Wednesday, January 06, 2010
For me, I have not been just losing weight. I am tring to restructure my whole life. Stop the excuses, accept the universe, and allow myself to be full of light and love.
It has been interesting to think my old thoughts and to stop them, erase them and think the opposite, think positively.
I really did get something out of complaining and not doing everything I always knew was the right way -- exercising, writing, being creative,wise,funny, sharing,
studying, etc... so much and I got things by not doing them.
Not doing them was easier. I could fit in.
So once again, here I am accepting myself as this being of light.
I have been surrounding myself with words, media, friends who share this vision.
However, right now, I am instant messaging an old high school friend. I care about her. I would like to see her rise up and be that special person she feels inside.
I don't usually like to keep saying things to make people keep thinking about the message I am trying to convey. I usually roll over. I tried to fight each of her excuses. Of course I stopped and then gave her some well being words and that is that.
But it is so sad how awesome we are, she is with excuses. She is like an excuse wizard. They are so up in her being that she can not even see them.
I will send her light and I will do what needs to be done. But it is sad as I sit here and think I might not be her friend soon.
I remember when I lost weight years ago, she treated me like an alien and was rude and mean and I know that contributed to me gaining weight back.
I know that she will not want to hang with me once i am too successful she is one of those people. And I will give that thought to the universe. Maybe life will surprise me.. Maybe I will be able to keep my new way my real way and
still keep some of my friends.
But no longer will i inhibit myself for another or allow myself to be influenced by their reactions/action/thoughts.
I will try to be the inspiration and share but i will not control or force something that just might not be what the universe needs to grow.