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Progress Report (8/19 Days)

Monday, April 12, 2010

emoticon I drank 40 oz of water. emoticon

emoticonI feel I ate well. I questioned my choices

emoticonI did 35 mins of Day One Spark Bootcamp and extra stretching. I walked for 30 mins at lunch. emoticon

emoticon I didn't meditate at my altar. But I did on my walk. I had some great moments. emoticon

emoticon I am practicing staying present minded and watching how I manage my time.

emoticon I didn't write today. But I did have an idea breakthrough but I NEED TO WRITE IT NOW I also carried the recorder with me at lunch and forced myself to record the idea I had. Practicing the capture of ideas when they come. emoticon

End of Day Thoughts:
I am working with a Daily Plan and I am trying to finally work on the whole package. I am working on variety and I am working on making the right choices in all aspects of my life. It takes work and part of me feels really awesome and part of me feels like a 10 year old used dish rag that the dog just dragged outside to drool and rip apart.

Bed time..

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WIDOWDUFF 4/13/2010 8:24PM

    You're turnin' it up, healthy girl! You Rock!

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FINDINGMYWAY09 4/13/2010 9:35AM

    Do you do walking Meditation? I love it while walking in nature!

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FICTIONRUNNER 4/13/2010 8:57AM

    On writing down the ideas as they come:

I have a variety of notebooks tucked into bags and purses so that there's always one nearby to jot down those ideas that hit at the most unusual times. My cell phone has weird notes typed into any app that'll take them too!

Sounds like you had a great Monday! Keep it up. emoticon

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Inspiration Growing - *crosses fingers I am not jinxing myself*

Monday, April 12, 2010

I have always been a product of outside stimulation and motivation. And the lack pushes me into a melancholy that usually is an undercurrent of my laziness and feelings of being overwhelmed.

I can't seem to get my magnetic north on straight.

I am sitting in the lunch room after my lunch walk eating my beans.

And a feeling came over me and has been with me the past few days.

I am doing this for me! For the first time in my life, I have no motivation such as being famous, making money, being thin, having a boyfriend, a date, a new crush, an event.

Nothing is pushing me other than the desire to do it for me. To love me. Of course cravings come. Of course there isn't enough time in the day. Of course work is hectic. But I have no idea how to explain it.

It feels amazing for the first time in my life to have this sense of peace of mind. Almost like I made up my mind to do this for myself and the universe is moving.

I just had my first realization of this feeling and I hope it doesn't go away.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FINDINGMYWAY09 4/13/2010 9:37AM

    emoticonHere Here for doing this for yourself! I'm right there with you we can do it and we will do it!

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LADYBIRD_380 4/12/2010 5:16PM

    I'm with ya! It's like the sun finally burned off the morning fog and I can see in 100 miles every direction.

emoticon emoticon

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    I wish there was a love blog button. I love when you can finally let go and let the universe do its stuff. Congrats. Enjoy the relief and the flow!

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Where do you find your inspiration?

Sunday, April 11, 2010

emoticon I am inspired by sparkers who keep with it and have had amazing results.
They fill me with the knowing that I CAN DO IT TOO! Sometimes success seems so far away.

emoticon I am inspired by music, books and ideas. You wouldn't think that a fantasy vampire novel would inspire me to take my life back -- but it does.

Sometimes it is just a sweet or intense vocal.
Sometimes it is a great piece of music.
Sometimes it is a lyric.
Sometimes it is the perfect blend with my emotion.

When I read, I feel comforted in who I am, inspired by who I could be, intrigued by what the world could be and accomplish and hopeful I might to be able to make a difference.

Also - Men. Men inspire me. People inspire me. Love inspires me. Good Relationships inspire me.

I love to see love in action. Good husbands, good relationships. It makes me not just think and hope but know == real love is real.

I love to know how people meet and fall in love. I love to honor and dispel the hollywood image. Knowing that love exists keeps me pushing for something greater in my life.

Men inspire me. In my 32 years of life, I have only met a handful of men that make me go weak in the knees. Men who have a mind, who are creative, men who think about life, ideas.
And when I find a new man whether some untouchable musician or some old favorite. Some new neighbor or old crush. Someone who comes into my life by some avenue and they just show signs of life, intelligence, creativity. I feel inspired. To be my best self. I wish I lived in a world where those types of men were everywhere. But the more I stretch my comfort zones and move in other circles, I realize there are honorable, inteligent, loving, committed, sexy, unbelievable men in the world. It excites me. Because if as I get older, I keep meeting and seeing awesome traits in men, it seems kind of logical that I might one day find a match, a partner, a idea sparring lover full of spunk (lol I mean pep!!!!fire!!!), full of passion, full of intensity.

I want fire. I want the smoldering fire that lives within a human being awakened by thought and dreams and set ablaze by love and touch.

I want someone who loves me for all my quirks and desires.

And... I keep meeting this man yet he isn't right. He marries another. He is an untouchable musician (who I know is probably completely flawed) Plus a musician - don't go there lol.

But if you play the law of averages or numbers, I might just find him yet.
And knowing all these old great male writers, great thinkers, poets, singers, alchemists,
dreamers, there has to be a little for me!

Lyrics that inspired the blog - And also inspirations - they alone inspire me to JUMP up and do it.

I imagine I am singing this to my inner daemon.

Time is running out - Muse
"I think I'm drowning,
I wanna break this spell,"

"I won't let you bury it,
I won't let you smother it,
I won't let you murder it.

Our time is running out,
Our time is running out,
You can't push it underground,
You can't stop it screaming out."


Sia - Breathe me

"Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame"

"Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe"


Whenever I hear this song it or I am weak, I play it at least 6x and just sing it over and over again until I feel strong, vulnerable and beautiful. And if I play it enough, I usually can propel myself into exercise, writing or something productive.

With music and the written word, I feel I am a competent emotional alchemist.
Thank God for your beautiful creativity to save me, to help me see, to comfort me while I take this journey called Life.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

XENAMY 4/12/2010 10:56AM

  Wow... ok, SIA song completely in my soul... in my soul, in my breath! Oh, I feel that song, I taste it. Oh... I'm in on the vampire fighting too! emoticon

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DEVOTEEOFISET 4/12/2010 10:05AM

    If you fight vampires, I want to come to. I can find me a Spike lol emoticon

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NIXIE27 4/12/2010 9:52AM

    I am a lover of the vampire books myself. Have you ever read anything by Christine Feehan? Real men! LOL, or the concept of it anyway, they just all happen to be Carpathians...."sigh"

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FINDINGMYWAY09 4/12/2010 8:55AM

    The book called, "Nosy Neighbor" (not a vampire book lol) helped me while Ryan and I were splitting in the book the main character would talk about how she wasn't in love with her boyfriend (who turned out to be a bad guy) but in love with the idea of being in love so that and the song Find my way (hence the user name lol) from the Legally Blonde soundtrack actually that whole play!

Also funny story my best friend lives in Sunnyvale, CA and I told her if she started fighting vampires to call me and I would totally move there with her! (Like Sunnydale from buffy!)

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Know Your Birthday - July 14

Sunday, April 11, 2010

I love Numerology, Astrology etc... They give me things to think about and think through.

Some snippets about my birthday -

The birthday of the illusionist.

My greatest challenge is RELIABILITY.

The way forward is to understand that however great your ability to charm, the best way to earn the respect of others is to prove that you're honest, reliable, and committed.

They are masters of the art of illusion and their talent for developing believable and fascinating theories, strategies and stories is awesome.

Possessing the drive and enthusiasm to make things happen, they can, despite their obvious gifts, get depressed or melancholy for no apparent reason.

It said that until the age of 38, I will be gaining confidence and I need to learn to balance the seductive gift with solid results. I need to turn the illusions into reality. Once I learn to use my seductive will-power to achieve rather than "talk about my objectives, I will be a force to be reckoned with.

This made me feel good because I feel like it is really true. I need to put up or shut up. I need to act. I need to be the person I want to be.

And it made me feel like maybe I am on the path and I am just taking that next step and all I have to do is move and feel the universe and I can have success.

I got this from "The Element Encyclopedia of Birthdays" by Theresa Cheung

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FINDINGMYWAY09 4/12/2010 8:56AM

    I'm a Libra to the letter too and an Ox which I'm also like I think my numerology number is 6 or 4 (I used to be BIG in this stuff since am a little)

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DEVOTEEOFISET 4/11/2010 11:07PM

    I am a horse! lol

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SNORFSNORKEL 4/11/2010 11:04PM

    You are indeed on The Path!

Taking action can be difficult, but it is necessary.

Someone has a quote from Ghandi, that says, in essence, that action brings results, desired or undesired. Therein are lessons to be learned. But without action, there are no results.

My Aquarian qualities are very strong - assets and liabilities.

Peace emoticon

Comment edited on: 4/11/2010 11:07:39 PM

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LADYBIRD_380 4/11/2010 10:31PM

    Very cool! I'm a Sagittarius to the letter. Also born in the year of the rat. Life is good as long as I don't let me be too hard on myself :)

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Progress Report (7/20 days)

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Weekly Weigh In 182 - Lost 3 pounds.

emoticon I Drank only 8oz water - I am not drinking other drinks but I need to focus on more water. I have stopped craving other drinks. emoticon

emoticon I ate under calories but I didn't pace myself to keep my metabolism up and I didn't make the best choices.

emoticonI didn't exercise emoticon

emoticon I meditated. Not a whole lot but I centered myself and relaxed a bit. emoticon

emoticon I am practicing staying present minded and watching how I manage my time.

emoticon I didn't write today. emoticon

I did tasks for my mother today and went grocery shopping. I got some healthy foods for this week. I straightened up my room and planned a tentative schedule for my days so I can fit in all the things I want to do. I need to work on foundation building with discipline as a main focus. I am hoping to see some pitfalls and hone a good schedule that works for me this week.

For this past week, I feel really good. I am not craving soda or ice tea. I feel okay about water. I think this is the first weekend I didn't crave wawa, icetea, soda, or candy or junk food. It is what it is. I can see more clearly and I feel stronger.

I am hoping for good things this week.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SNORFSNORKEL 4/11/2010 10:54PM

    Thanks for your comment - I WAS having a difficult day - now I am uplifted!

I truly admire your efforts and self-evaluation. You are inspiring me to do the same.

Remember, a habit takes about 3 weeks to get established, and you have taken on quite a bit.

A 15 minute brisk daily walk is enough exercise for me to burn my calorie quota for the week. From that daily routine, I can expand.

6 small meals and snax keeps me at the low end of my calorie range, and satisfied. Takes some planning and effort.

I keep 3 water bottles full of 20 oz, between home and work, and sip whenever I see one.

I have started a Tai Chi class, exercise, stretching, and meditation all rolled into one!

I need to refresh my skills in Tarot, Runes and the Tao - they offer a useful guide.

On your inspiration, and the news, I have begun writing a book, in small bits, a little each day - thank goodness for cut and paste, and for Google searching! It will take on a life of its own.

Several sources have shown me how to recognize "barriers" to progress - deeply ingrained attitudes and beliefs that are counter productive. Getting past them is another story.

Best wishes to you on your journey - I am wishing good things for you this week!

Illegitimati non carborundum!


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