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Progress Report - For Thursday - (11/16 Days)

Friday, April 16, 2010

Thursday was the first day of the Pudge - Off. I really tried to stay strong today.

emoticonI only got to 24 oz today. But I resisted a regular soda and I was so lost in work and getting errands done. I need to focus on water when I am busy too. I also resisted a 2nd diet soda at McDonald's.

Also, normally when I run errands, I don't eat and then my hunger increases and I end up in fast food hell eating 3000 calories. I resisted, I stopped at Mc D for the restroom, grabbed some nuggets (no fries or drink) and ate them throughout the driving around just to stay even - got home - no junk whoot emoticon

emoticon I stayed within calories. I didn't have my lunch hour but while they were reviewing the proposal/bid and docs I ran back and ate my pre-prepared salad - go me! Usually I would just allow my hunger to kick in and eat something like ARBYS for supper. But I stayed strong. Plus my co-worker got me a diet pepsi to keep me from getting a regular whoot!

emoticonI didn' get to do any exercise but I did run around all day and did laundry up and down and cleaning. emoticon


emoticon I didn't meditate today. emoticon

emoticon I am practicing staying present minded and watching how I manage my time.

emoticon No Writtey :( Grr!!! emoticon

Love Myself Status:

Now List: I accomplished 12/19 things.
Soon List: I accomplished 2/10 things.

I am definitely starting to have insights and tests on this front. Following instincts and fighting for myself and stepping out of comfort zone. eick!


End of Day Thoughts:
Thursday was a day for breaking. I even prowled around the snack / soda machine but resisted. I went straight from work to run errands, got bullied by a man, lied to and sold the wrong thing. I am writing the owner a nastygram. If they want woman to be smart and educated and self reliant why do they lie to them, even a small lie could be deadly. And he could have made a mistake that could hurt me if I didn't have people to help me.

KUDOS FOR ME -
I hit many things on my to do list and I stayed bobbing in the water.
I also hit many things on my love list. I trusted myself for the most part and when I didn't I learned and saw and reaffirm the trust thing. I acted on inspiration and intuition. I tried to fight for myself and speak my mind.

I stepped out of my comfort zone and I feel great about the day.

Plus I cleared time so I can leave later on Friday and still have time to eat and pack.

I almost had it made but then a friend called me and I found out her mom has Stage 3 Infiltrating Ductal Carcinoma Breast Cancer and her husband cheated on her and they are getting a divorce.

And this couple I wouldn't have guessed in 50 yrs they would get divorced. I AM FLOORED and saddened. I was up all night and I still have to go today and then drive til 9pm.

But I shall prevail and I shall keep my head above ground and go go go

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LADYBIRD_380 4/16/2010 1:58PM

    That is sad about your friend's family, I will keep them in my thoughts. I know you're in tune and listening to yourself (Go Erica!!) but don't forget to listen to your body. Remember, it does more harm than good trying to run on little sleep. Be safe on your trip!

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To Apply or Not To Apply

Thursday, April 15, 2010

So for years since I was young, I used to watch all kinds of martial arts films. LOL even the karate kid. I watched shows about masters reincarnating into young american children --- BOYS and being found and trained. We never had any money to eat let alone join a school for classes. My mom had a gi and had training when she was younger by some guy.

Well, I always wanted to have a trainer. I used to fantasy about some chinese guy finding me and seeing this awesome spirit and training me in his loving, disciplined, stern way. Maybe because I didn't have an authority figure lol..

Well a few years ago I researched Karate places and all the usual joints pop up. Well, one was different. This one doesn't mention price (oh yeah! we know it will be exp) But it sounds like everything I was always looking for as a child.

It isn't just a open free for all training. It is personal and about martials body mind and soul and it SEEMS really great. It is suggested that you read the info on the site prior to calling for an interview and then if the instructor accepts you... then you go from there.

I don't want to do it if it is $500 a month, I mean come on. But I don't want to pass up an opportunity. what would it hurt to just interview? And then should I wait a little. I mean I am still kinda hefty to be doing roundhouse kicks lol.

Plus I looked up the guy and lol he is some white dude. As if that should matter, I mean he could be nice.. And an interview is just an interview and I am supposed to see if he is my fit too.

I tried to find anything I could on him.

He is also a lawyer by day and we all know lawyers. But he doesn't seem to be too slimy but he is a lawyer and... he also has money but that means he will want lots of money.

I found out the long distance class is $100. It doesn't say a year or what.

I guess nothing will satisfy my knowing unless I go. There is something about it that really makes me want to and then I think, well what if I want to move. But this will give me the needed discipline I need in life. Or...
Or...
Or...

I think I am going to give myself a certain amount of time to prepare, think about it and then I will go interview. And let life guide me.

Part of me is excited because I have been thinking about this for a long time.
Part of me is wary because I could be moving soon to Idaho or anywhere lol
Who knows....

sigh...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

START2LIVE12 4/15/2010 2:54PM

    Leave the "OR's" at the door. You know the answer it lies within. I think you will do wonderfully. emoticon

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KATELOSS2009 4/15/2010 1:45PM

    I'm with LalaFlowers - if he makes a good living as a lawyer, maybe martial arts is his passion, and he does it more for personal fulfillment than anything monetary.

you won't know unless you go.

plus, this could count as your "comfort zone smash" challenge in the Pudge-Off.

GO.

emoticon

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LADYBIRD_380 4/15/2010 10:52AM

    Personally, I say do as much research on this guy/place as you can. Check his name on Facebook even. As --KREN suggested, write down the questions you have and ask them during the interview.

My dream is to be a career diver. I don't care if I'm cleaning Shamu poo out of a tank, if it involves diving on a daily/weekly basis I would be thrilled. However, the school I need to attend in order to get a career started in diving is predominately male which is standing in my way. Knock down what stands in your way.

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FINDINGMYWAY09 4/15/2010 10:29AM

    DO IT! I would love to join a dojo or anything like that! Can't hurt to talk to them!

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JUSTJO66 4/15/2010 8:20AM

    I've heard it said: that when you get "old" that it's not the "things" you did that you regret....but the things you didn't do.

So, what the heck.... think about it...and if it seems right and it's a dream....go for it..... IF it's not right...then at least you stepped out and tried it.

Just my 2c. :o)

Jo

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--KREN 4/15/2010 7:09AM

    People avoid interviews for all sorts of reasons, but the truth is, you can LEARN A LOT from just interviewing for something. YOU get to ASK questions as well as ANSWER them. Go prepared. I can tell you for CERTAIN, you will NOT be accepted if you don't apply. Karen

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LALAFLOWERS 4/15/2010 6:49AM

    you know.. if this is something he does for the love of teaching, it might not be that expensive! It might be a sliding scale, that you would never know about.. and that spirit might have more to do with it than you realize....

Apply. if you come with your before and after pics, and some idea of where you want to be... and how this class / training will help you get there. This is a big part of it.

Can't wait to hear more about!

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SOPHIKKO 4/15/2010 6:42AM

    I think you should interview just to see what it is all about and what kind of price point this guy is looking for. I think it is great to know some martial arts, if only for self defense. And hey, those would be some awesome fitness minutes.

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Trust

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

I was trying to find some complementary quotes from Osho and Gandhi. I am sure I got the idea from them somewhere.

But I have often been presented with the idea of trust. Maybe it even came from a karate movie. Who knows?

What is trust? Do you trust completely? Do you even know? How can you tell?

I often find myself trusting. I trust. Although I find myself very egotistic. I judge life and situations and trust man to be who man is. And through the years, I trust that man will be self-serving and fight for his own journey. If good or right interferes with his journey, he will choose his journey.

I try not to be stereotypical and I try to just be open and vulnerable and just allow life to be life and hope for greatness in all but am not surprised at life.

As I get older, I start having moments of a sense of clarity. A clearing of judgment and ego so I can see something more.

I am not there yet... but I .....

Here is a quote I could find, " A fool is one who goes on trusting; a fool is one who goes on trusting against all his experience. You deceive him, and he trusts you; and you deceive him again, and he trusts you; and you deceive him again, and he trusts you. Then you will say that he is a fool, he does not learn. His trust is tremendous; his trust is so pure that nobody can corrupt it. Be a fool in the Taoist sense, in the Zen sense. Don't try to create a wall of knowledge around you. Whatsoever experience comes to you, let it happen, and then go on dropping it. Go on cleaning your mind continuously; go on dying to the past so you remain in the present, herenow, as if just born, just a babe. In the beginning it is going to be very difficult. The world will start taking advantage of you...let them. They are poor fellows. Even if you are cheated and deceived and robbed, let it happen, because that which is really yours cannot be robbed from you, that which is really yours nobody can steal from you. And each time you don't allow situations to corrupt you, that opportunity will become an integration inside. Your soul will become more crystallized. " - Osho

My experience this week: As I am driving to work, I have random thoughts flipping through with feelings and music and I sense this clearing.

"When someone asks for something, give it to them." And for one moment I could feel myself totally open to this idea. Even my life and I remembered Gandhi and other people who stood up to people who wanted to kill them and how many famous people have said - it is hard to kill a man who is ready to die.

I am sure my words are lacking. But I felt it, open to it. And since then I practice many times through out the day, --- take it.

When driving to work, someone cuts me off and I feel my anger rise as they stop short in front of me and now want to do 15 mph. And I think -- Traffic means nothing to me. If you want it, I freely give this to you. And if I see some toxic person or pattern, I feel myself become more adaptable the whole time thinking "take it."

At work when people are pushing me, asking of me, putting more on me and doing nothing themselves, I find ways to say "take it".

It is the beginning of something inside of me. And will I always be so clear and free, I am not sure. But I am taking this insight and fullness of being and using it to help me be more fab!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LADYBIRD_380 4/15/2010 10:33AM

    I think your thoughts on man choosing his journey over everything else is spot on with that quote from Osho. "...That which is really yours nobody can steal from you..." is true, as long as you make it true. Fight for your jorney. Choose your journey over everything. Only then will it be truely yours and not stolen from you.

I really enjoy your blog, it brings a lot of things into focus in my life. I'm glad our journeys crossed eachother's path!

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GRYFFINSONG 4/14/2010 11:10PM

    You go, girl!!! You ARE fab!!!

emoticon emoticon

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Progress Report (10/17 Days)

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

emoticonI am doing 40 oz now. I just need to pump this up to doing consisten 50 oz. But 40 isn't bad so far. emoticon

emoticonI feel I ate well. I ate one extra pb egg than I wanted to. But I still did well.


emoticonI did Spark Bootcamp Day 3 and I walked 1.75 miles at lunch time emoticon


emoticon I didn't meditate today. emoticon

emoticon I am practicing staying present minded and watching how I manage my time.

emoticon No Writtey emoticon

Love Myself Status:

Now List: I accomplished 13.5/19 things.
Soon List: I accomplished 2/10 things.

I worked on learning new ideas and acting when inspired and spending time with like minded individuals while learning.

This is better than yesterday.


End of Day Thoughts:
Today started well. It seems that if I worked REALLY HARD at work, I slack in my life. If I slack at work, I do well in my life. It seems hard to give 110% for 16 hours straight continually with no real moment of AHH!

I am doing my best to redefine and reshape my thinking so I can try and fit things in.
See Blog Entry.
I understand that life is about change, adaptability, variety and awareness.


FOCUS Goals for Thursday: - Edited with Status
Up at 6 am - I woke up at 6:30, I didn't get to bed early enough
Eat Eggs and follow planned morning ritual emoticon
Print camp material emoticon - prepare - find place on way to hotel emoticon- call to confirm late arrival emoticon
Print directions emoticon
Shop for jeans for weekend emoticon
LAUNDRY emoticon
PACK -- I didn't pack but I did errands I had to do Friday so I ended up still on track.
Finalize all plans for weekend emoticon
Come up with plan for weekend. emoticon

Not to shabby.

  


Progress Report (9/18 days)

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Okay - First off, You can tell how wiped I am, instead of creating another post - I edited an old one! OOPS ! I hope I can remember :P

emoticon I am almost at 40 oz of water. I won't stop til 40 oz. emoticon

emoticonI feel I ate well. I really tried to smoosh in as much fruit as poss. I am stuffed!!! I really didn't even need my chocolate. Still working on choices but I think I did well.


emoticonI did Spark Bootcamp Day 2 emoticon


emoticon I didn't meditate today. emoticon

emoticon I am practicing staying present minded and watching how I manage my time.

emoticon As soon as I get off the computer, I am going to write until bedtime - I will edit in the morning!!!!!!!! I have to get something on paper!!! GRR them is fighting words.

EDIT: I wrote for 30 mins last night just working throught these 4 ideas i have. emoticon

Love Myself Status:
I broke down my love list into 2 sections. One I should be doing everyday NOW. The second are ones I could be doing soon but I need to get the first list done pat.

Now List: I accomplished 10/19 things.
Soon List: I accomplished 0/10 things. LOL!

I also broke my love list into a weekly checkable sheet that I can review daily and check things off to ensure I am improving!

End of Day Thoughts:
I am noticing how naturally I am getting fruits in. I am always drinking water and hardly anything else. I am constantly thinking about how I can improve and how I can take it to another level. I do feel great about my success. I feel great about my days. I feel great about how my body feels and is functioning. I know I am still battling the energy but I really believe if I hang in there my energy will start building back up!

I feel like I am on a new level to my success. A level of eventual success because there is no failure step anymore. All there is is me and success and I am going to make it happen emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEVOTEEOFISET 4/14/2010 9:33PM

    Isn't that crazy and normal drinks are too sugary!

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FINDINGMYWAY09 4/14/2010 11:11AM

    I find that once I got my water drinking I crave water more often now its weird but it helps me hit my 8 glasses to have my body weight in oz.

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