom, no brother meant that all of his attention was on me.

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ANGELAJEANX3 7/23/2010 9:39AM

    emoticon

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Getting Serious about Running?!/?

Friday, July 16, 2010

emoticon Running Goals: emoticon

May 2011 - 10 Mile Broad Street Run
October 2011 - Niagara Falls International Marathon with Tetengria (AKA KATIE)???
April 2012 - Paris Marathon

I would love to do these international marathons. They have some in
www.marathontours.com/index.c
fm?pid=10213


Italy, Hawaii, China, Spain.....

I miss England. I would love to be back there and run and Germany!
I WANT TO TRAVEL MORE!
Must find a way...

Next Stop Training!!! lol and SAVING!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEVOTEEOFISET 7/19/2010 12:42PM

    Nima, I have family that live there and I love it. I love everything about the countryside, the roads, the houses lol. I think I lived there in a past life! lol. And who doesn't love the accent?! lol.

Oh and the moors. love the moors.

Jackie, if you can make it I would love to see you! We could have spark shirts and represent sparkpeople!!! lol

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MARTHA116 7/18/2010 10:28PM

    Good luck! Maybe you can post your little goals as you go through your journey.

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TETENGRIA 7/17/2010 4:55PM

    Ha don't question the run with you me :P

Oh and I so wanna run in Italy... Hot guys here too....

Hugs,

K.

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FINDINGMYWAY09 7/17/2010 11:30AM

    are you doing those runs? if I'm around I'll do the Oct one with you but no offense hopefully I'll be in school :) but that will be my birthday goal :)

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NIMAWEYGH 7/16/2010 6:44PM

    Gal you can do anything you set your mind to. I love your goals. Are you English or did you just live there. Did you know my DH is from the UK? Yep and he misses it too.

You are going to succeed. You can do it. I have faith in you.

Nimma

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~~ 32 and counting scratch that NOT COUNTING!!

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Usually I think of certain times of the year as a goal - look great for my birthday, look great for New Years/Christmas and of course I always fail.

I tried to pull out of everything the past few days and really - relax, chill, take the whip off my back and try to enjoy myself. It was nice to have a few consecutive days off of work where I did nothing much of anything at all.

I read over 1500 pages and started two paintings.

~~ Did I do everything I wanted? NO

~~ Did I relax as much as I wanted? Cleaned as much as I wanted? Planned/Structured or Organized as much as I wanted? No, No, No.

But I felt like I needed to have time to just be without forcing myself into any kind of mold for my job and/or other obligations I have.

When you do the things you really want to do, small bits of wisdom come up. Almost like insights to what you might be going through, coming to terms with or feeling in the years to come.

I am trying to -- scratch that -- I AM relaxing my need to please and be anything successful in another's eyes in this life.

I am focusing on sacrificing tons of "luxury" items to see where allowing my creativity and strength of character to shine through.

I feel like there is so much on the tip of my tongue and I just want to feel those nuggets into my life and cultivate something wonderful.

This is just an experience. Nothing here completes me. Nothing here is something I have to do. This life is a gift to bring forth and build and play.

There is a time when you have to stop feeling bad for yourself and start changing it all.

Instead of feeling bad or putting another goal in my way. I am going to focus on daily construction of an unconvential and wacka dodoodle life.... AS A THIN PERSON lol....

Thank you everyone who has wished me birthday wishes!!!! xoxoxoxoxo

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TETENGRIA 7/21/2010 5:01PM

    Beautiful... Reminded me of Wayne Dyers quote " I am absent of the good opinion of others"

Hugs, K.

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SURRIA 7/15/2010 4:46PM

    Beautiful blog. Thank you for sharing. This truly inspired me.

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