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Progress Report (1/26 days)

Monday, April 05, 2010

Report Template is in progress but I just want to start!

emoticon I DRANK 16.9 oz of water - More than I have drank in months! emoticon

emoticon I resisted french fries. I didn't eat crazy and I ate chicken and small portions.

emoticon I did not exercise today. emoticon

emoticon I didn't meditate today emoticon

emoticon I am practicing staying present minded and watching how I manage my time.

emoticon I didn't write today. emoticon

Thoughts: I just decided to write the blog today. I did a lot of organizing and cleaning up piles so I can DO THIS! I do know that if you don't plan ahead and keep your mind on task.
It is easy to slip.

I feel good about today but the fact that I didn't write or meditate is upsetting.


Progress... What is progress and am I making any?!>.

Monday, April 05, 2010


I am going to start focusing on what am I accomplishing? What am I doing every day and what does it lead up to? What am I building and creating in my life?

Today is my first report of where I stand. Each day I am going to report what I did and where it is leading me.

On May 1, If I haven't made any progress, I want lots and lots of harsh criticism.

I don't want to remain the same way forever.

Insanity - doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.

emoticonStarting Report - April 5, 2010 emoticon

I am 31.66 lol
I weigh 185
I wear size TIGHT 12 and 14
I am not drinking any water daily
I am not exercising daily
I am not meditating daily
I am not present moment aware
I am not painting
I am not writing
I am not singing
I am not being creative
I am not listening to my inner self
I am not following my intuition
I am not learning new things/subjects

In the 31.66 years, I have learned a lot.
I joined Spark in November. Since November, I pulled myself out of despair, found some semblance of peace and forward direction.

In the month of this group, I found a way to be more accountable to myself. I am in charge of my life and I decide how I spend my time.

Failure is an option and an option, I have decided to close the door on.

I am excited to see how I can change in the coming month. I must prove to myself that I love myself and I am worth it.

All else will fall in line.

I got myself pretty organized and I am going to stay that way!

If I fail to achieve change in the next month, please be mean to me!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

XENAMY 4/5/2010 6:49PM

  I love this, love this, love this. I'm here with you as well, in the same place... although I wish I was a size 12. I am now exercising every day and trying to get to a good place for me. Here's to us!!!!

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GRYFFINSONG 4/5/2010 5:14PM

    Brava for taking this step!!! I can't promise to be mean, but I can encourage, remind, and gently push if needed. If you ever feel discouraged, pick just ONE of the items on your list and do that RIGHT THAT VERY MOMENT. That's what I sometimes do to get myself off the mark.

Hugs, best of luck, and I know you can do it!!!


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KAYBEEINCC 4/5/2010 4:12PM

    I'm anxious to see how you do in the next month, too! I'm glad you're out of the negative despair phase, now let's see an "I am..." list! Are you starting P90X, or have you already? I'm starting tomorrow (well, tonight is the Fit Test). I am a huge procrastinator, hence the extra 30 lbs., and I want to do something about it before it becomes 40 lbs to lose! Good luck to us! emoticon

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VALERIE1181 4/5/2010 3:47PM

    emoticon Your blog is really honest and heart felt. You will obtain your goals. emoticon

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Tarot / Rune Reading Thoughts

Sunday, April 04, 2010

Yesterday I finally got a tarot/rune reading. It was only a short free one but it was very interesting.

I got three cards -

Past (Love)
Present (Princess of Swords - If I can remember)
Future (Wealth)

The thing I was interested in was I always get that I am married. It always seems to throw every reader.

And then with the runes etc, she was remarkable in my reading.

I can't remember everything she said but she mentioned that I seem to be fighting a lot of aspects in my life. I have a lot of obstacles in my way and I am not doing what I want to be doing.

She also mentioned that my life will never be what it needs to be until I learn to love myself.
And part of me thought that was wrong because I have such a huge ego and I think highly of myself.

But if you look at my goals, the things I want to change and the things I need to be doing to live my dreams - you will see I might think highly of myself but if I truly loved myself I would be doing all of those things.

The proof is in the action!

But she mentioned if I love myself and follow my intuition I will be successful in life, creativity.

It was interesting to have such a short reading and have her say and touch on the main things I was thinking and wanted confirmation on.

I still feel like I am back at Erica Square One. But... I feel loved and strong enough to see where this will take me.

I really would like to go back to her for a longer reading but have accomplished and started down the right path.



Catching Up

Thursday, April 01, 2010

I don't know if I am the only one that feels this way but it always seems that when I get all gung-ho to restart my diet/lifestyle/etc - Life falls apart. It seems like the more I try, the harder I push the crazier life gets and the more challenging it gets.

I wanted to start the spring fresh and renewed. And here I get sideswipped and taken out for over a week. I am slowly getting back into shape but I can't seem to eat much and I am real shaky and panicky afraid to eat anything for fear of dizziness, nausea, puke, etc.

I ended up getting the dreaded stomach thing going around which lead to a bacterial bladder infection which is leading to a yeast infection and I just got my TOM today.

LOL! Not to mention I got so dehydrated from the infection, I had to go to the ER to get fluids pumped back into me, antibiotics.

I still forced myself to go to work most the time and push through. Really I couldn't without the help of the anti-nausea meds and antibiotics.

I tend to really be harsh with myself and put myself up to high standards.

I am not going to let it get to me. I am just going to move forward and try to make each day the best I can.

I am going to try to find a way to attract that the harder I try, the easier it gets. That the harder I try, the more the universe helps me.

I am going to follow my dreams and find a way to live in that happiness.

I feel like a lifetime has passed my way and I have missed a lot. I have forced myself to miss things and opportunities.

I will not live that way anymore. I will try to be open, vulnerable, truthful, real with myself and my needs and to fulfill them.

To live true.

I must say the end of the rainbow has come -
- I lost a few pounds
- I worked out my craving for wawa tea
- I worked out my sugar and chocolate and rice krispy cravings
The sickness makes me want to only eat healthy and small portions and really
hit home that PROBIOTICS rock.

Maybe I will come out ahead in this yet.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FINDINGMYWAY09 4/2/2010 1:42PM

    ahh the best diet the flu diet the only downside may cause death

I'm really glad you are feeling better and I hear ya once you are finally getting your life together it likes to fall apart and be like "what now!" but think about it this way if you can keep going when everything else around you falls apart you know you'll be stronger at the end of it!

PS welcome back!

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START2LIVE12 4/2/2010 10:28AM

    Glad to see you are feeling better.

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JILLIEWILLE1 4/1/2010 5:33PM

    I was sick for over a week in late feb. early march it took so much out of me. I work third shift so that is a extra stress on my body. I just let myself get better.

It took me awhile to get back into the pace. At least I wasn't hungry!

But I hate to vomit! Could never be bulimic!!

Half the battle is seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and keep on keeping on!

I am delighted you are feeling better! emoticon

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Wednesday, March 17, 2010

The COO walked in today and I thought she was going to request something. But she stated that whenever she walks into the room, and she said she doesn't know if it is my left side or the light or what but she said," You are really beautiful" and she was going to continue but the phone rang lol!!!

She said sometimes I take you for granted but you are really beautiful.

Man, she makes me want to go home, get some makeup on and really dazzle her.

I never really think of myself as beautiful, cute maybe, when I am thinner but...

Just hearing it was lovely, really lovely.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    COO - Chief Operating Officer. :)

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GRYFFINSONG 3/18/2010 1:33PM

    I have no clue what a COO is, but she's right, you are beautiful. Hugs to you, and have a fabulous day!

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XENAMY 3/17/2010 7:14PM

  Awwww.... You are beautiful! You should know that. Even so... it's good to get confirmation every so often. Hopefully it made the day better.

P.S... Love the clouds.

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FINDINGMYWAY09 3/17/2010 4:25PM

    awww thats awesome! I work with all guys so I won't ever get that because I think thats grounds for a harassment suit I wouldn't go after them lol.

Happy St Patrick's day!

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